Life after sex

[+ Charlie]

From about age 13 to 40, I was a certifiable sex addict. My life revolved around having sex, looking for sex and thinking about sex. From 40 to 60, circumstances caused my sexual activity to tail off dramatically, but I still would have liked to have it frequently. In recent years, however, sex seems almost as firmly lodged in my past as watching fresh episodes of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," a topic for nostalgic reminiscence rather than an integral part of my current life. Other interests seem more central to my existence now.

 

I'm sure I'm not the only person on the board to experience this change, and I'm curious: what activities or interests have replaced sex, or what ones do you think will replace sex, as the most stimulating form of recreation in your life as the sex drive falters?

[Guest ncm2169]

Well, I don't know your age, but I'm well into "advanced middle age" (read: pushing out of my 50's quickly), and I find my sex drive is as strong as ever. Perhaps that is because, after several years of being in a "family situation," I now have the freedom to have "guests." :9 There are any number of younger guys who post on CL looking for hookups with older guys. :9

 

Plus, the fact that I happen to live with one of the hottest escorts around, (IMHO, of course ) (and we do play - freebies only, thank you) and he exudes sexuality around our household 24/7, it's hard not to be hard ... umm ... if you get my drift.

 

And, just to reiterate what I've said before about my current situation - I in NO WAY mean to brag or try to impress anyone. I am the most average guy you could imagine - NO ONE would ever hit on me in a club - NEVER! Someone and I just happened to have discovered each other and forged a link - not romantic, and DEFINITELY not a sugar daddy deal - just very close buddies, and we give each other what we each need at this time in our lives. It's the most magical odyssey of my life and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. :7

 

Even more than you, Lucky! :D

[Guest ncm2169]

PS Charlie. Do you ever still wake up with a hardon? }(

 

If so, life goes on. It's not about vintages. It's about lust. Just ask Charlie Chaplin (well, if you could, but you get my drift - Oona's been gone for a while, but still, to be fathering at 78? ). }( }(

 

Not my desired world, but history tells us it's possible. }(

 

Whatever your desired world, I hope it's as fascinating and challenging as mine - DJ keeps me young and active. His friends are my friends. Some may wonder about us -- umm my family and kids perbaps, but what the fuck? It's the fuckin 21st Century. If we Baby Boomers can't live it up now, when does it start? }(

[Rick Munroe]

>I happen to live with one of the hottest

>escorts around... and he exudes sexuality around our

>household 24/7

 

Same here! }( (But sometimes I do have to say things like, "Couldja quit waving that dick in my face until after I finish my Grape Nuts and bananas?" I mean, I know I'm a good cocksucker but I do need breakfast, too.)

[Guest ncm2169]

There are those who get to crow about it, and there are those who have to eat crow. Enjoy! }(

[Louis]

"Same here! (But sometimes I do have to say things like, "Couldja quit waving that dick in my face until after I finish my Grape Nuts and bananas?" I mean, I know I'm a good cocksucker but I do need breakfast, too.)"

 

But Rick, when suck Derek, you are getting grape nuts, a banana, and cream...:-)

[Guest josephga]

I cant really say i have a high sex drive. If im in a relationship i could do it every single day. but when im single its like out of sight out of mind. its been over two years since i had sex last and at the moment i dont really miss it..

[+ Lucky]

We already know that everybody is different and that no rules can be applied across the board. Some have sex to the last, others gradually lose interest or opportunity.

 

Some might suggest that a relatively young person (in his sixties) who loses interest in sex should be checked for low testosterone levels or depression. But if the person is content in his lack of interest, why bother finding out the reason?

 

As for me, when I think I don't need sex, I have it, and then I am reminded as to how much I like it!

[Guest ncm2169]

Charlie, I've been remonstrated and admonished (those are compatible, aren't they - thesaurus.com where art thou?) by a well-known poster who I respect very much that I unintentionally interrupted your thread with my own personal situation.

 

I assure you, I meant no such thing and I apologize if that happened.

 

Just trying to be a good citizen here. }(

[Louis]

Well for me its been 2 1/2 years since I had anal. I did have a nice bit of fun with the man that gave me the massage in Toronto this summer. He gave me a blow job.

My my sex life has been a famine of Biblical proportions.

I guess what I really like is to just cuddle up next to a person, and play around for an extended period of time, and then let things evolve into sex. Its hard to find escorts that are into that sort of thing.

Sex is still fun, but to me a lot of the fun is working to the point where sex is going to happen.

[Guest zipperzone]

>"Same here! (But sometimes I do have to say things like,

>"Couldja quit waving that dick in my face until after I finish

>my Grape Nuts and bananas?" I mean, I know I'm a good

>cocksucker but I do need breakfast, too.)"

>

>But Rick, when suck Derek, you are getting grape nuts, a

>banana, and cream...:-)

>

 

G R O A N

[Guest zipperzone]

>Sex is still fun, but to me a lot of the fun is working to the

>point where sex is going to happen.

 

It's called foreplay, honey.

[Bob]

Charlie, I realize some may pity you in that you no longer seem to have sexual pleasure as a large part of your life. However, in some ways I envy you. All my life I have wasted much of my time and energy thinking about and pursuing sexual gratification. I'm now in my late sixites and it just won't stop. While it's no longer a daily thing I still seem to need release two or three times a week. At my stage in life it is nearly impossible to find a willing partner so I survive mainly by masturbation. And an occasional escort. Thank God for this site.

[twinkboylover28]

>>At my stage in life it is nearly impossible to find a willing partner so I survive mainly by masturbation. And an occasional escort.>>

 

 

Bob, you just described my life! LOL

 

I'm only 33-years-old (however nothing has changed since I reached puberty).

[Guest zipperzone]

>At my stage in life it is

>nearly impossible to find a willing partner

 

Bob - you're dead wrong here. There are many men out there in similar circumstances to yours who are looking for a partner. Never give up the search. You may have to focus on slightly different attributes than what you are currently seeking, but I truly do believe that there is someone for everyone, if you just let yourself be accepting.

[Guest josephga]

I havent had sex by choice. I made the personally choice years ago that i wouldnt have sex unless in a relationship. The last relationship i had was a little over 2 years ago. I had colon cancer at the time and had to do the whole chemo thing. even though i pretty much had sex anytime my partner wanted. even on those days of being sick from the chemo he still cheated. i havent dated since..

[bernardfff]

Me TOO

[+ Lucky]

So, given some of the responses here, we may not all be talking about the same thing. The OP discusses his lack of interest in sex after turning 60, others describe the unavailability of willling partners, which, as someone else points out, depends on what you call willing. We could all have sex with somebody, but for this thing called attraction.

 

The OP apparently doesn't want sex, period. Attracted or not. Is this because he is over 60 and the juices just don't flow like they used to? Do all old men (at least over 60) pass into some range of undesirability, and thus have to pay for it? Or do we spoil ourselves so much in hiring attractive escorts that we can't (or won't) accept someone less attractive who comes along for free?

[Louis]

I would not mind hopping in the sack with someone who is not an escort, however they would have to be around my size. I am very uncomfortable being in bed with guys bigger than myself, even if they are escorts.

[Guest ncm2169]

Louis, are you trying to entice us with the size of your cock? }(

 

If so, try getting listed as an escort on M4RN. Seems "old guys"/Daddys are the newest hot commodity there.

 

Also, to be serious, if you cruise CL, there are a LOT of 20-somethings who want "Daddy Dick." Now, will they pay for it?? But hey, you could find a Trust Fund Baby who wants a Sex Daddy to fly you into Palm Springs for a romp and end up making a fortune off of him.

 

Stranger things have happened. Just ask me. :9

[Louis]

While its true I have recieved many compliments about my cock, it not because of its size:-(

Yup rent myself out, to some young guys who want a daddy. Have them fly up here, and then take them back into the bush and show them the "wood"..:-)

[Guest ncm2169]

< then take them back into the bush and show them the "wood".

 

This is not a proposition, either direct or indirect, but I believe I have someone who may meet your needs. :9 (And, no, it's not me).

[buzz]

As a horny gay guy now getting very close to 70, I find sex is still wonderful. Very different from what it was when I was in my teens and 20s, but still truly fulfilling. Because of health problems, which are more a nuisance than a serious impediment to good sex, I have been enjoying almost total erectile dysfunction for several years. Fortunately I have been totally bottom for many years and I find that being able to concentrate on bottoming for an anal top gives me more sexual satisfaction than I have ever experienced. Also, though I hire from time to time, I have also found a fantastic number of hot young men who ONLY want to have sex with older men. The other night (not making this up, guys) I was aggressively, and most delightfully, cruised by a very hot man who turned out to be 40 years younger than I. I think of myself as a chubby old troll but I was exactly what he wanted. He is a very grounded person, well into what will most likely be a successful career, but with talents and interests that are more sophisticated and mature than men his age or older. He is only turned on by men 65 or older, and I have been amazed at how many men there are like that. I have a 93-year-old friend who still enjoys an occasional fling with men who could be his great=grandchildren! He tells me they come after him.

 

Apparently there are no rules about age in sex. As one friend puts it == There is a tongue for every flavor of ice cream.

 

buzz

:9 :*

[+ Charlie]

Lucky has distorted my position: of course I still enjoy sex on the rare occasions when it occurs, and I am still attracted every day to hot guys (my definition of hot has always been exceptionally inclusive in terms of age, physical attributes and personalities). My point was that sex is no longer the major interest or strong motivator for me, as it used to be; i.e., given the choice between sex with an escort or playing an interesting tennis match, nowadays I would probably opt to play tennis. My original question was: what interests or activities have superseded sex as a prime satisfier for other posters of my age?

[+ Lucky]

...and you didn't really get any answers, did you? I think that's because no one wants to contemplate the day when they will prefer tennis over sex!