TallMuscl37

Well, hate to break it but: this section was once ask an escort, now it’s ask Questions about hiring. Not dissing the update but, it didn’t exactly “further inclusion” by providers. So… But other thing, I have found a new community where sex work is discussed more by providers. Albeit it’s mostly women, and tend to operate on a different pricing: they seem much more open to initiating discussions and topics, even among clients who actively read and post. I just feel many of the MSM pay community like to play the safe route: presenting a facade and avoiding transparency. Understandable if you’re protecting your bottom line, but not great for the better good of those in the industry. Also, the current sites don’t seem to be directing providers to the platform as much as prior sites. Remember, Rentboy used to direct us to daddy’s reviews. Now RentMen/masseur has become its own review platform. It’s not as necessary to win over people here for reviews. IMO, for an escort to want to post here, they have to really want to engage and be a part. Since the forum seems mostly client oriented, I can see how some wouldn’t want to step into the lion’s den…

And since posting this, gas went up like 30-40 cents in my area overnight 🤦🏾‍♂️ Gas prices just saw their biggest one-day increase in a year | CNN Business AMP.CNN.COM Gas prices are going up. The national average price for regular gasoline surged by 4 cents a... That said, going forward I won’t be expending any extra energy on stingy men, no matter how bored or horny I am. And if they want to get an attitude and play ghosting games just because I ask them to do their part, then fuck ‘em. Actually, won’t fuck ‘em. They want me to go out of my way, while they do the bare minimum. I’m not for it:

All the guys who claim to not/never pay for sex, do exactly that but don’t realize it. The drinks, the dinners, the driving across town, the apartment they rent so they can host, the time they spend trying to package themselves for consumption on Instagram: is not free. Going to the club spending $100, not free. But I realize I am having a moment because, the part of the country I’m in the amount of “I don’t pay for it” mentality is exorbitant. It almost seems to be a fad out in this area. Being cheap and finding it for free as much as possible, is cool. Fuck this place, giving it one more month to work out: if not I’m out of here for good 😤

Yeah, I feel part of the change has to start with “us” (gays). As long as people give it and throw it away for nothing, that’s going to be the norm. And especially for non-White gays. I won’t go down a race card route but, that’s the other reality: Wealthy gays will let a White guy use and abuse them for thousands of dollars, yet the moment a non-White (e.g. Black) guy gets $250 and doesn’t put out, we’re every name under the sun, plus a scammer. It’s not right. When it comes to gas money, people like to make it sound trivial like…it’s something one should be able to afford. If not, they look at you like you’re a broke bitch. But, many gays seem to be oblivious to the fact that $3+ gas for this amount of time does have an effect. I’m basically paying what California prices were for gas, back in 2018. For example, there’s one card that I use for gas purchases. And it’s likely more than that because I don’t even use it every time. It’s likely in the $500 range. And one guy I was briefly dating had the nerve to question my earnings, when I told him I didn’t have the gas money to go 90 miles out of my way, to see him. Because generally, I need to reserve that for clients. I told him the next day, how dare you. So out of line, to even question me, when I’m the one spending money to go out of my way and meet. And he was too cheap to ever offer gas, but on our (last and final) date, had the nerve to discuss with someone else, how the military is paying him $24,000 to relocate Overseas for a couple years. Why even bring that up, when I just had a discussion previously that I’m hard up for funds as it is? It’s stuff like that…shows blatant disregard for the ones they want to be intimate with. I’m just breaking that down once and for all, for all the ones who look down on others who ask for gas money. Because it’s really not even about that. The main topic is much bigger than that.

…Why do many gays treat their prospective hookups, like the s*x isn’t worth a dollar? Now, I’m not judging the fact people hookup for free. Or saying everybody should pay for any type of connection. But one thing that gets me, is how: one can say to another gay that they’re for pay, and they get an attitude or turn it down, or always have to make some sly remark. Case in point: I thought I had another but, I blocked him so: message is gone. But it was something like: “I don’t pay for what I can get for free”. I responded, umm..get who for free? Not me…maybe someone else though. I am so over the aire of entitlement that many gays have. As if they SHOULD get free access from anybody they approach. The other day, I went with a friend of mine to the Tiffany store, and he dropped $1,500 on accessories. No shade to that, it’s his money free to do how he pleases. But I know for a fact this guy also doesn’t pay most of his hookups, which are always met off hookup apps. Sure he may do drinks and dinners, which is cool. But I know there’s guys out there that operate the same way: they’ll spend hundreds and thousands on material things, and drive a Mercedes/BMW. Yet won’t even offer $20 for gas, to someone who’s coming from 100 miles away to visit them. (true story). As much as I enjoy the good clients in the biz, it’s a lot of “emotional labor” (gotta love that term) dealing with weekly instances of gaslighting behavior from potential and even return clients. Gaslighting to make me feel I don’t know how much to charge, and am delusional. Meanwhile, during the Taylor Swift concert in Kansas City, people (some gay) were paying $1,000+ just for a seat. The hotels were higher than my rate. Yet, I have to be expected to bend over backwards and forwards, just to be gaslit that $400 is too much. $300 is too much. $200 is too much. Hell, for some of these guys, they act as if $25 for gas is going to send them to the poorhouse. Meanwhile they’re bragging on this and that, and how good their job is 🤦🏾‍♂️ Then there’s these guys out here who have plenty of money, and a partner/husband (aka dual income), yet still expect to get free cake and eat it too. I have friends like that, and I think to myself, these people are counterproductive to everything I stand for. Why even be in their presence, if they believe sex is only worth a drink and a burger…but will spend $1,000s on high end accessories and meaningless home upgrades. But I’m crazy for asking $300?? 🤷🏾‍♂️ I think if I were to leave the biz, I wouldn’t even be compelled to replace hookups with the action I get from biz. Being I see and have experienced so much devaluing of gay sex, I would only do it sparingly and with someone I know is serious about having a genuine, consistent connection.

As someone who has done all of those drives you’ve mentioned: I tend to more likely incorporate locations within a tour/travel plans versus limiting it to just 1 appointment. I’ll often have an anchor city (somewhat similar to anchor client but: moreso a city with a purpose for visiting) that is my main destination, and then just include locations along the way. Like when I travel to the west coast from the Midwest, I usually have several anchor cities that may be 2-4-6 hours apart. So I try to work it all in. In that case, it wouldn’t necessarily be out of my way, though it would still involve travel. Which will typically requires a deposit as well. As for how far I’d go to meet a client on a non-tour drive, I will do that up to 3.5 hours away. I feel 3.5 hours is just within the amount of time to be able to go there and back, and spend the night. And even if I only have 1 client, it could be worth it. But there’s usually the opportunity to see more. For example, being in Kansas City I’ll occasionally go to Tulsa, Arkansas, Des Moines (though I haven’t been to Omaha in awhile) Last year I tried to do 2 trips, but clients kept dicking around with booking, and it seems to be a common scenario in that area 🤦🏾‍♂️ However, all of those require the caveat of needing to be booked AHEAD. Not a week in advance, but at-least the day or 2 prior. But most people reaching out don’t think that far ahead for some reason. I usually won’t drive 3.5 hours away for a same day appointment when I’m home. Usually when I’m already on tour, I can get on the road quickly. It’s not always guaranteed if I don’t have enough notice to arrive. For a typical same day ride/come home or back to the hotel same day for 1 client: I will usually max it to 90 minutes away. Here’s also an example below of driving time between 2 cities you mentioned: but notice how it’s not rush hour in SF yet. That could easily add 30-60 minutes: In my case, if I were visiting San Francisco, I wouldn’t leave there to visit someone in Reno for a 2 hour session. I would try to incorporate it along the way to my next destination. If I were living in SF, Reno would be close enough to my 3.5 hour limit preference. But I’d work it in if booked ahead, and with deposit+tip.

Can we step away from what the technical requirement/definition of a strike has to be? We may not “work” for them, but we still pay monthly memberships to them. I also didn’t advocate for a boycott, but moreso a plan of change. Just because I want something to be better or different doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be a rebellion. I just sent them a message basically going over the same things I mentioned here. Hopefully they’re open to consider the suggestions.

Well one thing for sure, a full time change of market for me is definitely. I can’t move overseas. I have too much to move, and moving overseas would be starting from scratch. Plus visa and all the stuff involved with immigration. I had discussed this with someone via DMs the other day. There’s other cities here in the USA I know I’ll be more appreciated in, versus sitting around dealing with cheap, emotionally laborious men. I just spent over an hour in discussion with a client friend across the country about it. Living in a counterproductive city threatens the ability to even stay in business. Granted a strike wouldn’t seem reasonable to those who may be in areas with a good supply of clients, and few advertisers competing for those same ones. But I feel I’m in an area where not only is there a handful of local and traveling advertisers, but it’s not enough clients to work with. And because of that, it would help having some extra resources. Resources that need to be implemented into the RM platforms to save us time, money, and frustration. And I’m just telling myself, if I have to pick up and leave by any means necessarily..I am ready. I just had to do another loan just to pay for some urgent expenses, because it’s been that bad since I came home from tour earlier this month. I shouldn’t have to do that. But I have to do that because that’s what the reality is here. In Kansas City, all I see is dudes hooking up for free left and right and everybody on the apps. If you do it that way, you’re guaranteed to get laid most the time. On top of that, you have to be in and around the main gay district, which I don’t reside in…And lots of hanging around doing spur of the moment quickies, which is not my style. Most of the “pay” inquiries come off rude, unreliable, half the time just string along or play games. And the timewasters here go out their way to waste my time every few months, until they are blocked. I almost fault myself for not blocking them when they show their colors on the initial messages, such as not responding or giving negative replies when asked for basic details like a name and deposit. But the moment I drop my guard and attempt to meet them: they won’t come thru. Well, who’s to say someone can’t do their individual strike in a way that suits them? I’ve already started doing that. There are times that I remove my number and disable email on my ads, and see who’s attentive enough to read the ad and go to my website. And of course you have the ones who take breaks and leave the industry quietly without explanation or warning as well. I wouldn’t concern about lost business being given away. Because it’s no guarantee there’s going to be some big surplus of clients within a 1 week time frame. which is the longest time I’d go for a hypothetical RM strike. That would still allows 3 weeks of paid time. There’s also the option of freezing ads, but that wouldn’t give the chance to be visible in the process. Though if one has a website or Twitter page, that can be the announcement platform.

The issue is: people need to be prepared to do both if they want to meet someone for sex. Stop relying on 1 person (namely, the escort) to do it all. Be ready to travel AND be ready to host. There’s $60 hotels in most any city. Not many, and hardly non in some areas but: Some accept cash. I highly doubt it’s going to send a client to the poorhouse, to get a hotel. I know that sounds ironic, considering the topic: but it’s true. For most of my escort time: Including when I first started, I have ALWAYS offered to host AND travel. I always kept a vehicle for Outcalls and always booked a hotel or had an apartment. I have accommodated above and beyond. However, I am not Superman who has endless money to spend…especially these days. Hotels are higher, rents are just ridiculous. I am also finding some cities/ states are harder to get approved with escort money than others. In St. Louis for example, (likely due to predjudice towards renters based on the demographics) I have hardly been able to find anywhere that’ll rent without a laundry list of requirements. So, I rent a room from a “partner in biz”. However, it’s not always available to me and I have to coordinate schedules with him. Problem is, even when I’ve had the place to myself and ready to host, people would still lie and ghost, play games and BS. So it’s hampered the thought of wanting to book into a full time place. So for clients: be flexible. If you can’t host, offer to get the hotel if the escort can’t host either. I’ve had plenty of clients do this, and even clients who were hosting: I had them come to me if for whatever reason, I needed the hotel anyway and it was easier. Example: In Nashville earlier this month, the client was hosting. However, he was hosting at a big hotel, and I was staying at a friend’s. Both my friend and client had early mornings (client was nice enough to offer me his place, but): which would have involved me having to be up and out by 8 a.m. That’s inconvenient, and I learned my lesson letting someone else I was dating do that to me: and I broke up with him that same morning. So I suggested to the client that I would rather get a room and have him come over. So yeah, it sounds like it’s not an issue and it should be simple but no: it’s a real issue. Who hosts and who travels. The solution is: every man who wants to have 1 on 1 time needs to be willing to do BOTH. If I can go book a hotel for a client, a client can book a hotel for an escort…if the escort doesn’t have the means to do so. Unless you’re willing to send a deposit.

Not necessarily. Hosting could mean spending more money. That would only apply if the escort straight up said: “I can’t host”. In my home city, I do host….by appointment only and when clients confirm. So I still get to see those clients. However, the ones who can’t plan more than 15 minutes in the future, never see me because I’m not just hanging outside of my door at the bathhouse, waiting for them to come over when I never expected them to come over to begin with 🤷🏾‍♂️

With everyone in Hollywood doing their walk outs, I wonder how that would look for us? I personally feel it’s time. I have emailed to RentMen and RentMasseur, and Adam4Adam (I know, not the greatest for trying to find clients…But there’s still some gems on occasion) my suggestions, but nothing ever seems to get done. I feel we as advertisers need to stop accepting whatever is defaulted and stand up. This isn’t directly an assault towards RM, but they are controlling the ship…and the ship has hit an 🏔️ 🚢 and is filling with water. What would a strike benefit? Here’s some changes I would #1: allow paying escorts to access a private portal of reported clients that we can report (this doesn’t have to compromise client confidentiality). The current “app” for doing this, I find isn’t know by providers in smaller markets. Plus they charge a fee, so some people probably don’t use it as much. It’s also kinda glitchy and vague. We need something like what men4rent offered, before the RB raid scared them into shutting down. I have seen a website offer this option, as explained here. #2: rates need to be reinstated, plainly. Not hidden somewhere. it’s no reason I need to be arguing and fussing and low balling with clients who don’t know my rates before contacting. It should show when the click our number. It also doesn’t need to be in reference to sex, simply: the cost to host you, the cost to travel to you. Period. Nothing else implied . #3: No more free private gallery/videos. They need to pay for extra content #4: Cut the “available now” to “available today. Nobody is ever available now unless you’re at a bath house or nudist beach. Unless: a person is indoors for 2 days straight, not stepping out at all and can maintain that consistently: it’s most likely not possible. But I go ahead and put “available now” anyway because I am “available today”. #5: Educate clients with a simple pop up, showing them a brief tutorial how to book. They should be informed; an escort may ask for your name. Your age, location. Basic details about yourself. Don’t make them have to fish it from you. Too many buffoons hit me up not wanting to share anything about themselves, thinking I’m just going to go to them or open my door to a complete ghost with no info. #6: anything else someone can add…should be promoted. What would a strike look like? Taking down our numbers, disabling email contact. Let them stare and be unable to book until change is made. Let them know: I am temporarily unavailable while we come up with a better way for providers and clients to establish boundaries on the rentmen platform 🪧 I know it’s not as simple as that but, even just acknowledging these things and discussing it with RM could make a difference.

Definitely facts. That’s exactly why I’ve come to plan things around confirmed bookings. I did the book 2-3 days in a hotel thing before having anyone confirmed, more times than I can count: I’d be a fool to keep doing that. Nowadays I only book ONE NIGHT (maybe 2 max if I traveled far, and not feeling moving the next day) at a time when traveling. It’s day by day. If a client doesn’t hit me up by noon next day, preferably a couple hours before that: I’m checking out or going elsewhere. I have no guarantee paying for an extra night is going to earn me anything, without a deposit…. Or at the least, a steady flow of clients. I usually find: 2 to 3 days is ample time to see everybody who’s available in a given period of time in a city (though in San Diego earlier this year, I went an entire week before my first client and then another week for my 2nd client 🫤 luckily I had friend’s spare room. All the stragglers who reach out at 11:30, 12, 12:30: Knowing that’s usually an hour that visitors maybe checking out of hotels, will have to send a deposit immediately for another night, or be ready to show up asap. Had that in Dallas couple months ago. I had the hotel ALL DAY MONDAY Memorial Day. What does he do? Contact me at 11:30 a.m. Tuesday as I’m walking out, asking to come over. I told him: book a room if you can’t host. I’m checking out. I also don’t rely on who all may be available to plan my trip either. Long as I have 1 confirmed client for a decent number, all else will come together. That’s why I ask $300-$400 majority of times I host. So if I only have 1, at least I have made back the hotel and money earned.

Thanks for having my back, but I’ve already expected anytime I have a discussion: somebody is going to say something that has nothing to contribute to the topic. They simply file as complaints. But, it’s always nice when someone busts their bubble…and reality sets in:

I find it’s very dependent on location at times. For example in San Diego, I was only doing outcalls mainly, but would host if someone booked and sent a deposit. I had a place to stay already that I was able to to do Outcalls from. I wasn’t about to spend $100-$200 on a room to sit around and gamble that a client would show up. I did luck out one night, where I was needing a room for personal reasons, and a guy just happened to text me moments of me arriving to the hotel. In that case, I said come on thru. I’m ready in 45 minutes. However, all my other bookings ended up being outcalls anyway. The couple nights I booked a hotel in San Diego, either nobody contacted or I didn’t have anyone confirmed. I also booked a room for at least 3 nights in Temecula area, only one client showed up and I ended up having to send him home because he claimed to forgot the funds. Luckily I have hotel points to front in between, for situations like that. Also had other reasons for being there. So yeah, to anyone who doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t just be hanging out in a hotel all day everyday when in a city: that’s your answer right there. All of that up above. I don’t have to necessarily post Play by Play, Day by day details on whether I’m hosting that day or not. That’s the whole point of the deposit and booking stuff in advance. Because you’re not going to know what someone’s situation is day by day regardless of what they post in the ad. People just have to stop thinking that escorts are hotels themselves. No, I’m not a hotel with 60 rooms. Think of me as renting a 1 bedroom air bnb 😂

The whole point was: based on the message I referenced, he had stated: “I thought you were in a hotel all this time”. Thought. Not, “I said”. But rather.: “Thought”. Let that sink in for a minute…and you’ll understand. Who told this person that? That goes beyond the issue of who can and can’t host…that’s simply making an assumption based on, what? Just because an escort is visiting a city isn’t a guarantee that the person is in a hotel hosting. For example, earlier this year: I drove from San Diego to Arizona via the I-10. I had LA, Palm Springs, and Phoenix as cities to pass by. Non of those places did I host or have a hotel set up. Why would I? There was nobody booked in advance, and Arizona was my destination. If somebody texted and assumed I was in a hotel: I would be like, who told you that? Now if a client was hosting, I would have likely been willing to go to their location instead. My website/profile never says that I am here waiting at a hotel for you right now. It says a deposit is needed to book an in-call session. Period. That is likely to allude either it’s by appointment only, or it’s not necessarily readily available unless confirmed. Like I said, the person mentioned didn’t want to pay deposit to begin with. He was hoping to get on my standby list, which is basically: I see someone if I’m already hosting that day. But that’s if I even have client scheduled that day to begin with. Meanwhile, there was no point in me spending money on a room without anyone on schedule for that day. So I made alternative arrangements.

I used to have certain clients I’d be able to schedule weeks or months ahead. However, it seems uncommon lately and I generally don’t prefer to because I may not be in the same area. However, for a longer session I wouldn’t mind. Months in advance gives better opportunity to plan and arrange schedule accordingly

I appreciate the suggestions but one thing you should know is: Many contacts do not read my profile, let alone my website before contacting. I usually have to refer them to it, and not in a rude way but: just making sure they have seen more than just pictures and a number. Also, it explains everything laid out, which is better than explaining it myself. I’ve also had in my ad for awhile, that deposits and advance notice is needed for incalls. That said: I have updated some wording on my site and ad regarding incalls. I’ve made it clear that same day hosting may not be available. Whether I do or don’t, deposit will be requested. I also find most reasonable clients know, that it’s better to try to arrange something ahead versus same day. If trying to arrange an incall, it’s just basic courtesy. I have even told people sometimes, would you be ready if I texted you unexpectedly for me to come over? 100% of the time it would be no. So, try to understand it may be the same for a provider. “Available now” does not guarantee or promise hosting. Think of hookup apps, or even bars and clubs. Lots of available people, but no guarantee that available person is going to be able to bring you home/go to your place. That’s just life. There’s no need to gaslight sex workers into believing they SHOULD be able to do whatever suits the client at the moment: A decent guy would find a compromise and make it work. Like the saying goes: “get a room” 😂 I’m sorry that all escorts aren’t able to cater to every need and every demand at any hour of the day and week. That’s stereotype. Sorry to disappoint some, that we may be similar to regular people, who need regular notice, and regular planning to meet. Of course, same day hosting bookings are great when they can work. I took one the other night, since I was already hosting a booking made in advance, from earlier in the day. But that’s not a default offering that I can do often.

As someone mentioned, it’s good to mention this. Even if it’s just paid for time, you could mention in your “private life” you enjoy etc etc in your etc etc. Requests for “massage” are at an all time high. I think 90% of my bookings ask for that, but I been doing this long enough to know it’s best to have more than 1 rate for the sessions I do. I’ve even written to RM themselves and mentioned we need more options for rates. But of course they are limited in what they can safely offer. This is why I’ve come out with my own website. And it’s meant to be somewhat obscure. Can’t speak on their behalf but yes: I’m finding especially in the big cities, business has been periodically quite dry. I even noticed in my current area of Kansas City, many guys don’t have Gold Ads since I’ve come back from off tour. I think it’s just too many guys advertising these days, and not enough reliable sites. You can’t have dozens of guys in a city where many of the gay culture is on hookup apps and the price of apartments are more than a home mortgage. It’s like sitting around waiting for someone to book, and to book at the rate you want, in the limited span of time they have to meet. It’s a lot. I’m grateful I can still get by doing this exclusively because I enjoy the bookings and the freedom, but…I can only do it because I’m switching cities every couple weeks. I’m basically like a trucker/flight attendant on the go. However, it’s come at the cost of giving up a full time incall location, something that…I’m now wanting to return back to. But have to know it’s going to be a reliable market.

Well I beg to differ on the “be able to host at any moment”. That’s just not realistic. And clients have to understand, when you’re dealing with providers online, it’s likely not realistic in every scenario. Think of it this way: it’s not so much a problem that I am not willing to host. But, it’s just common courtesy to ask. Find out what is going on in that person’s situation. And I know clients aren’t dumb. Many seem to play dumb for reasons I can’t fathom. If I were to flip the tables, which I always end up doing: 99.9% of clients would never, ever, hardly ever ever ever…ever ever ever…ever ever ever… …Be able to host on a moments notice. Even when I sent out my “hey I’m in town/available” message to clients who CAN host, Most always have reason about family, dog, work, neighbor, alien visit, etc etc and are never ready to host. They say: “next time give me a little more notice.” So do we not deserve the same consideration? Yes. I know that goes against stereotypes and expectations. But like someone said: it’s not always to be assumed 24/7 written in stone that hosting is going to be readily available at all times, just because my ad is up. that’s true but, there’s a difference between paid client wanting fulfillment, and selfish inconsiderate clients who want to barge into someone’s private location at the last minute. Not saying this guy did that, but many do. And my blocked client list is chock FULL of numbers who had no decency or respect to book a session, instead of texting, “U avail now, to host?” Then they either don’t show up, or flake, or some other crap which is the reason I don’t like to gamble on hosting in the first place. That’s a good start. In fact, just yesterday I had a client who booked a 4 star hotel for us, even let me arrive early to freshen up and workout while he handled his affairs of the day. It was…everything done right for once this month 😂 originally I was going to host him, but he settled on hotel instead…It was very convenient because whenever I get a hotel to host in my home town, I stay there myself for the night. Which often means foregoing any plans at home I may need to catch up on. In this case, I was able to take care of errands in downtown and do outcall to his hotel, then head home at night. And the next day, got to work on projects. I’m not going to elaborate on my situation and why hosting isn’t necessarily always available 24/7, 365 days a year, like a red light district. But as I said above: it’s more to it. It’s not about NOT having funds to have a place. It’s moreso: I’m not going to be spending money recklessly if I’m in a different area, if I can instead save until I have a serious inquiry. Or at the very least: even if I’m not booking a room for 1 client, the industry has a way of going good or going slow all at once. If I’m having more than 1 or 2 clients booking steadily, I know I’m in a good flow. But if it’s just dead, and I booked a room the past couple days and nobody hasn’t even reached out to me by noon on day 3: I’m not going to keep throwing more money away on a hotel. I’m going to reach out to friends and see if I can be a guest. Those guys who be waiting around for clients and hosting, be scamming them half the time. I know for a fact because I hear it from my new clients all the time. And I seen these guys personally do it. They go to the “available now” guy who’s hosting, right now, and get ripped off. Because they couldn’t tell a Dick from their ass, metaphorically speaking lol. And when I was in San Francisco last year: I hosted the entire Thursday thru Tuesday I stayed there. But I only had clients come to my hotel ONE DAY: that was Sunday. But Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday were either outcalls or nobody showed up serious. In fact Saturday night, I was out with friends and slept in Berkeley, and had to call my hotel to charge my card because I wasn’t going to be back before checkout time 😂 Funny now but, looking back that was a waste of money. I should only have to spend on hotels as needed…granted: I don’t like to stay with people or feel obligated to stay with friends. I honestly hate that. I like my privacy, cleanliness and independence AND…The ability to see clients. The only reason I wasn’t able to in the original post: it was Nashville: it’s overpriced for hotels and business there is trash 🚮. The scene has become flooded with sex workers in the past years and it’s no longer a market to expect steady business flow. Exactly, communication is key. Not: assumption is key ☝ That does not apply to every day, week or city. And: just to be clear, I DID offer to meet this client on an incall BUT… #1: He didn’t want to send deposit #2: He wanted to be on my standby list, which is basically IF another client books me and I’m already hosting #3: When I tried to offer to meet him, I did inform him the motel wouldn’t be upscale because the prices and availability in the area, he got an attitude and said he “wasn’t comfortable”. That’s when I said…well you’re welcome to get a room, if that’s the case. I didn’t post that text… And then when I informed id be able to host in a better area because the availability of rooms changed a couple days later, he was busy/didn’t reply back. So…I’m just like fuck the bullshit games. Nobody, especially me, has time for that. Bingo!

But if I had a friend who’s like: you can stay at my apartment, but just don’t have company, do outcalls: my choice would be that over getting a room unless I had assurance with a deposit, that I’d be getting some clients. Now sometimes: I don’t have a choice and I have spent a fortune on hotels if I’m traveling between cities and don’t know anyone. For example last year, I did a big loop from Denver (where I had a friend’s place to stay) to Seattle, down to Portland and San Francisco and then back to Denver. That entire time was hotels and air bnb. Fortunately I was getting the bookings I needed to eat the costs most of the trip, however on my final week: I had about 5 nights of hotel costs where I didn’t have any bookings. I think it was around tax season: but it was unreal and was a big loss. Stuff like that is the reason why I may not always be just hanging out in a hotel, if I can avoid it.

Speculatively…if that actually happened it would be great. But in the case of the city I was, that was not happening. Considering I didn’t have any deposits or confirmed serious bookings received, getting a hotel waiting for potential clients would have been a waiting game at my expense. I wasn’t trying to do that. If and when I had an incall client, was when I’d arrange a room for the day/night. I have done tours where I didn’t have to pay for a hotel majority of the time, either because all the clients hosted or I had friends in the area who I could stay with, and only do Outcalls. I know it sounds petty but, the host/can’t host issue can be a challenge. Sometimes I’ll get invited on trips by friends but someone will say, “you can’t host in the air bnb but you can do outcalls”. I tell them: that’s not going to work because majority of clients are going to need me to host. My whole thing: yes I know typically escorts are going to be in hotels hosting. But, people assume things that were never stated. When I went to New Orleans couple months ago, I didn’t get a hotel until the day I had a client. Before that, I was at friend’s air bnb. If someone reached out and asked if I could host prior to the confirmed client I had, I would have had to say no. But even with the client mentioned: I offered to host him 2 additional days, and he couldn’t follow thru. Almost seemed like he got an attitude just because I couldn’t readily host. That’s why I said: if he wants to pay for a room, by all means. But if it’s on my dime, it’s going to be the place I want to stay when it’s available. I’ve played the “stay in a hotel and be available” game more than enough times. I did that in Houston not long ago, was a complete waste. 2 days of hotel and nobody showed up. Luckily I paid with points but, that could have been used elsewhere. Some people just need to be educated and stop living in a false reality stereotype of Rent guys and what they “THINK” we are doing. No bro, you don’t know nothing about me. Why the f**k would I spend $100-$200 a night on a room, waiting around for nobody, when I had a nice townhouse apartment of a friend to stay at? And just like the client has reasons he may can’t host, I may have reasons I may can’t host in that particular moment.

I’m just wondering because I’ve had a handful of clients recently (despite the ones who have done my listed rates) assume this. I’m just like where is it written that our rates are capped at $200 because I’m missing out on something 😂 I went ahead and clarified on all my ads that I have 3 levels of services with 3 different rates. Not every client wants the same thing. It would be unfair to them to charge $400 and unfair to me to charge $200 for everything. Unless this is just becoming a standard 🤔

I can’t speak for anyone else, but all my new clients I ask to send deposits. People can say no all they want, but like I said in another thread: many clients either want us to host or even if we go to them: I have outlined on my site the deposit is to cover the time/expense to set up accommodations or travel for an outcall. Non of that is without upfront cost for me. I’m glad more providers are asking for deposits. I hope everyone starts asking for one. Uber drivers don’t go anywhere with a payment. Amazon don’t send out products without payment. Verizon doesn’t mail out phones without payment. Movie theaters collect their payment before you get to see it. Why should we shoulder the burden of booking hotel rooms and driving across town with no guarantee? And for every client that has been “scammed”, I can multiple 20-30X that amount that it’s happened to me. That would be foolish to NOT take a deposit. Granted: I have different options for deposits from $25 up to $100.

Where does this notion come from? I had to explain to someone yesterday after he got all flustered that if I hosted, he would need to meet me out front of the hotel before I book it, if he’s going to want to meet without a deposit AND at my base rate: It’s like no…and I was using a hypothetical worst case scenario statement if I were to book a hotel that’s at least half decent for hosting this one client. Another scenario last week was the same where I was posting in a nearby town about a hour away, that I could offer appointments to. Client reaches out to me, calls me, leaves voicemail, texting he wants to meet: but then upon further discussion, even though he’s apparently hosting, he doesn’t want to because his “dog doesn’t like strangers”. It’s like, what the hell? So I would be driving that distance but I must also get a room to host? And on same day notice without a deposit at that (because some people love to tell me they’ve never had to pay one before…which I find is pointless to bring up because: if there’s only 1 or 2 ads in a small town, of course they wouldn’t. Those 1 or 2 you might of reached out to, don’t speak for every escort in the country) It’s not like I am hosting by default at all times. I also don’t want to imply I can’t host by saying no incalls or that I don’t host. But even if I say “hosting not always available” there’s always people who don’t read the ads and assume I am when I’m not.

I don’t disagree with you at all, and I’m glad you’re able to see both sides and relate. In the case of that particular person, I admit: I started off wrong from the get go by not following my own rules. A typical text goes something like this (and I don’t mind sharing game because the more people who adopt it, I think it will normalize conversations beyond “hi” and “yes I’m available ” and “rate?” and “400” which ultimately leads to: “that’s too much“.) How can they or I know what is too much, when nothing has been assessed? You want my rate for? An hour, 2 hours, overnight? Why not start the conversation by giving me something to work with: “Hi and welcome, I’m Jarrod. For your 1st contact, can you include some more details: Name/Age: City You’re In: Yours or My Place: Website Seen On: Also please confirm you have visited my site rates and details: www.xxx.com/appointments” Now I don’t normally go the route I did, but he came at me sideways and that created the fallout. All I asked is whether he read the ad. To get an attitude and make it seem like referring him to a menu is hard work, was uncalled for. A couple days after that message (this was like last month but I saved it to send to RentMen and tell them why it’s still a problem that they aren’t allowing us to put any sort of rate structure up, even if it’s something innocuous like “porn star travel fee”.), I had an epiphany: anybody who sits around and argues or demeans an escort online just because they don’t get it “their way”, is sad. And I feel bad for them that they have to do that to make themselves feel good. It’s not worth the time or energy. And I had like 2 clients do that around that time. Telling me I’m making it “too hard” to book. Meanwhile, clients all around are doing it with no trouble. So what’s the issue? It takes 5 minutes to answer a couple questions and send a deposit, 15 minutes if need to look at reviews and website. So yeah, I just had a moment in that instance and popped off. I shouldn’t have even responded considering it annoyed me from the get go. However, I found from an old number that I met with this person before, and I was holding his hand back then and he came at me. Sideways. So it’s like, some people don’t ever change… As much as I understand valuing clients: some people don’t need to be allowed additional chances to be an asshole. I’ve had this issue with clients in my area, regulars who give good money, but then show their asses every other time it’s time to book an appointment. It’s too much emotional labor dealing with them. Booking appointment doesn’t need to be a power struggle. You’re walking into someone’s (hypothetical) office, and trying to boss them around is not going to earn points. And I’ve learned that as a customer myself. Especially as a customer of color. People have talked rudely towards me more times than I can count. They’ll get attitude that I ask a question, or have a need, or especially if I ever say, “I’m going out of town tomorrow” like many clients do when trying to book a same day appointment. if they say, “come back tomorrow and we’ll help you out”. One employee I said that to, and he’s like: well why don’t you go to any of the other stores down the street and see if they can help you” in an annoyed tone. Even the client who contacted you: I wouldn’t deal with him again and I probably would have said something, or nothing. That’s an unreliable client who will keep doing the same shit until you pop off 🌋 on him.