Home Health Companion

[Deadlift1]

I have a male friend who is a home health aide/companion. His last assignment recently passed at the age of 94. Hearing that many of the elder gentlemen from this site are having health problems gave me an idea. I thought if i ever needed assistance I would want a gay one. My friend is gay and originally from Budapest. 55 6ft 189 built. He cooks cleans the house as well as many other talents. Does anyone know where someone like this could advertise to a gay clientele? He is currently in NYC. Thanks

[bnm73]

I can appreciate the thought, but if he gets clients via a state/federal program or by referral from an agency (implied as it was his last "assignment" that passed), then he might not get to pick his clients, much less their sexual orientation (a protected class in NY, if I remember right). Anti-discrimination laws and all that.

[+ HornyRetiree]

I can appreciate the thought, but if he gets clients via a state/federal program or by referral from an agency (implied as it was his last "assignment" that passed), then he might not get to pick his clients, much less their sexual orientation (a protected class in NY, if I remember right). Anti-discrimination laws and all that.

 

Couldn't he arrange by private contract. I have often wondered about this type of care later in life - I too would want a Gay Male and I would hope they were comfortable with massaging and HE -- manually if not orally.

[bnm73]

Couldn't he arrange by private contract. I have often wondered about this type of care later in life - I too would want a Gay Male and I would hope they were comfortable with massaging and HE -- manually if not orally.

 

Becoming an independent home health aide often involves additional hoops, since you may have to get business licenses and additional certifications depending on state and local laws. You also would have to do the paperwork so that Medicare/insurance could pay you (instead of paying the person who pays you). It can be done, but speaking as a small businessman, there are several things you have to keep in mind when getting set up.

[+ Kman]

The clients I see for therapy who have their own aides are able to pick out who they want in their home based on whatever agency they went through. At least in MN, if you aren’t going through medical assistance you are paying privately so I would think someone advertising on rent men could advertise for home health services.

[Deadlift1]

He is not a citizen and gets most assignments through an employment agency or word of mouth. Hes got a cute muscular butt and nice package.

[Deadlift1]

The clients I see for therapy who have their own aides are able to pick out who they want in their home based on whatever agency they went through. At least in MN, if you aren’t going through medical assistance you are paying privately so I would think someone advertising on rent men could advertise for home health services.

Good idea KMan. Most families that i know hire and pay privately in this area,

[bnm73]

He is not a citizen and gets most assignments through an employment agency or word of mouth. Hes got a cute muscular butt and nice package.

So is he wanting to be a legit health care provider or an escort catering to older clients? You're kind of giving off mixed signals.

[+ sniper]

When you say not a citizen do you mean undocumented? That might hinder how he lists himself, but if he has a green card I would think he could contact SAGE and notify them that he is a gay-friendly care provider.

 

https://sagenyc.org/nyc/

[+ Kman]

So is he wanting to be a legit health care provider or an escort catering to older clients? You're kind of giving off mixed signals.

 

Could be both...seems like a lot of elderly people get depressed and lonely and why not have a great looking guy at your side..:not necessarily for sex

[Deadlift1]

he is an undocumented private health care worker that cooks cleans bathes and gets employment by word of mouth. He does not have a green card. It is quite common. I just thought that him being gay is a nice add on. Not as an escort but would give a rub and a tug too. Thats what I would want.

[Deadlift1]

Could be both...seems like a lot of elderly people get depressed and lonely and why not have a great looking guy at your side..:not necessarily for sex

Exactly!

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

For her last 10 years of life or so, my grandmother had an in-house companion that did not provide medical care, other than making sure she got her medications at breakfast and dinner. (Grandma lived to the age of 99.)

 

The companion's responsibilities were relatively straight-forward. Prepare meals for her and clean up afterward, bring in the morning paper and the daily mail, feed the dog, and let the dog in and out of the back door. After she broke a leg, she also needed some help getting between her wheelchair and bed. Perhaps the most important role the companion played was simply watching TV with her, helping with the crossword puzzle, or just chatting. She also had someone with her overnight so she had someone with her pretty much around the clock.

 

All this was paid for without insurance. (Thus on weekends, I would take a shift as the companion. Grandma liked that because I would let her order pizza. and a sister would take a couple of week nights.) Somewhere along the line, we also had a visiting nurse that came in three times a week to provide bathing and take vitals. The visiting nurse was fully covered by Medicare (or other of her insurance.)

 

We got companions from a couple of private agencies, one was owned by a member of our church and another a referral from her physician. Typically we were rotating a team of five or six ladies staying with her. Over time, additional companions came from referrals from friends, her visiting nurse looking for extra $$$, and a college student that wanted to do nights as studying at her house was more effective than trying to study at the library.

[JohnGerman]

Similar arrangements are actually quite common in China nowadays. Many older men, most of them widowed, and often with the implicit approval from their grown up children, hire live-in helpers/nannies/house aids/companions/or whatever you want to call them. Those helpers are often poor middle aged women from the countryside, either unmarried or widowed themselves. They live with the men, do housework during the day and sleep together at night. These arrangements often end when the men die.

[+ Avalon]

Over the years I've had the ambulance come and take me to the hospital twice and the rescue squad come twice to get me up after I had fallen. To be honest I didn't care what their gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, politics etc. was.

 

That said one time in the hospital I asked for a male nurse but was told that would not be possible. No modesty in the hospital.

[Guest]

he is an undocumented private health care worker that cooks cleans bathes and gets employment by word of mouth. He does not have a green card. It is quite common. I just thought that him being gay is a nice add on. Not as an escort but would give a rub and a tug too. Thats what I would want.

 

Hmm. If I were elderly and in need of help, I might consider marrying someone in that situation if that would help with his legal status. I don't know the legalities, of course. Maybe someone here knows if marriage can lead to a green card for someone even if they were undocumented at the time of the marriage... I also don't know if pre-nuptial agreements can specify any frequency of intimate contact for the marriage to be considered valid?

[DR FREUD]

What do people pay for these 24/7 services?

[Wolfer]

Hmm. If I were elderly and in need of help, I might consider marrying someone in that situation if that would help with his legal status. I don't know the legalities, of course. Maybe someone here knows if marriage can lead to a green card for someone even if they were undocumented at the time of the marriage... I also don't know if pre-nuptial agreements can specify any frequency of intimate contact for the marriage to be considered valid?

Going off of Elizabeth Gilbert's account in her memoir, Eat, Pray, Love, before 9/11, apparently it wasn't much trouble to get a green card through marriage, even if you were undocumented at the time of. But the marriage did have to be real.

This all changed after 9/11 when new laws were passed. And with the current administration all bets could be off.

[+ sniper]

What do people pay for these 24/7 services?

Well seven years ago I had one for a family member that was through an agency and it was $230 a day back then. Off the books with an individual would have been anywhere from $100-$140. With the off-the books there's more variation I would imagine based on things like how much time you are giving them for themselves and just what level of help the person needs.(and, frankly, how pleasant the patient is to be around...).

[+ nycman]

What do people pay for these 24/7 services?

Much like escort rates.....it’s all over the place.

 

A lot depends on location and the services being requested.

 

“Someone to sit with grandma and play bridge”....is usually pretty cheap.

 

“Someone to cook, clean, bathe and live with bed bound demented grandma who bites?”....can be very expensive.

 

In rural Alabama?....dirt cheap.....in the Hamptons?....a fortune.

[+ WilliamM]

Years ago elderly Groucho Marx married a young woman naned Erin. She ran his life. Erin was dislikedd by everyone, But, Erin helped Groucho thru one final, succesful appearance at Charnegie Hall - a huge success, showing how much Groucho was still loved.

[+ Charlie]

An old friend of our had a stroke at 70 that put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He moved to a new home and hired a younger gay man, who had been a tenant of his in San Francisco, to live with him and take care of all his needs (non-sexual). I don't know how much he paid him in addition to his free room and board and a car. After several years, however, the personal relationship soured, and then the trouble began, because it was difficult to get rid of him, since it was not a formal contractual relationship, and lawyers were engaged on both sides. It was only resolved by the unexpected death of the younger man. Then our friend hired a young gay aide through an agency, who came in for several hours a day, and although it meant that he was alone much more of the time, he was happier with the set-up. I don't know how much it cost, or how well the situation would have worked out in the long run, because our friend died in his sleep several months later.

[Deadlift1]

$15 to $20 /hr depending on the condition of the client. They work a 5/2 day work week. He is often paid by an attorney as the client has no living relatives. They are usually pretty mean he said. The clients with no relatives that is.

Edited August 7, 2018 by Deadlift1