TallMuscl37

Good word ?? But I think at the end of the day, this isn’t simply a provider, or male escort issue. I think it’s a GENERAL gay issue as well. All the stuff about meth and taking advantage of, exists in the gay community beyond escorting. Escorting is simply an activity within the lifestyle. Like I’ve said before, spend any significant time in a gay bar or gayborhood, and “messed up” men are nothing out of the ordinary. And that’s not picking on or putting down anyone, it’s just how the gay lifestyle is. Last Sunday I was out and about (albeit in the White suburban area of the Midwest), and when I look around, there’s no gay couples. All you see is family and married guys. I see guys I’m attracted to, before I know it their wife and kid runs up to them (which doesn’t mean we can’t fuck, but still...). I don’t see anyone I can relate to. THAT, fucking messes me up. Me going out and making $300 to fuck, doesn’t mess me up. Dealing with other gay guys, is what messes me up. Despite the many progressions that gays have made over the years, fact of the matter is, it’s still hard for many. There’s still not enough acceptance from straight people, and many gay guys are still not treating one other with VALUE. When it does, it doesn’t come easily. And I’ve known guys who’s only reason for popularity is because they had very good drug connections.

My thoughts: why stop now, when there’s been things that hit far closer to home than this. People were still coming into the biz, despite the hundreds of thousands of cases of STD, Hepatitis (and there’s been increases in that, according to various cities STD clinics, before COVID 19), and HIV. Same as I’ve been saying already on the forum, but I don’t have too much time to elaborate on at the moment. I didn’t stop seeing clients, nor was there any 2nd guessing if I would. The question I’m wondering: when are the rest of the clients out there going to start hiring again lol. Couple weeks ago, one of my regular clients came by. I was outside most of the day, which in the Midwest around this time of year, can trigger allergies, which triggers my asthma. We had to end the session early because I was short on breath (and not from the action lol). It was exasperated by the fact that I forgotten my asthma medication at home. Later on he was telling me that he hope it wasn’t COVID 19. I told him I’m pretty sure it isn’t, I’ve been dealing with this on and off for years. Sure enough, once I got my inhaler back...I was immediately able to breathe normally. We met again a week later, but then after the session I was gasping out of his place because he had incense burning, and that is a definite asthma trigger. Point is, there’s always stuff out there. Why lie to myself by stopping something temporarily, and then going back once things are “safe”. Obviously you don’t want to take unnecessary risks if you don’t have to, but I’m not going to give myself a false sense of safety. Think of it this way: If I were to ask this same question to a die-hard church lady, or to a random, Uber conservative doctor, what would their answer be? Would they say, “it’ll be safer to wait until COVID 19 is over before going back to having multiple sex partners?” ?

Pardon me, if I may interject. I hear what you’re saying. You’re giving a meaning to a word that applies to straight men. Yes, your average everyday, homophobe straight man, is going to talk to another men about chasing pussy, and putting his massive dick inside another woman. That’s what they do. Why they think talking about their dick with another straight man is supposed to make them sound straight, is beyond me. But considering MORE THAN 50% of my clients are either formerly or currently married, I think that should give you a clue. No gay man who has sex with another gay man, says they’re going to find pussy tonight. They may say, “fuck my pussy” during a moment of intense sex, but that’s not the same as “chasing pussy”. But you originally said 50% of escorts are straight. You then said chasing pussy. Therefore, you insinuated that many male escorts (who are messed up, and half straight) are chasing pussy. As in, a vagina. That’s what you just said. PERIOD.

You made a good point, but it was misinterpreted by equating the idea that an escort is easily compelled to use meth while being an escort. Guess what? Meth messes up A LOT of people. Again, it goes down to choice and free will. I was once a naive boy, and been around clients doing all kinds of drugs too. Me doing meth was not part of the payment, therefore I never had any use to do it. I even had a client who paid me extra to find cocaine for him. Which I did, because there was a guy I fucked with for a brief moment who had the connections, but I didn’t touch a single gram of it. I just watched him get geeked. Nowadays, I wouldn’t be bothered to do that, because it’s not my thing. I’m an escort, not a drug dealer. Anyone who gets hooked on meth, is doing so for reasons that aren’t necessarily derivative of being an escort. If that was the case, it wouldn’t be so widespread in the gay bars and “parTys” over the years.

I’m among the other 50% I suppose. The non-gay for pay type. I also think you may be focusing on the idea that escorts don’t chase guys who they desire. Just because someone is a professional, doesn’t mean that they don’t have a sex life outside of the biz. Contrary to popular belief, very few are actually “stuck” doing anything in this biz. I’ve said this before regarding working during COVID. Point in case: More stimulus payments went out this week. So I certainly didn’t “need” to see someone, but the next day, I went ahead and did so anyway because I was horny and felt like it.

? Now you’ve just added a new layer to this topic, which is something for consideration.

? Now you’ve just added a new layer to this topic, which is something for consideration.

I do that between 2 am thru 9 am on iPhone. Do not disturb. The 4 am texts don't bother me because either I'm up late looking, or so far gone sleep...I'll don't notice or hear the phone go off anyway. I'm also not privy to early morning texts either, which seem common as well. I used to answer phone calls while I was still in bed, and couldn't remember what I said after, or what I agreed to lol. Hence another reason why I don't take on the spot calls any more

I can say a lot of the nonsense has gone down though lately. It's not as regular as it has been. The other day was a bit of an oddball because inquiries are down. But the blessing in disguise, most inquiries now are serious.

That's a very good point. And earlier this year, I was figuring out which initial mode of communication worked best for me. At one point I was doing email 1st only, then calls 1st only, no emails, and now text with the option of email open. Personally, I just don't find phone calls to be effective for me. I tell people to text me first, get verified, and then we can chat once agreed on details, timing, host/travel, rate, etc I actually learned that from a photographer in Chicago who told me he answers no phone calls until deposit is made. Everything was done by text. I also had 1 too many phone calls that start with weird requests, keeping me on the phone, and just completely flubbing me. I got so tired of that. I finally drew the line 2 months ago in Florida, after some hack spent 20 minutes on the phone with me telling me he'd pay me $800 per session, upfront. After a few more weirdo flakes, I have phone calls on lockdown. I do not answer them at all unless client is booked and scheduled. Even though it does consume a bit more time, I try to ask pertinent questions which more quickly determines if we can make it work. However my thing with the turning phone off isn't so much about the length of time communicating with someone, but more of answering messages when you're in the middle of something. I try to respond even when I'm not immediately available, but some of the replies are like nails on a chalkboard: "Oh I don't do deposits, I've been burned before. Not interested." "Thanks for reply, but found someone else" "You're worth every penny, but too much for me." "Oh that's going to be too late for me today, maybe another time." Even though they may be honest replies, they're dismissive. Sometimes I may even be willing and able to make concessions and see them. But if they persist in not making it work, that means I've stopped what I'm doing, got distracted, only to be turned down. And then that's when I start feeling compelled to just turn my phone off, or only deal with clients on a by appointment, advance notice basis only. Drawback with that: clients may be waiting hours or a day for a response back. In which case they may assume I'm not interested. Then that's missed opportunity. But that is also why I stress contacting in advance at the start of my ads.

Another thing I wish to add to this: lately I’ve been hearing from some first time clients, that they’ve gotten burned in the past by sending escorts deposits. This in particular bothers me, because for 1, it’s not as if I burned them. And then 2, it seems to infer that we as escorts don’t get burned...oftentimes far more than once or twice. I always ask them, did the provider who burned you have several good reviews like I do? Because if not, that’s a short sight on their end. I have nothing to do with that, anymore than I have to do with an escort who actually meets a client, takes the money, and then “left something in the car”. A prospective client shouldn’t look at providers, as a telemarketer. They contact us, on platforms that I spend $150 a month on. It also costs to set up accommodations and travel out to see a client. I make it clear in my ads that I only host locally with deposit (because I too have been burned, making concessions to leave my house and get a hotel, only for people to not show up). The fact that some people try to ignore booking procedures, and then indirectly suspect someone is a scammer, is painting anyone who asks for advances in a bad light. But in reality, it may simply just be someone who wants to be in control of their life, and not just go dashing out the door for any Tom, dick and Harry who sends a text message asking to meet. People have it backwards to think that we are to trust them, more than they should trust us. I also wanted to re-address another poster saying what would someone do if they were a personal trainer. Well it’s actually quite common that personal trainers get their money for several sessions, in advance in 1 lump sum. You may pay $XXX for 6 sessions, but that’s not at each session. That’s in advance of each session.

By turning phone off, I refer mainly to those who may have a separate ad/work phone or number. I ask because some days, I don’t really be “available now” to take clients, but leave my phone on and communicate when an inquiry does come thru. Perhaps I can schedule something for the next day or later in week. If I have enough notice to take it, and the client properly confirms (usually with a deposit), I can go ahead and take the visit that day. Problem is, it more often than not ends up creating unnecessary distraction and time waste. Just today, I had 3 clients text me almost around the same time, and an email asking if I’m available today. Non of them end up panning out. I was going to be on my way to run track, and instead got side tracked answering messages. Then it rained, and I missed the opportunity. For a short while, I was randomly turning my phone off whenever I found myself invested in something I knew I couldn’t pull myself from (a date, house project, gym) But there’s been several times where I’ve been entrenched in a project, take time out to answer texts...only to completely lose my motivation. At one point I was almost considering posting that I’d only answer messages between a certain time of day. That way I’m not getting randomly pulled into answering messages round the clock, when I may not be in the position to hold a conversation. That’s also why I no longer accept phone calls, unless it’s a confirmed appointment.

I’d be curious to know what “type” of guys you may be going for? Are you going for big muscle, or guy next door, “straight acting”, or bottom exuding? Also, where are you finding this out at? Are you waiting until you meet them to tell them you’re a top? Or are you discussing prior? I say because sometimes clients may be tops, and not say so until meeting in person. I think most escorts, unless stated otherwise, will assume a client is wanting to bottom. Dick sells more, in overall volume, than ass. But it doesn’t necessarily mean ass is worth less than dick (in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a higher price involved). Just means that there’s generally more guys, particularly older, who want to have a top escort. The reasons could range from ED, to not experiencing the same at home (e.g. married guys), or just general porn fantasy (big black cock, tight white ass, etc)

Thanks for adding to the message I was making, you definitely seem to have an understanding of the current plight from an escorts perspective. However, despite the recommendation by some on the forum saying to be “frugal” and “thrifty” and budget minded, I think the government stimulus checks are designed to do just the opposite lol. Part of the reason why these stem ? checks are going out, is because the government (and other businesses) want us to spend money on stuff we don’t truly need lol. It helps fuel the American economy and dream, to spend money. It generates tax revenue, and opens new opportunities. Me personally: I still cash out coins at coin star, but at the same time...I like to buy nice things. Like when I’m in Palm Springs or Dallas, I like to buy $30 leather wrist bands, and $20 tank tops. A few Andrews at a gay owned underwear store is a good investment. But I tend to spend based on the way business is going. If I’m getting clients and expecting more, I’m apt to spend some here and there...because in this business; there’s a bit of unspoken pressure to dress nice, have nice things, and drive nice cars. It’s kind of why I drive a luxury brand car, even though I don’t particularly like how much it costs to service (or the attention it gets as I seem like an easy target to salesmen lol). But it’s like fuck. Many times I’m going to 4 and 5 star hotels, and prestigious neighborhoods to see clients. I desire to be seen in a luxury vehicle. Nothing wrong with Toyota and Nissan, or Ford and Chevy. But, considering I can’t afford the “brand new” models of those cars, I opted to go for an older luxury car. A 2001 Rolls Royce will exude a different character than a 2020 RAV4, so to speak lol. I recently had an Uber pick me up in a Mercedes that a client ordered (car dealers are being coy with their loaner cars right now, another COVID excuse). I was surprised at how plastic and un-original the interior felt. I know Uber has car-age limits, but I just feel the late 90s and early 2000s luxury cars really went out their way to feel like a 747 ✈️

It seems this particular poster moved on since, but...regardless of whether people disagreed with him, it may become an increasing new norm post C-19. And that’s assuming providers will be offering it. That said, if I can be transparent: at times the guys who are adamant, mandatory about kissing, tend to overdo it. Like someone previously mentioned, I don’t want to feel like someone is diving for lobsters in my mouth. Kissing is a wonderful, erotic thing...it’s like kindling to a fire. It’s all part of the “package”. And I especially like it when a guy is real shy seeming about kissing. Maybe they don’t always, but they get into it. But I also have a thing about extended “making out” (not just kissing) in nightclubs. Some guys do it very publicly when they first meet a guy, so I feel in some ways making out can be like a handshake to some. It’s cute, but I don’t like being seen in that capacity. I’ve done it, and it tends to make me uncomfortable being seen out in public lipped locked with someone I barely know, in front of other people (some people get jealous, or feel inappropriate). That said, a quick kiss on the lips as a greeting among fellow gays is fairly common and welcome (then again we don’t know how things may become after all of “this” ? stuff).

Bravo ? very good point. I'll also add, I don't think other escorts should assume other escorts are open to hookups. I've had some local guys reach out to me, with explicit offers. I'm flattered, and likely would fuck them...But, a little acknowledgement of me as an escort, goes a long way. Something like, "I would like to connect when you have some time available outside of clients" versus "come fuck my hole" makes a difference. But I understand, some providers out here mirror the same type of guys in the "scene" and across the net. Like I said earlier, dating and a relationship isn't on their agenda.

That’s good that you’ve shared some of your financial savvy. However, I think your message was directed for another thread, sir. Perhaps it was more geared towards the other thread that talks about advance deposits, which I’ve clarified here That said, I can briefly just address what you’ve said now. 90 days of savings assumes an escort is getting clients steadily, few cancellations OR rescheduled cancellations. Unfortunately, in the real world, that doesn’t happen. That also doesn’t compensate the fact that one escort may have the demand to reach many more clients (whether that be looks, ability to host/travel, being in a favorable market, able to command the price desired etc etc). It’s easy to talk money when you’ve got money. But not everyone has it. You can have all the financial savvy skills at your disposal, but if you ain’t making X amount more times your bills (which we might as well assume, are unavoidable), you can’t save. And with escorts just recently coming out of FOSTA/SESTA, numerous website closures (rentboy, men4rent, backpage, hour boy, Craigslist, and now: very few sites allow rates to be posted) this whole situation is just another setback in the setbacks that have ALREADY occurred in the last 2-5 years. So last thing I need to hear, is somebody telling me what I should of, coulda or, would of done. Not when the odds have been stacked against us every 2 years. In addition, those SBA loans, explicitly disqualified those businesses of a “sexual nature”: https://www.google.com/amp/s/blavity.com/amp/adult-entertainment-businesses-ineligible-for-finacial-aid-amid-global-pandemic Businesses and self-employed individuals within the legal sex industry aren't eligible for loans or grants from the Small Business Administration (SBA) following the passing of a milestone $2 trillion coronavirus relief bill.

That’s good that you’ve shared some of your financial savvy. However, I think your message was directed for another thread, sir. Perhaps it was more geared towards the other thread that talks about advance deposits, which I’ve clarified here That said, I can briefly just address what you’ve said now. 90 days of savings assumes an escort is getting clients steadily, few cancellations OR rescheduled cancellations. Unfortunately, in the real world, that doesn’t happen. That also doesn’t compensate the fact that one escort may have the demand to reach many more clients (whether that be looks, ability to host/travel, being in a favorable market, able to command the price desired etc etc). It’s easy to talk money when you’ve got money. But not everyone has it. You can have all the financial savvy skills at your disposal, but if you ain’t making X amount more times your bills (which we might as well assume, are unavoidable), you can’t save. And with escorts just recently coming out of FOSTA/SESTA, numerous website closures (rentboy, men4rent, backpage, hour boy, Craigslist, and now: very few sites allow rates to be posted) this whole situation is just another setback in the setbacks that have ALREADY occurred in the last 2-5 years. So last thing I need to hear, is somebody telling me what I should of, coulda or, would of done. Not when the odds have been stacked against us every 2 years. In addition, those SBA loans, explicitly disqualified those businesses of a “sexual nature”: https://www.google.com/amp/s/blavity.com/amp/adult-entertainment-businesses-ineligible-for-finacial-aid-amid-global-pandemic Businesses and self-employed individuals within the legal sex industry aren't eligible for loans or grants from the Small Business Administration (SBA) following the passing of a milestone $2 trillion coronavirus relief bill.

I can see your point here. And from my experiences as an escort, dealing with other escorts; some have differing levels of integrity (the last escort I hung out with thought it was cute to shoplift, so I had to keep my wallet out of reach during the whole 45 minutes I wasted my time meeting back up with him after a pretty hot 3 way client session a week prior) So in some ways, I can understand the client’s end of things. Clients don’t want to be used as a pawn ♟ There’s also 1 important thing I noticed in this thread, that no one mentioned: A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough I think what stands out, is the escort contacted the client and asked for a deposit. That in itself was the wrong move. The very few clients who have “sponsored” me, have done so out of their own generosity, and after speaking in person that “if I ever need anything, let them know”. I’d never initiate asking a deposit for future meetings. I would only do that if someone contacts me and wishes to schedule an appointment, not the other way around. Like the other week, someone requested an appointment in a nearby state. All I did was send him my booking links to confirm, and he sent me $500 before we had even set a date. Which was certainly more than what I was expecting. By the time I met him, I had only touched $50 of that, as that’s all I needed to get down there as accommodations were taken care of by him. But it just goes show: I didn’t ask, he offered. I simply made myself available, and did the run down as I always do. I ask for deposits, but generally for visits within the near future, and if it involves travel or hosting when it involve hotels (helps cut down on the “oh I can’t make it” brigade, after I’ve already paid for the venue) Not for some ambivalent future date.

I can see your point here. And from my experiences as an escort, dealing with other escorts; some have differing levels of integrity (the last escort I hung out with thought it was cute to shoplift, so I had to keep my wallet out of reach during the whole 45 minutes I wasted my time meeting back up with him after a pretty hot 3 way client session a week prior) So in some ways, I can understand the client’s end of things. Clients don’t want to be used as a pawn ♟ There’s also 1 important thing I noticed in this thread, that no one mentioned: A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough I think what stands out, is the escort contacted the client and asked for a deposit. That in itself was the wrong move. The very few clients who have “sponsored” me, have done so out of their own generosity, and after speaking in person that “if I ever need anything, let them know”. I’d never initiate asking a deposit for future meetings. I would only do that if someone contacts me and wishes to schedule an appointment, not the other way around. Like the other week, someone requested an appointment in a nearby state. All I did was send him my booking links to confirm, and he sent me $500 before we had even set a date. Which was certainly more than what I was expecting. By the time I met him, I had only touched $50 of that, as that’s all I needed to get down there as accommodations were taken care of by him. But it just goes show: I didn’t ask, he offered. I simply made myself available, and did the run down as I always do. I ask for deposits, but generally for visits within the near future, and if it involves travel or hosting when it involve hotels (helps cut down on the “oh I can’t make it” brigade, after I’ve already paid for the venue) Not for some ambivalent future date.

Good questions, complex answers: but obviously unemployment and small business loans are the 1st to come to mind. I know someone in every capacity you mentioned. Especially bartenders. I haven't confided in everyone's personal financial business, but I know some people are relying on "Very limited". savings or already getting the benefits that have been distributed. I seen lots of people on social media flustered about the whole unemployment process, but there they were. Otherwise, self isolation...as I've said before and provided articles to explain, are meant for those people who have been actually confirmed and sick with the virus. Or those with high risks of dying from it, which certainly isn't men who have sex with men (the usual high risk group for other types of diseases). Social isolation was not intended to be a rule for every single human being in the country. You (along with some of the others in this thread) need to read the article I posted previously...so you understand better: Social distancing, quarantine, isolation Cancelling events that are likely to draw crowds is an example of social and physical distancing. People who have been exposed to the new coronavirus and who are at risk for coming down with COVID-19 might practice self-quarantine. For people who are confirmed to have COVID-19, isolation is appropriate. Isolation is a health care term that means keeping people who are infected with a contagious illness away from those who are not infected. The problem is, People are misinterpreting these terms, and using it to condemn and criticize the decisions of others. And THAT is what I have an issue with

I absolutely, 100% agree with the above (even though Kevin Slater is right 99.9% of the time lol). I tried that last month, opening a gofund me so I wouldn’t have to “directly” ask friends for assistance, after I came down with an unexpected health issue (non sexually related) and was out of commission for 6 days + over $800 in unexpected car repairs. I made it thru all 3, and survived (thank goodness it was before the brunt of the virus restrictions started making headlines) but it was the week after, that I really started to feel the sting. The money I had saved up and set aside, was gone. Add to that, I was out of town (living in Florida temporarily for the “In” season). My friends made a complete mockery out of me. Saying very rude things and giving horrible advice. I forgave them all, and they all came back around once they seen I came back, but in my spirit I will never forget. They’re all too happy to see me spend money around them, but in my eyes they were being mean spirited because I was in sunny Florida, while they were still stuck in winter. When the pandemic made headlines, I felt a sense of being understood (thru the universe). People finally understand you can lose all sense of financial stability, when something unexpected happens...out of your control. How I ultimately pulled myself together, were all client related. Had 3 clients from Thursday to Saturday which was 1,050 (obviously one was a longer session). Paid my RentMen ads, bills, then bounced back. The next week, 4 clients, then got out of dodge when Florida announced they’d be closing beaches. But I learned from there, most gay friends (and likely friends in general) are only around for convenience and during good times. Some do help...but only when you’re in their presence. Once you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind. And that’s why it’s so important that I continue to carry on during this time, because I can’t expect to fall back or get help from anyone else who’s not a client or Uncle Sam.

Thats great. And perhaps you can share that in the other thread as well: https://m4m-forum.org/threads/deposit-for-future-meetings-during-current-downtime.156950/page-3#post-1900144 On the 1 side, people here are saying it’s not safe and see no one. On the other end, there’s talks to not pay for an advance session with a provider. Without a working solution, some conversations don’t give much in the way of an alternative. So it’s helpful to get input from both sides. I know for me, I had went thru the trenches back in February and March. Health issues+car trouble all within 2 weeks. Then I kept having appointments fall thru back to back, all while being out of town. The pandemic is actually what finally allowed me to get a footing. Hotels emptied out, traffic eased up, and people needed relaxation asap. Those moments let me realize if I could make it thru that, even when it seemed impossible, I’m going to always try to find a way to get thru a situation. I had 2 helpful regulars, but 1 of my most reliable ones, couldn’t assist last month. So even though it makes for a great “business partner”, I know I have to still go out and do me regardless.

Wow, I actually feel honored. I never knew I had black magical ??‍♂️ powers. All I have to do is have an opinion about 2 people choosing to meet for an intimate experience, and I can use my powers on others who have nothing to do with the situation at hand? I think you need to stop being mean spirited and angry. It’s not good for your soul. Or the others who you virtually touch. Why are you so mean and nasty? Is that really who you are, or you just playing up a character? I’ve been seeing too many arguments breaking out on Facebook about people’s differing opinions. It’s doing absolutely nothing to bring people together. People are creating chaos and animosity, out of their judgmental comments and disagreeing with differing opinions.