Tipping

[dnlwd99]

First, let me apologize if this thread has already been exhausted elsewhere. I did a search but didn’t find what I was looking for specifically. I apologize if it’s redundant.

 

I have a weekend BFE scheduled for the middle of September. I’ve already paid for the escort’s plane ticket. He has told me a very good rate because we already have an established relationship via the Internet. I would like to treat him well and appropriately so I have been wondering what the appropriate tip is if at all. Any wisdom that anyone here has I would greatly appreciate!

Edited August 23, 2018 by dnlwd99

[KeepItReal]

First, let me apologize if this thread has already been exhausted elsewhere. I did a search but didn’t find what I was looking for specifically. I apologize if it’s redundant.

 

I have a weekend BFE scheduled for the middle of September. I’ve already paid for the escort’s plane ticket. He has told me a very good rate because we already have an established relationship via the Internet. I would like to treat him well and appropriately so I have been wondering what the appropriate tip is if at all. Any wisdom that anyone here has I would greatly appreciate!

I am not an escort, but since you have not received a reply today, I am jumping in. In short: ask 10 forum members and you will get 10 different answers...

I choose to tip moderately when I receive what I believe is superior service. Others object against the practice for various reasons. Do whatever feels right for you. Treat others as you would want to be treated, with kindness...and moderation. Don't go overboard! lol

[MassageDrew]

Chances are you’ll get varying answers as @KeepItReal indicated. Tips are subjective. You paid for his time, travels, and possibly meals/drinks among other things. Is it one day of the weekend or the whole weekend? I have a pretty good feeling he’s already built in some tip into the fee you agreed to pay in the first place. I suggest to make your decision at the end so you can better decide what you think is appropriate. Did he fulfill the fantasy as promised? Or, were you underwhelmed? Once all is said and done you can decide what you think is a fair tip, if you’re gonna give any at all.

[dnlwd99]

Thanks, guys. Your answers made me feel better. Again, I want to do the right thing by him. I know when you go to a restaurant in Europe, a tip isn’t expected. But in the States, if you don’t tip, you’re a huge jerk. So it part of the culture. I guess I wanted to want to be an inadvertent jerk. Thanks!

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Thanks, guys. Your answers made me feel better. Again, I want to do the right thing by him. I know when you go to a restaurant in Europe, a tip isn’t expected. But in the States, if you don’t tip, you’re a huge jerk. So it part of the culture. I guess I wanted to want to be an inadvertent jerk. Thanks!

But the restaurant waiter gets very little of the money you give for your meal. Just an hourly minimum wage.

The escort gets 100% of the money you give him. He owns his own business. He can price accordingly.

[FTM Zachary Prince]

You mentioned that the escort gave you a very good rate because you already have an established relationship online. That’s a very sweet gesture on his part. Sometimes escorts do this, because they want you to agree to the extended booking and want to make you feel special... and then regret it later. It’s not because we change our minds about you being very special after all. It’s just that getting paid less than our standard rates can bother us EVEN IF IT WAS OUR IDEA! Sometimes we are under economic pressure to get you to agree to the trip or simply feeling generous in the moment when we give the quote. Then oops, later we wish we hadn’t offered such a generous discount. I’m not saying everyone does this, but it’s a relatively COMMON story that I hear. This can make us reluctant to give our very best service or agree to repeat trips, just because of our subconscious irritation with ourselves for underquoting the value of our labor. Whether an escort has made a mistake in underquoting or completely knew what he was doing and quoted you an amount that he feels GREAT about is impossible to know, and probably depends on how experienced he is as an escort, among other factors.

 

What in the world does all this have to do with tipping? Well, if he shows you the time of your life, you might consider tipping an amount that brings his total compensation (not including the flight) closer to whatever his actual/published rate would be for that amount of time normally. Match his generous gesture of a discounted session with a generous gesture of paying the full amount anyway. As a tip. If your experience is great. It can go a long way in establishing a positive and generous dynamic between you two in the ongoing future.

 

Tipping is not “expected” when it comes to hiring escorts in the USA. But it can definitely mean a lot to us and is highly appreciated. We often go “above and beyond” for clients in terms of what we bring to the table, and it’s always heart-warming to have the extra effort acknowledged with a tip. That said, if someone barely fulfills their end of the bargain, of course you might not feel inclined to give one, and that is also perfectly fine.

 

I also want to note that as small business owners, most escorts keep nowhere near 100% of the fee we charge. We typically have operational expenses that eat up a decent chunk of that sticker price. But I agree that tipping your waiter/waitress is totally different because they do not set the price of their own labor and are paid an extremely low hourly wage that ASSUMES there will be tips involved, and that’s definitely not the case with most independent escorts either.

Edited August 24, 2018 by FTM Zachary Prince

[+ Brad in NYC]

@FTM Zachary Prince Can you give a general rundown of the kinds of operational expenses you have? I didn’t realize there was much of this.

[Deadlift1]

aye carumba! Remember you are paying and you run the show.

[+ oldNbusted]

First, let me apologize if this thread has already been exhausted elsewhere. I did a search but didn’t find what I was looking for specifically. I apologize if it’s redundant.

 

I have a weekend BFE scheduled for the middle of September. I’ve already paid for the escort’s plane ticket. He has told me a very good rate because we already have an established relationship via the Internet. I would like to treat him well and appropriately so I have been wondering what the appropriate tip is if at all. Any wisdom that anyone here has I would greatly appreciate!

 

Another reply from not-an-escort. I can hardly believe no one has made a 'just the tip' joke, the forum really is dropping off.

 

I can tell you that if I enjoyed time together, I would add a tip, but nothing comparable to restaurant pectentage tipping. I usually also bring a small gift to the session, hopefully something related to some conversation we've had, which is mostly meant to reassure that I'm listening to what they say and see them as a person, in the hopes that will be returned.

[MassageDrew]

@FTM Zachary Prince Can you give a general rundown of the kinds of operational expenses you have? I didn’t realize there was much of this.

 

I’m curious as well. A friend of mine hired an escort for a weekend and decided to cover all expenses - flights, hotel, meals/drinks, in-town transportation, and others like tickets to a ball game. The only thing the escort had to pay for was pay his transportation to get to the airport and come to see my friend. So I’d be curious what these operating expenses include.

[Guest]

@FTM Zachary Prince, I’m curious. If I were an accountant who billed my clients by the hour, a vacation has double cost to me - the cost of not billing for my time plus the cost of the vacation destination. While, in this case, the escort is not technically “on vacation” they are getting the trip to a fun place for as part of the deal and my guess is having fun as well. I also presume that, if the client were an ogre, they would have quoted a price accordingly, without discount.

 

While I acknowledge that one can’t pay rent “with fun,” in the spirit of reciprocity, doesn’t this opportunity for an all expense paid trip with someone who’s not an ogre weigh into consideration?

[+ Reisr30]

Perhaps I have been brainwashed by the US service industry but unless the meeting is awful I always tip. If the meeting is outstanding I tip more generously.

 

I just feel odd not tipping unless the service is super crappy...

[+ nycman]

Generally, I don’t tip the owner of the business.

 

Nonetheless, on occasion I tip an escort if I feel

they have gone above and beyond the call of duty

and I had a very enjoyable time with them.

 

One sure fire way not to get a tip from me?

......ask for it or act as though you expect it.

[FTM Zachary Prince]

@FTM Zachary Prince, I’m curious. If I were an accountant who billed my clients by the hour, a vacation has double cost to me - the cost of not billing for my time plus the cost of the vacation destination. While, in this case, the escort is not technically “on vacation” they are getting the trip to a fun place for as part of the deal and my guess is having fun as well. I also presume that, if the client were an ogre, they would have quoted a price accordingly, without discount.

 

While I acknowledge that one can’t pay rent “with fun,” in the spirit of reciprocity, doesn’t this opportunity for an all expense paid trip with someone who’s not an ogre weigh into consideration?

 

LOL @ anyone who thinks escorts base our pricing for companionship on mainstream society’s ideas about who is attractive and who is an “ogre”. You have some seriously wrong ideas about what it takes to succeed as an escort. People who are that shallow don’t last long in this industry. We charge for our time and companionship. Plain and simple. Whether you’re an ogre, an elf, a faerie, a hobbit, a troll, a bear or a fox. Just be over the age of 18... and leave your ego about your “non-ogre” status at the door.

 

If you really think that the majority of our clients are seriously ugly and that you’re some kind of special snowflake for being normal-looking, you have some internalized issues to work through... We charge for our time because it’s valuable and we are providing a service. And because living under capitalism requires money, and sexual entertainers/healers deserve to earn well and live comfortably if we are talented at our jobs. Not because our clients are ugly. The value of our companionship service don’t decrease just because you consider yourself to be better looking than average.

[FTM Zachary Prince]

@FTM Zachary Prince Can you give a general rundown of the kinds of operational expenses you have? I didn’t realize there was much of this.

 

Maybe start a new thread about this. There are numberous expenses involved in escorting and I’m not in the mood to draw up a comprehensive list on my own. I kind of feel like you’re being intellectually lazy, too. There are some blatantly obvious operational expenses that every small business owner has to deal with. Perhaps google could help you learn about those. If you think every escort is a college boy stuffing cash under his mattress and that our clients magically find us for free with no financial investments on our part, then you’re really in some kind of unrealistic fantasy-land... that’s simply not how it works.

[Guest]

LOL @ anyone who thinks escorts base our pricing for companionship on mainstream society’s ideas about who is attractive and who is an “ogre”.

 

Let me rephrase: the definition of an ogre is “a cruel or terrifying person”; I wasn’t referring to the lovable but unsightly Shrek... so, I repeat:

 

[uSER=16943]

While I acknowledge that one can’t pay rent “with fun,” in the spirit of reciprocity, doesn’t this opportunity for an all expense paid trip with someone who’s not an ogre weigh into consideration?[/uSER]

[uSER=16943][/user]

[uSER=16943][/user]

[Pepper Young]

Getting back to tipping, and bare in mind I'm a client too, so I'd say that no tip is required. It sounds like you have an ongoing relationship which means you've been paying him along the way. Also, for a weekend (whether one day or two), you also have to pay for not only his time but his travel expenses, food, incidentals, etc. If you feel compelled to tip him, wait for his birthday or Christmas.

[TruthBTold]

In reading the above posts I came away with more questions than going in. For instance, what is meant by "going beyond the providing of normal services"? Or how do you decide how much to tip? Is it like a hairstylist- barber who you normally go to (i.e., a tradesman whose salary is not artificially low) versus a waitperson where you tip a certain amount based on the fact that their wage is generally artificially low and your tip fills in the gap? Do providers ever set their rates assuming they will get a tip? Thanks.

[FTM Zachary Prince]

In reading the above posts I came away with more questions than going in. For instance, what is meant by "going beyond the providing of normal services"? Or how do you decide how much to tip? Is it like a hairstylist- barber who you normally go to (i.e., a tradesman whose salary is not artificially low) versus a waitperson where you tip a certain amount based on the fact that their wage is generally artificially low and your tip fills in the gap? Do providers ever set their rates assuming they will get a tip? Thanks.

 

Some providers do set their rate assuming that they will upcharge for extras, but I think that’s a slightly different issue than tipping. Although some providers do set their rate slightly below a number that is easier to “round up” to, in which case they might find that most of their clients do in fact round up as a tip. For example, charging $275 or $280 per hour. A lot of clients are going to go ahead and give $300. But mostly... no. Tips are generally not expected for normal service. Just always appreciated!

 

How can a provider go above and beyond normal expected service? Here are some examples...

 

- You booked an hour. 65 minutes into the session, you still haven’t come, but you also clearly really want to (you keep mentioning how close you are). Your escort keeps going for another ten minutes to get you there. Then, instead of rushing out since you are already 15 minutes overtime, he winds things down in a natural-feeling way. By the time he leaves, it’s been an hour and 25 minutes. He went above and beyond.

 

- Your regular provider knows that you have a serious jock fantasy. He tells you to meet him somewhere unusual. Turns out he’s arranged an empty locker room and when you show up, he’s dressed in sports gear of your liking. Fulfills your fantasy in a way that goes far above and beyond what you were expecting.

 

- Your regular escort knows that you love scotch, since you usually drink together during your outcalls. He also knows that your house is currently being renovated and you’re stuck in a hotel temporarily. He picks up a bottle of your favourite type before heading over to your room, paid for out of his pocket. Above and beyond.

[Floridasexman]

You mentioned that the escort gave you a very good rate because you already have an established relationship online. That’s a very sweet gesture on his part. Sometimes escorts do this, because they want you to agree to the extended booking and want to make you feel special... and then regret it later. It’s not because we change our minds about you being very special after all. It’s just that getting paid less than our standard rates can bother us EVEN IF IT WAS OUR IDEA! Sometimes we are under economic pressure to get you to agree to the trip or simply feeling generous in the moment when we give the quote. Then oops, later we wish we hadn’t offered such a generous discount. I’m not saying everyone does this, but it’s a relatively COMMON story that I hear. This can make us reluctant to give our very best service or agree to repeat trips, just because of our subconscious irritation with ourselves for underquoting the value of our labor. Whether an escort has made a mistake in underquoting or completely knew what he was doing and quoted you an amount that he feels GREAT about is impossible to know, and probably depends on how experienced he is as an escort, among other factors.

 

What in the world does all this have to do with tipping? Well, if he shows you the time of your life, you might consider tipping an amount that brings his total compensation (not including the flight) closer to whatever his actual/published rate would be for that amount of time normally. Match his generous gesture of a discounted session with a generous gesture of paying the full amount anyway. As a tip. If your experience is great. It can go a long way in establishing a positive and generous dynamic between you two in the ongoing future.

 

Tipping is not “expected” when it comes to hiring escorts in the USA. But it can definitely mean a lot to us and is highly appreciated. We often go “above and beyond” for clients in terms of what we bring to the table, and it’s always heart-warming to have the extra effort acknowledged with a tip. That said, if someone barely fulfills their end of the bargain, of course you might not feel inclined to give one, and that is also perfectly fine.

 

I also want to note that as small business owners, most escorts keep nowhere near 100% of the fee we charge. We typically have operational expenses that eat up a decent chunk of that sticker price. But I agree that tipping your waiter/waitress is totally different because they do not set the price of their own labor and are paid an extremely low hourly wage that ASSUMES there will be tips involved, and that’s definitely not the case with most independent escorts either.

Apprently you are an intelligent person who knows the business well. I am hiring an escort for a weekend and would like very much to make it memorable for both of us. Why are three things that will tip the weekend im that direction.

[boiledeggz]

Seriously, why do you care what they think? They took the job agreeing to the terms. They're supposed to be serving your needs. Hell they're paid to do so. Who cares what they think, their job is to pretend they're having an amazing time. Their job is to create a fantasy. It's not an actual date where you have to offer the best version of yourself to get another date. You just pay them. I see so much of this weird deference shown to escort on here. Some of the posters here seem really hard up for companionship.

 

Of course there has to be mutual respect, but I see so much over the top efforts to please the escort. It's a transaction, stop deluding yourself they actually care.

[Smurof]

QUOTE Some of the posters here seem really hard up for companionship.

 

It's more so that the ones who appear to be most in common with our likes happen to not live close. Those that hire are not hard up for money, and see many people with this method. I agree with the majority here that getting them a nice gift of something they like (and really it would take balls to tell you some more money, but if that's the case and you liked your experience, go for it)!

[+ Eric Hassan]

Seriously, why do you care what they think? They took the job agreeing to the terms. They're supposed to be serving your needs. Hell they're paid to do so. Who cares what they think, their job is to pretend they're having an amazing time. Their job is to create a fantasy. It's not an actual date where you have to offer the best version of yourself to get another date. You just pay them. I see so much of this weird deference shown to escort on here. Some of the posters here seem really hard up for companionship.

 

Of course there has to be mutual respect, but I see so much over the top efforts to please the escort. It's a transaction, stop deluding yourself they actually care.

 

What I read here is that you think that escorts are being paid to do a job and that the rate we ask is fair for us to do that job without needing or expecting a tip. I agree with you.

 

At the end, you stated "stop deluding yourself that they actually care." I just want you to know that I care. I do this work because I care about other human beings and this is work that matches well with my skill set and passions. There might be some folks who don't care, and that's OK - there are TONS of us who do.

[+ lookingforfunny]

The tip should be included in their price. This is just like escorts charging more for an outcall and then asking you to Uber them to you. That is ridiculous. I should pay more to host?

 

Tipping was a learning curve for me. I have learned better as I have inquired about things in the forum and worked with good providers. Sometimes, I ask, what do I get for being a superior client? You should receive outstanding or superior service for the escort’s fee. Some do not deserve their full fee and some are not priced according to their experience.

 

A good warning: if someone even mentions a tip in advance, they are an amateur and you are destined for a bad experience. Mark my words. Almost guaranteed. Similarly, those who ask for payment up front. They have a plan to escape halfway through the exercise.

[+ OliverSaks]

The tip should be included in their price. This is just like escorts charging more for an outcall and then asking you to Uber them to you. That is ridiculous. I should pay more to host?

 

Tipping was a learning curve for me. I have learned better as I have inquired about things in the forum and worked with good providers. Sometimes, I ask, what do I get for being a superior client? You should receive outstanding or superior service for the escort’s fee. Some do not deserve their full fee and some are not priced according to their experience.

 

A good warning: if someone even mentions a tip in advance, they are an amateur and you are destined for a bad experience. Mark my words. Almost guaranteed. Similarly, those who ask for payment up front. They have a plan to escape halfway through the exercise.

Why shouldn’t you expect to pay a little more if someone makes a housecall to you and adds additional time to his work day ... I’m not sure you really thought that one through.