Escorts' Manners and Courtesy

[RockHard]

RE: Turning.

 

"Modesty is not something you can turn on and off."

 

Oh sure it is! But it helps if you're a decent actor. If anyone thinks I'm as outrageous in-person as I am on this board, then they'd be a fool. I've been with several escorts who contribute to this forum and they have NO CLUE who I am. I definitely know how to turn certain things on and off. :-)

 

ps Do any "boys" get my subject reference?

[Guest]

As much as I love lobster I feel it's rude to order the most expensive items on the menu--regardless of the circumstances. Pharmaceutical companies often take physicians such as myself to dinner. When I'm offered to order off the menu, I stick to mid-priced items and lower-end wines (usually 1/3 from the bottom). Likewise, my brother and his wife make about 40X my salary. Yet when they take the family out someplace nice, I would never order an item which was unusually expensive (i.e. lobster). To me, doing so would seem to send a message that I valued their money, not their company. Yes, of course, we all know that escorts go out with their clients for their money, not for their company. However, it's the escort's job to at least pretend that he values the client's company. That's why people hire escorts--for the fantasy of feeling valued (if some escorts actually enjoy my company, that's a bonus for both parties!).

[Guest timgetrum]

>How important is an escort's manners and common courtesy to

>the whole experience?

 

This is an interesting topic.

 

The escort's "manners" are critical to my enjoyment of the whole experience. I want his "manners" to be exactly what I will most enjoy at that moment, whether at a restaurant, on the street or in bed. What I will most enjoy at any momement may be different from time to time and escort to escort. What I want from the escort is the incredible skill to know exactly which manners will make the moment, whatever it is, most enjoyable for me! I don't think I am different from anyone else contributing here on this count.

 

The best escorts with have broad knowledge about manners, good and bad, in all sorts of situations. The best escorts will have the intuitive skills to know what manners their client at the time will most enjoy and employ them. "Good manners" will be very situational.

 

The example of Benjamin Nicholas paying for dinner and wowing the client is a great example of an experienced, skillful escort plying his trade with exceptional, positive manners at the highest level. Those manners, though viewed narrowly as expensive to Benjamin, are manners, which I am sure have net placed money in Benjamin's pockets!

 

Of course, some escorts have bad manners of all sorts, and one can sometimes actually enjoy the innocent bad manners of the inexperienced escort on one level. One can sometimes enjoy an escort with bad manners, who is eager to learn and has a teachable spirit.

 

I am selfish enough to most enjoy an escort, who has the manners to make me think I am the smartest, wisest, best looking, sexiest, most interesting guy he has ever encountered. I want his table manners to be exactly what I am looking for on that day!

[Luv2play]

You have hit on it exactly. Escorts go out with people for the money yet the clients often prefer to think that when engaged in a social occasion such as a dinner at a restaurant, the escort is there by choice, not necessity. This is all part of the illusion of the business of escorting. However, when an escort in this situation orders the most expensive items on the menu REGARDLESS of what the client is ordering, he is as much as rubbing it in the face of the client that he is someone to be taken advantage of because of his needs. That's why I'm appalled whenever I see this behaviour exhibited.

 

That being said, I usually only dine with escorts that I know quite well and never encounter this behaviour with them. I wouldn't suggest dining with an escort on the first date usually unless I know of his reputation such as through reviews on this site.

[+ bigjoey]

i agree that good manners are very important to the whole experience.

 

if i take an escort to an expensive resturant, he can order anything he wants as i picked the resturant which means i have set the limits by picking the place; if i could not spend what that resturant charges, i would have picked a lesser one. i do not have as much problem with the food he picks but if he runs up an unreasonable bar tab, that to me would be poor behavior. while that has never happened to me with an escort it did when i took out a client who had drinks before during and after the meal with the most expensive ones available (he was recently fired from his company for unauthorized charges to his expense account for his family's travel, gifts, expensive clothes and jewerly).

 

to me manners are more than what the escort picks off the menu. i took one escort to an expensive resturant and his choice of dress was not appropriate. another time an escort flirted openly with the waiter. picking up a soup bowl and drinking from it has been another offense along with chewing food with an open mouth.

 

i tend to hire for weekends and fly escorts to my city. during our time together, one escort often will pick up the lunch tab or the movie tickets. another one will sometimes bring me a small token gift (a new CD, book or DVD he thinks i might like). another calls from time to time just to see how i am doing or he drops me a post card from one of the cities he is visiting. another escort will help with some small projects around the house. it is these small jestures that say that i am not self centered and i care about you; that is a hallmark of courtesy and manners. also, it is good business.

[RockHard]

"As much as I love lobster I feel it's rude to order the most expensive items on the menu--regardless of the circumstances."

 

Some people don't feel they're worthy of being treated well. Some people feel unworthy of earning tons of money. Some people don't like to be touched or stroked. Some people use escorts to fulfill fantasies they can't fulfill any other way. Some people have issues and are fucked up. This thread is a good self-esteem indicator.

 

If I were dining and treating someone who I knew loved lobster, and he ordered chicken because he wanted to play modest, I'd be hurt and disappointed. The tenor of the meal would immediately sour. Recipients of gifts often insult the gift-giver without ever knowing or intending hurtful feelings to occur.

 

When someone is kind enough to give you a gift, you don't say, "No thank you, I'll take the cheaper one." Doing so makes you look unworthy, ungracious, and unappreciative. It's much better to accept the gift with a warm and loving smile, offer the most sincere appreciation (a deep, probing, passionate kiss is nice), follow up with a thank-you card (or call), and do your best to return a like-minded gift at the appropriate time.

 

"That's why people hire escorts--for the fantasy of feeling valued"

 

No, that's why YOU hire escorts.

 

There isn't an escort in the world who can make me feel more valued than I already feel. There is no substitute for unconditional love. Some of you would do better with a new pet and some new porn.

 

I hire escorts to have easy sex with a man I find hot and sexy. The exchange of money (mostly) eliminates the time-wasting bullshit of the seek/find/small-talk/can-I-fuck-you-now game. I'm not looking for new friends or lovers. Other than the gym, my busy life offers no way to meet and/or have sex with hot sexy men. It really is that simple.

 

I've had love in my life and, given that I have a wonderful son, I continue to have love in my life. Contrary to what some may think, I'm not greedy. I don't need a boyfriend's love but I always keep that door open, just in case. I say, never turn down someone's offer to eat lobster. :-)

[Guest alanm]

>There isn't an escort in the world who can make me feel more

>valued than I already feel. There is no substitute for

>unconditional love. Some of you would do better with a new pet

>and some new porn.

 

>I've had love in my life and, given that I have a wonderful

>son, I continue to have love in my life. Contrary to what some

>may think, I'm not greedy. I don't need a boyfriend's love but

>I always keep that door open, just in case. I say, never turn

>down someone's offer to eat lobster. :-)

 

I do not known anything about your real life (and apparently no one else on this site does either). Thanks for creating a wacky, some times lovable, some time very annoying Internet character.

[+ Lucky]

A few years ago I hired escort David Young when he was visiting San Francisco. We had a great time, I paid his fee (for companionship only!) and then I invited him to dinner. He accepted. I chose a fairly pricy place (Farallon) and we had a nice meal. So imagine my surprise when he picked up the tab! Now that's good manners!

[TrumpCoupTommy]

It wasn't so much what my young companion consumed at regular meals that I sometimes took umbrage with (although he tended to order a lot of food, more than what most of us would eat at a sitting): it was some of his other proclivities that I found somewhat irritating. After a full dinner we would go eat for an evening's entertainment and afterwards he was often hungry again and requested fast food, at my expense. On one evening, immediately after a nice dinner, we went to the theater and he promptly ordered numerous refreshments, once again at my expense (yes, this boy could eat). For our time together (several days) I paid this young man several thousand dollars and not once did he offer to buy me so much as a coke. It was all these things taken together, along with some other occurences, that demonstrated to me that this individual was not really a customer-oriented companion.

 

< The escort's "manners" are critical to my enjoyment of the whole experience. >

 

I couldn't agree more. I provide a nice paid vacation for my companion and in return I expect a genuinely considerate and kind individual. I've gained some experience hiring over the years, not nearly as much as some contributors to this forum, but more than others, and I have found that, like in all walks of life, there are wide degrees of professionalism in escorting. The trick is to find those companions who conduct themselves in a professional and considerate manner, and I am finding that this is not always an easy thing to do.

[Epigonos]

TrumpCoupTommy considering the clarification of your last post I might agree with you that the escort took advantage of you. However, as a general rule I agree with EVERYTHING RockHard has said in this thread. Furthermore that agreement comes from someone who is living on the income of a retired teacher. In reality income has nothing to do with this topic after all the client, that's me, selects the restaurant. If I can't afford the top end prices on the menu of the restaurant I have selected then I had damn well better select a less expensive one.

[Steven_Draker]

>I had damn well better select a less expensive one.

 

http://www.american-firefighter.com/photos/pics/614.jpg

 

:+ :+ :+

[EXPAT]

Steven,

It's a good thing I didn't let you drive when you were here ;-)

 

EXPAT

[Epigonos]

Steven,

 

EXACTLY!!!!!

[Lookin]

Bad Car Date #147: "But Officer, he IS my grandson, and I was just helping him change out of his soccer uniform on our way to dinner!"

[Louis]

Steven,

It's a good thing I didn't let you drive when you were here

 

I thought the reason you hired Steven was to do the driving...if you know what I mean...:-)

[Juan Vancouver]

Good manners, promotional gifts, bussines choices...not the same thing.

 

Hey Tommy,

 

I have been following this thread with a lot of attention and I am a little surprised by some of the answers. There seems to be an almost consensus in using money as a gauge for manners. (If the escort binges or eats and doesn't pay, he is ill-mannered, whereas if the escort pays or gives little gifts, he is well mannered.) That in my opinion is mixing different things such as manners, bussines choices and promotional gifts.

 

Also, many people seem very focused on the rules that someone else has set beforehand.

 

My grandmother, an old latino lady totally obsessed with manners used to say that you should never learn any rule; they are always going to be wrong in one circumstance or another. She used to say that if you were paying attention to the situation, being a little bit of a gipsy, a little bit of a gentleman, a little bit of a lover and a little bit of a bussinesman, you would always be in the position to find out what was the right thing to do.

 

I have found that this is always true.

 

Good manners are reflected not in what we do, but in how we relate with those around us.

 

People are always very clear when it comes to their expectations, limits and desires. It is our prerogative to read those signals and either act accordingly or propose options that won't badly compromise our own wishes and needs, without imposing anything on the people around us.

 

I believe that anyone, (But this applies specially to escorts, due to the specific nature of our trade) who is constantly paying attention to the people they are with, read their signs, and honestly but kindly let their needs be known will always be on the side of good manners.

 

In some settings asking for a second serving would be the rudest thing, in some others pretending to be a coy, small, teenage girl who eats like a bird and doesn't want a second serving would only be offensive and ackward. The only real answer to the "what is the right thing to do now?" question is : "It depends. Look around you, consider other people's needs, consider your own and thoughtful."

 

 

Now, on a different subject, I have to adress something that nobody has commented on so far. As far as I know, it is customary that whenever a person is going on a bussines trip, specifically speaking, an escort acompanying a client, it is expected that the client will cover every living expense the escort incurs. When you complaint about he expecting you to pay for his food I must confess that I cringe a little. Unless you had a special agreement with him, you ARE expected to take care of your guest. (Or employee, if you want to look at it that way.) You cannot expect him to pay resort prices for his sustenance, an expense that he would certainly not have at his own home.

 

 

 

When I started doing travel engagements I discovered, much to my dismay that most of the people I travelled with would totally forget that someone who goes to the gym every single day for a couple of hours has a much faster metabolism than someone who doesn't. If you are wanting a muscled, toned, trim guy, it means that he eats many times a day, he eats leaner than most people do, and it is very likely that he will eat a lot. (Besides, some escorts are still teenagers slowly adapting to their growing bodies... boys eat a lot!)

 

Now whenever I am booking a trip engagement I make it known that I eat an average of 5 times a day, and I tend to eat a lot. (But I make it known that a can of tuna and an apple do count as a meal.) So far nobody has complained about that, even if sometimes, after having been warned, they seem genuinely shocked when I have a 5 eggs breakfast. (And on top of that I bring my own protein powder that I take twice a day to try to fight muscle loss.)

 

And even then, whenever I do engagements longer than a week, I always come back home to discover that I have lost an average of five pounds of muscle.

 

All this to bring us to this point: May I suggest that perhaps your escort was hungry?

 

I am a little afraid to go into this, but I think it is really important. Good manners go both ways. So far, most of the gentlemen I have been with were perfectly aware of my needs and took care of them, exactly the same way I take care of theirs. May I suggest that the next time you find yourself in that situation you should perhaps ask your escort if there is any way in which you can help him fulfill his nutritional needs in a more healthy way? I assume your escort is not a morbidly obese kid, therefore he was not eating out of gluttony, he was just hungry. (You never mention his binging on lobster, so I am willing to grant him the benefit of the doubt, even if he was not the best communicator.)

 

Young, athletic, muscular men have their faulty design kinks: They need to go to the gym often, they need to eat often, they need to sleep enough.

 

To put it bluntly, if I was travelling with a fake blonde bimbo, without she needing to tell me anything, I would budget a few hours every week for her bleaching and colouring. :+ It just makes sense.

 

I hope that this provides a different perspective to what already has been said.

 

Receive a tight hug, and I truly hope that the next time you go on a trip with a young boy, you both will have a blast!

[+ nycman]

>Some of you would do better with a new pet and some new porn.

 

Rock, I'm laughing so hard my ribs hurt. Thank you once again for telling it like it is. Not always pretty...but true!

 

>I say, never turn down someone's offer to eat lobster. :-)

 

Truer words were never spoken.

 

"Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death"

-Auntie Mame

[+ nycman]

RE: Good manners, promotional gifts, bussines choices...not the same thing.

 

Juan,

 

As always, your post was thoughtful, polite, and insightful.

 

>My grandmother....used to say that if you were paying attention to

>the situation, being a little bit of a gipsy, a little bit of a

>gentleman, a little bit of a lover and a little bit of a

>bussinesman, you would always be in the position to find out

>what was the right thing to do.

 

I now have a new mantra for dealing with difficult situations where I don't exactly KNOW the right thing to do. Please thank your grandmother for me.

 

>To put it bluntly, if I was travelling with a fake blonde

>bimbo, without she needing to tell me anything, I would budget

>a few hours every week for her bleaching and colouring. :+ It

>just makes sense.

 

LOL...you hit the nail on the head!

 

Now WHEN are you coming to NYC?

[Juan Vancouver]

RE: Good manners, promotional gifts, bussines choices...not the same thing.

 

Thing is that I get to NY quite often. I am just totally engaged for the time I am there. And I am a little lazy to travel on my own and control all the logistics it takes to work on my own there.

 

But there are so many people in NY that I want to know, and so many that I want to say hello again to... Maybe I should do it soon.

 

A tight hug!

 

The dumb, fake-blond bimbo.

[Juan Vancouver]

Okay, that was imprecise...

 

>And even then, whenever I do engagements longer than a week, I

>always come back home to discover that I have lost an average

>of five pounds of muscle.

 

 

Today I received a second mail telling me that in order to lose five pounds of muscle I have to lose a lot more pounds. So let me rephrase that:

 

"Often when I come back home after a long engagement I discover that I have lost an average of 5 pounds, and in order to gain that weight back I have to work really hard at the gym for a couple of weeks. "

 

I hope this sounds more precise. And thank you for your kind correction.

 

Yours,

 

Juan

[Steven_Draker]

>Steven,

>It's a good thing I didn't let you drive when you were here ;-)

 

Actually, my driving skills aren't that bad. KY_TOP can vouch for that.

 

Steven D.

http://www.hotsexystud.com

[Guest carter07]

David Young is a class act in all respects. Plan to see him in Chicago in March.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

RE: Some guys enjoy eating shit.

 

It was my pleasure Epi. The next time we meet, dinner will still be on me

 

I've got a few select BBQ places i'd like to take you as well. I know you're a fan.

 

 

BN

[+ Tom Isern]

RE: Some guys should eat at McDonald's

 

Favorite Rockhead quotes:

 

#108416

"Taking an escort to dinner, or anyone for that matter, and expecting him (them) to "go cheap," as some litmus test for mannerly behavior, is utterly tacky and cheap. Talk about a serious lack of host manners."

 

#108435

"Of course a guest should ALWAYS follow the lead of his or her host, especially if it is known that the host will be picking up the tab."

 

 

This guys lacks the brains to pump gas.

[Lookin]

RE: Some guys should eat at McDonald's

 

Tom, at the risk of getting bumped off by the Hatfields and/or the McCoys, I think I understand what RockHard is saying here: the host should be generous, and the guest should be modest.

 

At first glance, it may sound like a contradiction. I tried to say the same thing a few pages back, although not very successfully. I believe that if the host and the guest are both looking out for each other, then you've got mutual respect in action. And that, in my opinion, has the makings of a good time.

 

So please order what you like, my friend. Except my execution. ;-)