Mutual Respect

[N13]

Had an interesting experience last night. A new connection that had confirmed a 9 pm meeting three times did not show up at 9. I texted a "?" at 9:10. At about 9:20 I received a text back that he was at the gym and would be another 45 minutes before coming to me. I told him to forget it and deleted him from my phone. Around 10 o:clock he texted that he was ready to come. I again told him not to and he sent a photo of his body with a great big hard on. Was this supposed to make me forget his actions due to lust? I said forget it again and deleted it.

 

My question - if it is even a question - is what kind of arrogance makes him think that his rudeness was ok? The "I'm at the gym" is not a reason for ignoring our 9pm agreed upon time. If he has no respect for my time why should I reward him for it? He lost $400 because of it. I have a firm policy of not rewarding bad behavior.

 

More and more I am finding arrogance, bad manners and non-responsiveness running rampant among the escorts. Is it just me or is it getting harder and harder to find reliable escorts? Hope my rant didn't bore you!

[+ FrankR]

That kind of rudeness is not okay. You are a customer paying for his time, at an agreed time. I will cut people some slack if they are stuck on the NYC subway but on the way over already, for example. Otherwise, I do the same; I cancel. A deal is a deal, after all! Have also noticed an uptick in this kind of behavior, even for massage appointments. Educate them with your pocket book; take your business elsewhere.

[MikeBiDude]

More and more I am finding arrogance, bad manners and non-responsiveness running rampant among the escorts.

And more and more I’m just moving on, it’s frustrating. Punctuality alone has taken a back seat, let alone the implied attitude in your post that he’s sot hot (sending you the pic) that you should be so excited see him hours late, LOL

[bigvalboy]

He was only an hour late...I don't know, for a nice body, fresh from the gym, and a "great big hard on", I might not have said no.

[+ poolboy48220]

This reminds me of an exchange I saw at work, on our team's chat room. "Bob" called out "Greg" for missing a conference call Greg had scheduled; 10 minutes past the scheduled time Bob said he was leaving, & told Greg to reschedule. Greg immediately replied "I'm here now, I was talking to Dan (his boss)", and it turned into a bit of a cat fight about how often Greg did this, several times already that day, and how long & how many times were people supposed to wait for him. I admit I watched this with some glee as I'd been treated that way multiple times by Greg myself.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Had an interesting experience last night. A new connection that had confirmed a 9 pm meeting three times did not show up at 9. I texted a "?" at 9:10. At about 9:20 I received a text back that he was at the gym and would be another 45 minutes before coming to me. I told him to forget it and deleted him from my phone. Around 10 o:clock he texted that he was ready to come. I again told him not to and he sent a photo of his body with a great big hard on. Was this supposed to make me forget his actions due to lust? I said forget it again and deleted it.

 

My question - if it is even a question - is what kind of arrogance makes him think that his rudeness was ok? The "I'm at the gym" is not a reason for ignoring our 9pm agreed upon time. If he has no respect for my time why should I reward him for it? He lost $400 because of it. I have a firm policy of not rewarding bad behavior.

 

More and more I am finding arrogance, bad manners and non-responsiveness running rampant among the escorts. Is it just me or is it getting harder and harder to find reliable escorts? Hope my rant didn't bore you!

It depends what culture he comes from. In some cultures “Let’s meet at 9” means “I’ll be there sometimes between 9 and 12.” It is not considered rude at all, it is expected. A dinner party announced at 9 pm in Brazil, for example, if you arrive at 9, the host will be in the shower and has not started cooking anything yet. Everyone else but you will arrive after 10:30.

 

Same for grinder dates, and escorts.

 

It is infuriating for someone like me, who apologises if I ever am 1 and a half minute late. But you can’t change an entire culture.

[N13]

The only thing my mother gave me that I listen to is: "If you keep someone waiting you are telling them that you are more important than they are." I am always early.

[+ sync]

My comment may be better suited for the politics forum, but here it is: I believe the decay of professional courtesy and consideration in the escort industry is no different from the decay of professional courtesy and consideration we are experiencing elsewhere in our society (how many reports have we read or seen of customers being abused at retail locations?). I believe it is the result of the arrogant, boorish, and inflated sense of entitlement that is projected upon us all day, every day from the White House. Escorts/masseurs are no more immune to it than the rest of us, which has been noted in numerous postings by escorts/masseurs about the shabby treatment they have received from some clients. I'm living within the hope that better days are coming.

[Guest]

It depends what culture he comes from...

 

I'm sorry, but we are not in Brazil, and people who come from abroad need to adjust to the culture where they live. For example, our "OK" sign with the index finger and thumb touching means "fuck you" in Brazil, so I would not use that sign if were in Brazil. I take my shoes off when I go to someone's house in Japan, and I would not walk down the street munching on an ice cream in a Muslim country during Ramadan. That's just basic manners--showing respect for others and the culture where you are located. Sometimes people who are extremely good looking will get away with atrocious behavior, such as the escort's in the OP's example, because others would do anything to have sex with them. Would this behavior be tolerated in general society? What an unbelievable lack of respect.

I'm not sure how it is in you guys' doctor's offices, but if a patient is over 15 minutes late, I give the patient the option to either reschedule or wait until all the patients who are on time have been seen, since it's not fair in my view to make the considerate patients wait because of the rude behavior of disrespectful patients. When I see the late patients, I tell them at the end of the visit that late patients don't just disrupt the schedules of the doctor and his medical assistant, but, if I see them in the appointment time, of the schedules of other patients and those who accompany them. Rarely will I see anyone who's 25 or more minutes late, unless there's a pressing medical issue.

[+ bashful]

It depends what culture he comes from. In some cultures “Let’s meet at 9” means “I’ll be there sometimes between 9 and 12.” It is not considered rude at all, it is expected. A dinner party announced at 9 pm in Brazil, for example, if you arrive at 9, the host will be in the shower and has not started cooking anything yet. Everyone else but you will arrive after 10:30.

 

Same for grinder dates, and escorts.

 

It is infuriating for someone like me, who apologises if I ever am 1 and a half minute late. But you can’t change an entire culture.

 

Sort of like Hawaian Time.

 

When I see the late patients, I tell them at the end of the visit that late patients don't just disrupt the schedules of the doctor and his medical assistant, but, if I see them in the appointment time, of the schedules of other patients and those who accompany them. Rarely will I see anyone who's 25 or more minutes late, unless there's a pressing medical issue.

 

I hope the benefit is that no patient has to sit and wait in the exam room past their scheduled appointment time.

Edited October 26, 2018 by bashful

[+ Tarte Gogo]

I'm sorry, but we are not in Brazil, and people who come from abroad need to adjust to the culture where they live.

Of course, majority rules. In America the escort needs to adapt.

 

I just realised, do we know where this happened? And what is the escort’s background? Can his mis-behaving be explained by a difference in his culture’s views on time management?

 

Anyway, my point is not that the escort shouldn’t adapt I have no idea why you think that is what I said. You are arguing against a strawman.

 

My point is that he may not realise yet, if he is newly arrived and nobody has explained it to him, that he is being rude.

 

Let’s find out more about him.

[N13]

American (not first generation and not ethnic). In NYC. 'Nuff said?

[+ FrankR]

And more and more I’m just moving on, it’s frustrating. Punctuality alone has taken a back seat, let alone the implied attitude in your post that he’s sot hot (sending you the pic) that you should be so excited see him hours late, LOL

Well, the way I read the OP the provider was still at the gym at 10, ready to go but still not en route. So given NYC traffic he wont arrive until, say, 11, thus two hours late. Too long for an itch to go unscratched!

Edited October 25, 2018 by FrankR

[+ Tarte Gogo]

American (not first generation and not ethnic). In NYC. 'Nuff said?

Yep!

 

Well guys, your country is going to the dogs. It is big in trouble if you think many of your young ‘ns are like that! Nearly in as much trouble as Brazil. I give it another 1, maybe 2 generations, then the American empire is over.

 

Having people who commit to something and then follow through is hugely important to create wealth, and stay on top.

[Nvr2Thick]

And more and more I’m just moving on, it’s frustrating. Punctuality alone has taken a back seat, let alone the implied attitude in your post that he’s sot hot (sending you the pic) that you should be so excited see him hours late, LOL

 

Enablers are often responsible for nurturing the poor behavior of entitled people.

[RM]

So you see your patients at the appointed time. Most of my doctors see me at least a half hour after the scheduled time. My Mom's doctor scheduled patients fifteen minutes apart and spent 20 minutes with each. His waiting room was always full.

[RM]

My comment may be better suited for the politics forum, but here it is: I believe the decay of professional courtesy and consideration in the escort industry is no different from the decay of professional courtesy and consideration we are experiencing elsewhere in our society (how many reports have we read or seen of customers being abused at retail locations?). I believe it is the result of the arrogant, boorish, and inflated sense of entitlement that is projected upon us all day, every day from the White House. Escorts/masseurs are no more immune to it than the rest of us, which has been noted in numerous postings by escorts/masseurs about the shabby treatment they have received from some clients. I'm living within the hope that better days are coming.

You mean this discourtesy just started two years ago?

[+ sync]

You mean this discourtesy just started two years ago?

 

One year, nine months.

[dcguy20]

Most of the time, I like to book an appointment a day in advance, or at least earlier in the day. Lately I'm running into guys who want to change the time an hour or so before said appointment. Not good.

[Guest]

I hope the benefit is that no patient has to sit and wait in the exam room past their scheduled appointment time.

 

Well, the benefit is that my patients have to wait, on average, less than the patients of most of my colleagues where I work. The delays I have in seeing my patients are almost entirely out of my control. I work with a mostly indigent patient group. I give instructions to follow-up in 4 to 5 weeks to adjust the patient's heart medications, diabetes, and so on, then they come back in 9 months because things have gone all out of whack in crisis. Or there's the patient who doesn't come in for a long time, then comes in with a laundry list. Yes, I do tell these patients that I have other patients to consider, and that I'll only tackle the most important problems today and reschedule for the others, but even explaining that to the patients takes time. Of course, there's the doctors' favorites: those you spend 20 minutes with, then as you're leaving, say "Oh, by the way...". Yes, in most cases, I have no huge agony in saying "I'm sorry, but we'll have to schedule another appointment to discuss that," but sometimes the "By the way" is "I've been getting crushing chest pains when I go up the stairs," or something else serious, and my hands are tied. If patients could just stand in doctors' shoes for a few days, they would be more understanding as to why it's not always possible, especially in primary care, to predict the length of an office visit.

[Kippy]

Had an interesting experience last night. A new connection that had confirmed a 9 pm meeting three times did not show up at 9. I texted a "?" at 9:10. At about 9:20 I received a text back that he was at the gym and would be another 45 minutes before coming to me. I told him to forget it and deleted him from my phone. Around 10 o:clock he texted that he was ready to come. I again told him not to and he sent a photo of his body with a great big hard on. Was this supposed to make me forget his actions due to lust? I said forget it again and deleted it.

 

My question - if it is even a question - is what kind of arrogance makes him think that his rudeness was ok? The "I'm at the gym" is not a reason for ignoring our 9pm agreed upon time. If he has no respect for my time why should I reward him for it? He lost $400 because of it. I have a firm policy of not rewarding bad behavior.

 

More and more I am finding arrogance, bad manners and non-responsiveness running rampant among the escorts. Is it just me or is it getting harder and harder to find reliable escorts? Hope my rant didn't bore you!

 

It all starts with a breakdown in penmanship!

 

Kipp

[+ Pensant]

He was pretty rude; however, I rarely encounter that kind of behavior. When I lived in SoCal, providers would call staying they were stuck on the freeway. Totally understandable. I tend to be pretty laid back about these things. For example, last night I had dinner at the bar of a trendy new place down the street. The bar staff are all kids and I knew a few from other places. They were super busy and it took a while to get my drink. I was very relaxed about it and began chatting with the servers and bar servers. They were pleased that I understood how slammed they were. I was pleased to see that they comped me two glasses of wine! It pays to be sweet and understanding.

[Guest]

He was pretty rude; however, I rarely encounter that kind of behavior. When I lived in SoCal, providers would call staying they were stuck on the freeway. Totally understandable. I tend to be pretty laid back about these things. For example, last night I had dinner at the bar of a trendy new place down the street. The bar staff are all kids and I knew a few from other places. They were super busy and it took a while to get my drink. I was very relaxed about it and began chatting with the servers and bar servers. They were pleased that I understood how slammed they were. I was pleased to see that they comped me two glasses of wine! It pays to be sweet and understanding.

Well, there's quite a difference between calling before or around your appointment time to explain that your lateness is due to something beyond your control, and calling AFTER the appointed time to explain that you're not even considering leaving now, because you have something else you'd rather do (but is not essential). As for the understaffed restaurant or bar, it's one thing for the host to say, at the start of the visit "I'm sorry but a couple of people called in sick, so we're understaffed today. We will do our best to accommodate you, and offer you a free glass of wine as compensation." Having to make the guest simply assume that's the norm, without an explanation and apology, is rude and bad business in my view. A few months ago, I went to a restaurant and the service was terrible--half an hour between our being seated and even having our orders taken, then it went downhill from there. When I wrote my Yelp review for my visit, I wrote that the food was great, but I wouldn't go back because the service was so bad. I got a message back from the owners a couple of days later saying that they had been understaffed that day, and they offered me a $20 voucher for a future visit. Not the wisest way to deal with their problem, in my view.

I do think it's appropriate when the service is poor, when offered no apology/explanation, to decrease the gratuity accordingly. If the server has twice the tables he's supposed to have, he should be able to make up for in quantity what he was unable to provide in quality. Why should he make twice the money for providing bad service? Often, however, I do get informed of the problem, and generally get a free drink or appetizer as compensation, which seems fine to me. When I get treated with this respect, then I tip normally.

[N13]

Being laid back about backed up service is one thing. Not keeping an appointment is a totally different situation.

[+ poolboy48220]

To me, letting people know there is a problem does a lot to make me sympathetic. Miss Manners (there I go quoting her again) described two "plane-delayed-at-the-gate" situations, one where the passengers were kept informed about what was going on, how far back in line to depart the plane was, etc went much more smoothly where nothing at all was said.

 

I tried to order carry-out from a place that had gotten very good reviews of its wings. First call no answer, second call "HelloPleaseHold" and nothing for two minutes, third call just straight to hold with nothing said, fourth called transferred to the carry-out person again two minutes on hold. I finally got through, placed my order, they said it'd be ready in 15 minutes; I said I was about a half-hour away and could they delay it, and they said "We can't really do that, can you call back in 15 minutes?' After all that, the wings weren't any better than Outback's (which are superb, by the way).