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I had myself so wigged out over my first hire. I was sure he was going to murder me. I had friends – plural – ready to get text messages from me after I picked him up from the airport to make sure I was still alive. Now I don’t tell anyone that I’m meeting up. I guess I’ve gotten more comfortable. I hope not too comfortable…

It was just a suggestion.

I know the gym is exhilarating for some. My sister can’t wait for her gym time every day. I look at her and say to her, “Why are you going to the gym? You’re done!” 😂 She’s one of the fittest people I know. Has a great diet. Sleeps like she’s supposed to. Yet she has high blood pressure. Borderline cholesterol. Even her teeth are issues. Me on the other hand, I can’t stand the gym. I eat what some would say is a poor diet. And I don’t have any of the health issues my sister does. Even my teeth are great. The only thing that’s “wrong” is my weight and all the social problems that come with that and then the associated psychological issues associated with the social. Oh, and buying clothing can be a chore. And it’s not just fat folks who don’t like the gym. A good friend of mine maybe tips the scales at 110. She hates the gym. She also eats like a fucking horse and I envy her so bad. But life isn’t fair. She is one of the laziest people I know…with one of the biggest appetites…

It’s worked for me on more than one occasion. 🤷🏼‍♂️ Just sharing my opinion, experience, and solicited advice.

This made me chuckle. 🤭

I haven’t interacted with this thread in over a year. Although my basic premise that there is sizist discrimination and prejudice rampant in the gay community – especially the gays. It’s much less a problem for lesbians.

You mean…like…a note explaining in case the “unthinkable” happens?

I was just looking at a provider’s profile on RM. According to the profile, he joined RM 2018. In the description, it says “New to this.” How long can one be “new to this?” Needless to say, it’s easy for me to not take someone seriously who can’t be bothered to update their advertisement, including photos, in almost 4 years.

Some posts here no longer border on the verge of tome; they rival the word count of multi-volume encyclopedia. Is there a way to have a word limit or character limit on posts? I, for my part, read and post from my iPhone, so rereading Homer is tiresome. And it also would force some to think about what’s absolutely necessary to make their point – especially in the politics forum.

You can bet that her choice of communication will come up when we discuss things. Also the day and time. And the ridiculous insistence not to respond.

I actually think there’s a degree of this going on. Especially in light of the remark about managing just fine without a permanent CEO

This is the second time you’ve said more or less the same thing. What do you mean?

Who’s side are you on here? 🧐 Be rest assured…as the saga continues, I’ll keep you informed. I’m not one to sugarcoat my own flaws and blunders when it comes to miscommunication etc. It doesn’t help the situation to insist you’re right when you’re not. And as I said, I will fall on my sword often for the greater good even if I know I’m right. But you have to know what the grievance is before you can even determine if you are right. For those who felt the need to offer advice despite me saying that’s not what I’m looking for, I’m aware that I need to be more assertive. At times, that need runs up against my inclination to please people. As for outperforming – nominal assent is given to that fact. People recognize it’s true, but they don’t fully appreciate what I do insofar as they expect it. And if I wouldn’t do it, there’d be complaints out the ying-yang. My cynical side says they still wouldn’t put it together that, “Oh, hey. Look how much he did and now that he’s not, we really miss that he did so much for us.” Instead it’ll be, “Why isn’t this getting done?!”

That was my experience as well. Seems almost intentionally user-UNfriendly…

@kaboom35– That’s a sad story. Sorry. 😢 I wonder… Is there a difference between paying before you meet and as soon as you meet? When I meet a new guy, I usually pay cash. For various reasons. The most obvious being it’s the “safest” for both of us til we both know each other aren’t whackos. But even when I do that, I explain that the payment will be in an envelope, clearly visible, with his name written on it. Before we meet, I text him a picture of the envelope showing what it looks like. Before we meet, I tell him he’s free to count it then or whatever, but I don’t want to talk money once he’s there. That’s worked well for me for first encounters. I haven’t had a guy rush over to count it while I wait. And we don’t have to talk about money during our time together.

@Cliff– I’ve been burnt. Fool me once; shame on you. Fool me twice; shame on me. I won’t have it happen again. And it’s worked just for me to find alternative ways to satisfy the deposit need. And if that’s a no-go, then just like he won’t meet me without a deposit, I won’t meet him if it’s required. Business is business. I don’t owe him anything anymore than be owes me anything.

That’s so true. There’s being right and there’s being successful. Sometimes you simply have to fall on your sword in the moment in order to make bigger gains. It’s laughable to me that she thinks I’m undermining her work. If she’d work with me, we could accomplish a lot. But she’s hellbent on doing it her way with her processes and policies. I’m not from her generation. So I don’t see the necessity for a six member ad hoc committee to decide about a paperclip. But she’s very committed to communal input. And that everyone has buy-in. Which more or less often leads to a watered down shit mess of a policy…that no one likes but everyone tolerates begrudgingly. I’d rather that we all agree at the outset we do whatever is decided and whoever’s idea wins majority support is the one implemented. At least then you’ll have someone who’s enthusiastic about it. Instead of a group who’s blah on the whole thing and whatever it is you do ends up mediocre at best.

1. If you feel like they care more about the money than doing what you discussed, they do. 2. You are not an ATM. 3. If you’re unsure about something, ask for a telephone call before any arrangements are made. I’ve decided against meeting based on a telephone call. I have also changed my mind and went with because of a telephone call. 4. Don’t trust the pictures on RM completely. 5. Do not pay up front unless it’s transportation or something you offer to buy for them. I have found that if the guy is decent but wants a deposit, if I explain I was scammed out of multiple thousands of dollars before and no longer do upfront pay or deposits but will buy his transportation or something like a pair of jeans etc., he is more than willing to take that as bond. This goes back to point 1. If money is so important, it’s going to cloud the experience. 6. If you’re looking for something particular, you just need to say it. These guys have heard it all. And if they’re honest, they’ll tell you if you’re a good fit based off that. I’ve learned that there are so many providers that just because one guy won’t do what you’re looking for doesn’t mean someone else won’t. 7. There will always be fresh faces in the RM crop in a couple weeks or months. Don’t act out of desperation and hire just because you think the pool is limited to what you see. Likewise, consider flying or training in talent if you don’t like what you see in your area. Decent guys will accommodate you if you work with them.

Don’t worry. And don’t type anything you can’t defend.

So I googled the name of an escort the other day and found an ad he had on a site called harri.com. Is this a site any of you are familiar with? For locating providers? When I poked around it some more, it didn’t seem like a place escorts would advertise, but neither does craigslist when you first think about it. But it was that. So now I’m curious. 🧐

She can be deposed. And she’s not creating friends the way she’s running meetings. Most folks aren’t too aware though. The board meetings can be heated but the minutes etc. paint a rosier picture. Which, to be quite honest, I’m happy about. Particularly if they knew the way she doesn’t respond to communication when it does come her way. And then says, “we need to work on communication.” Well, read your damn emails…

I didn’t see it as a problem. I kind of like that type myself. But again…it’s the persona…not to sound like a broken record.

I didn’t see it as a problem. I kind of like that type myself. But again…it’s the persona…not to sound like a broken record.

I’ve found some of Reno’s stuff on gaymaletube.com and I have to say, I wasn’t impressed. The guy is flexible. Very. But he doesn’t do much for me. And that’s all physicality. His videos where he’s talking etc. just really turn me off.

I’m hoping when she’s ready to be mature and talk, it comes to light it was a miscommunication. I cannot imagine what it is was that upset her.