TallMuscl37

I would! I'm all about boating....

Makes sense. I can unapologetically say I'm definitely not in the best place right now life wise. Not that it's horrible (the gym is open so still trying to maintain image wise). But it's more just everything else. Car troubles, men troubles, family troubles, friend troubles, living situation troubles, my current location market troubles (Kansas City is becoming among my list of most miserable cities I've lived in) and the just goes on lol. I know they say you have to "be the man who you want to date", and that nobody wants to be with someone miserable. But it's hard when things aren't falling into place even with the best attempts and intents to make it go right. Financially I've actually been pretty good this year despite the current events, but it's like one thing after the next, and still don't have much of a social circle to do anything when I do get the money. So it's like I've been getting the money and basically just spending it on bullshit every week. But I'm hoping once I make this relocation next week, things will improve. It may even take me a few weeks to shake the residual effects of being in a recurring state of unhappiness and disappointment everytime something doesn't seem to be working out. That's why all the stuff about Covid 19 and Black lives matter... it's great, but I'm struggling with asthma almost everyday (didn't have this problem in Florida lol) and I still don't feel like anyone outside of my paying clients, thinks my life matters.

Well in my case I wasn’t using it as an ultimatum. And I can see 100% where he’s coming from. That’s why I worded it careful: if I don't hear from you by 6 pm Friday, I'll assume you have other things to tend to". Instead of something like, “I’ll call someone else if I don’t hear back by 6 pm Friday.” That way there’s no ultimatum being made. It’s just stating a deadline that someone needs to know something by, and if not...that takes out the guesswork or wondering and waiting. But the point is, to at least SAY it. I hate when people ask me about appointments in advance, and then I may need a day or 2 to think about whether I can accommodate, and when I get back I get told they made other plans because THEY THOUGHT I wasn’t interested. To avoid that I try to just respond anyway, and try to let them know I am interested to meet, but need more time to get back and let them know if I can do it. And also, “available now” has been spoken of before. Yes, if you are with a client...turn off available now. That’s not fair. But...it doesn’t always mean “available right now”. It’s like when an apartment is for rent, or a mechanic shop is open. It doesn’t mean you rent it right that second. Nor that your car is immediately going to get taken into the service bay. It just means available to “be available”.

I hear what you’re saying. It’s all valid. However, when you say kids, pets, family, etc...not everyone has that. It’s easy to fall back on and build a life once those default things are in place. I also know of a guy who has an older daughter as well...and even though we’ve talked of meeting, I’m telling myself I don’t want to go back down that “path” again: Namely one where I’m playing 2nd base. So, my options will certainly involve others outside of that. My question: what do you think you’d be if you didn’t have the kids, family and dog to center you? Not saying that to imply those values are “material”, but hypothetically: if you didn’t, how do you think your world would be different? I personally don’t have any kids. Pets aren’t a good option right now either, because I’ve been out of my own place for going on 2 years now, and trying to race to get back into one. And most places make it pretty undesirable to move in with a pet, on top of everything else. No desire to have kids (and why would I considering everything) I know there are guys who can play the role of family man, and single gay guy. But in my opinion, it’s capitalizing on the “system”. Not just money either. And rightfully advantageous in doing so. With kids you get tax dependents, and a broader social horizon. You can be the “respected” family man that this country is so infatuated with, but in the same vein, the “gay men” out here having kids knowing they are gay, is throwing biologically gay and “out” men under the bus...making it seem like gay men without kids don’t have responsibilities, have lesser importance and contribute less to “the family society”, and are selfish and can’t take care of anyone but themselves. Meanwhile, reaping all the benefits of being a “family man” on the side. I’m not citing that all gay guys who have kids are doing it for a gain, but I do many want their cake and eat it too. They want gay camaraderie, on the side when it’s convenient for them. And some may even want it long term and are consistent. But anytime you have kid in the mix, it’s almost like having to contend with another partner. Like the guy I’ve been talking to since we first hooked up earlier this year said to me yesterday, “I can’t meet, I’m going out of town with my daughter for the weekend”. How does one interpret that? I’m supposed to feel like..nothing about it? You said it right: “my kids come first and because of that, I don’t have a desire to be in a relationship.” And that’s exactly what happens. Some want to have 1 foot out the door. Half being family man, other half being gay man. That's fine for client/escort arrangements. But in regular situations, it's not going to work being 1 in the same, unless both parties actually move in together. Which I've seen happen. But I always feel some sort of way about the one who moves into that situation, ultimately playing substitute mother or father to the person's kids. No Thankyou. I ain't about being bamboozled into becoming some live in babysitter for nobody. Obviously if the person had adult sons or daughters, that could make a difference. Or not.

And that's 100% fine (pardon if the rating I gave your post comes off as a dislike, just referring to the general idea). Why does it have to be a Disney way of things when it pertains to gays though? Why do I have to be out here, can't even fucking have a movie date or Saturday night plans, when straight people out here are going out on dates and shit? Yes, I Agree many marriages are for practical reasons. But at the same time, I'm not talking about marriage lol. I'm talking about consistency. It says a lot when somebody can connect with me on a sexual level, but yet can't seem to turn it into anything substantial. Does this person not like ANYTHING else about me? Or did they? If someone feels like no desire or prerogative to at-least feel like wanting to be seen with me outside of the bed, then I might as well stick with paid appointments. I'm not looking for a notch on my belt, I'm hoping for a connection outside of clients... it doesn't have to be marriage, but at-least an attraction that carries some type of friendship. I'll say, this used to be a little more common circa 2000-2005. Guys would at-least put some kinda effort into making the other gay feel human. Nowadays, they don't even try. Worse yet, they rub it your face...no tact. No class. Just trash.

In the same vein: if that's true, those are all phrases indicative of someone who just can't be real with others. And what happened to the lack of priority when they were all too eager to fuck last time? When I tell clients those things, most likely it really is that. I've had to reschedule a couple clients this week because I was busy...and I wouldn't doubt many clients likely the same.

Whoa Whoa whoa, let's back up. One question at a time. If we answer the first question, that'll kinda help answer all the others. How much time do you spend waiting? Well how much time did you agree to? Do you tell them, "if I don't hear from you by 6 pm Friday, I'll assume you have other things to tend to"? If not, you should. If they don't reply, you know what to do next. This is where clients get mixed up. They assume, and then start contacting others, without actually giving some sort of parameters. Once a provider starts communicating with you, don't go making other plans unless it's clear that the person hasn't responded within the time parameters discussed. And that may have to be up to an hour prior to an appointment time. I've had more than enough times where clients have been like, "oh I didn't hear back so made other plans". That's a real dick move. Because I never consulted them to tell them I had cancelled or made others plans. They simply assumed and took it upon themselves to make other arrangements, despite the concessions that were already planned. That's a $200 cancellation fee. But lately to avoid that, I just try to make sure #1 the session is confirmed with deposit and #2, make sure they know, that I know...once we make plans it's made. No need to confirm and reconfirm unless I specifically say: "check with me the day before to re-confirm." Also I tell people don't assume I do or don't have other appointments. Clients always think when they don't hear back instantly, the escort is making other appointments. Remember, we're in the middle of a pandemic, recession/depression, and nationwide social unrest. There is still demand out here, but most days, it's also very dead. Dead, dead. Zombie apocalypse dead (okay I'm exaggerating) ? So I'm not turning down any clients, I'm only blocking timewasters who contact for appointments, and then don't follow thru. I've also left my Rentmen messenger on auto reply, and pretty soon may no longer be responding to messages on Adam4Adam. Only direct texts. The site is a magnet for indecisive, inconsiderate mind fucks who can't be relied on for serious inquiries. Fortunately, it still brings real clients my way...so I try and deal.

That escort in question sounds like self absorbed, and that is absolutely 100%, not the answer to give to a client. I mean, I've given/give clients some brusque responses as well...but there's no reason to be a downright dick about shit. If I cancel, I will absolutely give a plausible reason. A client does deserve an explanation, likewise does an escort. Only a man of low integrity would think otherwise. Even if someone fucked up, just say it. Overscheduled, bad day, car broke down...it'll at-least give enlightenment to the situation, and avoid hard feelings. What you talk about is almost similar to my recent post about client sex versus hookup sex, and why hookups tend to be less consistent in the long run, despite the fact that they're getting something "pro bono". My personal experience, and reason why I don't fuck with many, if any other escorts nowadays: with the exception of the gracious guys on this site...most of the escorts out there ain't about shit. Just like most of the guys on hookup apps ain't about shit. Fuck em once, and turn em loose is mostly what they're good for. Not a goddamn, MF-ing thang else. Not because they're actually bad people, but because they're only about themselves. They see exchanges as what they can get out of it, not what the other person can get out of it. Just because someone posts an ad on the internet naked, doesn't give them clout. Lot of these guys be on drugs, be using fake pics, are half straight guys trying to play gay, in an open relationship, or only do it as a sport, not a career.

Sometimes I find if you’re using a public WiFi like your gym or Walmart, it’ll automatically block access to any “porny” like sites. I have good 5g, but my phones will still auto connect to open networks that I’ve already signed into previously.

That's so true. And equally sad. And I'll add: With everything going on about ethnic relations and BL'sM, I think it goes even a little deeper. Being that most of the guys, in most cities I come across are White guys (and admittedly are the ones who seem to hit me up and go thru with hookups the most). I think there's this unspoken truth that many White guys only go as far as hooking up and having sex with BLMs. Anything deeper like a friendship or relationship, only happens every so often. If it and when it does, I always find its because the Black dude has something the White guy wants: Usually a happening career, big social network, or access to the "parTy scene.". Having a BBC is usually not enough. At least for White guys under 50 lol. I find the older White guys usually have less requirements and expectations, hence why client relationships have worked so well for me lol. I'm just like, it's 2020. Why are gays still thinking and operating like it's 1950...when our straight counterparts are dating, getting married, and having interracial kids together... meanwhile it's so fucking hard to find ONE, who's not just in it for the sexual aspect. BUT....I'm also not saying black on black gay relationships just happen easily either. The last time I had anotha brotha ask me on a date, and take me...was last August in D.C. for my birthday. And that was like once in a lifetime because it was also a fancy restaurant lol. But of course, location location location. I'm almost just resolving to accept it. I guess it's not the worse thing to have a different guy sucking me off or getting fucked every week. I mean, I don't even have to jerk off considering anytime I'm not having sex, I'm replenishing my loads lol. At the same time, it's just so shallow. I don't mind fucking on the 1st meet, but if they can't fulfill my social aspects of things, it's only half the satisfaction.

The waiter in question doesn't sound like he was an escort. He just happened to be one of those "kept" guys. Those types are different and they feel more privileged than being an actual escort. They're a different breed all together. What do you define as the sexual marketplace? A site where gays are on? And what do you define places that are not like that? Applebees? The grocery store? The gym? Lol. I mean let's be real: Unless a person already was "born into" a social scene (either due to their job, having lived in the same city all or most of their life, or live in the city), where can other gays meet that's not sexual BUT can leave the door open for sex. E.g., avoiding hitting on a straight guy? Obviously hookup apps popular for a reason because the same guys are on there for years. I go thru phases myself where I delete the app, but with the closing of bars due to COVID, that really allowed 0 ways of connecting with other gays outside of clients. I've even do the occasional gym and restaurant "hit", Most times those never lead to more than just getting a Facebook or Instagram handle. Only been handful of times in life, that I met someone in public and it lead to something. It seems most interactions start from hookup apps as starters, and it either goes 3 directions: turns into friends, turns into a couple more hookups, or just never meet up again. And until I fully move out of the miserable Kansas Shitty market, client biz. continues to be sparse. However there are times I just like to tune it out and focus on clients.

And in cases like this, I've grown to just move on most of the time. Lot of times it don't be worth trying to get them to "be real". At the same time, I do occasionally call guys out if I sense there's no salvaging the relationship any further, and they're being blatantly passive aggressive. Just like in the above response. It's SO FUNNY because, it always gets guys talking...once you call them out on their shit. Then they want to try and protect their integrity, knowing goddamn well they don't have a single fucking ounce of it. But most times, it's not worth it. Lot of these guys are overly inflated trash bags. They only use apps and hookups to get ego boosts. To make themselves feel good about themselves for a short time, and then go back to whatever fake pretend life they live behind the scenes. I been doing this for 20 years, have seen it and heard it all. Like the escort who has been hounding me to fuck him raw, then got mad when I told him I'm not looking to meet on a sex first basis, especially if he's not trying to be on my justforfans. Why the fuck would I want to fuck, just for the sake it? Lol. I was saying on my Facebook the other day: being gay is not a noun. It's a verb. Something that's "done", versus something that "is". But I know that's not how gay people should see things. But I'm just seeing it for how they see it.

Selfish is the key word. That's what majority of the people there are. I just had an "argument" with a guy from an app I've met last month. For one, it took a whole year to actually meet (didn't live in same town, but only an hour out). Now that we have met and had a hot time and he even seemed up to meet again, he has made 0 effort to try and get us in the same place. Always claims to be working, or being invited to different parties and get togethers... yet has not 1 time asked or invited me to go. Just says he can't invite anyone. I finally called him out on it today. I'm not fixing to be wasting my time on someone who clearly can't be bothered to involve me in anything they do. He seems to have various excuses about how it's private, or he can't invite anybody, and doesn't want to have to worry about someone. Whatever the fuck that means. But yet he says he does want to meet again, and it wasn't a 1 time thing. blah blah blah Just fucking say you don't want to bring me because you feel some shame or don't think I'll feel welcomed. Guys be having 100 excuses. Idk why they try to hold onto something that they know they're not invested in anyway. I'm smart enough to pull the plug if I have to.

...I’m sure there wouldn’t be any complaints about the heavier cub in this photo lol. Perfect conclusion. It does. But one thing I’ve noticed, COVID19 has “killed off” a lot of Timewasters ? But maybe now at least people understand, it’s not funny or amusing to waste the time of someone on the frontlines, risking their health. Maybe now they realize it’s a sick, unhealthy, and weird thing to do. Some still haven’t learned, and continue...but they’ll get theirs.

I know an escort like that who lives in my area. Everytime he messaged me, it was about fucking his hole. Finally I told him, “dude...you said you wanted to be travel buddies, but all you’ve ever put on the table is fucking you”. We’ve not actually met because it was always, come over now and fuck. Maybe he’s that type of provider, but I’m not that type of provider. All my clients must book in advance, and hookups are no different. Then he had to audacity to say, “delete his number”. I said, “I already had sex last night and this morning, so I don’t need to meet you for sex today”. I was trying to meet n greet on a respectable level...he just wanted to get stoned and come over a fuck. Which brings me to this: 100%. That so very true with #1. I think the key is the expectations part. I think deep down some guys feel there’s some expectations to be...expected. Sex first, no expectations later ??‍♂️ Traveling brings us into contact with more people, but it can limit the chance for those turning into something worthwhile. I’ve actually been on a little break from traveling due to everything going on (pandemic, peace demonstrations, etc). So in this time I’ve been trying to cultivate some friendships that were missed connections, but I’ve been off the road since March, and the guys STILL aren’t consistent. I spent my whole Memorial Day weekend with no plans with anyone I knew. Fortunately I made up for it the next week when a fuck buddy and his friend came to town, but that really just had me at a low point. Sometimes I wonder if it’s shame or race related. Maybe they feel a way about having gay sexual desires, maybe they feel a way about meeting a guy of a different ethnic background. I know it’s not a city based thing, as it seems to be the same way in most EVERY city in this country. However, some places seem to be more prone to it than others. Places like Nashville, Orlando, Kansas City: they seem to raise these gay guys in these conservative, backwards, intolerant upbringings, so when they are adult...they don’t know how to be in a relationship. Places like San Francisco, DC, Chicago...gay people seem to understand that you can do more than just meet another man for sex. AND WHY do I always see Black/White straight couples in most any city or suburb, but NEVER any Black/White gay couples except in porn and at gay bars/villages. ? And then when you do, people discriminate and do things that make it difficult to be together. Like the motel clerk last month said, “I didn’t know there was going to be 2 people staying in that room”. Bitch, is it a problem?

That's only what they want people around them to think. And they may be rightfully so, around them. But those also be the same ones who tend to perpetuate meeting for convenience only. They have their "regular" life, but once in awhile they'll venture out... And when it's over, they go back to what they were doing before. And forgetting about the guy they just met. Hence why nothing consistent comes out of it. Like one guy I met after we fucked: he says the next morning, "time to get back to reality". So what we did was merely a fantasy. An escape. Nothing more to come about.

I do ask clients for their age. Only because with the advent of texting, I have to be able to prioritize those who are 19 years old, versus 59 years old. 9 times out of 10, the 59 year old is more likely to meet than the 19 year old. I also don't care if someone says they are 45, and turn out to be 54. What matters is that they are not a minor, and of legal content age of 25 lol. As a matter of fact: when I use Adam4Adam, the profile of a timewaster is one who doesn't fill out their profile completely, and only puts their age and nothing else. How can a person be seriously looking to link up, and have all blank details. Other timewasting characteristics are those who ask for pics (MORE PICS than what I have), how big am I (inches), and asking to meet "now". Fortunately, I already have most all my conversations on a script. Too much deviation from the script usually also gets lowered in priority. I also don't answer uninvited phone calls and have turned my Rentmen messenger to auto reply, in order to cut down on wasting time. As much as I love the biz; I've gotten more seasoned, and become less tolerant to BS. However I'm also learning to be more forgiving because there is no formula. Every client starts out as a timewaster to someone lol. Eventually they'll come to someone. Our phones are ringing much more with Craigslist gone, and if you don't figure out a way to mitigate and prevent the excess waste of time, that can really make for a less fun experience overall. I study my spam emails and notice how some companies email me relentlessly even though I don't respond or shop with them. It made me realize, sometimes you just gotta "beg" clients to meet. I find myself reaching out to clients who've cancelled, reminding them I'm available and inviting to meet. If they are serious, they'll meet. However, I'm not going to chase someone who doesn't respect my time (asking for pictures, being pushy when not getting a response instantly when they've just contacted me the same day, or have flaked multiple times). I only "beg" if the person shows a will and intent to show up. Any cancels when I travel to or plan to host them are unforgivable without a deposit. I can't be bothered with inconsiderate fucks who don't give a fuck.

No apology needed. I think you're spot on 100%. But I'll give benefit of doubt that perhaps if they don't enter into relationships with that prerogative, they certainly stay in them for that. I have known a handful of gay relationships that were doing perfect when they were together: car, house, big parties. When they broke up, one was usually doing better than the other...but they both took a financial hit. Didn't see them out partying at the clubs much after that. And for the most part, they did stay open. Legend had it the person was in a relationship or had a partner, but played freely. So what's the solution or alternative? At what point do guys decide to just simultaneously combust and make it into a relationship? What factors have to be in play? Also I made a temporary move in with a client recently, and even though I'm grateful for his accommodation (needed it to transition to my own place), something just doesn't sit right with me because even though we have discussed it's not a boyfriend situation....it still FEELS like a boyfriend situation. He's a bit too lovey dovey than what I can appreciate. I don't want those feelings for him. Sometimes leaving off labels, don't change the biological workings of a situation.

Just curious on the opinion of those. I just find it discouraging that I can meet a guy my type, have perfect sex, and perfect chemistry...and it rarely go anywhere beyond the first meet. This would explain majority of my interactions with gay guys. I have tried to make sense of not having sex with someone when I first meet, but it doesn't always make any difference. Yet, I have clients who obviously we connected on a first meet, and known each other for months and years. I know every situation isn't promised to be one thing or the other, but I try to wonder if hooking up with guys outside of clients on a first meet...is a bad idea. At the same time, it's like what are the alternatives? With many gay guys being relatively single, and not married...who really wants to go on 3 or 4 dates with a guy in hopes that something long term comes out of it? It's almost easier to fuck first, and get to know each other afterwards....but more often than not that rarely happens. It may not be an issue for guys who are already established with a circle of friends, relatives, and work functions...but some of us likely don't have a huge social network to fall back on. My social and entertainment network consists of clients, the occasional bar hop, and social media/hookup apps. My friend circle is somewhat varied. They either live out of state or we fucked, and are fuck buddies. There's just no other consistent alternative. The gyms are usually filled with married and partnered straights, out in public usually is hit or miss.

Hello, I am familiar with the Tampa/St Pete area myself. I am not in Florida now, but I was there for a couple months back in early February thru March. As far as I know: Treasure Island beach, and this I’m just noticing: the gay resort formerly known as Flamingo has shut down. I think that was prior to the pandemic, but I know there is a website that takes to a different site now: https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/st-petersburgs-flamingo-resort-is-closing-after-10-years That said, there are still some other spots to venture to around downtown. My suggestion personally: if you can, try to spend a couple or few days in different Florida cities, and then try another. That way you get the full experience. Every Florida beach and city is different, and when people only see 1, they only get to see that 1 impression. Siesta Key in Sarasota is a world famous beach spot, you may even get a better sunset because when I was there, the sun kept setting in the northwest, not the classic dew west over the water. But also no place I’m aware of on the west coast of Florida is going to be specifically gay or nude. That’s why if time/transportation allows, you may want to get on the east coast up towards Titusville and check out Playalinda beach, which is a nude one on the Cape Canaveral shore. However the towns surrounding it can be a bit seedy and devoid of much gay activity, but if you already have a partner coming along, it may not be an issue. The other option would be Orlando, like the Parliament House. But once you’re outside of downtown and the resorts, Orlando can get a bit touristy and family oriented. Whereas Saint Pete beach and Sarasota tend to cater to an older, mature crowd. Also look into Key West....it’s more expensive, but completely different from Miami and Fort Lauderdale. And more gay oriented/catered than St. Pete/Tampa. Which from my opinion growing up there: has struggled to expand its gay community, as that area is home to conservative Bible thumpers, and a handful of intolerant types too. However, being along the beach...you generally get a mix of people from up north and overseas.

If you go regularly, I’ll soon be based in STL, and am making a 2 day run out to get some things situated. I probably won’t be there past Tuesday this week, however PM me if you’d like more details for a future visit.

Never personally been, never personally heard of... That being said, (not being political, but just answering the question from a different standpoint) with the likely new world order of the collapse of the police state in America, I would hope that a sensible next leader, could pass a bill that refrains police from intervening on situations (such as bogus entrapment operations) that don’t create imminent bodily harm or property loss And considering I’ve pretty much had to “police” myself all these years, I think other businesses could adopt a way to handle situations without involving police too. Because they are part of the problem, that’s why their windows are getting smashed out and burned. Police aren’t needed for every little thing. And if I were to be arrested going to a hotel to meet a client, best believe they would be getting a shitty review, and some. Now the only other case that I know personally of, is a client who told me there was a sting set on a “escort” in a hotel. But this particular person was getting clients in and doing some unscrupulous things. That’s the only reason why.

Looks like everything will be shutting right back down though, thanks to 1 idiot ??‍♂️ Bet there won’t be any “stimulus check” or SBA loans for that. Guess the insurance companies are going to need a bailout next ? That said, I did stay in one of Marriott’s smaller quieter hotels the other week, and they did mention only registered guests in the room. However, this was new because I had stayed there couple months ago and that wasn’t imposed. I didn’t have any issue my first day up, but I did notice the next day the front lobby was locked, and front desk just manually opened it. However since then, I’ve stayed in a couple other hotels and haven’t had any issues. So it’s likely to be a hotel by hotel basis. If push comes to shove like that again, one may just need to physically go down and meet...and go back in a door not connected to the lobby. Some of the stuff going on is overkill (no pun intended). If someone is a single guest, or if a client is wearing a mask thru the halls; the chance of risk to the hotel is relatively low, not much more than any other guest checking in.

I’ve been there before in the winter, not the best time. Can get quite blustery and grey. And when it’s in the -0 for days on end, I can’t imagine anyone being serious about wanting to get out. Summer is definitely best. But at this rate, there may not even be a Minneapolis to go back to. Probably look something like this:

Yikes...hope I’m not making a mistake lol. If anything, it’ll just be a starting point for now. All the places I would want to move (SF, DC, Arizona) are just not accessible at this point in time. I’m going to STL because I’ll have a place to host and it’s within a day drive. The neighborhood seems right, and I know a couple of clients who can lend a hand.