BuzzBuddy

As much as I enjoy this lifestyle, I been having 2nd thoughts about the authenticity of some of the connections I’ve been making.
 
This year alone, I’ve met a lot of people but also had to let go of several people in my circles for various reasons: And they’ve all included those 4 I mentioned. I’ve had to let go of relationships, friends, fuck buddies and clients. Sometimes I wonder if the same opportunity of meeting people when traveling, also leaves the door open to many superficial connections.
 
Some examples:
 
I had met a guy in Las Vegas earlier this year, after meeting thru a mutual friend on Twitter. We spent a week together, and things were perfect. But two weeks after I left, things went south and we haven’t spoke since.
 
A former client/friend of mine in Atlanta who I’ve known for a little over a year, moved back to Colorado in June. We were sharing an air bnb together for about a week. One night he got upset when I asked to bring someone over (he wasn’t hiring me nor was he wanting sex). I left and we haven’t talked since.
 
I had a nice fuck buddy who lived 3.5 hours north of me, and we linked up twice. But after that, there wasn’t much effort on his part to keep things going. And being business in his town seems to come and go, I stopped going up there myself.
 
Then I have a client in Phoenix I’ve known for years. We were making plans to meet again over the past couple of months, in between him helping family. Our last chat, he had called me but I couldn’t take his call. I texted that I would ring back later that night, and he said it would be fine. Didn’t answer the phone, and hasn’t returned any messages in 2 weeks.
 
So I think to myself, what is going on? I don’t expect every connection to be life long, but it seems like few of them are real. I’ve been working harder on myself to just let people go, without accountability now. There was another guy in Kansas City I was getting to know (aka, fuck) on a “deeper” level. We made plans to hang out again the following week, but he gave me some lame excuse on the day before, about being sick and throwing up all day. I didn’t even question it, but the next day when he didn’t even let me know if we were on or off, I just scheduled some clients and left town.
 
I remember former Michael Vincenzo and I had a phone conversation couple years ago. He told me how when he travels, he doesn’t meet up and play with other guys outside of clients, and I can see why. Maybe his reasons were different, but I can see how it can just lead to unfulfilled expectations and just an overall distraction.

Going fully electronic also makes it much more simple for the IRS to have a complete picture of your finances in the event you're audited.
 
I've said it before: Cash is king for good reason. Venmo might be convenient, but it's got more holes than Swiss cheese.
 
It's one thing to send small amounts of cash through these apps (airfare, tips, etc), but to run $10k+ a month is just damned foolish.

Great advice! Btw it’s also use as a dating app and a way for millennials to promote themselves and the cool places they go to.

I pretty much always pay by Venmo. It's easier. It's safer. It allows me to have a spur of the moment longer session, too.

Alone time while the escort or the client is in the bathroom, taking a shower alone, etc.
 
I've done plenty of texting from the bathroom.
 
Client: "Hi, I saw your ad, I'll be in X from Wednesday to Friday? Will you be available?"
 
Escort: "When do you want to get together? What do you get into? Are you looking to host or travel?"
 
client: "Thursday at 2 P.M. Hotel X. I'm vers. I definitively want to flip".
 
Escort: "perfect, so far no plans. When will you check in at your hotel? Can you text me when you arrive?"
 
Client: "Sure. I'll text you when I get there. I hope to see you Thursday at 2."
 
Unfortunately it would take hours of texting to get something like this done.
 
In a couple of mins. call you can get so much done... but I've been told by escorts potential clients keep on claiming they don't have time to talk during work but they'll text their asses off.

Once I was in the middle of a session with a guy I saw fairly often when his ex-girlfriend called. He had just been telling me about how he hoped they could get back together, so he really wanted to take the call. He was very apologetic and said he'd make it up to me. And he sure came through...

Just to through out there too that some want to only see older white clients because they ignorantly think that's the secret to making money.

In the past female sex workers had a valid but still mis-informed worry of black clients being pimps or robbing them. Today this is probably less of a worry as society progresses forward, more black men become affluent and enter into the hiring world. Now the cross over to male escorts. Most humans in general can not or will not identify reasons as to why something is. So male escorts, learning from female escorts, picked up this practice of not accepting black clients, even though the reason why didn't fully apply to them. Now fast forward to our current political and societal landscape, where race is at the forefront, and that has brought forward people's prejudices, which is only reinforced by practices that have already been in place regarding race of clients.
 
All of it sucks, and ultimately skin color should not be an issue in escorts accepting clients. Even when accounting for the authenticity of attraction and preferences, I pretty much echo @quoththeraven with her sentiments

It is incredibly disheartening to hear anyone would feel the need to disclose their race pre-appointment as if it was source of shame.
 
Kudos to you for being welcoming and appalled by the very thought of discrimination.

A sex worker is using their body for the services they perform. Whether it’s biased, bigoted or not, they are not entitled to service every prospective client.
 
On a lighter example, let’s say a potential client hasn’t showered in a month. He is not entitled to receive the services of the escort because he requested it. The sex worker has the right to say no.
 
I believe in transparency. Although you are correct in stating that it’s a bit much to expect escorts not to be judged on their preferences, I feel that the idea would have positive results overall.
 
1.) escorts who do not have racial biases would increase business from new clients.
 
2.) escorts who have racial biases will get what they are looking for.
 
3.) potential clients won’t have to wasted time, playing the guessing game of who will want to do business with them.
 
Although I agree with you 100%, the world we live in has realities that just aren’t fair, and we have to deal with them

I avoid this by sending a picture when I contact them!
 
I figure I have seen them and they have a right to see me!
 
I would prefer to know it won't work BEFORE paying for an unsatisfactory session!!

The word "professional" gets used a lot in the forum in describing escorts. Do forum members consider escorts that discriminate against race, age, weight, etc., to be "professional"? Does it make a difference if the escort is upfront about his discriminatory practices in his advertising?

Time hasn’t changed ?
 
It’s always been like this. Lol

WTF?!! I couldn't imagine treating a client or prospective client like that. When I book a client I have no idea what their ethnic background is (unless they have an accent)and I couldn't care less. It doesn't even cross my mind.
 
It sounds like you dodged a couple of bullets because they sound like they are not only terrible business men but also awful/ugly human beings.... and that's that on that.
 

Not an escort, but I think just sign of the times.

This week a client who happens to be White asked me if I would take him (Im a massuer) even though he is a white client...and he was serious.....(most of my clients happen to be white so of course I took him). Then a Black client yesterday also asked me the same thing...So here I have white guy and a Black asking me if I'll discriminate against them.....Is this really a thing? Why would I? Do clients think I care how much or how little melanin is in their skin? Am I in the twilight zone? Was this just a coincidence? Is this happening to others? What in the hell is going on out there?

I'm not an escort. But the several times I've hired one, I always informed them that I was black. Just wanted them to know ahead of time, people have silly hang ups and if it's an issue for them I rather they tell me upfront & I won't waste my time & money on poor service. Also don't want to meet up & then get rejected.
 
While I haven't booked anyone for their full service, (just massage and some extras,) I have experienced a couple providers either ghosting me after I told them I'm black or all of sudden "need to reschedule" to a time I said I wouldn't be available. One instance the provider told me he wouldn't be attracted to me and that it wouldn't work out without some level of attraction. Another told me "You can find another escort." It's disheartening just until I delete text thread, then I move on.
Maybe it's just like that here in MN ??‍♂️

Sad day. Such an icon.

Sad day. Such an icon.

Opinion
 
Toni Morrison’s Song of America
Black life is the canvas for her body of work. But her subject is our nation.
By Tracy K. Smith
Ms. Smith is a former poet laureate of the United States.

Aug. 6, 2019


 
The first book of Toni Morrison’s that I read was “Sula.” It was a gift from my brother the summer before I started college, his reasoning being that I could not become a literate adult, let alone a black woman in America, without being initiated into Ms. Morrison’s work.
 
The first time I read the novel, I read with a sense of rapt gratitude. Despite all the pleasure that reading had offered me, up to that point in my life I honestly had never encountered black characters depicted with such rich and troubling complexity. I lurched toward the lives of Nel and Sula, the young black girls Ms. Morrison chronicles into adulthood. I recognized them in their girlhood and their dawning sense of selfhood. And I recognized the wishes and the fears and judgments of the community they grew up in.
 
From the stories my parents had carried with them on their journey to California from the Jim Crow South, I even recognized certain conditions governing the characters’ lives in a black neighborhood called “The Bottom.” But what Ms. Morrison’s novel did, by way of its intriguing and indelible characters, was to marry to that general knowledge an intimate firsthand perspective on love, betrayal and the struggle not only to survive in the physical sense but to survive in spirit. “Sula,” then “Song of Solomon,” then “Beloved" and each of Ms. Morrison’s novels as I encountered them, assured me that the lives of ordinary black people in America, both historically and now, exist upon the very same scale as myth. Her body of work insists that these same lives hold the key to something at the very heart of what America is, something that cannot be overlooked or disregarded if sense is to be made of this nation and all of us in it.
 
Black life is the canvas for Ms. Morrison’s body of work. It yields the conditions and the characters that fascinated her as an artist. But I believe her subject is America, this place founded upon conflict and driven by the need to define one group against another. Her work asks: Who are we? What have we built and broken together? What does it mean to regard one another deeply, humbly, hopefully? And what are the consequences for our refusal to regard one another? Across Ms. Morrison’s novels and essays, these questions operate in the intimate spaces — in families, friendships, marriages — that serve to determine the terms of our engagement with the wider world. And the reverse is true as well: The terms of the wider world seep inevitably into the most private regions of our lives.
 
 
 
In “Beloved,” the protagonist Sethe is haunted by the return of her own child, whom she killed in an attempt to protect her from enslavement. But beyond this insular haunting, the family is intruded upon at every turn by the larger specter of a nation whose claims of freedom, power and moral authority are confounded by systems of slavery, submission and the fallacy of racial inferiority.
 
In her essay collection “The Origin of Others,” Ms. Morrison writes, “The resources available to us for benign access to each other, for vaulting the mere blue air that separates us, are few but powerful: language, image and experience.” When we encounter the world through Ms. Morrison’s fiction, we are urged to submit to and invest in the feelings and plights of others separated from us by time and circumstance. There is very little else in the world that can so easily afford us such an opportunity. Friendship can do it, and so can love, yet there are limits to the people we befriend and those we allow ourselves to love; we must be willing to see them as worthy of our attention, and we must muster the courage to approach them. But in a novel, we vault “the mere blue air that separates us” instantly.
 
“That’s how much she loved us,” a friend said by text Tuesday morning when the news of Ms. Morrison’s death was announced. “She tried to teach us about love in everything she wrote, but what have we learned?”
 
 
It’s hard, waking up so often to news of the terror unspooling in America. Domestic terrorism. Racially motivated violence. Environmental devastation. Economic instability. It’s tempting to believe that a distinct chapter has only just now begun, one in which some new evil has been unleashed and our national work will be to devise new terms and new tools for understanding and eradicating it. It’s tempting to believe that the work that lies ahead must live on a policy level, in laws and punishment, checks and safeguards. But the living monument of Ms. Morrison’s body of work assures me that the language of peace, justice, safety and stability must enter our imagination as they always have — not through the language of policy, but via our willingness to regard one another as worthy of attention and love. Such ideas must be sat with, moved through, married to our vocabularies for love, desire, loss, resentment, remembering, healing and hope. And those vocabularies are the primary terrain of the artist.
 
 
 
I don’t believe there is a writer who understood America better and loved it with more ferocity than Toni Morrison. Her genius and her humanity invite us to imagine a different sense of who we are, even now, and where, together, we might decide we are going

Why am I asking? No specific reason. ?
 
Gman

Why am I asking? No specific reason. ?
 
Gman

Once again, you've given me many options to choose from; as well as, keen observations I'd never have considered. Hearing options and the conversations behind them, has made me more enlightened as to what's possible, or even probable. Thanks much all.

Puzzling on Square. I’m sure something was flagged possibly from someone that paid you which had them watch carefully.
 
I think in the end, cash will prevail in this industry. I now have the habit of paying restaurant bills with CC and leaving a cash tip. I’m sure my server appreciates it.

All your comments are much appreciated. I, too have depression and anxiety, and it helps me to have people share their experiences. May you all be well.