TallMuscl37

I recently signed up for dayuse app myself. I haven’t used it yet, however there’s 3 hotels participating in the city I live near. Which is okay, but in the future I will start using them if I need to arrange things earlier than a typical hotel will allow.
However, from my observations they are mainly only available in bigger metros. And sometimes the rate could be close to what booking for the night somewhere could be. However the advantage is that earlier check in. 
 
I’m also going to start referring clients to use it themselves, if I’m not hosting on a particular day and the client can’t host either. 

I’ll just add another thing regarding price points and stuff: I’m reaching a stage where I don’t know if $200/$250 sessions are sustainable much longer. Even though RentMasseur is supposed to be geared towards massages, truth is a lot of people go there looking for “other” services. The issue is: some are willing to pay $500, the majority seem to expect $60, $80, $100. $150 max. 
 
The problem this presents for me is: if I’m going to appease the lower end of the rates, I have to be taking much higher volume than I’ve been seeing in the past couple years. It used to be okay in the Craigslist days to have clients calling and texting daily, and I had an open in-call space to host from. However the issue with volume is, the wear and tear (not literal) on my body and health.
 
That means I have to be traveling often, and taking clients one after the next. And in conversing with a member here the other day, all that hotel staying sometimes leads to random illness here and there, which is the worst to happen during a trip. I’ve also had a helluva time trying to find discreet enough apartments in St. Louis area (many are built where the neighbors door is right next to each other) and I’m not into multi-level buildings due to the moving and even grocery inconvenience it causes.
 
The location I share now is very discreet and easy, but I can’t have 2-3 clients a day in and out with a part time roommate. 
 
And then, when I offer promotional sessions, people aren’t always jumping on it right away. I might get one or 2, and only when I’m available right that moment to take it. Like this past week: I got hit with a $1,000 repair repair bill: yet I had 0 bookings last week. I had to use money set aside up from previous bookings to cover it. Now I’m setback and have to somehow try to come back up again, and make that money back. And I know it’s unlikely to happen in my local area because all the ecstatic Kansas City fans are spending money to go to Las Vegas or host Super Bowl parties, so I need to once again plan a tour. 
I feel the best solution is to transition to somewhere between $350 to $500 for a meet. Not an “hour”, a meet. Simply because I know most clients only want to stay for an hour or 2. Whether they want stay an hour, 90 minutes or 2: $500 is generally sufficient hypothetically. Only thing, I would hate to alienate some of the younger clients out there who wish to meet, but for them I’d have to probably come up with some sort of compromise. Maybe “$100 off for clients under 30 lol” similar to how nightclubs charge under 21 extra to get in, but in my case they’d be eligible for a discount.
Plus hotels are too goddamn expensive anymore. Couple weeks ago I hosted a regular, and I did ask him for $500 because: the hotel was $89+taxes and a $100 deposit. So basically came up to over $200. So how the fuck am I going to host a client for $150/$200/$250 when when many hotels are sucking up $200 right off the bat? It’s crazy. 
 
It’s very expensive to be a provider and people don’t understand that. It’s infuriating at times. I remember years ago, a client of mine somehow included his ATM receipt with the payment in the envelope. I remember him being generous but, he had like $27,000 in his bank account balance. I wasn’t mad but, it would make me livid to know a client doesn’t want to pay $500 versus $250, and sitting with $20,000+ in the bank account. I don’t even have $2,500 in mine right now 🤷🏾‍♂️ 
I know that’s deep stuff some people don’t want to know but, people need to understand why some of us do what we do. I can’t speak for everyone, and I’m certainly not normalizing $350+: but after the many years I been in the scene, I just feel I deserve it for every session. 
 

No surprise 🤷🏾‍♂️ 
Abercrombie has always exemplified the privilege of White, wealthy, and what defines attraction. I know they tried to clean that up awhile back, but it still goes on today…it’s even how the gay America 🌎 revolves (in many cities except maybe Atlanta and Miami proper where minorities are the majority) . It was ingrained in adolescents during the most crucial times of their lives: middle and high school. 
Even though one person doesn’t speak for an entire brand, what they promote still encourages a “mentality” among others, to make some feel inferior and others superior (convenient huh) in some way.

“The two met at Caesars Palace on Friday, Oct. 13, The victim gave McNally the code to the safe, and she stored her purse there with his personal belongings, including $50,000 in cash and $7,000 worth of casino chips, the report stated.”
 
I’m just rolling my eyes throughout the story reading this. First of all, he trusted a new woman direct access to his money. #1 mistake. Then gave the code and shared the safe, #2. It’s a safe for a reason. And #3 doing it on Friday the 13th, which is just bad juju to begin with lol. 
 
I feel bad when people make mistakes, but it also upsets me. It paints sex workers in a negative light which further criminalizes us. But he  is every much responsible for this, as she is. He should have never trusted his money around that chick in the first place. 
And it’s just more sad because men trust White men and women escorts more, and hire them sometimes over Black providers, thinking they are angels. It’s not true. They’ll rob you blind like anybody else. So, hopefully he learned his lesson.
But that woman is also foolish, because every casino in Las Vegas has a million cameras, you’re literally being filmed from the time you drive up, to the time you walk into your hotel room. And that can be several hundred feet of walking and recording lol. I learned that from a good poster here @not2rowdy when we used to meet in Las Vegas lol. 
 
Matter of fact, she also shouldn’t have stored her purse in the safe at all. Suppose the client got mad at her at the event, ditched her, changed the key card and tossed her purse? This is all stuff I’ve learned from years of experience in the biz. Like I said before, any and everything you can imagine: I’ve had it happen. I wouldn’t trust anybody I’ve just met with personal belongings.
That’s another example of: how you can get robbed whether you pay a deposit or not. He would have had better luck just using Venmo. 
 
 

I have to agree with @BOZO T CLOWNand @Vin_Marco. Even though the situation is upsetting for sure, it just doesn’t seem right. But I can’t say necessarily one way or another.
Not sure why the provider would wait until the next day, and just not when he was there to ask for the phantom payment. Why would he leave, and then…
Wait, who went to whose place on this meeting in the first place?
And I agree with @DrownedBoy, it’s no reason to drag RentMen under the bus 🚌, and jeopardize every provider’s earning or give RentMen MORE reasons to lock us down MORE than they’ve already done (no nudes, no rates, no mention of even the word escort being allowed, etc.) They have no responsibility any more than Grindr, Adam, or your local gay bar or bath house has…for something happening to you, OUTSIDE of the venue at hand. It happens. And they won’t have any grounds to be shutdown, because it’s an advertising platform with no rates. 
 
I agree you should probably just settle and pay him a portion and see if that helps. You could always flip the script and say you’re going to look him up too, but: fire and fire equals: 💣 🌋 
However, I just don’t 100% see it. I mean to go from “you can’t afford it” to him saying “let’s do it anyway” just sounds too messy and confusing. Like wtf. Even if he said let’s do it anyway, I still woulda said: “I don’t want to cheat you BUT, let’s be clear this is a free service right? And reiterate that before and during meeting, and again after if you have to. 
 
But yeah…sounds crazy. I hate hearing stuff like this because then some clients run with stories like this, and call ANY escort who asks for payment for a cancelled or session that went longer than planned/parts of a session wasn’t expected a scammer/blackmailer/etc. Hell…I even think many gay dudes think we’re scammers just for the mere fact of trying to sell our services in the first place. It’s just sad. There doesn’t need to be all this animosity in the biz if people were just transparent from the get go. 

So many scammers asking for a deposit and no show - so naw, I don't do deposits. 

Dude, stop ✋🏾 You’re always talking about somebody whining, complaining and moaning. YOU are the one doing it the most! All I said is, if someone is LOOKING on a site where those who are there are paying $100 to advertise: there shouldn’t be a surprise if there are some who choose to ask for a monetary confirmation.
I don’t know where you get $100 for a ad being a reason to take deposits. I was referring to the costs of doing other things, such as upfront hotel and/or travel or even just local outcalls where the possibility of getting stood up is present.

And, what are you going to do about it? Don’t like it, stop reading it ✌you have so much to say, yet so little alternative to offer. You’re part of the pack mentality I refer. Big part. 

I was simply quoting what you said. It’s fine if you decided to double-back and edit what you meant, but regardless of how you sweet n low or Splenda it up: You can’t get miffed because I agreed with what YOU said 🤷🏾‍♂️ Yes the numbers will show that the average and majority on RM are flakes and regardless of which side it is, browser or advertiser: we both have to do things to protect their time. However, it’s never going to carry the same weight. 
I’m not really here to say how clients should do that. I’m just making suggestion as it pertains to this topic of deposits.  
 

Y’all did what you had to do, in that situation. Doesn’t matter what anyone else would have done. There also isn’t an indication of how long “it” lasted before “shit” happened. Was it 5 minutes, or an hour? In the case of the latter: there’s not much to do but finish off.
Now: Were both of these guys aware what they were doing prior to arriving? If not maybe one wasn’t prepared (and I’m not sure whether you meant you booked them at the same or different times). Or if the person says “I just want etc etc and then turns out he actually wants to do XXX at the last minute, then maybe too it wasn’t being properly planned out.
In this case, if the bottom decides to not want to continue…it’s not much more to do. But in a situation where time wasn’t a factor: I think there’s the chance to clean up and start back over after some time passes.

BINGO 🎰 You said it 👏🏽 the “average” RM browser is potentially a flake. That’s the #1 reason for the deposits to begin with. The answer answered itself lol.
And trust me, I will: I’ve learned too many times not to. If someone thinks we should cover the burden of expenses, they can send me their cash app or other app so I can request money when I need to pay $100 for a hotel plus put down $100 extra for “incidentals” for a client who hasn’t paid a deposit. That’ll have some putting money where their mouth is lol.
 

That’s because some here tend to have a pack mentality. Deposits are not terribly received by the average person on RentMen. There is also no average client on RM either. And, if someone isn’t willing to send a deposit, they need to not be surfing 🏄🏾‍♂️ websites where guys have to pay upwards of $100 or more a month to list on, and sell services. It’s not a hookup app.
 
If someone is going to pay, they’re going to pay. If they’re BSing they’re going to BS. With or without. Deposits are a very small fraction of the bigger picture. 

Ha ha ha. That’s so funny. Not 👎🏾 
The other solution is, just blame the flaky escort and sit and let it happen again next time…. And allow others to continue to convey that RELIABLE escorts have to suffer the sins of those who have no business relation with us. 
Of course it’s easier for some people to naysay the escort, versus thinking critically to see the situation as it is. If I were an escort and it was a client in the situation: I would have always reached out to the regular FIRST anyway. Any time I go to a city, as often as I travel, I’m always touching base with the favorite or the most reliable. I’d still take new bookings but, it’s not like I’m going to turn down someone I know is reliable, in favor of a wild card 🃏 who might not show or follow thru at all. I’m always going to have a contingency plan.
The person you clapped your hands to, took things out of context by throwing in a completely different dynamic that had nothing to do with what I was suggesting. #1 Many of the flakes and cancellations I discuss, tend to be those who initiate. It’s not like I’m hitting them up. Therefore, they have a bigger duty to keep their word. And #2: why would someone even say that when this whole topic is referencing an epidemic of Timewasters? Geez, the attitude here, so Grinchy this time of year. Reminds me of the word “Dallitude”. 
But I can do quotes too:

And I’ll just add one more thing: requesting a booking at noon for a traveling provider is bad juju off the bat. I can almost imagine, this provider decided he didn’t want to pay his hotel for an extra day to accommodate the 1 noon client, if he had more bookings elsewhere. Or had a bunch of flakes. He may have gone to the next city for another opportunities, versus the one that was scheduled. It’s shitty yes, but it’s the possibilities that can occur. I never accept a noon client when hosting unless he can provide a deposit, which I then can use to either pay for late checkout, or reserve an extra night all together if I feel the desire to use the room for an extra day also.
 
I often tell people and say in my ads: after 11 am to about 2:30 pm is a no zone for me if I’m in a hotel. Unless I’m booking it for more than 1 night, it’s usually too early to check in or too close to checkout time to host. I always suggest people meet before 10:30/11 or after 2:30/3 p.m. Hotels have gotten awful at giving late checkout. Minneapolis hotels charge if you’re a minute late after noon. Ever since Covid, many in the big cities are banging on doors rushing people out BEFORE checkout time. 

Listen, ma’am or dude. If you choose to interpret it that way: without reading between lines of what the message was saying, that’s YOUR burden to carry. I’m simply offering an alternative solution. Clearly it didn’t work out to well in his end, because he got flaked on and then couldn’t get in touch with the favorite guy.
So stop with the bullshit, okay. Don’t try to dredge up comments that detract from the message. I wasn’t even talking to you anyway, so…why are you here arguing with me? 
 
I was offering a reasonable solution, when I really shouldn’t have done that considering he’s come at me sideways in the past. But I’m just giving suggestions on how to save face without losing opportunity.
And don’t come in here lying and saying I’ve dropped people in my personal life for someone else. You’re crossing the line, and that’s going to lose credibility real quick. I never said anything like that. I simply said I have occasionally BEEN FACED WITH having to choose between plans with a new person and plans with someone trusted. This includes but not limited to: friends who may want me to hangout versus a client who hits me up at the last minute. There’s a way to preserve both plans without leaving someone hanging. 
It’s called having a Plan B. He didn’t have a Plan B because he told the regular guy, “I’m not available, sorry”. When he should have said, “I may be available, but can I let you know by like  11 a.m. tomorrow if I’m free?” That way soon as the flake didn’t respond, he could have had a time deadline to get in touch with his regular guy by. Now he’s scrambling like an egg to find a new guy, at the last minute…who’s probably also going to flake on him.
And then he’s going to come on here and say HE should get a deposit. For what? What money on ads and hotel did he spend?

I was simply quoting what you said. It’s fine if you decided to double-back and edit what you meant, but regardless of how you sweet n low or Splenda it up: You can’t get miffed because I agreed with what YOU said 🤷🏾‍♂️ Yes the numbers will show that the average and majority on RM are flakes and regardless of which side it is, browser or advertiser: we both have to do things to protect their time. However, it’s never going to carry the same weight. 
I’m not really here to say how clients should do that. I’m just making suggestion as it pertains to this topic of deposits.  
 

I was simply quoting what you said. It’s fine if you decided to double-back and edit what you meant, but regardless of how you sweet n low or Splenda it up: You can’t get miffed because I agreed with what YOU said 🤷🏾‍♂️ Yes the numbers will show that the average and majority on RM are flakes and regardless of which side it is, browser or advertiser: we both have to do things to protect their time. However, it’s never going to carry the same weight. 
I’m not really here to say how clients should do that. I’m just making suggestion as it pertains to this topic of deposits.  
 

And, what are you going to do about it? Don’t like it, stop reading it ✌you have so much to say, yet so little alternative to offer. You’re part of the pack mentality I refer. Big part. 

They're losers, they have nothing else to do but to bother you and others because they can't afford hiring!

I left the business when the things I liked about it no longer outweighed the things I disliked about it. The pros no longer outweighed the cons.

Let's confine our comments to addressing Daniel's situation and not revive any disagreements on other issues.

Sir, by all due respect: based on the story you’ve described: You wasted your own damn time. You’re going around reaching out to strangers at the last minute (even if it’s the next day, it’s still last minute for some), but you could have first reached out to your reliable favorite instead. 
Or you could have accepted the booking when your regular contacted you, and offered the other a small cancellation fee as a courtesy. Why would you trade a reliable person for something speculative?
When you try to play the field and be slick, it can bite ya in the ass. Too many clients are probably doing the same. You’re definitely not entitled to a deposit though. Since you like to compare our industry to other industries: what freelance or small business you know, is paying deposits TO clients? Name one. And while you’re at it, name another business that is sending out paid product in the mail or via NEXT DAY DELIVERY without any form of payment to confirm beforehand?
If you can do that: I will give you $100 🤣 
 
Some people think they know everything, and want to stipulate how the business should compare and operate to others. In reality, it’s rather simple, as I explained in the post above yours. Some of these clients are busy playing games, and aren’t being honest with others. 
 
And even with deposits like I do, I still have to occasionally put sense to them. Some will give one, and not keep their word. Expecting the deposit to either cover the loss of funds, or be sufficient towards a session weeks later (it’s not).
Had someone text me this earlier this week. This guy is notorious for not keeping his appointments, even after confirming. Usually citing something with work/mood/timing/made other plans etc.
I finally told him I can’t be bothered (I even blocked him earlier this year, and he came back around AGAIN. Gave him a chance, does the same stuff AGAIN. Now he’s blocked AGAIN lol). This is not the energy I want during holidays, but some of these guys find arguing with sex workers entertaining I guess. Thats why in addition to deposits, I’ve had to add consultation fees because, texting some of them is too much work complimentary.
 

To Daniel 84 and other providers who get flaked on, I am so sorry. Unfortunately, our society seems to be coming apart at the seams. I first noticed it when I would hear from friends that there were no-shows at their wedding, when a friend (yes a friend) RSVP's Yes, a non-refundable meal costing hundreds of dollars was reserved, and the person was a no-show. Many high-end small bespoke restaurants here (San Francisco) require full payment in advance...the restaurants that are $400-$500 a person, with long waiting lists for a reservation. Doctors and dentists always call, sometimes more than once, to be sure you are coming to your appointment. Try and do something as simple as order a birthday cake with a name on it, and you have to pay 100% in advance. 
I recently booked a massage with a new provider to me, in a town we were both traveling to. I texted him on a Sunday 10 PM, asking for a Monday or Tuesday 10 AM 60-minute erotic massage appointment; he texted back confirming, including the price and street address and asked OK?; I immediately texted back confirmation for Monday morning. He acknowledged my confirmation right away. Early Monday morning he texted another confirmation, repeating the details, and requested I reconfirm. I did. He acknowledged. When I arrived I so texted; He texted back the room number. When we saw in person, after a warm greeting and sweet kiss, he said, "You've brought the cash, right." I confirmed. We both had a fantastic time (OK, maybe he's a great actor, I sure had a fantastic time). At one time I would have thought all the confirmations a bit much and maybe been insulted that he confirmed I'd brought the cash. But I wasn't, it made me a little sad, because it said to me that he'd been burned enough times he felt he had to do this. After the appointment, I texted him a personal thank-you for a great time. He responded warmly. 
Had he asked for a modest deposit ($25?) ahead of time I would have, because I had done my due diligence on him ahead of time. There were maybe six providers in town that I could have been hot to see. I read all their Rentmasseur self-descriptions and reviews several times, and I researched each one on COM. The comments on this site led me to nix every other provider as undependable or not as advertised. The one I selected had great reviews on everything but age-shaving. 
What I am saying Daniel is that it's not just you, it's not just gay men, it's not just your line of work, but a great many people think nothing of blowing off an obligation. Try not to take it personally, but do what you can do to lesson the impact...consider when the appointment is made (right now, or a day or two away), how the communication comes across (serious or I'm horny right now), respectful or not, and then confirm, confirm, confirm, and then maybe ask for a deposit if you still have reservations. Work at reading between the lines. Don't sound desperate. Say no or set stronger terms if your intuition tells you to. And then hope. 

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
 
 

This is understandable, and I can see the benefits. But the time I had did a part time job in addition to this, I ended up leaving after a couple months I think. I was missing bookings, while expecting to meet the company deadlines. They also scheduled me from 3 to 9 pm, which is Prime time for when clients want bookings. A good paying job probably can be more secure, however there’s some gigs out there that can clash. I also know friends with regular and remote jobs, but instead of escorting: they’re just out fucking for free. Their 1 or 2 jobs is enough, than to add on the extra workload of trying to create a brand, be available short notice, being able to host last minute, having a clean apartment all the time, etc. 
So a regular payroll job is an option, but I don’t think it’s a solution to some client’s unreliable and sketchy behavior. There has to be more strategies to resolve that, than having a regular job. I would hate to have a regular job, AND deal with a bunch of timewasters after work.