I think that sometimes we get so caught up in our own wants and needs that we forget to engage in prospective taking. Providers have lives, including sex lives, outside of their sex work, and it's important to respect their boundaries. What providers do for money can differ from what they do in their personal lives. Hiring is largely rooted in fantasy. You're not doing yourself any favors by testing these guys to see if they will engage with you outside of RM. If you want to hire them, do so via the designated method in their ad. Finally, I get it - rejection can be distressing. You can't, however, control how guys on Grindr choose to reject you. I would say that not responding to messages is the most common approach, so it's important to learn to cope with that. Otherwise, you'll find dating/hookup apps very challenging.