Charlie

I wonder why he calls himself "CatCityAndy" when he is not located in CatCity but in PS. Was he formerly located in CatCity?

"Give me men to match my mountains!"

I also prefer to bag my own items, because I encounter so many "baggers" who have no logical system for loading the bags. I bring different kinds of bags for different categories of items.

Photoshop? His bicep is larger than his head.

But it's not cheap to get there or stay there.

What is going on in Singapore with all these new ads by guys who are obviously from other countries?

Lucky must have forgotten how to give the address, because he used to be a Manhattanite.

Our local waste disposal company provides us with three separate disposal containers: trash, recyclables, and "green" waste, which includes composted food and yard waste, such as plant and tree trimming. Interestingly, we have been told that dog poop, which many people consider organic matter like food waste, should not go into the green waste bin with the compost, but into the trash bin. Since I haven't been able to train Fido to use the toilet, I always collect it and put it into a separate plastic bag in the trash bin.

Like most people, I tend to look at friends and acquaintances in similar circumstances as models, both good and bad. My oldest and closest friend always lived alone. When he became terminally ill in his 50s, he had a younger gay friend who was a doctor, who took him into his own home and cared for him with professional helpers until his death. Unfortunately, I have no young friends like that. Another close friend of mine lost his younger partner to AIDS. He retired and moved across the country to a small town on the Oregon coast where he knew no one. When he developed Parkinson's disease in his 80s, a friendly straight neighbor took over management of his affairs (she even did his taxes!). She found a live-in caregiver so that he could eventually die at home in his own bed. I have very friendly straight and gay neighbors, but I don't think I can depend on them for that much assistance. My mother moved into a retirement home with independent/assisted living/nursing sections, when it became difficult for me to care for her in my home; it was her own choice--she said she actually preferred to be around more people her own age. When my spouse was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I thought about doing the same thing, and we visited several multiple-tier retirement communities. The ones we thought we could comfortably afford for many years were always in areas where we knew no one and we had no already established medical support system. We decided instead to move into a local 55-plus gated community, which at least had organized social activities and exercise facilities, and was very gay-friendly. It served us well for several years, but now we need much more for him.

At least we do have some things settled--on paper, that is. My brother-in-law is executor of our estate and has both financial and health care power of attorney for both of us, with his daughter as the back-up. (She is a high-powered lawyer, which is reassuring.) But whenever I have brought up my concerns, he always simply says, "Don't worry, I can always get on a plane and come to deal with things quickly." The lawyer daughter always says the same thing: "Don't worry, we can deal with whatever happens," and I'm sure they believe that. But they live a thousand miles away, and I suspect that their way to deal with things will be the way that is most convenient for them, which probably means moving one or both of us close to them, in a place where neither of us knows anyone else. I don't blame them for that--I would probably do the same in their shoes--but that is not where I want to spend the rest of my life. I have always had close friends, the kind of people to whom I would feel safe giving control of my financial affairs, but the problem with old friends is exactly the fact that they are old, and the likelihood that they would be capable of taking care of me in the future gets more tenuous every day. It's all very well to say one should engage more with younger people, but that is easier said than done, especially when one lives in a geriatric community and is tied down as a fulltime caregiver for another old person. I have only one good friend who is much younger than I am, and although she is very understanding of my situation, she has a very busy life of her own, and I don't feel justified in asking more of her than sympathy and advice (her own mother died last year of Alzheimer's). We do have a dependable financial advisor, so I am sure that we have the financial resources for our care, but I do like your advice of meeting with a professional estate planner to possibly get another perspective on things we may not have thought about.

I wonder if there is anyone else here who is dealing with a situation similar to mine. I am now basically the fulltime caregiver for a spouse who is several years older than I am, and in steady decline, both physically and mentally (advanced Alzheimer's). He comes from a large family, which includes a younger brother, a married nephew and an unmarried niece, all of whom are both able and willing to assume responsibility for him if anything were to happen to me. However, I have no family; I was an only child, so I not only have no siblings, I also have no nieces or nephews; my closest blood relations are a couple of younger cousins whom I barely know, no one from a younger generation to take care of me if I become unable to care for myself. If I should need care while my spouse is still alive, I have no doubt his brother, niece and nephew would take care of both of us. But there is a good possibility that I will outlive my spouse, possibly for many years. My spouse and I have been together for 55 years, so his brother has known me since he was a college kid (he's now 75); his children have known me all their lives, and sometimes even refer to me as "Uncle Charlie." Nevertheless, I wonder if they would feel the same kind of responsibility to to take care of me after their brother and uncle is gone, even though it would probably not impose a financial burden on them. I like them and trust them, but I don't think I should expect the same commitment from them that I would expect from my own family members, if I had any. If anyone here is in a similar situation, what kind of plans have you made for a future in which you might no longer be able to care for yourself?

Back in the days before ads had photos, I answered a new ad in Philadelphia for a guy who described himself as "handsome." I went to the address he gave me, and when I walked in, I saw immediately that only his mother would call him "handsome"--and she probably did, and he believed her, but he was quite homely. The limited body description was fairly accurate, but it took only a short verbal interchange for me to realize that he was mentally challenged. I suspected that most potential clients would take one look and walk away, possibly with a harsh comment. I couldn't do that, because to me it would feel like abusing a child, so I went through with the act, although it wasn't easy for me to get physically aroused, although he was very excited by the sex. I was not surprised that the ad didn't stay up long.

Especially with a new hire, I always preferred to hire someone who hosted at his place. That way it was much easier for me to end the session and leave if I was dissatisfied.

I have been noticing lately that some of my favorite Trader Joe's frozen dinners--like Cod Provencale--were missing from stock at my local store. Yesterday afternoon, I stopped there, and the parking lot was so full I had to park much farther from the entrance than usual. Inside, the aisles were full of people, and I was able to find all the items I had been missing. When I asked the checker, she told me that they had just gotten in a new supply of all the frozen items that they had not been able to get from the supplier for weeks. I guess I'm not the only person who missed their Lamb Vindaloo.

What's with these hot white guys who claim to be based in Singapore, which is not exactly a great place for gays?

It must have taken some consideration to decide which category to post this one in ("Hmm, silver daddies, hairy chest, foot fetish.....?")

I think that is the first massage ad I have ever seen with a photo that focuses on the masseur's feet.

Earlier this year I traded my Mercedes SUV for a Nissan SUV. I have concluded that the only thing better about the Mercedes was the radio.

At least one won't have to wonder whether to tip the driver.

When the escort lists the languages he can "speak" he often is simply telling you in what languages he can say "hello" and "good-bye," and quote his rates.

I'm grateful that I have lived long enough to do everything I wanted to do, see everything I wanted to see, and experience everything I hoped to experience, and to have known lots of great people while doing it all. If Armageddon arrives tomorrow, at least I will have no regrets.

Although there is an official Thanksgiving in more than one country, they don't all celebrate it on the same date. (e.g., Canada celebrated it on Oct. 9).

Congratulations to the Texas Rangers on finally winning their first WS championship. I think they are the only team still playing in the original stadium in which I first watched them play. (E.g., I haven't been to a Dodgers game since I used to go to games regularly at Ebbets Field.)

One of the top women pro tennis players is named Storm Hunter.

Thugs don't usually advertise as bottoms.