Escort Etiquette

[MiamiLooker]

>If you intend to have safer sex and show up unarmed, you

>deserve whatever you get.

>

 

Would you care to elaborate on this statement? Perhaps you didn't mean it to come across as it does?

[+ deej]

>

>>If you intend to have safer sex and show up unarmed, you

>>deserve whatever you get.

>>

>

>Would you care to elaborate on this statement? Perhaps you

>didn't mean it to come across as it does?

 

Since I have no way of knowing what you may be reading into it, let me explain. This applies to both escorts and clients, as well as bathhouse hookups and club tricks.

 

YOU must take personal responsibility for YOUR sexual health. YOU cannot leave it to chance or rely on others to take care of YOU. IF YOU expect to have safer sex, it is incumbent on YOU to make sure supplies are available.

 

If you show up to play unsupplied, it is quite clear that YOU don't consider safer sex a requirement. If you did require it, you would bring supplies.

 

There are exceptions to every rule of course, but this situation boils down to personal responsibility.

[MiamiLooker]

>>

>>>If you intend to have safer sex and show up unarmed, you

>>>deserve whatever you get.

>>>

>>

>>Would you care to elaborate on this statement? Perhaps you

>>didn't mean it to come across as it does?

>

>Since I have no way of knowing what you may be reading into

>it, let me explain. This applies to both escorts and clients,

>as well as bathhouse hookups and club tricks.

>

>YOU must take personal responsibility for YOUR sexual health.

>YOU cannot leave it to chance or rely on others to take care

>of YOU. IF YOU expect to have safer sex, it is incumbent on

>YOU to make sure supplies are available.

>

>If you show up to play unsupplied, it is quite clear that YOU

>don't consider safer sex a requirement. If you did require it,

>you would bring supplies.

>

>There are exceptions to every rule of course, but this

>situation boils down to personal responsibility.

 

Even one who doesn't take the precautions you suggest doesn't deserve to get a deadly disease.

[Epigonos]

MiamiLooker you are certainly correct that virtually NO ONE deserves a deadly disease and that most assuredly includes AIDS. However, for those of us who had wonderful friends who died having contracted AIDS in the early days of the epidemic when the cause was unknown it is difficult to feel the same sorrow for those contracting it today. There is no excuse for contracting AIDS, in this country, today other than a refusal to take the necessary precautions. I agree that everybody has a right to behave as they wish BUT I’ll be damned if I’ll weep for them when they have to pay for the consequences of their actions. Had my dead friends had the information that is available today most would still be alive.

[KMEM]

Amen. And/or to make our agnostic/atheistic posters happy: Right on!

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Guest josephga]

I agree. this is 2007 not 1987

[+ purplekow]

>MiamiLooker you are certainly correct that virtually NO ONE

>deserves a deadly disease and that most assuredly includes

>AIDS. However, for those of us who had wonderful friends who

>died having contracted AIDS in the early days of the epidemic

>when the cause was unknown it is difficult to feel the same

>sorrow for those contracting it today. There is no excuse for

>contracting AIDS, in this country, today other than a refusal

>to take the necessary precautions. I agree that everybody has

>a right to behave as they wish BUT I’ll be damned if I’ll weep

>for them when they have to pay for the consequences of their

>actions. Had my dead friends had the information that is

>available today most would still be alive.

 

 

I lived and worked on the frontlines of the AIDs epidemic in the late 70's and early 80's. I have seen more beautiful young men become unrecognizable as they withered and died, than I care to recall. Much progress has been made in the treatment of this scurge. Understanding and limiting the spread through safer sex practices and blood screening have been a mainstays of the battle. We must not lose sight of that.

 

My dealings with people with AIDs is limited now, but there is one thing that was true in 1982 and it is true now, most people with AIDs don't want your tears and none of them want your judgment.

 

So Epigonos, educate those you can and certainly remember your friends with compassion and love and out of courtesy to those still fighting the battle, save the judgmental "you should have known better".

[alanalt]

Depends on what you mean by 'deserve', but every action/decision one takes has consequences. You may think the consequences are unfair or too extreme but your thinking so doesn't mean that they aren't there. Anyone who chooses to have unsafe sex should damn well know that they're gambling with their life and if they don't like the stake, they don't have to play the game. Enough truly bad things happen to people who don't play in the traffic for me to get all worked up about what happens to the people who do.

[OneFinger]

>...every action/decision one takes has consequences.

 

You've hit the nail on the head with that statement. I'm in total agreement that engaging in safer sex is the responsibility of both the escort and the client. And, sexual activity without a raincoat has some of the worst potential consequences.

 

In Johann's detailed list he gave an argument I hadn't considered about escorts not wanting to be "caught" with condemns. Sorta like a drug user being caught with paraphernalia.

 

So, I think it's a valid point that the client should always be prepared. In addition, not sure if everyone realizes that condoms don't last forever. The ones I use have an expiration date printed on them.

 

When hiring your favorite guy be sure to confirm the date for the date and the date for your condoms. ;-)

[+ purplekow]

> Enough truly bad things happen to

>people who don't play in the traffic for me to get all worked

>up about what happens to the people who do.

 

In 1980, when AIDs was thought to be the "queer cancer" people pointed fingers at the gay community and many said it was deserved. It wasn't.

Now on this blog, people point fingers at those who engage in unsafe sexual practices and are saying it is deserved. It isn't.

I don't condone unsafe sexual practices. Clearly, by posts here and from listening to people everywhere, many people are confused as to what is safer and what is not. Some people make bad decisions and it impacts the rest of their lives. Some people make bad decisions and get to breath a sigh of relief. If you haven't been celibate, you have taken a risk. Be grateful for your sigh of relief and support those who did not get that gift.

 

I have never seen a purplekow;

I never hope to see one;

I can tell you anyhow;

I'd rather see than be one

 

Help there is a purplekow in my mirror

[KMEM]

Purple,

 

I am not trying to be contentious but I would like to understand your point a little better. Are there any activities that people participate in where they should take responsiblity for their actions? Speeding just a little bit under many conditions isn't very dangerous but if you get a ticket, is it your fault? If you have an accident while speeding, is the level of your fault raised just a little bit?

 

I agree with you in not condoning unsafe sex and no doubt each and every one of us should indeed give a sigh of relief if they have no disease now or never have had one. However, when you speed, the more often you do it and the faster you go, the more likely you are to have a ticket or an accident. Most likely the same would be true of unsafe sex, the more often you do it and the less safe it is, the more likely you are to acquire some disease or other.

 

As I think you may be expousing, AIDS is not a gay disease and neither is unsafe sex only practiced in the gay community. Nonetheless, as stated by many here and elsewhere, it is one that we are all too familiar with and not something to be taken lightly.

 

Best regards,

 

KMEM

[+ deej]

>Even one who doesn't take the precautions you suggest doesn't

>deserve to get a deadly disease.

 

Oh, THAT's what you thought I said. Thanks for finally telling me! ;-)

 

Sorry. What I meant was that someone who does not come to the encounter prepared deserves to have a sub-par encounter, and judging from comments in reviews over the years they likely will.

 

Clients are just as responsible for making the encounter enjoyable as the escort is. And that includes all the supplies.

[+ purplekow]

>Purple,

>

>I am not trying to be contentious but I would like to

>understand your point a little better. Are there any

>activities that people participate in where they should take

>responsiblity for their actions? Speeding just a little bit

>under many conditions isn't very dangerous but if you get a

>ticket, is it your fault? If you have an accident while

>speeding, is the level of your fault raised just a little

>bit?

>

I am not sure what I have said to make you think I don't believe people are responsible for their actions. My contention is that dismissing people as deserving of HIV even if they have participated in unsafe sexual practices is judgmental and isolates a segment of the population that needs support. It doesn't absolve them from having responsibility for their actions, but it shouldn't condemn them to being considered lesser human beings unworthy of our compassion. "BUT I’ll be damned if I’ll weep for them when they have to pay for the consequences of their actions." is the statement which troubled me in the post that lead to this discussion.

 

 

As to the speeding, I would not expect anyone to say, well you were drunk and going 10 miles over the limit, you deserve to have you leg amputated. I think most would consider that unnecessarily cruel and crude.

 

>As I think you may be expousing, AIDS is not a gay disease and

>neither is unsafe sex only practiced in the gay community.

>Nonetheless, as stated by many here and elsewhere, it is one

>that we are all too familiar with and not something to be

>taken lightly.

>

I agree with you. Also, unsafe sex is not the only risk factor for HIV. And as importantly, safer sex practices are just that, safer but not 100% effective. "Ask not for whom the bell tolls..."

[KMEM]

Purple,

Thanks for the reply. Let's see if I get it:

 

You know you shouldn't have done it. I know you shouldn't have done it. But, I care what happens to you regardless. And, that would apply whether you became infected, were in jail or dead.

 

Family and close friends might get in line for this; some others might not.

 

What if, while DUI, you killed someone? Do you think some might get out of that line? Obviously, some would and some wouldn't.

 

Just food for thought.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Epigonos]

I must admit that I’m getting extremely weary of being told, over and over again, that I should not be judgmental. As far as I’m concerned as a thinking human being I have a responsibility to be judgmental. Being judgmental is NOT a sin it is the responsibility of all intelligent, thinking citizens in a democracy.

 

Take for example the following judgmental statements: Considering the available information on Iraq President George W. Bush was a FOOL for invading that country at that time -- THAT IS A JUDGMENTAL STATEMENT with which many would agree. Considering the information available on Norman Hsu Senator Hilary Clinton’s campaign officials and indirectly the Senator herself were FOOLS for accepting the huge donations he bundled for the campaign -- THAT IS A JUDGMENTAL STATEMENT with which many would agree. California Legislators from both political parties by refusing to allow an impartial committee to draws up State Assembly, State Senate, and Congressional Districts are FOOLS and only interested in preserving their own selfish self interests – THAT IS A JUDGMENTAL STATEMENT with which many would agree. Members of the religious right who what to outlaw abortion, and vilify gays are FOOLS -- THAT IS A JUDGMENTAL STATEMENT with which many members of this board, in particular, would agree. And finally those who, in this day and age, practice unsafe sex and contract AIDS are FOOLS – THAT IS A JUDGMENTAL STATEMENT with which many would agree. I would certainly agree that all of these people had and have the RIGHT to do what they have done or are still doing but as far as I’m concerned that right doesn’t make any of them less foolish.

 

Additionally I am fucking tired of people accusing others, myself included, of being judgmental when what they really mean is they don’t agree with that judgment HOWEVER, many of these same people are perfectly willing to make JUDGMENTAL STATEMENTS of their own and of course that is just fine – BULL SHIT!!!!!

 

Sorry for the diabribe guys. Come and get me.

 

P.S. Please do understand that I sincerely believe that anybody and everybody has a right to disagree with me on any or all of the above judgmental statements and I respect their right to do so. I do, however, believe that those who do disagree with me are all foolish fool and therefore they certainly have the right to believe that I am an arrogant judmental ass.

[KMEM]

Yes, this is just another way of saying indeed we are prejudiced. Of course we are, either for or against. As you say, it is necessary to have this as a principle for any thinking person. The natural result of being judgemental.

 

Another cliche of which I grow tired is, "I am impressed". According to me that could be either favorably or unfavorably. All it really means is something or some thought has pushed me off neutral, not, as is apparently the wide spread current thought meaning of, being favorably inclined.

 

Same with famous and notorious. One means well known and the other means well known for bad things or so I think. Language and mores evolve, don't they?

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Guest zipperzone]

>Additionally I am fucking tired of people accusing others,

>myself included, of being judgmental when what they really

>mean is they don’t agree with that judgment HOWEVER, many of

>these same people are perfectly willing to make JUDGMENTAL

>STATEMENTS of their own and of course that is just fine – BULL

>SHIT!!

 

Have you evern noticed that the people who call you (or me, or anyone) judgmentsal, only do so when you are commenting on someone/thing in a negative way. If you say a positive comment, then they do not accuse you of being judgmental.

 

Isn't that wierd? If you assessment is positive, it's still a judgment call - it just doesn't seem to piss them off as much.

 

If we lived in a society where no one made judgments about anything ot anyone, we would all be a bunch zombies.