TallMuscl37

Right, and even beyond a service industry: it should also be viewed as similar to planning things with family and friends. I know most wouldn’t accept some lousy half assed invite without raising a brow. Especially the person in the original post, it’s like why bother to inform me of plans if you’re just going to do everything your way with no input from me? And then get upset when it doesn’t work out. I know some things can/can’t be avoided, but shitty invites, leads to shitty planning. Luckily I had 1 sponsor and another regular who was able to make up for it. That client has been permanently filed to the shit pile 🚮

Or worse: go to bed hungry! lol And what really got me was: this client was like, “well I told you yesterday I was traveling to xxx city today”. Ummmmmm, sir, you only told me, when I contacted you first. And telling me the day before, for a location in another STATE is not ample notice. Especially when he told me Saturday he could be in 2 different cities on 2 different days, and waited until Wednesday to say which one. Like Gordon Ramsay would say: GTFO 🦶🏾 out! Last week Thanksgiving weekend (it’s an American thing, that once had a dark colonial beginning but now everyone expected to be happy and cheerful around annoying family members they don’t always like…still don’t know why they do it 500 years later lol), but anyway yeah; it’s a 4 or 5 day holiday in America. I had 3 clients, made decent money but: they all wanted to meet the same day they contacted. BUT, they gave somewhat decent notice and weren’t pushed for time. One did push us to the next morning, due to weather and I was okay with that. However, one was like: “hurry”. I said no: I asked you hours ago to confirm and send the deposit and you didn’t. And I told him, I’m not even getting dressed until I receive the deposit or room information. He understood.

I’m beginning to feel a need to stop accepting many of these types. It seems troublesome to try and book visits. No offense to anyone who fits these attributes. I’m referring to the ones who can’t compromise on time, always busy with work/travel/family affairs, can only ever offer one limited option to meet, despite me willing to being flexible (usually just have 1 day at 1 time available, etc). The “I can only meet between 1 and 2 p.m.” types. Ran into this with a return client I haven’t seen in awhile. Partly because most times we try to meet, it’s always something he has to work around. We were trying to meet in the same city, and he gave me 2 date possibilities in 2 different cities. But no confirmation of either. When I contact a few days to follow back up to see what’s he considering, he’s like: “I’m going to xxx tomorrow, and I have a room booked”. I’m thinking, WOW that’s a day earlier than planned (and I couldn’t leave that same day because I had doctor visit/packing to do). I thought he would check with me first, and coordinate which day/location would be best. But because of something that changed on his end, he decided to go earlier. Long story short: he gets to the city before me, and then can only stay 1 night only. I’m like, okay…but it’s going to need to be no pressures on arriving by a certain time. However, he seemed impatient like he can’t meet too late, and wants to get on his way home first thing in the morning. On the way, I end up with a punctured tire: which equated to a 3 hour delay. Of course he canceled. I ask if he can stay an extra day, he started being a bitch about it like he can’t, blah blah blah. I’m thinking to myself: this is just too much drama. I like clients who are flexible, aren’t always trying to cram a million things in and book an escort at the same time. Sure they have things to do but if I miss them one day, they’re always open to extend to the next or following. High Maintenance clients often seem to be under the erroneous impression that booking an escort means it should be easy as in: making them revolve around their schedule. Some like to say, “this is more complicated than I thought”. No…you are unavailable but expecting to include another life and schedule to work around it. THAT is complicated. Then, they get attitude at me and make me feel like I’m to blame, when in reality: they never had the basic courtesy to ASK ME and work with each OTHERS schedule in the first place. They just expect to plan things haphazardly, on their time, and expect it to all work out. It doesn’t. I understand this isn’t all clients, and I know this is especially common with the married clients. But: how am I to plan and be ready for something, that I’m not being given sufficient notice to expect to begin with? I texted my client from earlier: “If you trying to meet in a different city, it’s not going to work if everything is only on 1 person’s time demands. You’re not just dealing with 1 person.” Unless of course, a person wants to go f**k theirselves 😆

I’m talking in general: moreso the pics in my ad.

Well I know one thing: I’ve decided that because of this, I’m going back to limiting how much free “material” I’m putting out there. If someone hasn’t booked an appointment, then they really shouldn’t be seeing all of what I offer anyway. I don’t want for things to revert to what men4rent once did (disallowed any nude pics in ads), however: I’m seeing less merit in “barring it all” on my ads. RentMasseur already has it set up that way, and I seem to get more clients from it sometimes than RentMen. I even wrote an email to them sharing my opinion. I’ve said long time ago we should get some form of “credit” whenever clients look at our private pics. Their paying for a membership doesn’t necessarily put money in our pockets. And having nude pics out waiting around for people to book appointments, is too much of a stipulation. Sometimes, I feel we are moreso advertising to each other versus actual clients. Escorts are getting frustrated at potential clients because they are seeing the goods, without actually having to book an appointment, and that’s just not fair. That’s why I’m getting out of the rat race. People are booking appointments, and then cancelling on us for shit reasons that don’t have anything to do with us. Meanwhile, we get paid $0 for the content that we put out. That’s why I just don’t have time for the bullshit. The idea of getting less clients with deposits does get uncomfortable especially during slow times. But trying to win over dudes who aren’t committed to booking, is time consuming.

hmm, hmm… I just know from my personal experience having been to many cities in the US. Now San Francisco has often been a good place because it is a large market AND a large GB population as well. My experience is NOT small town, let’s back up and be clear on that. I’ve been to every major city in the country except for New York, and I actually did go there but I didn’t set up shop because I wasn’t really getting the hits I wanted. I’m not making shit up in my head. I’ve been to small cities and popped 4 clients in one day. I’ve been to big cities like Chicago and Atlanta, most times I’ve gone I only get 1 maybe 2 clients if I’m lucky within a 2-3 day period and that’s it. The only major cities I’ve found to have steady hits have been San Francisco and Washington DC, and occasionally Phoenix and Milwaukee for smaller markets. But L.A., Miami, etc. haven’t been good since maybe 2008 when things were less expensive and it wasn’t as saturated with guys. I’m not saying someone or myself can’t go to those cities and still make a decent amount or meet any clients, but it’s not like I’m ever like: “let me plan a trip to this big city, and make $10,000 “. Because I know 50 other guys are going with the same aspirations, and at any given time there may only be a handful clients actively booking. That’s where things get scientific. You have to think bigger than just population numbers, and think real time logistics.

Well, in fact I do: but after a recent experience last week, I feel I may step back from spending time on clients who aren’t booking. I reached out to one guy who seemed like he was going to book me, but never seemed to be able to take the step. Would say, “work is busy, maybe/hopefully sometime this week, blah blah blah”. I reach out to him a few weeks later, he finally is able to squeeze in a time, the same day I contacted him. But then, he gets in the hotel room, doesn’t know what he wants, then decides to end the session 10 minutes in. Make it worse: charges back the amount he paid me shortly after. And I actually ASKED HIM to pay me the rest of the amount with cash. In which he nearly cancelled the visit, saying he could only pay with card. So now, I’m going to consider those type of people red flags. I want to work with people, but it seems in this biz: hesitation breeds contempt. And I can’t be bothered with people like that, because their motives are sketchy. I hear this out 100%, and I’m seeing evident now that small towns with few/no escorts aren’t all opportunity as it seems. There’s one city I normally do great in, located in the Midwest: The past 2 visits have been dismal, and I’ve had other visits like that as well over the past year. I almost considered moving there, but glad I didn’t because it’s proven to only be a place to visit once or twice a year. Going regularly has started becoming less profitable. I’m definitely growing bored of smaller towns. However it’s hard to tell which bigger cities with lots of escorts can work out. Some places like Dallas and Atlanta have too many guys advertising than what the client pool can offer. I think most of the United States is too saturated with guys escorting in most all the larger cities. That’s why I have been gravitating to smaller towns, but the above situation is an example of someone from a smaller town: sometimes small town fucks like to try and scam providers out of money because they harbor racist or homophobic tendencies of their own. As far as it being YOU, as in ME: I can’t necessarily say one way or the other. Maybe it is me: I know I have burned bridges with a few clients in my area: But only if they were regularly inflexible, wouldn’t keep their word whenever they reached out, cancelled last minute/short notice, always wanted to book last minute/short notice, wouldn’t ever give me any advance notice even when asked, etc etc. That said, I’m definitely trying to find a bigger market regardless. I just can’t stay where I currently am working Kansas City and St. Louis. I’m literally relying on just 2 or 3 regulars. And even the surrounding areas I travel to haven’t been performing well lately. So I need a whole new regional change from this area.

Never said he did. What I AM saying was: IF the CLIENT is/was not sure of his plans of traveling then, he should not have been reaching out to providers to book an appointment. If you’re not booking an appointment, then why are you contacting? This is not like other businesses where you get to “call around” for the best deal. You’re dealing with something very intimate and specific. Once you make that text or call, you have booked the session by default. It’s like booking an Uber: you don’t go on the app and ping drivers for availability until you’ve paid the fee and are ready to go somewhere. Not “if” whatever billion other things you have going on, work out. There’s a verse out there: So don’t say yes I want to book, but then no I’m not booking an appointment. And this is not necessarily harping on the OP, but in general because I used to hear clients say ”but I didn’t book an appointment” all the time: Here’s the thing: most times it never gets that far. A provider can spend a whole minimum wage pay day worth of back and forth texting and not have any appointment time set up yet. That’s why I stopped doing all the small talk unless I know the client is ready to book a session.

Well, in reality you can’t really dictate what someone “should” do. Being a sex worker isn’t always a profession where people get a chance to be interviewed and “qualified” for by a recruiting agent. Guys have their reasons for needing to get into it, all the logistical street smarts don’t necessarily come right away. It take months and YEARS of experience. You can’t expect a sex worker to come into the game knowing everything and being perfectly business savvy. Maybe YOU need to not hire escorts, and deal with the sea of last minute possibilities, flakes and “inquiries” on hookup apps? You sound like a sweet guy, and even your screenname sounds hot 😉 but…as I said before: you weren’t necessarily an Angel yourself. You knew you had a flaky boss, you reached out to a bunch of guys haphazardly, and someone got annoyed. That’s not his fault. Like I said: next time wait until you’re at the airport. Or better yet, when your boss has booked your ticket or whatever. Don’t try to get ahead by making tentative plans. Look around, take notes of who you want to contact if you have to, but wait until things are more solidified before making inquiries.

I disagree too. But, it takes awhile to decide whether someone wants to have a steady stream of maybe 🤔 clients, or those who are a sure thing. Like I’ve said before: I used to operate on whoever shows, shows: but my life situation right now doesn’t allow that. With midgrade gas at $3.50+ and mediocre hotels asking $50/$100/$250 deposits (seen this last month in Denver), I can’t take chances like I used to.

That’s because you aren’t looking to get paid. You’re looking for the service. You may not gain the *ex from that particular provider, but the escort regardless of who cancels, loses *ex and money. so people need to stop using that analogy.

This is kind of one of those topics that, it seems both parties didn’t communicate or state intent well, which led to resentment. I’ve been there, which is why the deposit principle is also there to further solidify: is this an actual appointment request, or is it just an inquiry possibility. Inquiry possibilities always sounds good on paper, but it’s nothing to plan a day, travel or life. I got tired of that. I don’t think it has to be part of the business, I just think people have to present boundaries and options. This can be done even without a deposit. 1 example could be, “if you want to book me for your trip, I would need to know by Thursday at 6 p.m. (if your boss is still fidgeting around, then counter back a different timeframe, or find out the best you can) If I don’t hear anything by then, I’m not going to be available and/or I’ll make my own plans. That way, if the OP have not responded Thursday: he would have been instantly deprioritized. A ? Is the least possible initiating in world history. The escort should not have communicated like that, especially in an urgent response circumstance. If you have a question, just f-ing ask. Stop playing games. As I’ve said before: part of this is the RentMen platform not giving us opportunity to share enough info. But, it’s still up to us to do the communicating,

That was nice that you offered half the fee. Not sure how much that half was that isn’t “enough”, but it’s a reasonable gesture for the situation. Other than that, this is why I only travel/see clients with deposits nowadays. Unless I really have some other reason to be in that particular city. I won’t say it’s his fault for not making sure clients were more confirmed but, this can be an issue when touring places and trying to schedule people. Not to mention: it seems guys who pay for “time” are often very limited on time. I understand those who come to us often have full and busy lives but, the clients also have to make room and prioritize their escort meets. Often times, I’m working with clients who want to fit me in to different things they have going on, on short notice. Or if you’re not sure about your travel, and know it may fluctuate: don’t start reaching out yet until you’re at the airport. Also don’t contact multiple providers, contact one at a time. No need to spend hours back and forth. Have typed up what you want to do/spend and your location…ask the guy you want and book. It should only take 15 minutes, or 4-5 texts Max. If the one you want doesn’t respond, text again in about an hour to ensure message was received. Don’t contact a odd hours (some clients text me first thing in the morning, and I don’t really like to start my morning answering inquiries unless it’s for a client who’s booked from the night before). I know it seems reasonable to book in advance, but booking in advance works best when things are not in the hands of a third party (in this case, the boss who changed the plans).

I have a circumstance that will likely explain why a provider would ask for such a thing: This genius had the audacity to file a claim on part of a transaction he paid me. He then lied and claimed I kept asking for more money. When in reality, all I did was ask to be reimbursed $50 of the hotel that I paid for, for a session that lasted……Wait for it: 10 MINUTES. So I spent half the afternoon, moved a salon appointment, drove 30 miles and booked a hotel room for a session that lasted 10 minutes. Paying just my 1 hour rate doesn’t cut it. We didn’t even get into the foreplay and “real” stuff, because he was quote, “not mentally ready”. Going forward, I’m going to be making sure my clients also use the family and friends options as well. And this is also why: just can’t go out of my way for wishy washy clients anymore. Prospective clients who take forever to book, always seem busy and have an excuse: ARE TROUBLE. BIG, BIG TROUBLE. That’s why the other day: I had a guy send me a deposit PLUS agree to pay $350 when I arrived because he was 1.5 hour away. I decided not to go because at 3 a.m., how can I really trust this person is going to be and say what they’re going to do? Plus I instructed him to send a $75 deposit, he only sends $25. Not following directions, first red flag 🤦🏾‍♂️ And I’ve offered 2 nights to rebook him and it’s been the exact same as mentioned above: taking forever to book with no responses to set an appointment time.

If that happens, I try to slow things down. Some may get nervous if things get right into f**king, so maybe instead start with some massaging, a little wine, chat, background videos, etc. Sometimes just taking 10-15 minutes to pretend you’re meeting like regular interaction can help smooth things out.

I’ll mention something else: I try to be thorough and make sure it’s not anything I’m doing/missing that may be affecting my volume of clients, and to also occasionally view RentMen like a client. Not logged in. I just found out a couple things in the past week that I was unaware of: one, the link to websites in my IM signature when clicked shows a pop up of a warning from RentMen saying you’re leaving their site and warns of possible phishing. I wrote to them, and it’s just an automated message because somehow people were clicking fake sites and getting scammed. Also: I wasn’t aware that when I select “show number for verified members only” that when it’s clicked, it just says phone not available, instead of “please log in to view this number “. I was using that option because I got tired of the 1 or 2 word inquiries that give me nothing to work off if, scam sugar daddy texts, and just overall riff raff showing my number. But considering I have a separate ad phone, I decided to just go ahead and try again to leave it up. Even though: a person can read my ad and see the directions to my contact info, but for whatever reason some people can’t seem to find a way to reach me unless I have a number showing right in their face 🤦🏾‍♂️

Thanks, I do have a couple places in mind. I also applied for an incentive program that is open to pay and take in new residences. However, it seems a trade off in many areas in this country: The weather. Many of the nicer climate areas are more expensive and have lots of providers. The Deep South has longer summers, but it’s too much history. Northern areas tend to reach my ideal base, but the winters are so long. Just a month or so ago, everything was nice and green, and now it’s all brown and freezer burnt. I don’t mind snow but not into just dreary and land locked. So I’m considering New York State. Chicago has not been a huge money maker for me. It’s not necessarily worse in the sense of the word, but I feel after a few years in a city: unless you wind up in a steady relationship or have family/healthy friends, it’s hard to stay tied to an area. In my case, it’s family. I even seen this with a neighbor who used to live upstairs. He met a guy, they started dating, even became “boyfriends”. Then the neighbor’s boyfriend decided to take a job offer in Houston and moved. Well, the neighbor also moved. Not to be with him, but a different town in the next state over. I’ve had at least a couple of times where once I decided to finally leave a city, on the week of the move: I meet a great client or someone with possible relationship potential. Ironic. I’ll take the gurl with the hair part on the right, please and thankyou 😛 That said, I know you also like to crack jokes but: I am trying to get actual observations/experiences about this topic

I’ve first relocated to my current market in 2018, on and off traveling to other cities. There’s 2 cities which I ”base” myself between (Kansas City and St. Louis). Things were always “hit or miss” in both areas. Some weeks seemed pretty lucrative, but there were some extended lulls. Especially this time of year and during the summer it seemed. Lately it seems the lulls have gotten more frequent, and extended. Neither location is really bringing steady biz. I had 2 new bookings in KC last week that went well, but then I went to St. Louis for some personal affairs and got nothing in 3 days. Finally threw in the towel and left. On top of that, I had 2 “regulars” mess me about: one who started claiming my base price of $250 that we’ve done like 3-4 times already was too much for him (which I offered him a reasonable alternative). He didn’t book me while I was there, but tells me he can meet next week, but then this week rolls around and he can’t make it. Fortunately I had already left and changed my plans going back anyway. Another who I began a “friendship” with, became evasive, even though we kept in touch over texts and met a few times since August. He would share his plans, but when I would suggest something, he’d beat around the bush or be unavailable. Finally, I told him it’s best we part ways, and I’m moving on. Add salt to the situation, I have only 1 or 2 real friends in each area, who are clients I’ve got along with. Everyone else have just been fuck buddies/acquaintances but after a couple or so meets, they aren’t consistent. I have a counselor that I confide in, but he is a married, gay man of color which helps relate. However he seems to be more used to a traditional lifestyle, that I’m not able to take on. The environments aren’t ideal, so I don’t see a reason to immerse myself by picking up a job that obligates me to stay all the time. And most of the clients in the area don’t seem to have a genuine appreciation of the escorts. It’s like a 1 or 2 time, last minute when they’re horny type of deal. Most can’t keep their word. It’s always lots of inquiries but not enough following thru. At one point it was tolerable, but I feel like 4 years is too long to stay in some markets. Maybe if it were a San Francisco or New York traffic, but I’ve only lived in medium sized areas that “blew up” overnight. All that blowing up doesn’t always do much to improve gay social/biz life. It just raises rents and adds competition. Even though I travel twice a month, it’s not enough. Lately I haven’t been able to do trips longer than a week or 2 since the Spring. Anyone have their own time frame for how long they prefer to live in an area?

I think I read this the other day but then got sidetracked. Think I was on my way to meet a client at the casino 🎰 Anyhow, these are all valid points and very sensible at that. However it’s also things that just have to be discussed during the booking process. This is why I start off the bat with questions: Name/Age: City You’re In: Website Seen On: Host or Travel: and sometimes I’ll even say: “are you top or bottom?” Get everything out the way quickly so no time is wasted, but do so with tact and flexibility without assumptions. It’s not just, “hey are you available now, I want to come to you?” Available for what now, and for whom? And when and where is now?

It wasn’t that your humor isn’t appreciated, it’s just I don’t feel it was the right thing to say in reference to the quote. I know you’re quite sensible and we’ve talked 1 on 1 about things, so I know your intentions aren’t bad. But there’s a time and place to crack jokes, and this wasn’t one of them.

I’m glad you think invalidating a personal observation is a backdrop to make a flirty joke out of: Invalidation sends the message that a person’s subjective emotional experience is inaccurate, insignificant, and/or unacceptable. https://drjamielong.com/validation-5-things-not-to-say/

Likewise, experienced as well. That said, I’m not opposed to payment after the session. However when you say never but then mention “only having a problem 2 or 3 times”: I think a little clarity is needed. Surely you’ve had clients walk in and pay upfront without waiting until after the session? So…though it’s not a mandatory requirement, it’s still a preference. Having a problem 2 or 3 times in 25 years may seem small, but what level was the problem? 2 or 3 times could be a dozen times for someone who travels often, and is a bit lenient on screening and deposits.

Not to jump in, but I got my 2nd MP vax the other day… The only sucky part is that because I get the tricep one, and I sleep on my side. The pain and swelling for me lasted a week or 2 the first time. This time doesn’t seem as bad…but I remember it seemed to get worse day by day. But it literally just feels like I worked out my arms. I used to never get vaccines but now I’m just like, whatever. I pop a ton of vitamins and supplements so any symptoms I get done last long. I take my Tylenol and Advil and Benadryl/hydrocortisone. Fluids. It’s crazy out there. Wish there was a syphilis vaccine, but… https://historyofvaccines.org/blog/the-historical-impact-of-the-tuskegee-syphilis-study-on-modern-vaccination-efforts

That’s understandable, but your preference shouldn’t define another’s truth. I’ve been in it for about half as long, but probably have just as much experiences. I’ve told a handful of situations here alone: The most recent where the guy has a wad of money equaling $27 when I was trying to settle upfront. In which he said he’d brb and never did. Which story would you prefer to hear? There was also a former forum member years ago, who said he’d just done an overnight and when he got to the airport to go home, he opened the envelope to a bunch of single…dollar bills. Anything could happen. It doesn’t have to be a lot, only once. You may get lucky and not have to deal with that issue. I know I’ve done both with varying results. But I prefer to go with the one I feel most comfortable with. Granted: I will say, the PayPal situation in the above post does sound a bit suspect. At the very least, forward. But, from experience I understand some like to push chargebacks, and you have to fight like hell to get it back. Even when it isn’t chargebacks, PayPal randomly freezes up transactions for no known reason.

That’s not out of the question however, hookup apps are more often and likely to be where issues come up. Fake providers post on there as well…