Real Question: What if We're Both Bottoms?

[Cure69]

Okay, I'd like to provide some context without being too wordy:

★ This forum has been a treasure trove for me so far! ★ I'm very new to exploring my sexuality ★ I know for a certainty I'm a bottom (I've always felt that way but I only had my first bottom experience about two months ago) ★ other than trying to hire men (which I haven't done yet), I'd like to try and meet guys organically (if that's still a thing or even possible these days) ★ and so, my question is:

What if the both of us are bottoms?

Do I just ask him if he's top/bottom?

Do I tell him I'm strictly bottom?

I ask because I love being a bottom partner and I'm in ecstasy when giving a blowjob. I've never thought of topping a guy (and have no desire to do so), I may allow him to go down on me if he wanted to but that's about it (I've yet to experience this, too, though). What if he's just like me? How do I get this out of the way when I'm trying to meet guys? (making sure he knows I'm a bottom and helping him to realize that I prefer he be a top.)

Help!

[jjkrkwood]

If you are BOTH bottom, all hope is NOT lost.   There are many fun things you can do together.   But if you CRAVE being penetrated, then just ASK.....  I thought the first question Gays ask each other is "What are you, top or bottom" ?   (as if those are the only 2 alternatives)  .

And when cyber shopping, and he says "Was Sup? "   you can then ask "are you a top?" and get it out of the way..... You have nothing to lose at that point but a potential fuck.  

[MscleLovr]

Be direct @Cure69 Keep perfecting your blowjob-skills - lots of men appreciate a dedicated and enthusiastic cocksucker. 

[jjkrkwood]

31 minutes ago, MscleLovr said:

Be direct @Cure69 Keep perfecting your blowjob-skills - lots of men appreciate a dedicated and enthusiastic cocksucker. 

 

I have never met a guy that said "I just want my cock sucked"......   Wish I DID !      Usually their fingers go right into my Ass...... RUDE.  🤣

[Guest]

[Mjonis]

Even if you are both bottoms (I think I'm versatile, but hubby's hole is super tight and he doesn't find it very pleasureable), even I get tired of bottoming all the time.  I like variety.  Cock sucking, ball sucking, rimming, edging, milking, etc.  Would love to be in a manwich someday.    So I don't think you have to announce right away "I'm a bottom".  You're more than just that one aspect of yourself, IMO.

 

[+ StLouisOct]

2 hours ago, Cure69 said:

Okay, I'd like to provide some context without being too wordy:

★ This forum has been a treasure trove for me so far! ★ I'm very new to exploring my sexuality ★ I know for a certainty I'm a bottom (I've always felt that way but I only had my first bottom experience about two months ago) ★ other than trying to hire men (which I haven't done yet), I'd like to try and meet guys organically (if that's still a thing or even possible these days) ★ and so, my question is:

What if the both of us are bottoms?

Do I just ask him if he's top/bottom?

Do I tell him I'm strictly bottom?

I ask because I love being a bottom partner and I'm in ecstasy when giving a blowjob. I've never thought of topping a guy (and have no desire to do so), I may allow him to go down on me if he wanted to but that's about it (I've yet to experience this, too, though). What if he's just like me? How do I get this out of the way when I'm trying to meet guys? (making sure he knows I'm a bottom and helping him to realize that I prefer he be a top.)

Help!

I always provide a potential escort with an introductory message explaining what I like (in your case, “I’m a bottom only who loves to....”) Such a statement seems to be much appreciated and results in a better experience for all concerned. It also gives the provider the opportunity to say that he’s not a good fit for you. I hope you have an increasing number of great experiences!

[+ FrankR]

 

2 hours ago, Cure69 said:

Okay, I'd like to provide some context without being too wordy:

★ This forum has been a treasure trove for me so far! ★ I'm very new to exploring my sexuality ★ I know for a certainty I'm a bottom (I've always felt that way but I only had my first bottom experience about two months ago) ★ other than trying to hire men (which I haven't done yet), I'd like to try and meet guys organically (if that's still a thing or even possible these days) ★ and so, my question is:

What if the both of us are bottoms?

Do I just ask him if he's top/bottom?

Do I tell him I'm strictly bottom?

I ask because I love being a bottom partner and I'm in ecstasy when giving a blowjob. I've never thought of topping a guy (and have no desire to do so), I may allow him to go down on me if he wanted to but that's about it (I've yet to experience this, too, though). What if he's just like me? How do I get this out of the way when I'm trying to meet guys? (making sure he knows I'm a bottom and helping him to realize that I prefer he be a top.)

Help!

Communicate!  And keep a double headed dildo handy!  😉

 

[Cure69]

1 hour ago, jjkrkwood said:

If you are BOTH bottom, all hope is NOT lost.   There are many fun things you can do together.   But if you CRAVE being penetrated, then just ASK.....  I thought the first question Gays ask each other is "What are you, top or bottom" ?   (as if those are the only 2 alternatives)  .

And when cyber shopping, and he says "Was Sup? "   you can then ask "are you a top?" and get it out of the way..... You have nothing to lose at that point but a potential fuck.  

This makes total sense ... I can see in the first "real world" scenario asking "are you a top/bottom" isn't so polite, makes sense and yes, there are other ways to have fun ... agreed! 🙃

Whereas if I were looking online, the more direct approach does make sense. I mean, we're all there looking for the same thing, aren't we?

Thanks for the advice! 🥰

[Cure69]

1 hour ago, MscleLovr said:

Be direct @Cure69 Keep perfecting your blowjob-skills - lots of men appreciate a dedicated and enthusiastic cocksucker. 

Keep perfecting my blowjob-skills? Hahaha I'm trying!!!!! (my current rate on blowjobs is a whopping 4 times!!! I have a while to go, LOL).

But yes, I really do love the idea of being a dedicated cocksucker (such an amazing feeling, I can't contain myself!) 🥰🥰🥰

[MscleLovr]

2 minutes ago, Cure69 said:

. I mean, we're all there looking for the same thing, aren't we

I’m not so sure @Cure69 You may meet a nice well-formed cock that you want to love, honour and obey on a long term basis 😎

[Cure69]

1 hour ago, jjkrkwood said:

 

I have never met a guy that said "I just want my cock sucked"......   Wish I DID !      Usually their fingers go right into my Ass...... RUDE.  🤣

I've only sucked one cock and was only able to last about 10 or so minutes (it's tiring but so enjoyable!!!!) I need to build up some stamina (LOL LOL).

But yes, I agree, for me, the cock ended up inside me pretty quickly. (smh)

1 hour ago, Unicorn said:

I like!

[Cure69]

53 minutes ago, Mjonis said:

Even if you are both bottoms (I think I'm versatile, but hubby's hole is super tight and he doesn't find it very pleasureable), even I get tired of bottoming all the time.  I like variety.  Cock sucking, ball sucking, rimming, edging, milking, etc.  Would love to be in a manwich someday.    So I don't think you have to announce right away "I'm a bottom".  You're more than just that one aspect of yourself, IMO.

 

Hmm. 🤨 Maybe I am just learning about myself but, I've had a couple of opportunities to top someone I know and I was a bit "turned off" at the idea (I remember wanting to suck his cock and have him jump on top of me instead but at that time, I had not decided on allowing myself to explore my sexuality.)

That said, I guess I'll allow myself some time but it sure feels like I love to make him (whoever "him/he" is) feel as good as I can possibly can. I guess I feel more submissive than anything else. (???)

[Cure69]

57 minutes ago, StLouisOct said:

I always provide a potential escort with an introductory message explaining what I like (in your case, “I’m a bottom only who loves to....”) Such a statement seems to be much appreciated and results in a better experience for all concerned. It also gives the provider the opportunity to say that he’s not a good fit for you. I hope you have an increasing number of great experiences!

You see? This forum is such a treasure trove!!! I never thought about this sort of an introduction with escorts.

I hope I have an increasing number of great experiences, too!! 🥰🙃🤗😋

[Cure69]

23 minutes ago, FrankR said:

 

Communicate!  And keep a double headed dildo handy!  😉

 

Uh, wow! My first had a 5-6" cock (very thick) that freaked me out when I looked at it ... this thing almost gave me a heart attack! 😂

[Cure69]

14 minutes ago, MscleLovr said:

I’m not so sure @Cure69 You may meet a nice well-formed cock that you want to love, honour and obey on a long term basis 😎

I wish!!!!!!

[jeezifonly]

9 minutes ago, Cure69 said:

Uh, wow! My first had a 5-6" cock (very thick) that freaked me out when I looked at it ... this thing almost gave me a heart attack! 😂

You do need to shop for some dildoes. For a non-humiliating way to discover your bottoming preferences. (Silicone only, as it’s safer, softer, easier to clean.) Toys can be a way for two bottoms to enjoy penetration as part of sex. There’s plenty of activities aside from penetration, anyway. Self training with toys the best way to listen to your body as it’s being challenged. Yes, you’ve given the invader permission, and the chain of command relays this info slowly, as the dildo gets past the first gate and then the door, and the relayed messages go from Halt! to “Willkomen, Bienvenue, Welcome, C’mon in…”

 

[Cure69]

23 minutes ago, jeezifonly said:

You do need to shop for some dildoes. For a non-humiliating way to discover your bottoming preferences. (Silicone only, as it’s safer, softer, easier to clean.) Toys can be a way for two bottoms to enjoy penetration as part of sex. There’s plenty of activities aside from penetration, anyway. Self training with toys the best way to listen to your body as it’s being challenged. Yes, you’ve given the invader permission, and the chain of command relays this info slowly, as the dildo gets past the first gate and then the door, and the relayed messages go from Halt! to “Willkomen, Bienvenue, Welcome, C’mon in…”

 

Hahaha (I'm sorry this made me laugh so hard!)

I honestly wish I can buy a dildo, I just don't have a place to put it (Not sure if I mentioned it in my initial post but I am married and still live with my wife). That situation aside, though, I've "shopped" for dildos here in Chelsea, NY but never found them to be as interesting as the real thing. I do, though, wish I had one!!!! 😩😭 maybe I wouldn't be so desperately seeking Adam as much!!

(I'll keep silicone in mind!!!!!)

[jeezifonly]

2 hours ago, Cure69 said:

Hahaha (I'm sorry this made me laugh so hard!)

I honestly wish I can buy a dildo, I just don't have a place to put it (Not sure if I mentioned it in my initial post but I am married and still live with my wife). That situation aside, though, I've "shopped" for dildos here in Chelsea, NY but never found them to be as interesting as the real thing. I do, though, wish I had one!!!! 😩😭 maybe I wouldn't be so desperately seeking Adam as much!!

(I'll keep silicone in mind!!!!!)

Yes, well. It is tricky to hide such interesting things from people in your home who would be unhappy to see them. You probably do have places, but you still think like a teenage boy. Think like a teenage girl, instead, cause they know how to stash some shit. 😛

Don’t worry, you’re bound to find the vers-top you need. Be honest about your newness to MM sex, and there are a number of men out there -pro and am - who will be good teachers for you!

Meanwhile…you’re certain your wife wouldn’t want to peg your ass…? Gotta ask that, when chatting with a bi married bottom-curious guy. Perhaps your living situation no longer includes sex. As she’s going to find out eventually (she may even accidentally introduce you to Adam), if you do still have sex with her, there’s tons of info out there about how to bring it up, pre-establish both of your boundaries, etc, plus info on positions, best harnesses and so on. She may love it, and it can be a path to further disclosure when that’s in front of you. Good luck!

Edited August 9, 2021 by jeezifonly

[Trick]

9 hours ago, FrankR said:

 

Communicate!  And keep a double headed dildo handy!  😉

 

This will take the Lady and the Tramp meme to a whole new level