NO-SHOWS/SHORT NOTICE CANCELLATIONS

[+ WhamIAm]

Even a simple confirmation that the guy is definitely not going to show would be useful ("can't make it -- so sorry"). Years ago, in a Dallas hotel, I couldn't sleep because I had given the guy my room number and I was sure that, any minute, he would show up at my door even though I hadn't heard from him for hours. I think I finally succumbed to a deep sleep somewhere around 3:30....

 

I had the reverse problem. Set up an in-call to an escort's hotel. Texted/called him a couple of times from the hotel lobby. Left after about 25-30 minutes, but got stressed out thinking he might be unconscious in a ditch somewhere. Couple of hours later, his "Available Now" light was on. Then I thought he might look good in that ditch.

[marylander1940]

I had the reverse problem. Set up an in-call to an escort's hotel. Texted/called him a couple of times from the hotel lobby. Left after about 25-30 minutes, but got stressed out thinking he might be unconscious in a ditch somewhere. Couple of hours later, his "Available Now" light was on. Then I thought he might look good in that ditch.

 

He won't last in the business with this kind of behavior.

 

Flakiness unfortunately goes both way, as @bnm73 said: "once bitten, twice shy".

[hypothetically]

How do you deal with clients who cancel on short notice or no-show for appointments? Do you institute a cancellation fee (or kill fee) when they attempt to book with you again? Do you simply refuse to see them?

 

[block Contact]

I don’t care the reason.

Because if “it’s okay,” you’re normalizing bad behavior, when really, as a provider you should be reinforcing “no respect for my time, no dick.”

[Rudynate]

So... I'm one of the guys who pays the negotiated fee when I have to cancel on short notice. Not bragging about it, nor do I see it as an act of generosity. As a consultant I sell my time too, so for me this is a matter of respect. And karma -- I do onto others as I hope they'd do onto me and others.

 

What goes around comes around. My schedule can hit the skids if I miss a plane or have a more than anticipated time-c0nsuming client. As a practical matter, it does help create some trust and willingness of the part of the escort to accommodate me in the future. Twice I've had guys decline the offer for payment because they appreciated the gesture, and then change their schedules for me. Doesn't always happen, but feels good when it does.

 

 

I did that not long ago. I cancelled with less than 24 hours notice. I paid him the full fee on Venmo.

[adventurous old guy]

I did that not long ago. I cancelled with less than 24 hours notice. I paid him the full fee on Venmo.

So my biggest regret in this space is a date I had in DC with Alec Andrews when we overlapped there. We'd had a really fun flirty planning call and I was so jacked to top his beautiful bum. For those of you who know DC, he was staying at the JWMarriott. I was literally 1 block away at the Occidental Grille with a client -- my biggest client -- who just learned that he had won a HUGE contract because of help I gave him. He insisted on celebrating, and it was hard to say no. Couple texts to Alec asking if we could push back, he was great. Then, having reached a certain blood alcohol level the client dove off the ledge with personal problems -- he was drunk and pouring out his soul as the waiter continued to pour wine. Then Bourb0n. Dinner past, we moved to the bar. More pouring there, couple more texts to Alec. Progressing, the bar was closing but the bartender kept pouring. He was in an empathetic mood and drinking with us-- his Audi had been stolen from outside the restaurant, he'd called the police and they'd told him it was most likely in pieces by now. I'm not making this up. Final text --or was it email -- around 11 PM to Alec, apologized and paid in full via PayPal. Got a very nice thank you for being a stand up guy.

 

And then...Alec retired. insert existential sigh here.

 

Bottom line, very memorable night. The bartender and I still talk about it. But I never got to meet -- or plow -- Alec. So Alec, if you're still on this forum and ever come out of retirement, I hope I have some kind of karmic credit in the bank. :rolleyes:

 

Memories...misty water-colored memories...of the way we weren't.

Edited November 1, 2018 by adventurous old guy

[Rudynate]

So my biggest regret in this space is a date I had in DC with Alec Andrews when we overlapped there. We'd had a really fun flirty planning call and I was so jacked to top his beautiful bum. For those of you who know DC, he was staying at the JWMarriott. I was literally 1 block away at the Occidental Grille with a client -- my biggest client -- who just learned that he had won a HUGE contract because of help I gave him. He insisted on celebrating, and it was hard to say no. Couple texts to Alec asking if we could push back, he was great. Then, having reached a certain blood alcohol level the client dove off the ledge with personal problems -- he was drunk and pouring out his soul as the waiter continued to pour wine. Then Bourb0n. Dinner past, we moved to the bar. More pouring there, couple more texts to Alec. Progressing, the bar was closing but the bartender kept pouring. He was in an empathetic mood and drinking with us-- his Audi had been stolen from outside the restaurant, he'd called the police and they'd told him it was most likely in pieces by now. I'm not making this up. Final text --or was it email -- around 11 PM to Alec, apologized and paid in full via PayPal. Got a very nice thank you for being a stand up guy.

 

And then...Alec retired. insert existential sigh here.

 

Bottom line, very memorable night. The bartender and I still talk about it. But I never got to meet -- or plow -- Alec. So Alec, if you're still on this forum and ever come out of retirement, I hope I have some kind of karmic credit in the bank. :rolleyes:

 

Memories...misty water-colored memories...of the way we weren't.

[Rudynate]

I had several phone conversations with Alec. I was completely caught off guard by his charm and good manners.

[Beancounter]

From personal contact with other escorts/porn stars in the business...there’s just a lot of flakiness going on.

 

Based on my experience, I think majority of it has to do with drug use. I had an aspiring provider show up to my hotel higher than a kite. We had lots of fun, but our 2nd attempt to meet...hours went by without a response, followed by: “hi, sorry” the next morning. It’s more prevalent than I care to imagine.

Your RM link returns a 404 message. Are you no longer escorting?

[BabyBoomer]

Your RM link returns a 404 message. Are you no longer escorting?

 

I posted the working link in post #34.

 

~Boomer~

[Wolfer]

The cancelling is annoying but it's good that they at least let you know something. What I find really frustrating is when they ghost you when you try to reschedule.

 

This is happening to me right now... I had confirmed a date with an escort (already met him before) in Paris. So after he confirmed our date an time, I book my tickets to Paris.

Yesterday I double check that we're still confirmed and this morning I wake up to find a message from the escort that ooops he got his schedule wrong and has to cancel.

 

So I ask him if we can meet up today instead (our original date was to be tomorrow). He's been online since I texted him, even logged in to his profiles yet hasn't answered.

 

Time to move on, I guess. But still...

[+ VictorPowers]

My answer would depend on the:

A Situation

B If a relationship exists

 

No shows are always bad news. Even if it’s a trusted client, it hurts to have a hole in the schedule. Likely most providers won’t tolerate a No Show from a new client. I’d say most will not let that person book again.

 

I can be lenient on cancellations. I know life happens so it isn’t too big of a deal. I have every text message in my phone, so if somebody cancels more than once, I know about it and act accordingly. My cancelation rate is very low, so this isn’t too much of a problem for me. I always ask that when a client knows they are canceling, to let me know ASAP.

[+ Keith30309]

Grrrr :mad:

 

Set up appt with a Houston new guy for 7:30 early this week... busted ass to get from airport to my hotel... At 7:00 I get:

I just noticed I wasn't clear on my previous texts haha. I just got home coming back from helping one of the girls that I used to work with. I'm having to feed my (dogs) and take then out. I'm so sorry. Let's reschedule.

Now, of course, I’m scrambling for a plan B... unsuccessfully.

 

I’m completely astonished at how casually some people toss away a half month’s rent.

[adventurous old guy]

Grrrr :mad:

 

Set up appt with a Houston new guy for 7:30 early this week... busted ass to get from airport to my hotel... At 7:00 I get:

I just noticed I wasn't clear on my previous texts haha. I just got home coming back from helping one of the girls that I used to work with. I'm having to feed my (dogs) and take then out. I'm so sorry. Let's reschedule.

Now, of course, I’m scrambling for a plan B... unsuccessfully.

 

I’m completely astonished at how casually some people toss away a half month’s rent.

At least you got a half-assed excuse. Had a recent experience where there was lots of communication almost up to the appt time, and then with no signal whatsoever the guy just didn't show up. Worried me that he was mugged on the way or something like that. But he was advertising as available again the next day, so...

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/any-411-on-this-dc-guy.138563/#post-1619048

[Floridasexman]

At least you got a half-assed excuse. Had a recent experience where there was lots of communication almost up to the appt time, and then with no signal whatsoever the guy just didn't show up. Worried me that he was mugged on the way or something like that. But he was advertising as available again the next day, so...

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/any-411-on-this-dc-guy.138563/#post-1619048

I would rather a provider not show at all than show up and be a complete disappointment. And then expect to be paid on full.

[adventurous old guy]

I would rather a provider not show at all than show up and be a complete disappointment. And then expect to be paid on full.

Yup, that's worse.

[Dave]

So... I'm one of the guys who pays the negotiated fee when I have to cancel on short notice... As a practical matter, it does help create some trust and willingness of the part of the escort to accommodate me in the future.

 

Adventurous Old Guy, I'm really glad you can recognize this. so much of our work has roots of dealing with people who are not, essentially, trustworthy.

 

I'm not saying all clients are not trustworthy... I'm saying the industry of escorting probably has a much higher percentage of people who frequently lie, than other industries. to hear that you realize how important trust-building is for working guys, shows how you respect us.

 

the flip side, in case I'm not being clear, are clients who objectify us... and if they change their mind and cancel an appointment, they think "it's not a big deal" to the escort, "he can just get another client that night." it's rare when clients realize that we escorts are usually excited about the upcoming appointment, too.

[Dave]

I have not shown up only once in the past year and I sent the escort $200. I was on my way and daughter had a seizure. I had to go home. I on the other hand have been flaked by 5 escorts on the past 6 months. I mean like I am there after a 30 or 40min drive sometimes at 5pm in Boston on Friday after paying $20 for parking then I am flaked on. I do not think there is any easy answer.

 

arrrghh, I hate hearing about escorts who flake. it's almost as maddening as hearing about clients who flake.

 

I cancelled ONE appointment in the decade-plus that I've been escorting. ONE! I'm very fukkin' proud of that because, I can only imagine what goes through a client's head when a provider cancels on him or her. I don't want to behave like that.

 

and just to clarify - that one time... my dog developed "twisted stomach" that morning. by noon I had to put him down at the vet's office. my appointment was for 5pm that day, and although I could have made it, I... I just was not in any sexual/fun/social mood. I called my client and cancelled, explaining what happened. I knew he had 4 dogs, and I knew he'd understand - which he did.

[Dave]

OK, full disclosure: I'm on this forum right now because I just had a no show. And I'm traveling in Malaysia, so... well, I'm only here to work.

 

3pm appointment. I am flying in earlier than planned to make this work for this guy, a new guy I've not seen before. Airport to hotel is a bit of a rush, and up to room... check the aircon, set up the lighting, shower/shave/shit, brush teeth again, and pull the gear I think we'll need from my luggage. Suddenly, my son calls me to chat - from the USA - which we do for a bit, but I have to tell him, I gotta go, because I have an appointment soon. He understands (he knows what sort of work I do), but I think I hear a wistfulness in his voice as we say bye.

 

Back to my 3:00... I have exactly eight minutes left to get ready. I spend a few thinking about what I know about this guy. A few more getting my laptop and speaker set and some chill music going. Another minute to see that the bathroom looks ok... and that there's water for him... and a minute more to calm down and sit. I'm excited, it will be fun.

 

The time is 3:01. Phew, I made it.

The time is 3:01. Hmmm, where is he? I asked him to call me when five minutes from the hotel.

 

And now... i's 3:05. I ponder, when did I last hear from him? Two days ago? He was emailing after we spoke and - gee, I guess he first contacted me about five days ago... so I think he's serious and is gonna show. And now... it's 3:10. I call.

 

His phone rings, he answers, and he hangs up. Not a good sign.

 

A minute later a message comes in: "So sorry actually my boss this morning send me Ipoh to take his family to visit his auntie house who just pass away"

 

Ipoh, I google-map it, is a 2.5 hour drive away.

 

I am pissed. I don't even know if his explanation is real or not. And it doesn't matter. "this morning"??? Why the fuck didnt he write me, this morning? Or early this afternoon? Why did nothing come in to me at... 2pm?? Why did I have to contact him, to hear this excuse???????

Next message, a minute later: "I'm so sorry dear will get u back soon."

 

REALLY?!?!? Meanwhile, I had another client who wanted this time slot... but several days ago I told him I'm already booked then, can we figure another date? Alas, that was his only availability (in the past, some people have suggested I call clients back when that happens, but actually... I'm not that sort of escort).

 

So at the moment, I'm alone here in my hotel room. And I realize, I'm hungry. I never ate lunch. Didn't have time for it earlier.

[adventurous old guy]

Adventurous Old Guy, I'm really glad you can recognize this. so much of our work has roots of dealing with people who are not, essentially, trustworthy.

 

I'm not saying all clients are not trustworthy... I'm saying the industry of escorting probably has a much higher percentage of people who frequently lie, than other industries. to hear that you realize how important trust-building is for working guys, shows how you respect us.

 

the flip side, in case I'm not being clear, are clients who objectify us... and if they change their mind and cancel an appointment, they think "it's not a big deal" to the escort, "he can just get another client that night." it's rare when clients realize that we escorts are usually excited about the upcoming appointment, too.

Dave, we're on the same page, and I like the basic human respect that comes through in your post. Trustworthiness and kindness, two things I wish I saw more of in the world.

 

AOG

 

PS -- bummer about the Malaysia experience. That sucks.

[Dave]

Dave, we're on the same page, and I like the basic human respect that comes through in your post. Trustworthiness and kindness, two things I wish I saw more of in the world.

 

AOG

 

PS -- bummer about the Malaysia experience. That sucks.

 

thanks -

 

24 hours later, and I've seen two different people here. both appointments were amazing.

the highs and lows of escorting... someone should write a book

[ncc1701d]

I realize this thread is about clients flaking on escorts, but I as a client have had a disproportionally large number of flakes in the last 2-3 months ...my "favourite" is still a visiting one who confirmed the day before and as I'm downstairs at his rental condo at the appointed time he now text me to say he's got an eye infection and can't see me. Needless to say I didn't buy that for a moment that he just noticed his eyes are infected (as suppose to when he woke up...out appointment was a midday one). Then he had the nerve to text me again a few weeks later asking if I want to still meet!!!! When I told him I don't as I don't enjoy having my time wasted, he went off saying his health is important and how dare I not respect that!!!..….Lordy I love the self-center entitlement of these millennials who seems to all have skipped kindergarten lesson about common courtesy and to keep your word!!!

Edited November 17, 2018 by ncc1701d

[+ FrankR]

I realize this thread is about clients flaking on escorts, but I as a client have had a disproportionally large number of flakes in the last 2-3 months ...my "favourite" is still a visiting one who confirmed the day before and as I'm downstairs at his rental condo at the appointed time he now text me to say he's got an eye infection and can't see me. Needless to say I didn't buy that for a moment that he just noticed his eyes are infected (as suppose to when he woke up...out appointment was a midday one). Then he had the nerve to text me again a few weeks later asking if I want to still meet!!!! When I told him I don't as I don't enjoy having my time wasted, he went off saying his health is important and how dare I not respect that!!!..….Lordy I love the self-center entitlement of these millennials who seems to all have skipped kindergarten lesson about common courtesy and to keep your word!!!

My response to flakes: thank you, next!