Documentary Dilemma

[+ m_writer]

While I'm flattered they'd be interested, there are issues. First, some RuPaul drag queens come do a performance at the end of each segment where the subjects participate. A whole one-great-show-can-change-the-world sort of thing, I suppose. I don't think I could ever do that...ever. We actually have a drag community here, but it's averse to me. I've never even seen an episode of RuPaul's show and it makes me uncomfortable when I see clips, even. Secondly, I'm afraid while trying to portray us as some kind of community role model that the escorting thing comes to light...not necessarily in the documentary, but from the aftermath of it airing. We can be pretty mean to each other in our community and there's a huge stigma attached to hiring with some people. Maybe rightfully so, but still an issue.

 

Tyler and I are leaning towards saying no, but would love some thoughts from the thinkers on this page.

 

The bolded part already made me suspicious. Documentaries are supposed to be informative, not over-the-top or focus on being entertaining. Also given how you refused and the director is still pushing you both to be on the documentary as well as you both are having some misgivings are signs that you shouldn't do it.

 

Also, if you do the documentary, there is the chance that your family members will have exposure or be under more scrutiny. Sometimes anonymity or relative obscurity is the best gift you can have for a peaceful and content life, so personally, I wouldn't do it.

 

However, that's just my two cents. You sound like you both already made your decision.

[+ Reisr30]

Let me be blunt.....are you fucking nuts?

 

Fortunately, it sounds like you’ve already made the right decision.

 

Glad I could help.....grin

Love the bluntness

[+ Just Sayin]

@TylerandAce, please go with your instincts; I don't believe you'd like your lives scrutinized and your families subjected to the repercussions of that scrutiny; Mississippi is not LA or New York City, and although in my year at Ole Miss I met some wonderful progressives, that society is still in many ways agrarian in nature and not open-minded; no, Mississippi is not filled with haters, and I proudly wear my baseball cap from Square Books in Oxford to show that the state has, according to the Wall Street Journal, one of the ten best independent bookstores in the country!

[+ sniper]

Your livelihoods skirt the edge of legality and your local government is not exactly supportive. You have far more to lose than to gain. And this forced drag thing sounds ridiculous.

[+ sniper]

And frankly the producers are probably hoping for the series to cause drama in your lives because it's publicity for them. Hard pass.

[+ TylerandAce]

Love the bluntness

@TylerandAce, please go with your instincts; I don't believe you'd like your lives scrutinized and your families subjected to the repercussions of that scrutiny; Mississippi is not LA or New York City, and although in my year at Ole Miss I met some wonderful progressives, that society is still in many ways agrarian in nature and not open-minded; no, Mississippi is not filled with haters, and I proudly wear my baseball cap from Square Books in Oxford to show that the state has, according to the Wall Street Journal, one of the ten best independent bookstores in the country!

Yes, it does! My children are readers today because of Square Books! And thank you for the perspective. As much progress as has been made, we still try to fly under the radar as much as possible without purposefully bringing attention to ourselves or rubbing my fellow citizens’ noses in our happiness. I think the peace we’ve found is enough of a win in, and of, itself.

[+ TylerandAce]

Your livelihoods skirt the edge of legality and your local government is not exactly supportive. You have far more to lose than to gain. And this forced drag thing sounds ridiculous.

Yes, I like the way you think. Thank you. They kinda tried to psychoanalyze me about not wanting to do the drag part...even made me feel a little judged. Thanks for validating my feeling a little.

[+ TylerandAce]

And frankly the producers are probably hoping for the series to cause drama in your lives because it's publicity for them. Hard pass.

I’m sure you’re right

[Walker1]

You have kids -that changes a lot. Being gay is fine . My family has embraced it. But the escorting-legality and all- can cause problems. I am not open about my "hobby" nor would I want it broadcast all over the state where others see.

 

Now if you are open to everyone, that is fine-but people still get arrested in the bluest of states/cities for that. So just some caution-if you are planning on baring that portion.

 

I am not ashamed-I know plenty of people who married for money or looks or lust -but it is what it is. I wish more of us would organize and try and legalize it though-I just don't know how.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Don't do it.

 

Sure, it's an ego stroke and you might initially think it's a positive thing, but trust me... It's the kind of exposure you don't need or want. I've turned down multiple offers for tell-all books, interviews and reality shows, all because I know it would compromise a major part of my life.

 

Unless you get final edit approval (which is highly unlikely), this is a bad idea.

 

Never let anyone own your image or your story.

 

 

PS: Clearly, you've already made the right decision

[rvwnsd]

This has "bad idea" printed all over it and I am glad you have decided not to participate. This smacks of reality TV, not a documentary.

[+ azdr0710]

My quick observation is that the way the episode is edited, specifically, could be embarrassing and make you two look bad. The HBO premise is clever, but this may not have any good results for the two of you....or even Tupelo.

[+ LS299B]

Ace, you demonstrate powerful trust to ask this community for our thoughts. That speaks volumes about you; your willingness to be vulnerable to feedback, and the humility to admit uncertainty.

 

My advice is to reflect on questions (in a spirit of genuine curiosity) and pay attention to your inner dispositions as you ask: What do you want to be known for? What legacy do you want to leave behind for yourself and your loved ones? How will this documentary enhance or detract from that? Were you to do the Documentary, in hindsight what might you regret? Were you to decline doing the Documentary, what relief do you experience? Lastly, throughout this decision making process, what insights have you gained about yourself? Savor this experience. Thanks for asking.

[Guest]

Block the producer’s phone number and don’t look back.

The producer does not have your best interests in mind.

[Wanderoz]

Believe me. The producers have only their own interest and profits in mind.

Why turn what you describe as a good life into a reality show? Have any of the people in those type shows ever gone on to have good lives?

[Jomo]

I see absolutely zero upside in doing this, and a plethora of unintended negative consequences in doing this.

[+ TylerandAce]

You have kids -that changes a lot. Being gay is fine . My family has embraced it. But the escorting-legality and all- can cause problems. I am not open about my "hobby" nor would I want it broadcast all over the state where others see.

 

Now if you are open to everyone, that is fine-but people still get arrested in the bluest of states/cities for that. So just some caution-if you are planning on baring that portion.

 

I am not ashamed-I know plenty of people who married for money or looks or lust -but it is what it is. I wish more of us would organize and try and legalize it though-I just don't know how.

God no! We'd never openly talk about that. And my kid are adults now, but I want to remain close to them, obviously. I think it probably wouldn't surprise them at all, but it's a can of worms I'd rather stay closed.

[+ TylerandAce]

Don't do it.

 

Sure, it's an ego stroke and you might initially think it's a positive thing, but trust me... It's the kind of exposure you don't need or want. I've turned down multiple offers for tell-all books, interviews and reality shows, all because I know it would compromise a major part of my life.

 

Unless you get final edit approval (which is highly unlikely), this is a bad idea.

 

Never let anyone own your image or your story.

 

 

PS: Clearly, you've already made the right decision

Thanks for the perspective, and definitely agree with your points

[+ TylerandAce]

My quick observation is that the way the episode is edited, specifically, could be embarrassing and make you two look bad. The HBO premise is clever, but this may not have any good results for the two of you....or even Tupelo.

Agree for sure. Probably way more negatives.

[+ TylerandAce]

Ace, you demonstrate powerful trust to ask this community for our thoughts. That speaks volumes about you; your willingness to be vulnerable to feedback, and the humility to admit uncertainty.

 

My advice is to reflect on questions (in a spirit of genuine curiosity) and pay attention to your inner dispositions as you ask: What do you want to be known for? What legacy do you want to leave behind for yourself and your loved ones? How will this documentary enhance or detract from that? Were you to do the Documentary, in hindsight what might you regret? Were you to decline doing the Documentary, what relief do you experience? Lastly, throughout this decision making process, what insights have you gained about yourself? Savor this experience. Thanks for asking.

Thanks for that. The wisdom on this board has guided me for more than a decade now. It is definitely valued. I've decided that the enhancements from participating in this will not outpace the detractions. There's a lot of danger to our peacefulness. And even though the kids are basically adults now, I still think harm could be done there if it's not executed properly. As for learning, I guess I didn't realize the amount of dislike I have for drag....not the community itself, but the format.

[+ TylerandAce]

Block the producer’s phone number and don’t look back.

The producer does not have your best interests in mind.

Believe me. The producers have only their own interest and profits in mind.

Why turn what you describe as a good life into a reality show? Have any of the people in those type shows ever gone on to have good lives?

I see absolutely zero upside in doing this, and a plethora of unintended negative consequences in doing this.

Thanks fellas. I like the voice in unison. Agree !

[+ sniper]

God no! We'd never openly talk about that. And my kid are adults now, but I want to remain close to them, obviously. I think it probably wouldn't surprise them at all, but it's a can of worms I'd rather stay closed.

You'd never bring it up, but the producers would damn sure make sure it came up. I assure you they know about it even if they're not telling you now.

[+ WilliamM]

Some years ago I hired a Falcon Studios guy much in the news. I was contacted by PM here by a seemingly interested member. Actually, he was a journalist. He let me edit his articles about the guy.

 

You have options beside just no and yes.

[+ TylerandAce]

You'd never bring it up, but the producers would damn sure make sure it came up. I assure you they know about it even if they're not telling you now.

I would think they’ve done their homework, so yes. Another reason to steer clear

[+ TylerandAce]

Some years ago I hired a Falcon Studios guy much in the news. I was contacted by PM here by a seemingly interested member. Actually, he was a journalist. He let me edit his articles about the guy.

 

You have options beside just no and yes.

Maybe so. I can always ask, for sure