The only disability in life is a bad attitude

[jjkrkwood]

I wasn’t referring to your family.. I was referring to peers... other gay white men.

Yes I understood your comment that's why I answered: it has always been afirmative, as well with my family, meaning reactions in all white enviorns INCLUDING my family......

[jjkrkwood]

While we have focused on primarily male/male interaction, now lets take a WHITE hetero male or female..... If they choose to exclusively date and then marry a white partner , are THEY racist ?

[Monarchy79]

While we have focused on primarily male/male interaction, now lets take a WHITE hetero male or female..... If they choose to exclusively date and then marry a white partner , are THEY racist ?

 

 

That’s an excellent trick question... ??

 

That’s also quite complex...

 

The reason why the focus here is on male to male interaction is because:

1.) this forum typically focuses on that.

2.) the OP was expressing this experiences with men, primarily of the homosexual persuasion, and

3.) it’s a topic that brings such gasps, because it’s so blatantly hipocritical. One always wonders how a group that pounds to death to the masses, the issue of discrimination and rights, yet in turn, marginalized and discriminates against sub-segments, within their own group.

Edited September 19, 2019 by Monarchy79

[Monarchy79]

I think in gay culture, its the white man that covets the black man.

 

This is very true... to go further, I’ll say that the white man not only covets the black man, but all “other” men... the white man also decides and sets the tone for what’s “acceptable”, “attractive”, and “preferred”... This is why these “preferences are not to be taken lightly...

 

Let’s go a bit further...

 

I remember about 20 years ago, red heads were not deemed to be “sexy”, in gay white world... it was all about the blondes.. but once the mysterious demagogues of gay white world, suddenly decided that redheads are now “gingers”, and are “hot”, everyone followed suit, and now an original redhead is highly desired, freckles and all.

 

What makes this power dangerous, is that it’s infectious...

 

Just as in the fashion industry, it is stated that trends and what we claim we prefer is already decided for us and influenced by leaders in marketing and advertising... the same can be said of these “A-list-white guys”, who the rest of gay world worship and follow their lead...

 

Trust me, the day when those guys have black men on their arms as husbands and significant others, and social media portrays them the same way they portray gay white men, these so called “preferences”, will magically change.

Edited September 19, 2019 by Monarchy79

[+ Charlie]

"Gays" are no more monolithic in their preferences and prejudices than any other social group. That's why it is always a mistake to assume that just because a man wants to have sex with other men, he will think, feel and act the same as every other man who has the same desire. The "gay community" is a convenient categorical construct, not an objective entity.

[jjkrkwood]

This is very true... to go further, I’ll say that the white man not only covets the black man, but all “other” men... the white man also decides and sets the tone for what’s “acceptable”, “attractive”, and “preferred”... This is why these “preferences are not to be taken lightly...

 

Let’s go a bit further...

 

I remember about 20 years ago, red heads were not deemed to be “sexy”, in gay white world... it was all about the blondes.. but once the mysterious demagogues of gay white world, suddenly decided that redheads are now “gingers”, and are “hot”, everyone followed suit, and now an original redhead is highly desired, freckles and all.

 

What makes this power dangerous, is that it’s infectious...

 

Just as in the fashion industry, it is stated that trends and what we claim we prefer is already decided for us and influenced by leaders in marketing and advertising... the same can be said of these “A-list-white guys”, who the rest of gay world worship and follow their lead...

 

Trust me, the day when those guys have black men on their arms as husbands and significant others, and social media portrays them the same way they portray gay white men, these so called “preferences”, will magically change.

 

Perhaps then there should be more "black influencers" on the web ? Currently most, and the most popular seem to be white. not sure why more blacks do not take this path ? And it is those white influencers that are driving youth culture and molding their "preferences"... That's todays world.

[jjkrkwood]

That’s an excellent trick question... ??

 

That’s also quite complex...

 

The reason why the focus here is on male to male interaction is because:

1.) this forum typically focuses on that.

2.) the OP was expressing this experiences with men, primarily of the homosexual persuasion, and

3.) it’s a topic that brings such gasps, because it’s so blatantly hipocritical. One always wonders how a group that pounds to death to the masses, the issue of discrimination and rights, yet in turn, marginalized and discriminates against sub-segments, within their own group.

I certainly understand ALL that, but the conversation was getting so intense I felt the scope needed to be broadened to really TEST the points and assumptions raised.

[Monarchy79]

I certainly understand ALL that, but the conversation was getting so intense I felt the scope needed to be broadened to really TEST the points and assumptions raised.

 

I understand, but broadening the scope will actually prove to be inffective in getting to the root of the issue.......is your intent to get better insight on this issue? Or to throw somewhat of a really good monkey wrench in this to say that.... “well you must either call all straight and gay people racist for their dating preferences, or you must say that they are all not.” If that’s the case, that was an excellent caveat to throw in (seriously, you have excellent debating tactics, and I love it).

 

 

However, keep in mind that white, heterosexual, relationships are the idealized “standard”, of American relationships... from the figurines that are placed on top of wedding cakes to the “leave it to beaver”, images...even when gays do marry, the structure of their relationship, is built on the same principles and ideals of a straight, white marriage.

 

My point in this is that, since white heterosexual relationships are the ideal and the “norm”, it’s not as easy to say that they are racist for not dating/marrying outside of their race as a whole.

Edited September 19, 2019 by Monarchy79

[Monarchy79]

Perhaps then there should be more "black influencers" on the web ? Currently most, and the most popular seem to be white. not sure why more blacks do not take this path ? And it is those white influencers that are driving youth culture and molding their "preferences"... That's todays world.

 

It’s not to say that blacks haven’t taken this path..

White gay influencers, get more backing, more promotion, and more avenues for growth... why?

1.) the gay population of majority white (and as people support thisenin their likeness (or dreams), the white gay influencers get a bit more support, and visibility

 

2.) because of #1.) white influencers get more partnerships, and endorsements.

 

So just like in straight world, the odds are already stacked against minority influencers, because the playing field isn’t even to begin with.

[Monarchy79]

Perhaps then there should be more "black influencers" on the web ? Currently most, and the most popular seem to be white. not sure why more blacks do not take this path ? And it is those white influencers that are driving youth culture and molding their "preferences"... That's todays world.

 

And it’s difficult to influence, if you’re not considered to be the “status quo”, from the beginning....

[jjkrkwood]

To address white male/female Herero

 

 

I understand, but broadening the scope will actually prove to be inffective in getting to the root of the issue.......is your intent to get better insight on this issue? Or to throw somewhat of a really good monkey wrench in this to say that.... “well you must either call all straight and gay people racist for their dating preferences, or you must say that they are all not.” If that’s the case, that was an excellent caveat to throw in (seriously, you have excellent debating tactics, and I love it).

 

 

However, keep in mind that white, heterosexual, relationships are the idealized “standard”, of American relationships... from the figurines that are placed on top of wedding cakes to the “leave it to beaver”, images...even when gays do marry, the structure of their relationship, is built on the same principles and ideals of a straight, white marriage.

 

My point in this is that, since white heterosexual relationships are the ideal and the “norm”, it’s not as easy to say that they are racist for not dating/marrying outside of their race as a whole.

 

 

Racism is racism, and you cant cherry-pick the situations in which you employ the term, whether things are the NORM or they aren't....although that is what is being done here. I of course agree this whole debate is complicated, both sides coming to the table with valid points, but like in the Dem debates recently, everyone might be focusing on the Same destinations but from different roads.. Perhaps you and I need to meet, have a drink , some wings and dissect this some more ?

[Monarchy79]

Racism is racism, and you cant cherry-pick the situations in which you employ the term, whether things are the NORM or they aren't....although that is what is being done here. I of course agree this whole debate is complicated, both sides coming to the table with valid points, but like in the Dem debates recently, everyone might be focusing on the Same destinations but from different roads.. Perhaps you and I need to meet, have a drink , some wings and dissect this some more ?

 

But isn’t “cherry picking”, what’s taking place, when people soften their prejudices, by rebranding them as “preferences”? ???

[jjkrkwood]

And it’s difficult to influence, if you’re not considered to be the “status quo”, from the beginning....

 

Perhaps, but there is a vast Black market they can "influence", and many wealthy black backers who could help them. Or is "influencing" simply consider a white thing in todays culture ? See what i mean, everything is boiling down to white thing/ black thing, and this is where the divide comes in.

[Monarchy79]

Racism is racism, and you cant cherry-pick the situations in which you employ the term, whether things are the NORM or they aren't....although that is what is being done here. I of course agree this whole debate is complicated, both sides coming to the table with valid points, but like in the Dem debates recently, everyone might be focusing on the Same destinations but from different roads.. Perhaps you and I need to meet, have a drink , some wings and dissect this some more ?

 

 

And a drink would be great.... minus the wings (I’ve never been a fan of wings) ..... lol

[jjkrkwood]

But isn’t “cherry picking”, what’s taking place, when people soften their prejudices, by rebranding them as “preferences”? ???

 

I don't see RE-branding..... I have been on this board for years, maybe decades, and this discussion has taken place over and over... I don't see a resolution.... Its simply "you like WHAT you like", and some will label it as racism, others perhaps a bit more evolved wont. Damn, I need a smoothie and some string cheese !

[Monarchy79]

Perhaps, but there is a vast Black market they can "influence", and many wealthy black backers who could help them. Or is "influencing" simply consider a white thing in todays culture ? See what i mean, everything is boiling down to white thing/ black thing, and this is where the divide comes in.

I see your point.

I just find it funny when people say, “why don’t black people just do this...” as if it’s that simple, easy, and possible....there are institutionalized laws, regulations and policies put in place to disenfranchise people.

[Monarchy79]

I don't see RE-branding..... I have been on this board for years, maybe decades, and this discussion has taken place over and over... I don't see a resolution.... Its simply "you like WHAT you like", and some will label it as racism, others perhaps a bit more evolved wont. Damn, I need a smoothie and some string cheese !

But is not simply “you like what you like”....

 

There’s a REASON WHY you like what you like.... and that source of that reasoning is the elephant in the room that no one wants to address.

[jjkrkwood]

I see your point.

I just find it funny when people say, “why don’t black people just do this...” as if it’s that simple, easy, and possible....there are institutionalized laws, regulations and policies put in place to disenfranchise people.

 

Those roadblocks exist for everyone, but if passion drives the project, it can be accomplished... Its the "I cant do this" defeatist attitude many have that derails progress. No law says a black individual cannot post a Youtube video..... Those that want to see change, fight for it....No ?

[jjkrkwood]

But is not simply “you like what you like”....

 

There’s a REASON WHY you like what you like.... and that source of that reasoning is the elephant in the room that no one wants to address.

 

I doubt we will ever have THAT answer ?

[marylander1940]

Is it just me... or am I going CRAZY .. that guys are still RACIST is the Gay Community...

 

I post Massage ADS on Google / Twitter and Massages(s) Site since 2001

 

My Pics / Stats etc are posted etc... for Less Back n Fourth Emails and 100 Texts

 

Then Guys Show up I still hear:

- Oh Did not not you was BLACK

- Sorry Not into BLACKS

- Wished I had know you was BLACK I would not have shown up

- Geez Wiz Thought you was WHITE

-You Sounded WHITE on the phone...

 

This Crap is getting on my last NERVES !!!!

 

Any other(s) CMT out there with this same problem........

 

Yes, racism exist and so does the laziness of folks who don't even bother reading an ad before contacting someone.

[jjkrkwood]

And a drink would be great.... minus the wings (I’ve never been a fan of wings) ..... lol

 

Wow Sir Monarchy, you are a tough one......OK, ill have the wings (with RANCH) and you can have whatever hors-d-ouvres you want...

[Monarchy79]

I don't see RE-branding..... I have been on this board for years, maybe decades, and this discussion has taken place over and over... I don't see a resolution.... Its simply "you like WHAT you like", and some will label it as racism, others perhaps a bit more evolved wont. Damn, I need a smoothie and some string cheese !

Those roadblocks exist for everyone, but if passion drives the project, it can be accomplished... Its the "I cant do this" defeatist attitude many have that derails progress. No law says a black individual cannot post a Youtube video..... Those that want to see change, fight for it....No ?

 

Those roadblocks exist for everyone, but if passion drives the project, it can be accomplished... Its the "I cant do this" defeatist attitude many have that derails progress. No law says a black individual cannot post a Youtube video..... Those that want to see change, fight for it....No ?

Those roadblocks exist for everyone, but if passion drives the project, it can be accomplished... Its the "I cant do this" defeatist attitude many have that derails progress. No law says a black individual cannot post a Youtube video..... Those that want to see change, fight for it....No ?

I think it’s time for that drink and those wings.. ?

[Monarchy79]

Wow Sir Monarchy, you are a tough one......OK, ill have the wings (with RANCH) and you can have whatever hors-d-ouvres you want...

The first round and the wings will be on me!! ☺️??

[Monarchy79]

I’ll just close out by sarcastically making this point about preferences:

1.) “I don’t like blacks or Asians , yuck”..... it’s just a preference.. ?‍♂️

(Racism)

 

2.) “I don’t like fat guys”, it’s just a preference... ?‍♂️ (Body fascism)

 

3.) “I don’t like guys over 40”, it’s just a preference ...?‍♂️ (Ageism)

 

4.) “I don’t like guys who don’t have an ivy-league, education”, it’s just a preference... ?‍♂️ (Elitism)

 

My point is this.... own your shit, if you don’t like someone, for whatever reason, call it what it is, and assert it with confidence. But don’t mask your prejudices by calling them “preferences”, because the term sounds better. ???

[jjkrkwood]

I’ll just close out by sarcastically making this point about preferences:

1.) “I don’t like blacks or Asians , yuck”..... it’s just a preference.. ?‍♂️

(Racism)

 

2.) “I don’t like fat guys”, it’s just a preference... ?‍♂️ (Body fascism)

 

3.) “I don’t like guys over 40”, it’s just a preference ...?‍♂️ (Ageism)

 

4.) “I don’t like guys who don’t have an ivy-league, education”, it’s just a preference... ?‍♂️ (Elitism)

 

My point is this.... own your shit, if you don’t like someone, for whatever reason, call it what it is, and assert it with confidence. But don’t mask your prejudices by calling them “preferences”, because the term sounds better. ???