TallMuscl37

That’s understandable... One reason (of many) I’m not into Grindr marketing is because it caters to the “right now” brigade. Even when I’m on there for my personal time, I feel it’s often now or never. And likewise, sometimes I need now instead of never lol. But that kind of booking often leads to flaked or rushed appointments. I been meaning to block someone who contacted me couple weeks ago: he stated he was in a hotel in South Kansas City, and even asked if it would be too far for me. Technically it wasn’t, but it was like 10:30 p.m. I had gotten comfortable and needed like an hour. Then he says it would be too late because he would be sleep. What the fuck did he expect? Me to be over in 10 minutes? Very rude and disrespectful. But it doesn’t surprise me considering majority of the inquiries out of Kansas City are trash anyway. Idk if it’s because it’s a crossroads City or the overall vibe or what. But I’ve already seen many providers here don’t last or often go elsewhere.

This is an annual topic it seems lol. Personally: I don’t find it to be any busier the day of Pride, but I do notice it can be busier around that time. But some years it’s been quieter.

oh wow, yeah I’m def not at 4%. That’s almost all muscle fiber. But considering the tan, flexing and oil rub, it does give it an extra “contoured” look. But like I said: if the guy pictured was an escort, I would not think: “wow, that’s a lot of work to be a sex worker”. I would just think: this is a person who is very serious about his fitness goals, and just happens to be a sex worker.

I’m 200+ pounds and just diet and exercise. I don’t know my BF % lately but it could be a lot lower if I cut out a couple of things. I also don’t get to the gym as often as I could because I’m often taking appointments, or busy with real life shit. But It’s not always juice involved with everyone. And just to be clear: I’m not suggesting that the escort in question is vain or whatever... because obviously I don’t know him. And @Benjamin_Nicholas and @Monarchy79 are both right that there’s nothing wrong with aspiring to attain and maintain a certain look, and there’s nothing wrong with taking the steps to make it happen. And it doesn’t have to be solely for the sake of escorting, it can be an enjoyable and healthy self-desired thing to do. But what I am saying is: it’s not necessary to “boost” ones way thru escorting artificially, just for the sake of doing it. And like someone mentioned, a person would probably do it anyway whether they’re an escort or not, if that’s what they want to do.

Just noticed this message, must have missed it in between replying to the previous one. But yes, you are spot on! People, especially “gay guys” (I know it’s Pride Month, but considering the level of overblown egos and general self serving mentality that seem to frequent the gay community, I think it’s time to start calling it something different...maybe “National LGBTQ ACCEPTANCE Month” Anyhow though, yeah it is sad that people who book us can be wishy washy. And I totally get it. Clients have told me how nervous and difficult it was to make the move to hire. However, I still have to treat things matter of factly. And hosting without a deposit in the way I host, is out of the question. Since the update, I have noticed only slightly fewer requests for incalls... but that’s alright by me because I’m not catering to the “can I come over right now” brigade. Which is not an issue either, long as they do the deposit. But when I’m home, it’s hard for me to do last minute appointments so I miss a good chunk of weekday lunch hour business.

Interesting story you gave. I’ve always said, many clients don’t always realize what goes on behind the scenes and what all we put into to create an experience. However, in the case of this guy...I don’t really see how it emphasizes what an escort has to do. Non of what you mentioned, that he mentioned...is exclusive or necessary to being a sex worker. Gay guys who aren’t escorts go to the gym, do roids, get cosmetic and gym stuff too. Non of it is really a requirement or “background” to being an escort. When I started in the game back in 2008, I was a skinny kid with a chipped tooth...but still managed to attract a following. I’m not saying that providers don’t (or shouldn’t) put a lot of work into their appearance or biz, but not all of us are hell bent on the superficial/expensive aspects of vanity. Escorting is not a beauty contest or bodybuilding competition. You can really just be a regular guy who takes good care of himself, knows how to tap into a base, and have a genuine like for the type of clients who come to you. So in the case of the provider: I don’t really see it as being “doing all that to be an escort”, but more of “I’m being an escort so I can also maintain all of that”. And that’s not me trying to be a bitch: but I hear guys think about coming into escorting so they can support a lavish lifestyle...and I’m like, don’t get your hopes up. It ain’t that easy lol. I introduced one friend of mine who is an “aspiring” escort to a client buddy of mine, over dinner. He had all the beauty and glitz, but not even 2 minutes went by, my client got up and left the table. My friend was being an obnoxious queen, and my client was not for it.

Adam4Adam... it really just takes a certain approach. I don’t waste time chit chatting on there, but it’s still a useful resource. I once winked at a profile on there (I don’t generally contact people to solicit but may send a hi or see who’s viewed me.. but even then) and he later booked a $400 session. But again, it’s rare. I used to like it when it was only $10 a month. It’s $30 now. However, at $10 a month I noticed there was more “sketchy” providers advertising. But If it goes up any more than $30-$40, I would likely move on. I probably only get 1 or 2 bookings (out of dozens of messages) each billing cycle.

Good word 👏🏽 I especially emphasize the part when you say “waiting around on the off chance”. I understand and can even appreciate guys seeing my ad and wanting to meet right away. But I really don’t like being “assumed” that I’m available just out the blue. I know gay sex has happened like that for millions of years before the advent of cell phones, but it doesn’t mean that it needs to stay that way. Fortunately, as I’m getting “older” (older as in mid 30s versus early 20s) I’m finding clients are more willing to schedule ahead, but that also makes me expect less that I “have to” do last minute visits. At the same time...I’ve met a lot of great clients who just happened to want to meet the same day, and not always with a whole lot of notice. Which is okay.

Wow. That’s odd considering one must log on in order to be available, unless one is doing so via the RentMen chat app (which I appreciate them for doing for the very shy guys, but I don’t conduct biz thru it and simply have an auto-reply on).

Here’s my thing: I don’t feel like bottoms should “dominate” their tops. I’m not saying that’s what you were doing, but to me it can be a turn off. It’s one thing to ask for what you want, it’s another thing to dictate how a top should fuck you. Let the Top fuck you the way he wants to fuck you. Long as it’s not a case of you needing extra gentle, the idea of “bossing” a top around is somewhat contradictive. As for charging more for certain services: Some of those you mentioned are included in some price points, others it isn’t. I don’t charge per “act”, I go by per experience. There’s vanilla experience price and then there’s blow your mind price point. Priced accordingly. That said, anything too outlandishly freaky... I’ve learned to just not accept. Just because I’m a provider advertising on a site, doesn’t mean I will agree to any and everything. I no longer agree to do certain activities especially, with new clients. I want to exude the idea of having sex with Trey Songz, not Mr. T 😆

Just curious, not trying to player-hate on anyone’s game. But this is a Question for clients and providers alike. I don’t often cruise ads of other providers, but I do log onto RentMen nearly daily to check my messages/pics/updates. One thing I notice, it’s often a select few guys who are always “available now”. Whether they actually are available or not is one thing, but to me I wonder if there’s any real benefit to doing so. Or even more so, slightly suspicious looking. I personally only occasionally post “available now”. In reality, I’m rarely ever available now, and even if I am: it’s not how I prefer to arrange appointments. Not to mention, many guys looking in the moment don’t want to wait or expect unrealistic arrival times. How much luck of a draw is it, to think one can text/call a masseur/escort out the blue with no advanced planning, and expect them to arrive/be able to host in 20-30 minutes? Can one actually expect to get a provider who’s in their best, out of that? So idk, it makes me wonder. I may post available now, but I still require a 1 to 2 hour minimum notice. I wish RentMen would have it as “available today” versus “available now”, to avoid any unrealistic expectations. Not to mention the most obvious thing: I hardly get any texts or calls looking to meet now; when I post available now, anyway. So it’s really pointless to do so most days. So it makes me wonder why certain guys are always “available now” round the clock, to begin with.

The only sites I use now in 2021: Rentmen RentMass Adam4Adam Satellite sites include this forum, Twitter (and Twitter is like the art gallery crawl of porn/escorting...mainly for display/getting name out there) and my JFF platform. Very rarely I’ll use Grindr, and only in certain markets (sleepy towns with low competition and a wealthy base). That said, I am content with the level of responses just from those 3 main sites. I used to lament on the fact that websites were being taken away, but in reality: it starts becoming a money pit when you’re paying (rebill discount not included) $99 on men4rent (defunct), $99 on rentboy (defunct), $99 on RentMen, and $99 on a combination of A4A, Craigslist and backpage. No matter how much I could make, $200-$400 a month on advertising is excessive considering flakes, hotels/travel, and overall dead days. I’m okay keeping these websites out of my pockets. I know there’s also jock2go, but sometimes it gets to a point where you’re paying to be on the same sites that clients are going to be looking at over and over anyway. I’m sure there’s a perk to being seen over and over...but I like to concentrate on 2-4 ads, really work them and build them, and stay on top. When you have 5-6-10 ads floating around on the net, it can be hard to keep them all up to date. I tried mintboys, but after getting a really weird client who bullshitted me for weeks (fake pics, fake name, fake job description, emotionally needy, liar, never paid a deposit and flaked) AND THEN became verbally abusive, I haven’t had the desire to return to that wasteland.

I must say: I used the verbose emoji because it looks like “wow”, and I’m wowed at the results you collected, along with still retaining rentboy clients (hint hint webmasters for adding a wow emoji to the new platform 😉 Most all of my rentboy/backpage clients have either been lost or retained 🤷🏾‍♂️

Maybe “many” instead of “most”. But trying not to generalize and just speak as it relates to the context of this discussion

I’m not a client, but I’ve been quasi-ghosted by other escorts. I’ve even written about this on the board: I don’t know the specifics of your particular provider, but other escorts have chimed in regarding this. Most escort guys can be flaky. I mean, just on the message forum alone, we’ve seen guys come and go. It’s not an insult or obligation that they must stick around... but it’s how it is. My feeling is: 1. many escort guys don’t like confrontation in relational situations, and #2: I feel many escorts once they “get” what they want, they are liable to ghost at any moment. Then again: some of this is also just gay culture lifestyle. But when you add escort to the mix; more sex, more options, more unfamiliar personalities: the level of “answering to” anyone is far from expected. It’s for that reason that I’ve moved away from cultivating friends/fuck buddies with other escorts. I prefer now to mainly deal with clients and guys who aren’t in the industry. At the same time... my preference would be to make some good close friends and a partner who I don’t have to directly compete with, in the business.

... awaiting in kind 😏

Specifically speaking yes, but there’s other cases where even if it’s not within 24 hours... it’s still not cool.

My 2 pennies of cents: I’m not particularly thrilled with the layout change. I think the previous format was a lot more breezier to scroll thru, and the emoji’s were a bit more plentiful. This platform doesn’t have enough emojis, but it’s sufficient. At the same time: I know those in charge have to do what they have to do. Hopefully in favor. I know some sites over the years did not survive reformatting. Adam4Adam reformatted their site a couple or so times: each time there was a drop in business, but it always managed to rebound and still bring clients. However, it’s still not as profitable as it used to be, since they did the changes. However, it has seemed to have created a more user friendly platform, and it was just time for them to change. Initially I was annoyed with the new A4A site, but now I enjoy the layout. They stuck with their 90s layout for awhile, but their gradual change ensured a smooth transition. That’s what I think is a good idea for any site. That said, I hope we can adapt to the new layout, because it does look good. but personally I’m having trouble navigating on it using iPhone/mobile. Also I used to like when I had a few minutes to edit a post, before it shows I edited it. Like 5-10 minutes would be nice.

This is exactly how I feel about deposits. This and the rest of this topic. It’s really down to what you’re comfortable with... even though I also agree with @Benjamin_Nicholas that, you have to get past the initial level of over-discretion if you really want to next level in the business AND, weed out extra faff and questions. This is actually what makes me even more adamant to take deposits. Clients get to see my face and my privates in plain view, there should be 0 bitching and popping gums at the request for a deposit. The unbalance is unreal sometimes. That said: in my personal life outside of escorting, I don’t meet guys without a face pic. Mainly because majority are often flakes or catfishes. I know that’s different than the reason of the OP, but I personally don’t for those reasons. However: I do recall that at one point... not showing face pics was very common in escort ads in the early 2000s, and even NO PIC back in the days of magazine and newspaper ads. Times have changed, but it’s still worth mentioning. I know for me: I have a stack of business cards but I do not show my face on them. In that situation, it’s a little more important to be discreet for obvious reasons.

And even when some of them do communicate properly, it still doesn’t make it right. If someone books a provider’s time (especially in this type of business, and I’m not talking about other businesses... I’m talking about this one)...I feel it’s just the right thing to do to provide either a deposit on the front end or cancellation on the back end. Any client who cancels a session and doesn’t send a cancellation fee or deposit, is trash. Point blank period. Even when I tell my other clients things like this, they agree. Only shitty, inconsiderate clients book appointments with no real intention of keeping them. I even had one today do it again: he contacted me back in September and cancelled the visit when I was trying to pencil him in for later in the day. He books me yesterday for a visit: and low and behold, cancels AGAIN. Same pattern. They do it once and do it again. Can’t be trusted, which is why I’m even going to require deposit from previous clients who contacted and didn’t follow thru with their session.

Okay...you seem to be playing the devils advocate quite well. At the end of the day: it costs me money to host. Whether that’s in the form of a booking that could have been scheduled in place, or a hotel that was paid for and can’t be cancelled (and most hotels don’t allow cancellations when booked the same day anyway, even when they offer refundable or cancellation periods). That’s what you don’t seem to understand. I went thru the effort to book a room to host 2 clients who I thought would show, and neither of them showed. I had no other clients booked that day or night. So I lost money on the room. Had a gotten a deposit like I was doing before, I would have weeded them out or atleast covered part or all of the room. If clients think they can cancel without consequence as you say, then I don’t want to deal with them. It’s not about consequence, it’s about making sure I’m not doing work and effort before I get paid. Because guess who has to deal with the consequence of them cancelling if they don’t show? THE PROVIDER.

Well like I said previously: I’m stepping back from what other providers are or aren’t doing. Like I said: I’ve worked side by side with providers who don’t mind the “come over right now” brigade. But I’ve also seen them wait in the wings of, “he might be coming, but I think he’s playing around”. And they deal with that round the clock on every tour. They may tell you as a client one thing, but I know 1st hand what it’s like. I know one guy who came to my town and had a handful of clients, but he also told me about 6 people no showed/no called him. More power to him, but I don’t have that level of tolerance. If I can weed out the ones who likely won’t show with a deposit, I’ve saved myself a lot of valuable time. It’s not just “my area”. It’s the whole of the United States. Every state. Every state has the same predictable ways. I know because I’ve been to all of them. Some worse or better than others.

I actually have majority of clients making electronic payments. In fact on a recent trip, all my clients in 1 weekend used an app to pay for the session, even without my asking. I even have clients who encourage me to ask for deposits lol. I understand the first time and very new and nervous probably wouldn’t feel comfortable, but they too are more likely to not show up. Again: I’m offering options. I’m not saying every client must provide a deposit. If they can host, I’m willing to be flexible. The thing is when it comes down to me hosting, I don’t want to just plan things loosely on the basis that they might show up. If they have the means to host, by all means. I feel like there’s an unspoken truth that men feel less inclined to commit to sessions, when they aren’t the one doing the hosting. And that’s understandable: But don’t have me going thru the effort to host, and then not show up.

Interesting point you make: I could see how that would seem to be the case. However, I actually do like what I do. At the same time: I’ve been around long enough to know what I feel comfortable operating. Based on the original I posted: It wasn’t case where I didn’t enjoy what I was doing: it was a case where I had done the necessary production to host 2 incall sessions: and ended up stood up in the process. I’ve used this similarity before about wedding planners: they always take deposits. Likewise, I would like to take deposits. The issue comes when guys want to reason and disagree about sending one: yet when I actually let my guards down and do without: I end up getting stiffed. That’s what the problem is. It’s not me who has an issue with the business, it’s some who have issues with how providers operate. 2 different things.

It’s hard to tell. Sounds like he did good to deliver each time previously, maybe it was just an off night. I do think the “I’m not a robot” comment seems a bit snarky, especially during or after sex. I would only use that when talking to my friends or in a general conversation about sex work, but not directly to a client. Sometimes when I don’t feel like cumming, I’ll just tell a client that I don’t want to feel tired after or have that “rush” of energy leave my body so early in the day/evening. And that I’m fine with not cumming if it’s not a big deal for them.