A Poll - How 'connected' do you feel to the "LGBTQ+ Community"?

[Deadlift1]

I have a limited connection to the community besides a few good friends.  

[+ Pensant]

In my 30s I was out and about. Pride, Folsom Street, WeHo, the Boom in Laguna after a day at West St Beach. I haven’t been to a gay bar, except for the occasional strip club, in 20 years and never to a bath house. Even though I’m told I look good “for my age” the reality is that I’m too old for the party scene. The hobby is my outlet. Otherwise, my close friends and immediate family are the things that matter now.

[+ sniper]

I see far more bisexuals complaining about being erased than I see gay people denying they exist.  I don't deny that bisexuals exist, I just generally wouldn't pursue a relationship with one because the gravitational pull of societal heteronormativity is a strong detriment to a same-sex LTR when an opposite-sex one is an option for one of the partners.  Now that I'm older and past the age where we'd be talking about having kids, that is less of an obstacle.  But if I were 25 and met a 25-year old who told me he was bi, I'd probably not pursue an LTR with him unless I were really head over heels for him and he for me.

There certainly is a nonzero subset of gay people who use the bisexual identity as a stepping stone, but bisexuals, if decades of my observations in gym steamrooms are any indication, significantly outnumber gay people. 

 

[Blade9]

Not at all connected.

B

[Pd1_jap]

 

• Not Connected at All

I remember being 22 and going to waterworks in the upper east side of Manhattan where the restroom in the basement was essentially an orgy. Even being young and thin did not make me hot enough to be accepted by them. So even though I self identify as a gay man, I have very little to do with the community at large. There are too many clicks that I can't be a part of that it just makes me feel like I'm not included. And let's be honest with ourselves, most of us on here self exclude from many groups because they are demanding, bitchy and mean. 

[+ Lucky]

I am not queer and I am not LGBT+. So, totally unconnected to those communities. As for gay, that's me and I am proud of it. There was a time when I could have lots of sex, but age has taken care of that. It would have to be an awfully hot guy to get me to pay $300 for a good time. But, I do dream.

So, essentially, only lightly connected. Except for this site and gayguides.com

[Rod Hagen]

Very connected

I have a long term gay partner, that's reason 1.  I have sex with lots of nice guys, reason two.  I meet lots of gay guys.  I have long time relationships with lots of gay guys.  I have, and have always had, a build that  gets me attention, yes that's a shallow connection, but a connection.  I love gay literature, Gay Films, Gay Plays, Gay music of the 30s 70s 80s and 90s, and gays in athletics, particularly my athletics (Mountain Biking, Snowboarding, Climbing), I enjoy large gay gatherings such as the Gay Games and Gay Aspen. I love sex parties.  I've always been very interested in possible proximal and ultimate "causes" of homosexuality.  

As much as I love music, I've never liked dancing and that's something I've always felt is missing.  I don't feel particularly connected to young gays and the current gay culture, but that doesn't make me feel at all disconnected, just more connected to the past and my present.

Edited August 5, 2021 by Rod Hagen

[Epigonos]

Not Connected at All

 

 

 

It is totally of my own doing that I do not feel in the least bit connected to the greater gay alphabet soup community. The major reason I am not connected is simply, due to the fact that, that by nature, I’m not a joiner.  I am now and always have been WAY to independent to be an active member of any group. 

 

Both Jaker27 and Purplekow made comments that really struck home for me. Jaker27 wrote that “friends and family are my community now”. That statement has been true for me all my life.  Furthermore, most of those “friends” are straight. Purplekow’s wonderful comment about being connected for one week in April also resonated strongly with me. The extended Palm Springs Weekend is a highlight of my year. Getting together with old friends and meeting new ones and discussing our rather unusual hobby is great fun.

I am 80 years old and love the life I have now spent nearly a lifetime building.  I have never been interested in being a part of the great gay community and still am not. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by Epigonos

[Rod Hagen]

On 8/1/2021 at 4:23 PM, Pensant said:

the Boom in Laguna after a day at West St Beach. I haven’t been to a gay bar, except for the occasional strip club, in 20 years and never to a bath house. 

Did you ever play in the hotel behind Laguna's Boom Boom room?  That was KINDA like a bathhouse, at least "action" wise. :-)

[+ Pensant]

@Rod Hagen no, but I always enjoyed the beach down the steps. In the summer, we always danced shirtless, so you could see what you’d be getting later. I often wore short cutoff jeans and a pair of black Docs. That combo had some appeal! 

[Guest davebk]

Not connected at all. 
 

Part of it might be that I don’t have a particular desire to have a family of my own.  The people in my life (my own family, close friends, faith, interests) fill my life plenty and I haven’t felt the need for my sexuality to be what drives my own community.

In the last few years the over politicizing of the whole movement and the many things attached to it has left a very bad taste in my mouth and I don’t want anything to do with it.  

 

[rustyrex]

As Connected as I want to be.

I work in a field that has more than enough gay people that I interact with on a daily basis.  Everyday is Pride!!!!  As for the bars, clubs and neighborhoods, there are all basically gone.  Being gay is just that….being gay.  It’s easier to live your life than it was when I first came out and honestly it’s a breath of fresh air.  Hopefully that won’t change.  I do think the rise of social media and the cell phone has drastically changed the way we interact with each other, not necessarily for the better. 

 

 

[Cure69]

I don't feel connected at all, but ...

I do work in, and live near, Chelsea Manhattan (well-known gay community in NYC) and I love being here. I'm actually new to learning "who I am" and embracing my newly found identity.

Gay? Bi? I don't know. I'm still married to a wonderful wife, I love watching gay porn, and I'll take any safe chance I can get bottoming or providing the next good-looking man I can get my mouth on.

In a nutshell, I am who I am and I respect all identities. I just don't see myself as "connected" to any movement at all these days.