Looking for your thoughts ....

[AffectionateBear]

I wasn't sure which forum to put this, and opting here hoping to get feedback from both providers and clients.

It's been almost two decades since I've hired.  I used to post on here regularly in the Hooboy and Daddy days, so things have changed in many ways. Back in those days, I hired often rather than play the game hooking up with people.  I now find myself on a business trip far away from home and will have some 'mentertainment' tonight.  My partner and I have long held an understanding of whatever-happens-is-fine while traveling alone, but it's been a while for me.

I now find myself having some thoughts on what I'd like our time tonight to look like. The guy I found on rent.men ticks off all the things I find hot in a guy.  And while our texts have been fine, he hasn't encouraged a lot of communication before meeting.  And I get it, I'm sure providers get too many players out there getting off on texting and don't follow through. 

Before I get to my ultimate question, here are some of the things on my mind:

In addition to hiring back in the 'good ole days', I also was fond of visiting the Gaety in NYC or Atlantis in Baltimore.  In fact, visiting these strip clubs often led to my hiring.  Now that those places are closed, and having been in a relationship for many years, I find that I miss being flirted with and the thrill of meeting of meeting someone new.  (How shallow is that?)  As I've shared with some friends, the biggest downside to hiring in the past (which I also believe is similar to hooking up with many people while dating), is that once you settle down, it can eventually get to the point where you get a bit bored being with the same person. So what's the point of sharing this?  I think it would be hot if the guy was a bit more forward (or aggressive, for lack of a better word) in being flirtacious in their actions when we meet.

In the past, I would often spend the first hour simply talking with the guy ... when all I really wanted was for him to get undressed. I can be a chatty guy, but I am also a very visual and tactile guy, so I certainly wouldn't mind talking while also being able to enjoy looking and affectionately touching while we talked.  Part of my own 'hang up' on this is that I never wanted to disrespect the provider and treat him like a 'piece of meat'.  And yes, I know that ultimately I am doing that by paying him for his services.  So what's the point of sharing this?  I think it would be hot for the guy to not waste any time in taking off his shirt at the very least!

I could probably come up with a few other thoughts ... but I'll leave it at that.

As I see it, I have a couple options on how I should proceed in trying to have an enjoyable time tonight:

... I could say nothing / do nothing, and just meet the guy and go with the flow.

... I could muster the guts to be very upfront with the guy upon meeting and share some of what I'm hoping our time will be like.

... I could send him a text in advance telling him (as concise as possible) what I would find appealing for our time together.

... I could text and see if he's up for a 5-10 minute phone call prior to meeting to share some of these thoughts with him.

 

So ... what are your thoughts?  I'd appreciate hearing what you think.

[Jamie21]

If that’s what you want, ask him. If you go along hoping for it to happen you might be lucky but why not he sure and ask? I appreciate my clients being very clear about what they want. Sometimes they’ll give cues because perhaps they’re shy about asking or are unsure what they want. I think I’m experienced enough now to pick up on those cues and lead them where I think they want to go. 
What I’m saying is your provider will appreciate you asking direct or implying what you like because his desire is to please you and if he can do that he’ll be happy and so will you.

 

[liubit]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, @ChazA. I agree with the advice given by @Jamie21: communication is key. Communication, communication, communication. I would just add: do not overthink things, let it flow. Remember, this is supposed to be primarily fun. 

[arnie]

What you say want is pretty vanilla in terms of activities  You have not even talked about who(m?) is actually doing what to who.  So if you want to talk, when you meet him just say that is what you want to do.  " Hi, lets sit and talk for a while."   Then while chatting if you feel you want him undressed, then undress him. If you want him to undress himself tell him to take his shirt off.  Same about your getting undressed.   But if you want undressing tell him to be dressed.  That way he won't open the door in a jock.    Don't try to tell him too much before because you will never talk just how much you tell him to nor will he just take his shirt off just when you want him to.  Same goes for any other activity.  He will never do what you want when you want it without direction, could only be a hand on the back of the head, but you will need to guide the activities.  

You could describe the general tone of the get together.  Like I want to talk and cuddle a lot.  If you were interested you could say I want a lot of hot and heavy action and I want to.....  and/or be...... but probably need not go into more detail than that.   Then again if you do not say too much it will be easier to switch to plan B if on meeting you get different ideas as to what you want.  

What I got from a question I asked about being a piece of meat, the guys not only feel that is part of the job but I feel that part of it is that in some aspect that is what they want from you.  Everyone has an ego and they also want to feel desired and that they turn you on, that is why you chose them. 

Good luck on your adventure.   

[dbar123]

I think you are overthinking things. Sometimes it's just nice to have a stranger come in and let things flow organically and see how things lead.