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Guest bo804

I love this site and I read the reviews often. I am gay, and hire with my boyfriend sometimes. I notice a lot of the reviewers say they are married. I am curious.....is there really that many married men hiring escorts. I have no judgement, I am just curious.

thanks

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Guest WestTxGuy

Just my 2 cents as one of those married guys you're talking about:

 

I hire escorts because I love sex with men, but don't want to give up on my marriage either. I know it sounds weird, but I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too (or is that cock and eat it too ;-) )

 

Anyway, I digress. It's too risky for me to go to bars or someplace I might be spotted. Plus I have no desire to have a real relationship with another guy. I just want to have a good time with no strings attached. Anything else would be too threatening. Shallow of me? Definitely, but that's the way I feel. Escorts are great because they get what they want ($$) and I get what I want (a hot guy pounding my ass--when I'm in the mood to bottom, which is often :p )

 

Oh well, I'll stop here. I'm starting to rehash an old thread on married guys we beat to death about 4-5 months ago.

 

BTW, I'm probably gay, but bi enough to still have hot sex with my wife. I just happen to like pecs more than boobs.

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>can i ask, do these guys consider themselves to be str8 or

>bi or gay??

 

If we're not careful this conversation is going to meld into the "Straight Guys" thread over in the Lounge forum, and we all know where that's going fast ;-)

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Guest Stefano

From my experience with my married clients, most of them are gay. Some say Bi and seem to mean it but most of the others that say bi say it with slight hesitation and avoid eye contact when saying it. As though they know they are still lying to themselves. I think it's kinda cute.

 

I can't imagine what it would be like to be married and have homosexual feelings. But I do know that I admire them in a sense. When the sex and intimacy are put aside for the moment, these men get to experience family life and I am sure that that has got to be worth any and everything.

 

Mike ;-)~

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RE: Rosie O'Donnell would be pissed

 

>these men get to experience family life and I am

>sure that that has got to be worth any and everything.

 

That's kind of an odd statement, Mike. (Are you sure you're not working for Jeb Bush?) Gay people can have "family life" and/or be loving parents without being in the closet & having an opposite-sex partner.

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Guest bo804

RE: Rosie O'Donnell would be pissed

 

thank you rick, I am gald you said that. i have many friends (gay couples) they have gret family lives. family life has nothing to do with being gay or str8

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Guest Stefano

RE: Rosie O'Donnell would be pissed

 

Well I guess it was sort of an odd statement and feel the need to apologize to Rosie since I adore her. But I am not apoligizing for the statement, but rather for not elaborating further.

 

True this is not the first time I've heard gay/lesbian families. And I think it's wonderful. However my clients didn't grow up during times like these where those types of situations are very common. So for my "Married Clients" it was not even an option.

 

Myself, I would NEVER marry a woman just to have a family. But then again I came out when I was seventeen and the year was 1998. Even then I knrew that if i did ever have a family it would be through adoption. I hope I've cleared it up a little for you.

 

Mike ;-)~

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Hey there,

 

I'd say at least 80% of my clients are married. Many just want some tension release which I'm always glad to help in that dept<G> I've had some really cool conversations with older gentlemen about how it would have been impossible in their town or social situation to come out in their twenties so they've just lead a double life. I'm glad they can trust me.

 

 

John

http://www.SmallTownJohn1.com

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It's great to meet you again, Mike.

 

Until recently, I was sure almost everyone was bi ("true bi" as it is called here). It seemed to me the natural thing to be. Then I joined this site and was surprised to learn I was in minority. Then I read on and was shocked to learn that according to some posters, I was any or all of the following: 1: non-existent, 2: unhappy, 3: dishonest, 4: going through a phase of denial on my journey to discovering my "true", exclusively gay sexuality, 5: feeling threatened by said true, exclusively gay sexuality. To annoy those posters, let me say that I love pussy. As a matter of fact, happiness for me is enjoying both worlds. I don't hire a lot, but I love to cuddle with a twink from time to time, with no anal intercourse.

 

I may be in minority, but I am surely not alone. Or am I?

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Guest jizzdepapi

less than? nah!

 

To CMP and West Texas Guy:

 

You are welcome!

You are complete!

You are NOT less than anyone here!

You have your own journey which we don't need (and I don't want) to approve!

You have something to teach all of us, if we would only shut up and listen!

As the saying goes, "Be all that you can be!"

 

Best,

Jizz-de-pussy-&-bunghole-diverse-divers

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Guest Thunderbuns

>BTW, I'm probably gay, but bi enough to still have hot sex

>with my wife. I just happen to like pecs more than boobs.

 

Well, you certainly have all your bases covered when it comes to looking out for the person most important to you - YOU!

 

Ever stop to think that maybe your wife is getting a little short changed?

 

Thunderbuns

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Guest jizzdepapi

oh no; the monogamy thing!

 

hmnnn. ever stop to think that a guy getting a piece on the side is probably a happier guy and a hell of a lot easier to live with.

 

glad to see you have all the details about his life and the ever-ready judgment.

 

best,

jizz

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thunderbuns>Ever stop to think that maybe your wife is getting a little

>short changed?

 

jizzdepapi>Ever stop to think that a guy getting a piece on the

>side is probably a happier guy and a hell of a lot easier to

>live with?

 

I agree with both of you. He has a right to make himself happy & fulfilled, and in turn that is a good thing for his wife. However, coming as I do from a completely honest relationship, I am a major proponent of total openness & trust. It is kind of sad that he can't feel close enough to his wife to let her in on that side of his life...but is it true that most women wouldn't be able to deal with it? I'm not passing judgement & I respect the decisions made by my closeted married clients...but I do feel that no relationship is whole without trust, friendship, and honesty. I guess we all have different priorities, tho...I had a client last year tell me that he'd never come out to his wife because he didn't want to (I thought he was about to say "hurt my wife" but instead he said:) risk losing his Mercedes & lovely New Rochelle home.

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Guest WestTxGuy

Oh Boy, It looks like we really are on course to relive the "Married with Children" thread that went through many, many angst-ridden posts a few months ago.

 

I'm sure this will end up being really long, but here is my boiled down response:

 

Jizz is right, you don't know all the particulars of my situation and you haven't walked in my shoes. Maybe it would have been best if I had never married 20 years ago, but I was young, had never been with a man and never expected to. I only came to grips with my gay feelings in the years that followed. By that time I had children and a surprisingly happy marriage that I didn't want to destroy.

 

If I had to pick I would choose my marriage over the sex, but it's not that easy. I have tried many times to go cold turkey, but like an alcoholic, I keep going back to guys. I have been for stretches of two years or more without gay sex, but that old feeling always comes creeping back.

 

Other than this (albeit large) dishonest part of my life, I think I am an amazingly thoughtful, sensitive, generous and caring husband. I'm the guy that many women say they wish their husbands were more like. Of course, they don't know of the huge flaw I have in secret.

 

People on this board have called me selfish to see escorts on the side, but it's more complicated than that. I think the selfish thing to do would be to say "to hell with my family. I'm gay and I want to explore my gayness." This would destroy my wife, my kids and my marriage. I would rather quit than do that.

 

Rick, in a perfect world, my wife and I would have a deep discussion and she would grow to understand my feelings and we would all get along. But that's not how it works in suburban middle America. My wife absolutely would NOT understand and would be totally unable to accept any of this. Just knowing would be a death knell to our relationship. I guess that's sad, but I get so much happiness from the rest of my family life that I'm willing to accept it. My wife and I really do love each other and we have a great family.

 

I don't know where else to go with it. Some may think I'm "tortured" over this. But I'm really not. I just try to be careful and not get caught. I also hire escorts much, much less than I did before I began thinking harder about it after the last time we had this thread going strong.

 

BTW I use condoms with escorts AND with my wife. I don't want to bring anything home to her. THAT, I couldn't live with.

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Guest Thunderbuns

RE: oh no; the monogamy thing!

 

>glad to see you have all the details about his life and the

>ever-ready judgment.

 

No jizz - I don't have all the details about his life - just the ones he provided us with in his post. And I still think his most number one concern, is looking out for number one!

 

And how is it that when you express an opinion it's just an opinion and totally non-judgmental, but when others express their opinion, it becomes an "ever-ready" judgment?

 

This must be double standard week and I missed it!

 

Thunderbuns

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Guest Thunderbuns

>Jizz is right, you don't know all the particulars of my

>situation and you haven't walked in my shoes.

 

You're quite right - I only know what you told us in your post and I got the feeling that you were more concerned about your self than others. I may be wrong, but that's the way it came across.

 

>I'm the guy that many women say they wish

>their husbands were more like. Of course, they don't know

>of the huge flaw I have in secret.

 

What they probably mean, without realizing it, is that they wish their husbands had more of the typical gay traits. ;-)

 

>Rick, in a perfect world, my wife and I would have a deep

>discussion and she would grow to understand my feelings and

>we would all get along. But that's not how it works in

>suburban middle America. My wife absolutely would NOT

>understand and would be totally unable to accept any of

>this. Just knowing would be a death knell to our

>relationship.

 

I have friends who are in the same boat (so to speak) as you and I have listened to their tales of woe and rationalizations many times.

I ever had an affair with a guy I went to public shool with that lasted several months. I had picked him up in a night time cruising area of a park, and when I got him home we realised we had known each other in grade three, or whatever. After we were well into the affair, he told me he was married and he took me home to have dinner with his wife and two kids (none of whom knew the score). Turned out that the wife was a girl I used to take piano lessons with when I was about nine. Talk about a wierd evening that was!

 

I feel sorry for guys in these circumstances. But don't confuse "feeling sorry" with pity, for that's not what I mean. I guess it's just that I feel we only pass through here once and it is a shame to have to deny who and what you are. Although in your case it sounds as if you get enough satisfaction from your straight life to make up for it.

 

>BTW I use condoms with escorts AND with my wife. I don't

>want to bring anything home to her. THAT, I couldn't live

>with.

 

This is absolutely none of my business, but I was just wondering how you explain to your wife why you use condoms with her for if she thinks she is your only partner, why would it be necessary? Unless, of course, she is not on the pill. Once again - I know it's not my business.

 

Thunderbuns

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Guest jizzdepapi

RE: oh no; the monogamy thing!

 

seems like you had a whole lot of opinion, based on no facts. you also made the assumption that his affairs on the side were detrimental to his marriage.

 

hope when i pronounce something, i've based it on something.

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Guest Thunderbuns

RE: oh no; the monogamy thing!

 

>seems like you had a whole lot of opinion, based on no

>facts. you also made the assumption that his affairs on the

>side were detrimental to his marriage.

 

You really should read my original post more carefully - much more!

 

I didn't express a "whole lot of opinion" just a very simple one that I thought he was looking out for himself at the possible expense of others.

 

And I never said it was detrimental to his marriage. I just said that I thought his wife was getting short changed. There's a huge differance.

 

Please do not try and put YOUR words into MY mouth and read what a person says before you tear it to ratshit.

 

>hope when i pronounce something, i've based it on something.

 

Says jizz........ sounding oh so noble.

 

Thunderbuns

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No, you're not alone. In the flower power years, and for a long time after that, it seemed like all of the gay community was into accepting and exploring their own androgeny. In those days, many, many of us thought like you do, and I am sure that there are a lot of us (yes, us) who haven't changed their minds, but are a little too gentle to bother arguing too often with our brothers about whether or not to accept our own feelings.

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RE: oh no; the monogamy thing!

 

I think that the important thing here is not whether a person is in a straight or gay marriage, but whether he is in an open or closed one. Although I know that it costs me money, I do not knowingly accept a married man as a client unless he assures me that he is in an open relationship. I pride myself on the fact that although many in society say that this is a crime, if it indeed is it is most certainly a victimless one, and that would include not lying to a spouse. After all, I was entrapped by lying policemen - Integrity and honesty are a survival issue for me.

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