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I’m sensitive to the subject.

Then @Unicorn, of all people, understands that he shouldn’t be giving unsolicited medical advice to someone who’s not his patient and which may or may not go along with the course of treatment that another doctor has prescribed for said patient. @Epigonos– I agree. The sad thing is too many people feel disparaging remarks against fat people, happy or otherwise, are something to be tolerated. That’s what I get most upset about, the tolerance for the remarks as “rude but harmless.”

I’m not questioning his character. I’m just saying that I don’t think he’s “fat.” And scientifically and medically “obese,” especially according to a BMI chart, doesn’t necessarily mean “fat” either.

And as far as BMI goes… Here’s Zack Slater, from his RM ad…Someone ought to tell him he’s fat if “fat” is “obese.” Height: 5 feet, 7 inches Weight: 230 pounds Your BMI is 36, indicating your weight is in the Obese category for adults of your height. For your height, a healthy weight range would be from 118 to 159 pounds. People who are overweight or obese are at higher risk for chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and high cholesterol.

Okay. Still doesn’t change my assertion that he isn’t “fat” in my opinion. Scientifically and medically he may classify as obese according to his BMI, but I would hardly consider “fat” a scientific or medical term. “Fat” is more a social determinant than anything. I understand your disgusted by fatness. And I suppose that’s your prerogative. But that doesn’t mean that the guy is “fat.” In fact the very fact that you aren’t repulsed by him even though he’s technically obese would seem to indicate you’re issues aren’t the health concerns but the social and particularly the aesthetic aspects. You said yourself “some chubbiest rather charming,” and then posted several pictures of an obese person. But he’s not “fat” as you’d use it because – correct me if I’m wrong – “fat” is not a “turn-on” for you.

I don’t consider him fat.

While this is true for some, you draw the wrong conclusion if you’re meant to suggest that fat people only want to date attractive/fit people. Does the writer state she was only interested in attractive and/or fit people? Or is that your interpretation? And still, you can’t draw that conclusion from the potential predilections of one example of a group… I know for myself, it would be nice if society’s “attractive/fit” people would consider dating fat people, like me. But thinking that would be nice, wanting it, and being willing to date a societally “attractive/fit” person doesn’t mean you aren’t willing to consider other “options.” It would be nice if the pool of options were just as wide and deep as it it for societally “attractive/fit” people. Invariably someone will say that the options are there. Perhaps. My experience has been no. The one guy I dated wouldn’t garner any looks here. That’s fine. He doesn’t have to. The point is that what we like, who is considered the ideal, is rarely, if ever, interested in a fat person – or at least the lived experience of many a fat person bears testimony to that. There could be reasons for that that also don’t have to do with physicality too. A fat person is likely to appear or seem less confident, and that can be off-putting for a potential partner. Just one example. The examples unrelated to physicality would be legion, which could be directly or indirectly related to being fat why a fat person could have trouble dating.

Maybe I’m cynical and biased, but I’d be surprised he attended college. But if he did, that also wouldn’t surprise me from another perspective.

Am I doing something wrong that I have never required rubber sheets – or any special attention to sheets for that matter – when having guys over to fuck?

Yes. That’s part of the problem here. Someone who doesn’t like that I’m demanding accountability. The fact of the matter isn’t even that I’m demanding things be done as I say. I’m demanding accountability. I’m quite happy to allow department heads and the board go in a direction that they want. But the president and I, regardless who it is, need to be in lockstep and no surprises for either of us from the other, when we go into the board room. The previous president was a dream but sadly was term limited. Of course every president is different, but at the bare minimum we must communicate. I thought I had made that clear, but it seems it didn’t stick…

@Lucky- I actually like him better with a little “real world” meat. Bauchspeck. Looks good on him. I guess though guys who market their bodies are marketing something that isn’t “the norm.” So his muscular twunk physique probably sells better than the “dad bod.”

No idea. To be honest, I don’t need to know. I have enough to be concerned about without her going off as a loose cannon here. When I heard she’s having issues at work coupled with me, it leads me to believe there’s likely more going on. Stressed people act up and out…

Happened to us all in the pandemic!

His biggest concern is making you happy, though! 😉

Wow…he does look different.

@cany10011- Two different situations. I'm the CEO at a non-profit where she is the president of the board. She is having issues with me right now. On top of that, a member of the board shares with me yesterday that she (the president) is having issues at her work, a school, with the principal and is therefore taking early retirement. Hence she's having issues with leadership figures in two different major facets of her life.

If any of you continue following the unfolding drama, I found this out last night from another board member regarding the president… She's taking early retirement from school because the new principal that they hired this year (of which she was part of the hiring team and over the moon excited about) has turned out to be someone she can't work with. Apparently the new principal is someone who doesn't "collaborate." So for those who are suggesting that it's a pattern of behavior on my part, it sounds like maybe there's issues with her as well. If she's taking early retirement because she doesn't like her boss…

I will consider my way forward. I’m thinking of giving her everything she wants regarding relationship with her and seeing that it’s not as glamorous as she thinks. In effect, suspending my people pleasing inclination, at least toward her. But to be completely honest, I also don’t want to be spiteful. In the end, I’m a team player. I don’t want to be mean, but it would be easy to step back completely as she wants, be a figurehead, and watch bad things happen. Sadly, that would hugely detrimental to the whole operation, and a huge miscarriage of duty, to say nothing of responsibility, on my end. I will devise a way forward. The conversation today illuminated a lot for me to see what I’m dealing with. Some years ago, a supervisor told me it’s not the words people sing that you’ve got to listen to; it’s the music their singing to behind the words that tells you the pattern of what to expect next. There’s a lot of wisdom in that.

What are you saying?

Well… The meeting didn't go well. Not as well as it should have. Long and short is that everything that I suspected upset her had…But she also chose to misinterpret my actions. What's more, it sounds like she'll be seeing the current major project she committed to some months ago through to completion. And then she has to make some decisions. Which to me sounds like she's thinking of resigning. Now…you might be thinking, "Let her resign." And that might be okay, but the reality is that it's a stratagem. She knows that I don't want resignations under my leadership, so it's actually a means to manipulate me… I had this before at a different job when the president of the board and two other board members decided to oppose me no matter what. So I know how to play around with these types, but I hate it. Why can't things be direct?

I ain’t new to it. But thanks for the condescension. ”Offense” is also a pretty loaded word. I thought I was just making an observation.

I guess if I’m looking for someone not new I better start looking through the holdings records of the British Museum then…

We’re meeting today at 3:15. Should be grand time!