TallMuscl37

Well my philosophy on that is usually: don’t take it out on me, because I’m not them. And a client could also say, “well don’t take it out me!” And next thing you know, it becomes a competition on who should be more trusting of whom. I’m just like look: If you go to someone’s place of business, you can’t just barge in and break all the rules. Already twice this week, I’ve had someone who either didn’t read the ad or purposely thought I could make an exception. No.

Well…I can’t speak for being blocked on RentMen specifically, but if you faked out on another provider in the past, maybe info was shared and you’re on his “do not rent list”. Lol… good point. Man oh man. I just don’t know what to say about that anymore. I’ve had this come up lately, and even though I would love to foster a good escort on escort connection, many of these guys have approached me with trashy 🚮 vibes. I can see filming content being a valid reason, but I’ve now had 2 guys flake out on even doing that. One didn’t want to come to my place because it was “too far”, nor could he host. Another guy was down for awhile, then changed up tune last minute. Then he started talking smack towards me, after I shared some personal insight with him…which I won’t do with again. Then added extra commentary about how he, and another local escort have hooked up together. I’m getting closer to: if there’s not a direct plan to doing something business related, I don’t want to be bothered. Some of these other guys out here come off real weird in their vibes. Just makes me wonder what’s up with them. I don’t need the presumptuous, phony behavior around me. I deal with that enough as it is 🤦🏽‍♂️ Like, I just had a “client” yesterday walk into my room and only had $20 and some change. Fortunately I learned my lessons in the past, to NEVER provide a service to clients from certain sites, who haven’t already paid a full deposit. Showed him the 🚪

Even in a spur of moment case like this, it sounds like the 2 of you also were nearby and had some options and flexibility on who can host who. Which is an advantage… I don’t mind short notice stuff when in a setting that’s conducive for it. But, asking to meet short notice like in the middle of the day during the week isn’t quite so. If it’s late night, and I’m hosting or able to travel out with my “available now” green light on, then by all means something short notice can be anticipated and welcome.

+2 on that. I did notice in San Francisco there has always been less “spur of moment” bookings. I wish I could move there. Likely because a big city as such, people just can’t do that. It takes atleast some intent of planning to navigate traffic and the fact not every gay lives in the same neighborhood in town, like some cities often expect escorts to be in. It seems like some of these “medium big” cities seem to operate on a basis of meeting “now”. Often due to the need to squeeze in time when the wife or hubby steps out. Not knocking anyone who needs to be discrete or has such situations. But I can’t be humanly expected to accommodate something on short notice, that I don’t know is supposed to happen. I think that’s the headbanger of working in certain markets. It can be hard, when most of the bookings seem to come at unexpected times. I can literally sit around all day, and have free time to myself. No one books. But every time I decide to spend time with someone in personal life, that’s when they want to meet NOW. It never fails. Ever.

Las Vegas has the potential when done strategically. I learned after my first visit, never go unless it’s a confirmed client or 2. To just go there and set up shop to take appointments will 99% of the time lead to disappointment. I even worked in Reno and had the same results. Was so tired after driving from San Francisco, and needed an extra day break before continuing on to my next destination. Had 2 clients, non who actually showed up. I won’t make that mistake again. A hard lesson I learned: just because a city has lots of escorts doesn’t mean shit in terms of how great it’ll be. It can be enticing to a rookie, to go to a crowded market, thinking: there’s lots of escorts there, this will be great for me. It’s rarely the case. At least not in America where everyone is attention deficit or, can plan an appointment more than 30 minutes after conception.

That’s the thing: I understand horny but I need something to work with. Even if I was just a guy out here looking, I’d contact the person and ask how we can meet, whether host or travel/etc. and be prepared to do either. Lot of these guys just come to the table expecting something to be laid out for them: that I never expected to begin with. Then the day I was hosting, only 1 pre-booked client showed up (we haven’t met since last year because he’d also do the same thing) but finally gotten to understand it’ll never happen if I don’t get enough notice. We stay right down the street from each other too… I had someone like that earlier this month. It was almost amusing to just keep telling him no, no, no…day after day after day. It’s like, when are you going to get it? I’m never going to be available, for something I don’t even know I need to be available for lol. We did finally meet but, I think he tried it again and I was unavailable again. Having an ad up doesn’t mean available at any time. It would be nice to do so, but the times I do that: I end up getting so bored that I leave town or check out of the hotel I’m in. That’s what people don’t get: I can’t just pay for something with no guarantee on return. And hotels right now are just unfairly expensive. I seen a lady in the Bay Area who charges an EXTRA $200 to host clients. I’m starting to lean towards that myself ASAP as possible (though maybe just an extra $100-150). I’m just getting so annoyed by stuff like that. You either have to pay for an expensive apartment in the city, or rent hotels to be able to accommodate most clients. I opted for the latter because I don’t like the pressure of trying to pay rent, and there’s been many times I’ve mailed rent checks out while I’m on tour paying for hotels.

This seems to be a never-ending discussion and I just don’t know how men will ever evolve to understand… What I can’t understand, are clients who contact for an appointment…usually same day. They are hurried to meet by a certain time, yet will send a message like 1 or 2 hours before the latest they can meet: which is often something like, text me at 11:30-1230 in afternoon but can only meet by 2 p.m. it’s often always the same old times too. Where do people learn this behavior from? You can’t expect to just barge into someone’s schedule without any sort of coordination. What’s worse is: it’s not like these people are new to hiring. They been doing the rounds for awhile. Common sense should tell them: I probably shouldn’t contact an escort the afternoon that I have time free (and 99.9% of time, they expect me to also be ready to host). Like, if they’re going to do that, at least be flexible. Be able to host AND travel. Lot of them can only do 1, and expect instant accommodation. No, life doesn’t work that way. Idk why some expect me to run my schedule like a lottery. I have to be “lucky” and “catch them” at the right pick of the draw. Why make someone you want to hookup and have a relaxing time with, feel rushed and annoyed. 🤦🏽‍♂️ Doesn’t make much sense. On top of that: even if a person can host, how would they know if the escort’s location is convenient to where they can get to in the amount of time they need? Like today: there was a drive-by that had the main freeway coming out of downtown shutdown, and traffic was diverted and backed up for miles. Even if I agreed to see him, he would have been very late arriving and likely not able to come at all.

It’s crazy how many naughty ones are on that list. In one city I stay in, almost every person who texts has a bad review, and rightfully so because I’ve blocked those same ones before. Or they’ll do something stupid, and contact months later like it never happened. Idk why some cities (**coughs 🤧 St. Louis/KC) just have so many clients with bad reviews. Tricky part is some of the same clients on there have good comments and bad. I’ll give a good feedback, but I will include if the person played around with me before or during the booking process.

Well: the OP did bring it up, however most only gave a simple yes or no answer versus actual experiences. Yeah snoring is “common” but it’s only “normal” to the degree that if someone can’t sleep next to that person, that goes from common and normal to something else. It’s not so much of it being “weird”, but I think the question explicitly asked: It wasn’t whether it’s weird or normal, but rather: what would do? And I mentioned I’ve let people know it may be something to get treated for. Because many seem to be unaware. Even beyond clients, I’ve had nightmare dates who have snored all night and I barely got a wink of sleep. One guy couple months back: he snored all night, (he was younger and in shape, which was unexpected) and was up moving and shaking at 6 a.m. to go to work, and because we only met twice guess he didn’t trust leaving me at his house. I probably only had 2 hours of sleep 🤦🏽‍♂️

Hmmm, I have to counter that. Snoring is shouldn’t ignored/normal and can be rather a serious issue: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sleep-apnea/symptoms-causes/syc-20377631 I have known a few clients who actively sleep with Cpap machines. I remember a client years ago who I never spent a night with, but Lord have Mercy, the one night we did: it was like a buzzsaw all night. I hardly got a wink of sleep. Even being downstairs with headphones didn’t work. He told me, “I didn’t wear my Cpap machine, but I will tonight”. I even encouraged a regular client of mine to get a Cpap a few months ago. It didn’t even seem like he was ever sleeping. He would snore, and then wake up talking every 30 seconds. When he went to do the test, they found it to be severe. Idk how nobody ever told him. But, he lives alone. I want to hear any of the guys here who think they can sleep thru THAT level of snoring haha. I’d need to be drunk or on sleep drugs because that’s the only time I can actually sleep deep enough thru someone’s snoring 😆 And I’m a deep sleeper. But not when there’s a repeated noise like an alarm for hours at a time. I have a friend now who snores so loud also, but he just won’t get the machine. We spent 1 night in a hotel together, never again.

It’s stable, until it’s not. I’ve worked at enough “real” jobs to know. Unless you’re in a position to be that indispensable person who can’t easily be replaced. Of course having 2 going at once does provide cushion, but people often fail to understand not everyone has the time or desire to juggle 2 or more lines of work. I have a client who owns a grocery store, but he’s ready to retire and travel and see the country. Most can’t do both.

I disagree. I never felt Corporate 9 to 5s are stable when someone else has the authority to say "your fired/laid off". I wasn't born yesterday. Cases in point: And... And...

Anytime someone includes “real job” while referencing “escorting” in the same sentence, I just know they aren’t somebody to have a conversation with. I’ve even seen clients on Adam4Adam use that terminology in their profile, and expect me to respond to them. And since some posters want to be smart ass and ask fucking rhetorical questions, let me ask: how much would THEY charge to **** someone who wasn’t particularly their type? Because last time I checked: a dude during a hypothetical pool party conversation was like, “yeah for a $100,000, I’ll sleep with ANYBODY “ while adding adjectives such as fat and ugly behind it (not my words, his).So yah, $300/400 is a unprecedented discount lol. That’s where clients go wrong when they try to act like we owe them a certain price, especially regulars who get used to paying only so much. A average guy ” WITH A REAL JOB” my caliber, would charge them $1,000 or more. If money would even buy in the 1st place, because if they’re making money at a real job, why would they want to sleep with somebody who’s so far from the type, for less than their weekly paycheck? MoFos out here can be so entitled and ungrateful 😤 (not you, them).

Good questions, but all very easy to answer. And I’ll tell you exactly: #1: if I advertised in a city: I don’t even PLAN to go UNLESS I have appointment INTEREST set up. So me scheduling appointments in another city without PLANS to go, wouldn’t even exist in my reality. You’re making a hypothetical assumption that doesn’t necessarily apply to me, but rather a variable among other providers as a whole that you may have heard or experienced from other providers who have nothing to do with me. In addition: I always ask clients very basic info which includes an opening for them to share any details regarding if they’re visiting specifically for the session, what THEIR schedule is (which will also open the door to share or mention work plans which they 99% of the time will do because you can’t answer the question fully without including). In the rare case that I do have to cancel a visit that was SPECIFICALLY BOOKED for the client, I try to ensure I accommodate them in the future or give access to my content, which is technically a “cancellation fee”….because they aren’t contacting me for money, they’re contacting for the other thing. That’s where #2, you are getting it wrong from the jump. They’re in it for goods, I’m in it for money. Has a company ever actually paid a customer for something he didn’t actually buy? No. Does a company (e.g. custom bakery shop, wedding) actually charge a customer for some of the legwork that has to be done PRIOR to the actual event? Yes. Deposits don’t limit anything for me, except headache and bullshit fuckers. Which is, exactly the point. Instincts really don’t mean much when dealing with someone you’ve never met. Instincts can say no, no, no or yes, yes, yes…and the person can still do exactly opposite of what instinct would say to do. Also, I don’t even talk on the phone with clients anymore. Most clients who call me, get sent to voicemail. Today: I had 2 phone calls and NEITHER were any good. Case I. Point: Caller #1 (newbie) Never replied back. Of course, doesn’t sound like I’m the first: Then another call today, which I swiftly declined and sent to voicemail. Was a client I met previously. Thank Gawd I didn’t pick up 🤦🏽‍♂️ He had the wrong number, and apologized for the mistake. But still…it’s exact reason I don’t bother answering phone calls. I may answer a call once every few months, but with these 2 examples above: I will probably never answer an unexpected phone call on my client phone ever again. In this biz: lots of people have advice/suggestions/opinions/tidbits but yet few have actual experience day in/day out. I told one local guy few weeks ago: unless I ask you for advice, don’t tell me how to run my life. I don’t care if you’ve been an escort for 30 years: you and me are not the same person. Some people try to give advice to others from their perspective, which may come from a privileged/opportunity stance but not one that addresses the circumstances of a particular person.

Are you coming from an escort or client perspective? it is a biz but everyone has a right to do as they choose to run it. That’s the great thing about being an independent. You don’t HAVE to do anything that you don’t want. And you can set boundaries where there needs to be. People thought I was crazy to start asking deposits. I’ve been doing so exclusively for past few months. Even though I can’t stop everything, it’s helped avoid a lot of things. If nothing else, gives me and the client assurance. And as usual, you can’t compare what other providers do. Nobody is alike. We all come from different places, different outlooks on life, different priorities, different levels of tolerances, different experiences, different needs, different upbringing, different goals, different backgrounds, different finances… Need I say more? lol.

It seems very few people can survive off of any 1 job though. Lots of people are doing 2-3 jobs. Which is fine if they need to do so. But it just depends on what you want out of life. Some people want to finance homes and “new” cars, the latest this and that gadget. Others prefer a more simple, free spirited lifestyle that doesn’t involve early mornings, long hours, and fake smiles. The only time I find life stressful is when I’m working in a shitty, low budget market. But most times, I’m happy with just 1 or 2 clients a day. I never discuss how much I make with others, but technically I could qualify for a $1,000 a month apartment if I wanted to (which can be a lot or nothing depending on your market)… but I can’t really trust that I’ll want to be stuck in another city paying rent, waiting for the same dried up client pool to contact me. when I could be out traveling the country, and naming my own price on rent. If I feel like staying at the embassy suites, I can. If I want the Econo lodge, I can do that too. Sometimes I’ll switch between both depending on the city and my schedule. However I am considering “settling down” eventually but I need to have confidence I’m making the right decision. I been based in St. Louis and considering moving there, but it can go from busy to completely dead month by month. It’s hard for me to trust living there full time will be a smart move.

Established, repeat customers. That’s the key words. Remember my previous post about the 1 time regular? The ones who show up once, then make booking requests over a 2 year period that they can never seem to keep. That’s a 1 time regular. And in some markets, it’s hard to build and keep regulars because it’s lots of other providers all trying to get the same limited pool of clients. And that’s not taking San Francisco or New York. It’s the more limited markets where there seems to be lots of escorts, but the general population is either frugal, “don’t pay for s**, or only likes a certain type (e.g. the “all American (White) look). That can be hell to contend with. Not enough new clients, no frequent enough regulars. It’s no wonder one escort in Kansas City told me, “all the escorts he knows has regular jobs”. Of course they would. That doesn’t mean that’s a standard rule of being an escort. It just means some cities aren’t lucrative enough to sustain over an extended amount of time. Doesn’t mean I have to do something I don’t want to do, just to conform to what everybody else is doing. Most the escorts I know (who are serious and doing well) are always traveling. So, very different perspectives. And a lot of the clients in the shitty markets have multiple bad reports from other providers. So, one can make an observation about who needs to be doing what.

Although this sounds like a set of storybook criteria that would be ideal for you, fact is: one can be all the above and still run into issues. As for being on time: some people out there want that but don’t return the favor with a timely response. I’ve had that twice this week. I message them/return their message and then they don’t reply back all day or until the next day, and expect me to be on time. One guy (a regular I actually like), I messaged him Saturday night about trying to set up a visit that he asked about (4th of July weekend, things are already hectic). He didn’t get back with me until Monday. Then wanted to meet the next day. I wanted to accommodate, but then I had to cancel because his time frame was limited and I’d be rushing to travel, check into my hotel and do the appointment by 3-4 p.m. Another guy, I sent a text Monday afternoon letting him know I’m available for an appointment. No response until 10:30 p.m. TUESDAY asking to come over. And he lives far. I started to, but then I told him we need to meet during the day because I’m not driving an hour in the dark and back to accommodate some half assed, last minute request. It gives an impression someone is putting a person on hold while they keep their options open, and then expect me to do backflips and accommodate them at the last minute. Then this morning sends a text talking about he had to cancel because he’s feeling sick 🤦🏽‍♂️ If someone doesn’t want their provider to be late: don’t wait so late to get back to them.

Is the deposit more inconvenient for the client than the cancellation is inconvenient for you? In that case: I would certainly advise to. Not all escorts work the same. Some out there don’t mind (or pretend they don’t) clients who cancel, but others may have more of a need to be certain the client will show up. Blocking a client is certainly a passive way of handling things, but I prefer to be more firm and stand up for yourself. Tell them you had an expectation for payment, and that you rely on appointments to follow thru because you paid your share upfront to make it happen, now they have to do their part. I feel the “blocking” culture has become so cliche. People just need to be upfront and communicate their expectations and desires. Blocking should be reserved for spam and safety purposes. However, if they refuse to reimburse, then block them. Because a few months later it could happen again (and they’ll act like it never happened either). Again, not everybody works the same so the level of importance of a session to go thru may differ. I hate using analogies sometimes to relate to sex work (because few are really relate-able enough to accurately portray the disappointment faced when a booking gets out right cancelled) but: think how air bnbs work versus cancelling a pizza. That freshly baked pizza can be consumed or taken home by an employee and probably costs $2-$4 to make. That $300 a night 2 bedroom villa can’t be rented out right away, and now has to possibly sit empty for a day or 2. Giving more than 1 chance is generous, however with the nature of the industry: I don’t feel someone should be given 2 chances to cancel (and 2 chances to NOT reimburse anything). However, it sometimes depends on how confirmed the booking was. Some cancellations can be so sly and clients may say, “well I didn’t confirm”. Whereas others are flat out cancelled.

I was in agreement with what was being said, until it turned into this: I didn’t say anything about refusal to pay or police. That’s not what I was referring to when I was talking about screening. He took it to a whole other level that wasn’t called for. I don’t mind varying input, but there’s no need to always turn the focus onto himself. On top of that, that’s misinformation and stigma.

Well, listen: you implied something and I responded to it. No need to minimize and make the discussion seem insignificant. If you’re going to tell me what I can’t do, you have to be open to hear the alternative. That’s all I’m trying to say.

I automatically include my number in my RM auto reply. I prefer to move to phone versus the platform. I will occasionally follow up with a regular reply in addition to my auto response, if I don’t hear back from the client. But overall, I don’t engage with back and forth conversations on there. If I did that regularly, I don’t think I would get much accomplished during my day. Not to mention, many of the messages I get on RM messenger are commentary, not informative. Therefore, it’s not much need for me to stay plugged in to it, responding round the clock. If I did that, I’d not get anything done throughout my week.

I have to disagree. The reason behind the situation is irrelevant. Abuse is abuse, and it’s no reason to believe someone shouldn’t be able to call the authorities in an abusive circumstance. That’s almost like saying, “someone overdosed on drugs, but since it’s illegal: don’t call 911”. Now if it’s a case of: “he didn’t pay me, I’m calling the police.”, that’s a whole other matter which would be considered civil and therefore non enforceable (but probably a good candidate for Judge Jerry).

By buffet, I meant “sampling tray”. And in that context I don’t specifically only mention clients (as I implied in this thread it extends broader than that, e.g. hookup etc). Like I said elsewhere, I met someone (non-client) without a number on a hookup site the other month (all the while my intuition was saying don’t do it, don’t do it, tell him to turn around and go home when he arrives if he can’t text me). He basically came over, did some lousy, rough foreply stuff and then got dressed after 10 minutes. Neither one of us getting off. It’s stuff like that which is the “red flag” of not wanting to exchange numbers. I think you’re taking things a little beyond the purpose of this post is discussing. All what you’re saying is +1 and great, but I’m talking moreso from a legitimate/safety aspect versus a client satisfaction point of view. Also I understand you’re coming from a different place, different country. Likely different attitudes towards the industry. Here in U.S., screening is just a common sense thing to do, AND… by not exchanging numbers, that lessens the chances of being able to screen them for reports.

Sometimes it’s not about putting people in boxes though. For me it’s moreso about experience. Nothing good has come from a person who doesn’t give a number before meeting. Either the sex sucks and they approach like it’s a buffet, or lousy communicators, or they don’t show up, or they do a “look and go”. Even if it’s nothing “bad”, I may just not like their approach. By not giving a number, it shows upfront a bit of unbalance (you have my number number and pics, but I don’t have yours). That’s not even how I want to start a meet. That’s also why I’m not huge on bathhouse sex because, I’m not big on the idea of fucking someone; often bareback…with no way of contacting at a later time. Atleast with a number someone can contact me and say, “hey I’ve tested positive for…”