Trying to find the “right” city to move to, but so hard.

[Rudynate]

"Don't want small town big cities. Aka, cities who's economy/livelihood revolves around 1 or 2 things: e.g. A university (Austin), country music (Nashville)"

 

Austin and Nashville are very definitely NOT one-industry cities, as you suggest they are......Austin is also the capital of Texas and has a thriving tech industry (also derisively nicknamed the "People's Republic Of Austin" and "Moscow On The Colorado" for its liberal reputation).....and Nashville has big-tech and several large colleges.......very diverse economies in both cities......

 

despite the cold winters, if I were you...........

 

 

 

My niece is a veterinary radiologist in Nashville. She started a mobile practice and is so in demand that I expect she will soon be wealthy.

[Mocha]

What extreme laws are you referring to in North Carolina?

 

Thanks for the suggestions. I have visited Omaha and Lincoln and have a couple regs there from my last visit, but I don’t think it’s conducive to a gay ethnic male provider trying to streamline his possibilities. Omaha is a place to have on an occasional rotational. Omaha has flakes to the high levels of extremes, and those areas tend to be out of tune with the whole paying for pleasure aspect of living.

 

They are so used to seeing ethnic folk as low and/or 2nd class citizens or working in service type of industries. So when they see a real life professional, it can be a bit too foreign for most of them. Not all, but the majority. Kansas City can be the same way, which is why I’m 1 foot out the door here.

 

I’ve been to North Carolina a handful of times. Both before and after. Prior to these laws being passed, North Carolina was a busy state for me on my first trip to Raleigh and Charlotte. It seems afterwards, things there changed up a bit. Maybe because of:

 

https://statelaws.findlaw.com/north-carolina-law/north-carolina-prostitution-and-solicitation-laws.html

 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wral.com/new-law-would-help-in-fight-against-north-carolina-s-thriving-illicit-massage-business/16832136/?version=amp

Edited June 3, 2019 by Mocha

[Mocha]

I agree completely. Affluent southerners seem to almost exaggerate being preppy.

 

One of my high schools in central Florida was all about Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle, and...can’t think of the other one.

 

The gay dudes in Nashville push the preppie look a lot. One of my lil ghetto ex friends from Memphis would occasionally go out trying to sport the preppy look. Many guys in Nashville did not step out of the box when it came to fashion...and if they did, it was the typical “scene queen” stuff you wear at a gay club.

 

I will say though, some guy in Nashville gave me an American Apparel tank top...and of all the ones I have, it accentuates my shoulders the most.

 

I love LA. But for the pollution and congestion, I would happily live there.

 

There’s only 1 reason why I would live in LA: and it would to be around Alexander King Palms all day. For some reason, I can only find these in Los Angeles area. It’s hard even to find these in Florida.

 

 

 

My niece is a veterinary radiologist in Nashville. She started a mobile practice and is so in demand that I expect she will soon be wealthy.

 

...and that relates to me how?? Veterinarians are like hookers, they can make money anywhere. Except they charge far more.

 

That’s not being bitchy, but I get tired of people (mainly the media) associating the success or business ventures of a select few people, as an indicator that a city is “booming” or going to serve the same results for everyone.

 

Tennessee still doesn’t have expanded healthcare (Colorado/Wisconsin/Nevada does), the customer service at the restaurants are horrible (I had to publicly tell a woman off at a Waffle House (I know, not necessarily world class dining, but I had just drive from Chicago and was hAngry) because they ignored me for 20 minutes for my to go order.

 

The weather in winter sucks, rains all day and night. Brown, gray, and wet. Summer is rife with allergens.

 

On top of that, the gay guys in Nashville are fake, phony, artificial, and half way fraudulent. Not to mention racist (from all 3 race main groups, not just from the Whites), segregated, untrustworthy. I went thru nearly 2 years of HELL living there. As much as I was thankful to be living rent free, I was suffering miserably out there. I met some good people here and there out there, but most of them proved to be inconsistent and unreliable.

 

All in all, I’m only cool with 1 person in a Nashville since I left. He happens to be deaf, but I rather associate myself with a deaf person than a 2 faced, artificial one any day.

 

On the other hand: if you’re living the affluent life in Nashville, living in Brentwood, Cool Springs, Vanderbilt or the areas around downtown...and have a reliable social network to boot, I can see Nashville being a perfect living choice. I’ve experienced the high life in Nashville while I was there...and met lots of people, but as I said, non of it lasted because they are all about “cliques” and the next best party out there.

Edited June 3, 2019 by Mocha

[caramelsub]

One of my high schools in central Florida was all about Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle, and...can’t think of the other one.

 

It's kind of funny, because when I think preppy, I don't normally think the mall brands like, hollister, abercrombie, and american eagle, which seem to be more trendy, but more ralph lauren polo, lacoste, vineyard vines, north face jackets, patagonia fleeces, sperry topsiders, sunglasses with croakies, lots of khaki shorts/pants. People looking like this...

[+ Pensant]

Actually, there’s a kind of post-Preppie look now. Think Faherty Brand, Culturata, Ring Jacket, Sol Angeles, and the higher-end selvage jeans. North Face is too Macy’s now. Arc’teryx is now cooler than Patagonia. Alden shoes and boots. AG khaki shorts. The occasional Gitman Bros. button-down shirt. Many other brands are now made in China, so have lost much of their attraction to the sartorial cognoscenti.

[Rudynate]

Actually, there’s a kind of post-Preppie look now. Think Faherty Brand, Culturata, Ring Jacket, Sol Angeles, and the higher-end selvage jeans. North Face is too Macy’s now. Arc’teryx is now cooler than Patagonia. Alden shoes and boots. AG khaki shorts. The occasional Gitman Bros. button-down shirt. Many other brands are now made in China, so have lost much of their attraction to the sartorial cognoscenti.

 

 

Alden shoes? That's an old, old brand. I had a pair of Alden shoes once. They did, indeed, look very preppy. I was never motivated to go back and get more Alden shoes.

[+ Pensant]

Alden shoes? That's an old, old brand. I had a pair of Alden shoes once. They did, indeed, look very preppy. I was never motivated to go back and get more Alden shoes.

Alden has become much hipper. Check out their boots.

https://www.brickmortarseattle.com/

[Rudynate]

Alden has become much hipper. Check out their boots.

https://www.brickmortarseattle.com/

 

 

They ARE nice. Frye might have to start competing with Alden for my boot budget.

[+ 5280Dane]

Thanks for the suggestions. I have visited Omaha and Lincoln and have a couple regs there from my last visit, but I don’t think it’s conducive to a gay ethnic male provider trying to streamline his possibilities. Omaha is a place to have on an occasional rotational. Omaha has flakes to the high levels of extremes, and those areas tend to be out of tune with the whole paying for pleasure aspect of living.

 

They are so used to seeing ethnic folk as low and/or 2nd class citizens or working in service type of industries. So when they see a real life professional, it can be a bit too foreign for most of them. Not all, but the majority. Kansas City can be the same way, which is why I’m 1 foot out the door here.

 

I’ve been to North Carolina a handful of times. Both before and after. Prior to these laws being passed, North Carolina was a busy state for me on my first trip to Raleigh and Charlotte. It seems afterwards, things there changed up a bit. Maybe because of:

 

https://statelaws.findlaw.com/north-carolina-law/north-carolina-prostitution-and-solicitation-laws.html

 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wral.com/new-law-would-help-in-fight-against-north-carolina-s-thriving-illicit-massage-business/16832136/?version=amp

Almost all states have prostitution laws and there has been a crackdown on massage parlors but you aren’t in that category at all and most of it subsided with the removal of craigslist and backpage ads. Crackdowns are aimed at sex slavery and abusive situations, they pretty much leave men alone in our situations. Best wishes though on where you land!

[+ 5280Dane]

Raleigh and Charlotte are turning more liberal solely because of the out of state transplants. There are still a lot of conservative old money southern families in both cities, who may not take to kindly to gays, or blacks, or gays and blacks. I know more about raleigh culture than Charlotte, but have lived in both cities. North raleigh and Cary have a lot of transplants, you’d be less likely to see native born Raleigh citizens in these areas. But most of the more established neighborhoods “inside the beltline” or the older part of Raleigh are very conservative with mostly native born Raleigh citizens. It’s very old southern, and very preppy. This lifestyle may not be for everyone.

 

You are correct that the cities have changed with the influx of people, and for Charlotte many of those are from New York and San Francisco due to BOA and Wells operations. The liberal movement is in full swing and spreading through the suburbs. What both cities lack though are established gay neighborhoods. People are spread out all over the city. And oh fuck old money. Let them get pissed off. The ol Dixiecrats need to go. What Charlotte has going for it is lower housing costs than many other cities. You can still get a decent property for under $200k.

[+ Pensant]

The old money is rapidly being overtaken by the much bigger “new” money.

[Mocha]

Best wishes though on where you land!

 

Thank-you so much!

 

Don’t get me wrong, North Carolina was for a long time, a considered state on my “list” when I was looking to leave Colorado. I wanted the whole beach, mountain, city, 4 NORMAL seasons. And the Smoky Mountains, Asheville, and Raleigh Triangle area are all worth visiting. I even went up there last summer and visited someone from the forum.

 

However, something about it after a few visits just didn’t “click” for me. Something was missing. I’ve spent more time in Raleigh than in Charlotte though, just to be fair. But I’ve been to both more than once.

 

Despite the growth and spreading Liberalism “sounding” progressive, I still get this vibe out there of racial oppression and an overall “system”. Of course this is present in so many southern states as it is, but North Carolina is no exception.

 

I went to a diner in downtown Charlotte, mostly Black patrons, pretty popular and well reviewed. But there were 2 cop cars parked in front of restaurant. When I went inside, they were posted up like ushers, ready to drag someone out if anything broke out. Fortunately it didn’t, but it felt like “master was watching”.

 

And as contradicting as it may sound, Charlotte and Raleigh can be ghetto...especially Charlotte. I just don’t like being in cities where racial tensions or stereotypes are high.

 

That’s why I had a hard time in Orlando. Texas can be the same way. Chicago can be the same way. There was no room to stand out and be unique. But places like Salt Lake City where @VictorPowers lives, I feel like I have the opportunity to present my own narrative of who I am when I come to a city.

[Guest europeanman]

I have news for you @Mocha . There will never be a right city for you.

"You said: “I’ll go to another country, go to another shore,

find another city better than this one.

Don’t hope for things elsewhere:

there’s no ship for you, there’s no road.

Now that you’ve wasted your life here, in this small corner,

you’ve destroyed it everywhere in the world."

Cavafy - The City. Google it for the full poem.

[Mocha]

I have news for you @Mocha . There will never be a right city for you.

"You said: “I’ll go to another country, go to another shore,

find another city better than this one.

Don’t hope for things elsewhere:

there’s no ship for you, there’s no road.

Now that you’ve wasted your life here, in this small corner,

you’ve destroyed it everywhere in the world."

Cavafy - The City. Google it for the full poem.

 

For a moment I was offended (sounded a bit catty), but then I read into it further and noticed a good point you made. I guess there really isn’t a “right” or “perfect” city. I suppose there’s only choices in cities, and choosing what place is conducive and desirable for that specific goal or desire in time.

 

But I still say, the longer you stay in a city, the more you become adjusted and preferred to your surroundings. Like the one poster who said he lived in Dallas for 38 years. That’s longer than I’ve been alive, so at that point...there’s nothing to say about it other than, “but you can’t expect someone who’s lived elsewhere to embrace the idea of living there for 38 years”. And that person shouldn’t get his jockstraps in a knot over it either.

 

It’s just all about what a person is looking for and willing to tolerate. I’ve known people who’ve lived in Atlanta for 40-50 years, but I also have a friend who broke his lease to leave after just a few months.

 

I also had to look into the interpretation of your quoted poem as well:

 

The main topic or theme of this enigmatic poem would be the transient nature of a city's glory.

 

Whichever position you take, this poem is all about the loss of former wealth, glory, and power. Its main theme is the decay of a civilization in structural, political, and societal terms:

 

"What is the main topic or the theme of the poem "The Ruined City"?" eNotes, 4 Aug. 2015, https://www.enotes.com/homework-help/what-main-topic-theme-poem-ruined-city-486587. Accessed 5 June 2019

Edited June 5, 2019 by Mocha

[Guest europeanman]

For a moment I was offended (sounded a bit catty), but then I read into it further and noticed a good point you made. I guess there really isn’t a “right” or “perfect” city. I suppose there’s only choices in cities, and choosing what place is conducive and desirable for that specific goal or desire in time.

 

But I still say, the longer you stay in a city, the more you become adjusted and preferred to your surroundings. Like the one poster who said he lived in Dallas for 38 years. That’s longer than I’ve been alive, so at that point...there’s nothing to say about it other than, “but you can’t expect someone who’s lived elsewhere to embrace the idea of living there for 38 years”. And that person shouldn’t get his jockstraps in a knot over it either.

 

It’s just all about what a person is looking for and willing to tolerate. I’ve known people who’ve lived in Atlanta for 40-50 years, but I also have a friend who broke his lease to leave after just a few months.

 

I also had to look into the interpretation of your quoted poem as well:

 

The main topic or theme of this enigmatic poem would be the transient nature of a city's glory.

 

Whichever position you take, this poem is all about the loss of former wealth, glory, and power. Its main theme is the decay of a civilization in structural, political, and societal terms:

 

"What is the main topic or the theme of the poem "The Ruined City"?" eNotes, 4 Aug. 2015, https://www.enotes.com/homework-help/what-main-topic-theme-poem-ruined-city-486587. Accessed 5 June 2019

I am afraid you have the wrong poem. Here is a link for The City by C.P. Cavafy. https://www.onassis.org/initiatives/cavafy-archive/the-canon/the-city I think you ll enjoy reading it

[Mocha]

I am afraid you have the wrong poem. Here is a link for The City by C.P. Cavafy. https://www.onassis.org/initiatives/cavafy-archive/the-canon/the-city I think you ll enjoy reading it

 

I did read it. But my God, that was depressing A.F., why would you think I’d enjoy reading that?

 

I did find another interpretation:

 

The first poem encountered is “The City.” In it, someone (Cavafy perhaps) is regretting their life of failure and is blaming the city, which has assumed an ominous personality, for this failure, wondering whether another city would have been more rewarding.

 

Let me just be clear: Because I can read between the lines when a person is trying to be funny and slick. I’m not blaming cities, and I’m not having a life of failure. I could show you my phone right now, with my 1,600 pictures, and you can see how I’m doing. My photo album is like a travel magazine and novelá erótica book all in one.

 

With that being the case, I still don’t necessarily see myself living in every city I visit. I know a lot of people who are living and appearing happy and successful on the surface in a particular city (take Madison, Wisconsin as an example), but they’re not living there because they are necessarily “in love” with the city or its people, they’re living there because that’s where they have a job, and possibly a social network. And like I posted earlier, many don’t have an option to go elsewhere, even if they want to.

 

People who say, “oh you won’t do any better there, you can do what you’re doing here” are talking out of their ass and generally living in a bubble. 4 months after I left Nashville, I had bought a second car, my number of reviews started going up, and I was doing much better for myself.

 

When I left Florida in December, I went from having 1 or 2 clients every couple of weeks, and barely making ends, to gaining several additional reviews in just 2 months.

 

So don’t try to be brash. Otherwise, it’s a cute poem and perhaps I can find a relation to it in other ways.

[Guest europeanman]

Actually associating escorts and clients with Cavafy is highly poetic

[Mocha]

Actually associating escorts and clients with Cavafy is highly poetic

 

Ha. Maybe I got it wrong then. So what are you trying to say about the overall post all together?

[+ VictorPowers]

Thank-you so much!

 

Don’t get me wrong, North Carolina was for a long time, a considered state on my “list” when I was looking to leave Colorado. I wanted the whole beach, mountain, city, 4 NORMAL seasons. And the Smoky Mountains, Asheville, and Raleigh Triangle area are all worth visiting. I even went up there last summer and visited someone from the forum.

 

However, something about it after a few visits just didn’t “click” for me. Something was missing. I’ve spent more time in Raleigh than in Charlotte though, just to be fair. But I’ve been to both more than once.

 

Despite the growth and spreading Liberalism “sounding” progressive, I still get this vibe out there of racial oppression and an overall “system”. Of course this is present in so many southern states as it is, but North Carolina is no exception.

 

I went to a diner in downtown Charlotte, mostly Black patrons, pretty popular and well reviewed. But there were 2 cop cars parked in front of restaurant. When I went inside, they were posted up like ushers, ready to drag someone out if anything broke out. Fortunately it didn’t, but it felt like “master was watching”.

 

And as contradicting as it may sound, Charlotte and Raleigh can be ghetto...especially Charlotte. I just don’t like being in cities where racial tensions or stereotypes are high.

 

That’s why I had a hard time in Orlando. Texas can be the same way. Chicago can be the same way. There was no room to stand out and be unique. But places like Salt Lake City where @VictorPowers lives, I feel like I have the opportunity to present my own narrative of who I am when I come to a city.

Utah has very little Black men living here. You’ll stand out!