DALE CRUZE

I know i will prolly get ridiculed for making this statement so before i do let me qualify it first by saying There are so many ways of doing a session. Whether it is an escort vs. masseur keep in mind that you have every right to get exactly what you desire and should definitely “shop” around before making a decision. Having said that just remember that this shyt aint rocket science and sometimes you may not even know what you TRULY like or want until u have experienced it for the first time and then all of a sudden, something clicks and ur saying to yourself, “hey...i really dig that and wanna try that again!”
So here goes my very watered and oversimplified analogy of the difference between an Escort vs. Masseur ...
 
With an Escort - the client controls the session / with a Masseur- the client gives up control of the session to the masseur .
 
Now before some of you get ur “panties” all in a bunch on this , (lol) ? hear me out .
When i first started doing massage 10 years ago , i was so green . I was scared i would make a mistake . I kept trying to figure out what the client wanted . And after i had seen a number of clients it became apparent to me these 3 things:
 
1. The client wants to let go and relax and not think about much in a massage . They want you to give their body the attention it needs and deserves without having to be a director. They seldom want chit chat during that period . Just make them feel good
 
2. The massage client is quite often in a relationship or situation where they are neglected physically. ie- married to female , stagnant boyfriend, or maybe they have a job that is strenuous or where they are constantly having to make important stressful decisions all day and for the duration of the session they just want to let go~feel pampered and be self indulgent on a small quiet scale.
 
3. Sexual arousal is okay but is not paramount & often “my” clients are more interested in a little frottage or in some cases not even that. And it’s okay ? as long as they leave feeling better mentally and physically...mission accomplished. A release at the end doesn’t really even amount to what i would define as sex. Thats also a very physical way of releasing tension. So it does complete a very good sensual massage in a positive way .
 
Now this is strictly my own views and i know i am not nor do i pretend 2 B an expert in all things “massage” but i have been doin it a long time and i have asked many questions thru the years.
 
At one point i did post an ad on Rentmen. And this is how i came to my version of the differences between the two .
Practically EVERY client that contacted me from Rentmen had specific requests and interests and what they expected out of a session. And that is OK too !
But the client is still in control .
 
Now some will say, “Hey wait a minute, I want to be a sub and I’m looking for somebody to dominate me and tell me what to do!” And you might be thinking well the client is giving up control of the session in that scenario!!
Not so ... The client is still determining what he wants/gets from the escort. And if that client goes into the session and mrEscort X doesn’t perform in exactly that manner, guess what ? The client most likely will end the session early . Still the client is in control .
That’s not to say that a client wouldn’t walk out of a bad massage early also. But the only time I’ve ever had that happen is when a client came to me for a massage mistakingly thinking that I was an escort posing as a masseur . Anyways i dont give bad massages !!
Also, I do not advertise anymore on Rentmen so that clients don’t see me playing different roles and getting confused about the services that I offer.
I know some guys do both, and I am not in anyway suggesting that there is any thing wrong with that. But I prefer for myself the energy exchange between me and the client through the healing power of a massage.
I connect better in that situation. And I like to stay in control.
What can I say? I guess I’m a control freak. ??‍♂️
 
Now, have my massages sometimes resulted in some hot intense sex? Yes of course . But again I like when things unfold naturally regarding sexual contact. I’m not the kind of person that makes a laundry list of requirements prior to sex.
 
I also found out about myself very quickly after I first started doing massage, that I really enjoy healing another person’s body thru touch!!
 
When I started doing massage It was only by accident because I had lost (like so many others) my job when Bush Left office and I couldn’t find work. My self-esteem was very low from constant rejection for employment.
My friend who was already doing massage brought me into it . And Once I started doing massage, I felt better about myself because I was helping others feel better too.
 
Since that time I have massaged I think I Estimated about 5000 or more & I never looked back .
Personally, I’ve hired both. Escorts and Masseurs.
They both bring something of interest to me to the table. But when I make those purchases, I shop around to get exactly what I want. And so should you.
Don’t get too upset if it takes a few tries. Chalk it up as a learning experience.
I have found that some of the most memorable experiences I’ve had were completely by accident and when I tossed all my Pre-requisites to the wind & took a leap of faith.
With that i say to you ...Peace and happy hunting !!! ✌️?

Dale,
 
I had never been able to think through the control issues; I was aware of them, but you did a nice job of expressing it. When I schedule a massage, I really do want to relax and be touched; when I've had a choice between a massage and an escort session, I do this internal debate and more often than not, I'll schedule the massage with the hope that there will be sensual and even erotic elements.
 
JS

I know i will prolly get ridiculed for making this statement so before i do let me qualify it first by saying There are so many ways of doing a session. Whether it is an escort vs. masseur keep in mind that you have every right to get exactly what you desire and should definitely “shop” around before making a decision. Having said that just remember that this shyt aint rocket science and sometimes you may not even know what you TRULY like or want until u have experienced it for the first time and then all of a sudden, something clicks and ur saying to yourself, “hey...i really dig that and wanna try that again!”
So here goes my very watered and oversimplified analogy of the difference between an Escort vs. Masseur ...
 
With an Escort - the client controls the session / with a Masseur- the client gives up control of the session to the masseur .
 
Now before some of you get ur “panties” all in a bunch on this , (lol) ? hear me out .
When i first started doing massage 10 years ago , i was so green . I was scared i would make a mistake . I kept trying to figure out what the client wanted . And after i had seen a number of clients it became apparent to me these 3 things:
 
1. The client wants to let go and relax and not think about much in a massage . They want you to give their body the attention it needs and deserves without having to be a director. They seldom want chit chat during that period . Just make them feel good
 
2. The massage client is quite often in a relationship or situation where they are neglected physically. ie- married to female , stagnant boyfriend, or maybe they have a job that is strenuous or where they are constantly having to make important stressful decisions all day and for the duration of the session they just want to let go~feel pampered and be self indulgent on a small quiet scale.
 
3. Sexual arousal is okay but is not paramount & often “my” clients are more interested in a little frottage or in some cases not even that. And it’s okay ? as long as they leave feeling better mentally and physically...mission accomplished. A release at the end doesn’t really even amount to what i would define as sex. Thats also a very physical way of releasing tension. So it does complete a very good sensual massage in a positive way .
 
Now this is strictly my own views and i know i am not nor do i pretend 2 B an expert in all things “massage” but i have been doin it a long time and i have asked many questions thru the years.
 
At one point i did post an ad on Rentmen. And this is how i came to my version of the differences between the two .
Practically EVERY client that contacted me from Rentmen had specific requests and interests and what they expected out of a session. And that is OK too !
But the client is still in control .
 
Now some will say, “Hey wait a minute, I want to be a sub and I’m looking for somebody to dominate me and tell me what to do!” And you might be thinking well the client is giving up control of the session in that scenario!!
Not so ... The client is still determining what he wants/gets from the escort. And if that client goes into the session and mrEscort X doesn’t perform in exactly that manner, guess what ? The client most likely will end the session early . Still the client is in control .
That’s not to say that a client wouldn’t walk out of a bad massage early also. But the only time I’ve ever had that happen is when a client came to me for a massage mistakingly thinking that I was an escort posing as a masseur . Anyways i dont give bad massages !!
Also, I do not advertise anymore on Rentmen so that clients don’t see me playing different roles and getting confused about the services that I offer.
I know some guys do both, and I am not in anyway suggesting that there is any thing wrong with that. But I prefer for myself the energy exchange between me and the client through the healing power of a massage.
I connect better in that situation. And I like to stay in control.
What can I say? I guess I’m a control freak. ??‍♂️
 
Now, have my massages sometimes resulted in some hot intense sex? Yes of course . But again I like when things unfold naturally regarding sexual contact. I’m not the kind of person that makes a laundry list of requirements prior to sex.
 
I also found out about myself very quickly after I first started doing massage, that I really enjoy healing another person’s body thru touch!!
 
When I started doing massage It was only by accident because I had lost (like so many others) my job when Bush Left office and I couldn’t find work. My self-esteem was very low from constant rejection for employment.
My friend who was already doing massage brought me into it . And Once I started doing massage, I felt better about myself because I was helping others feel better too.
 
Since that time I have massaged I think I Estimated about 5000 or more & I never looked back .
Personally, I’ve hired both. Escorts and Masseurs.
They both bring something of interest to me to the table. But when I make those purchases, I shop around to get exactly what I want. And so should you.
Don’t get too upset if it takes a few tries. Chalk it up as a learning experience.
I have found that some of the most memorable experiences I’ve had were completely by accident and when I tossed all my Pre-requisites to the wind & took a leap of faith.
With that i say to you ...Peace and happy hunting !!! ✌️?

I know i will prolly get ridiculed for making this statement so before i do let me qualify it first by saying There are so many ways of doing a session. Whether it is an escort vs. masseur keep in mind that you have every right to get exactly what you desire and should definitely “shop” around before making a decision. Having said that just remember that this shyt aint rocket science and sometimes you may not even know what you TRULY like or want until u have experienced it for the first time and then all of a sudden, something clicks and ur saying to yourself, “hey...i really dig that and wanna try that again!”
So here goes my very watered and oversimplified analogy of the difference between an Escort vs. Masseur ...
 
With an Escort - the client controls the session / with a Masseur- the client gives up control of the session to the masseur .
 
Now before some of you get ur “panties” all in a bunch on this , (lol) ? hear me out .
When i first started doing massage 10 years ago , i was so green . I was scared i would make a mistake . I kept trying to figure out what the client wanted . And after i had seen a number of clients it became apparent to me these 3 things:
 
1. The client wants to let go and relax and not think about much in a massage . They want you to give their body the attention it needs and deserves without having to be a director. They seldom want chit chat during that period . Just make them feel good
 
2. The massage client is quite often in a relationship or situation where they are neglected physically. ie- married to female , stagnant boyfriend, or maybe they have a job that is strenuous or where they are constantly having to make important stressful decisions all day and for the duration of the session they just want to let go~feel pampered and be self indulgent on a small quiet scale.
 
3. Sexual arousal is okay but is not paramount & often “my” clients are more interested in a little frottage or in some cases not even that. And it’s okay ? as long as they leave feeling better mentally and physically...mission accomplished. A release at the end doesn’t really even amount to what i would define as sex. Thats also a very physical way of releasing tension. So it does complete a very good sensual massage in a positive way .
 
Now this is strictly my own views and i know i am not nor do i pretend 2 B an expert in all things “massage” but i have been doin it a long time and i have asked many questions thru the years.
 
At one point i did post an ad on Rentmen. And this is how i came to my version of the differences between the two .
Practically EVERY client that contacted me from Rentmen had specific requests and interests and what they expected out of a session. And that is OK too !
But the client is still in control .
 
Now some will say, “Hey wait a minute, I want to be a sub and I’m looking for somebody to dominate me and tell me what to do!” And you might be thinking well the client is giving up control of the session in that scenario!!
Not so ... The client is still determining what he wants/gets from the escort. And if that client goes into the session and mrEscort X doesn’t perform in exactly that manner, guess what ? The client most likely will end the session early . Still the client is in control .
That’s not to say that a client wouldn’t walk out of a bad massage early also. But the only time I’ve ever had that happen is when a client came to me for a massage mistakingly thinking that I was an escort posing as a masseur . Anyways i dont give bad massages !!
Also, I do not advertise anymore on Rentmen so that clients don’t see me playing different roles and getting confused about the services that I offer.
I know some guys do both, and I am not in anyway suggesting that there is any thing wrong with that. But I prefer for myself the energy exchange between me and the client through the healing power of a massage.
I connect better in that situation. And I like to stay in control.
What can I say? I guess I’m a control freak. ??‍♂️
 
Now, have my massages sometimes resulted in some hot intense sex? Yes of course . But again I like when things unfold naturally regarding sexual contact. I’m not the kind of person that makes a laundry list of requirements prior to sex.
 
I also found out about myself very quickly after I first started doing massage, that I really enjoy healing another person’s body thru touch!!
 
When I started doing massage It was only by accident because I had lost (like so many others) my job when Bush Left office and I couldn’t find work. My self-esteem was very low from constant rejection for employment.
My friend who was already doing massage brought me into it . And Once I started doing massage, I felt better about myself because I was helping others feel better too.
 
Since that time I have massaged I think I Estimated about 5000 or more & I never looked back .
Personally, I’ve hired both. Escorts and Masseurs.
They both bring something of interest to me to the table. But when I make those purchases, I shop around to get exactly what I want. And so should you.
Don’t get too upset if it takes a few tries. Chalk it up as a learning experience.
I have found that some of the most memorable experiences I’ve had were completely by accident and when I tossed all my Pre-requisites to the wind & took a leap of faith.
With that i say to you ...Peace and happy hunting !!! ✌️?

I know i will prolly get ridiculed for making this statement so before i do let me qualify it first by saying There are so many ways of doing a session. Whether it is an escort vs. masseur keep in mind that you have every right to get exactly what you desire and should definitely “shop” around before making a decision. Having said that just remember that this shyt aint rocket science and sometimes you may not even know what you TRULY like or want until u have experienced it for the first time and then all of a sudden, something clicks and ur saying to yourself, “hey...i really dig that and wanna try that again!”
So here goes my very watered and oversimplified analogy of the difference between an Escort vs. Masseur ...
 
With an Escort - the client controls the session / with a Masseur- the client gives up control of the session to the masseur .
 
Now before some of you get ur “panties” all in a bunch on this , (lol) ? hear me out .
When i first started doing massage 10 years ago , i was so green . I was scared i would make a mistake . I kept trying to figure out what the client wanted . And after i had seen a number of clients it became apparent to me these 3 things:
 
1. The client wants to let go and relax and not think about much in a massage . They want you to give their body the attention it needs and deserves without having to be a director. They seldom want chit chat during that period . Just make them feel good
 
2. The massage client is quite often in a relationship or situation where they are neglected physically. ie- married to female , stagnant boyfriend, or maybe they have a job that is strenuous or where they are constantly having to make important stressful decisions all day and for the duration of the session they just want to let go~feel pampered and be self indulgent on a small quiet scale.
 
3. Sexual arousal is okay but is not paramount & often “my” clients are more interested in a little frottage or in some cases not even that. And it’s okay ? as long as they leave feeling better mentally and physically...mission accomplished. A release at the end doesn’t really even amount to what i would define as sex. Thats also a very physical way of releasing tension. So it does complete a very good sensual massage in a positive way .
 
Now this is strictly my own views and i know i am not nor do i pretend 2 B an expert in all things “massage” but i have been doin it a long time and i have asked many questions thru the years.
 
At one point i did post an ad on Rentmen. And this is how i came to my version of the differences between the two .
Practically EVERY client that contacted me from Rentmen had specific requests and interests and what they expected out of a session. And that is OK too !
But the client is still in control .
 
Now some will say, “Hey wait a minute, I want to be a sub and I’m looking for somebody to dominate me and tell me what to do!” And you might be thinking well the client is giving up control of the session in that scenario!!
Not so ... The client is still determining what he wants/gets from the escort. And if that client goes into the session and mrEscort X doesn’t perform in exactly that manner, guess what ? The client most likely will end the session early . Still the client is in control .
That’s not to say that a client wouldn’t walk out of a bad massage early also. But the only time I’ve ever had that happen is when a client came to me for a massage mistakingly thinking that I was an escort posing as a masseur . Anyways i dont give bad massages !!
Also, I do not advertise anymore on Rentmen so that clients don’t see me playing different roles and getting confused about the services that I offer.
I know some guys do both, and I am not in anyway suggesting that there is any thing wrong with that. But I prefer for myself the energy exchange between me and the client through the healing power of a massage.
I connect better in that situation. And I like to stay in control.
What can I say? I guess I’m a control freak. ??‍♂️
 
Now, have my massages sometimes resulted in some hot intense sex? Yes of course . But again I like when things unfold naturally regarding sexual contact. I’m not the kind of person that makes a laundry list of requirements prior to sex.
 
I also found out about myself very quickly after I first started doing massage, that I really enjoy healing another person’s body thru touch!!
 
When I started doing massage It was only by accident because I had lost (like so many others) my job when Bush Left office and I couldn’t find work. My self-esteem was very low from constant rejection for employment.
My friend who was already doing massage brought me into it . And Once I started doing massage, I felt better about myself because I was helping others feel better too.
 
Since that time I have massaged I think I Estimated about 5000 or more & I never looked back .
Personally, I’ve hired both. Escorts and Masseurs.
They both bring something of interest to me to the table. But when I make those purchases, I shop around to get exactly what I want. And so should you.
Don’t get too upset if it takes a few tries. Chalk it up as a learning experience.
I have found that some of the most memorable experiences I’ve had were completely by accident and when I tossed all my Pre-requisites to the wind & took a leap of faith.
With that i say to you ...Peace and happy hunting !!! ✌️?

People are such hipocrites... and the “customer is always right”, mentality is pure toxic bullshit.
 
If customers can post commentary on masseurs (many people tear them down and unfairly trash them with ill intent), then why can’t a masseur address an issue he had with a client? He didn’t mention the person’s name or any other identifying information.
 
As a customer, it makes my blood boil, how some of you think that just because you are paying for a service, that you have the “right”, to have one-sided benefits that cater to your egoes.
 
Some of you don’t realize it, but some of you are BAD CUSTOMERS and teeter along the lines of social retardation.
 
“Lavender Guy”, stalked this masseur on another site, then after being rejected, finds out he is a masseur, and then books an appointment with the intent of manipulating him into sex. When the masseur doesn’t fall for the catfishing, he then lies about an allergy and demands a refund.
This dude is beyond “involuntary celibacy”, and creeped me the hell out.
 
There’s no way he should be excused for his behavior, nor should the masseur keep quiet.
Actually, he should warn other masseurs about this guy... he’s a safety risk!!!

Amen to that! The Deep South has never been a consistent hit for me. It even used to be that Nashville was a fairly decent market a few years ago, now that place is fierce...with BS, and catching up with the ATL state of mind. And even though there’s money there, most is concentrated either downtown or the areas to the south on 65. The rest reeks of poverty. I was all too happy to leave back in 2017...but I still make visits there occasionally. Each time varies. Sometimes it’s good, other times it’s dead. The presence of Grindr continues to trouble that market, but the ridding of craigslist and backpage has slightly improved it. As the case for many cities in the country.
 
As for repressed markets: I just don’t understand it. What’s kinda sad is the fact that there’s some small towns outside of repressed cities, that aren’t just repressed, but have 0 advertising gay people on any site. No kidding, the area I’m in right now South of Kansas City has 0 people on Adam (it’s actually not even an option), and 0 people on Grindr. The closest gay person on any website is usually like 22 miles away. And I can forget about meeting any clients out this way, I have to travel an hour north to Kansas City anytime I get a client. Needless to say, it’s a temporary situation that I only need to do for about 1 to 3 weeks at a time since I’m always traveling country.
 
Yet, I go to the gyms in this area...there’s one hot guy after the next. Back to back. I’m like, how it is that non of these guys are on any gay platform?
 
It just goes to show the overall gay “scene” is still pretty much invisible in all but the largest of cities. Then, when you finally do meet a gay person in such areas, they’re often half-closeted, and only use gay guys for sex. That’s why I said before sites like Grindr are sleazy. It’s not Grindr itself that’s sleazy, it’s the way people use it that makes it sleazy.
 
At the same time, what can one do? It wouldn’t make any sense if apps werent sleazy. Anytime I meet a guy at the gym, he’s talking about his “girlfriend”. Well shit, where else am I supposed to get some from? It’s hard enough to find even a guy who’s gay, so when I do...most likely we’re going to fuck.
 
The issue comes when gay guys can’t see beyond that. It grates my nerves when I meet a guy and hit it off a couple of times, but anytime they have plans to do outside of sex, there’s never any inclusion. That when it becomes evident that they’re still repressed, and can only define gay in the capacity of sex and nothing else.

the BEST answer fer sure. given that there are soooo many factors to calculate this , it is true in my experience also...the cities that are the most repressed have been good for me as well. but then again i do really well in nyc and not so good in LA. and ATL is full of flakes that have no consideration for another persons time. get used to that in the deep south... they seem to operate on a different time frame. either that or they like to make a dramatic late entrance.

the BEST answer fer sure. given that there are soooo many factors to calculate this , it is true in my experience also...the cities that are the most repressed have been good for me as well. but then again i do really well in nyc and not so good in LA. and ATL is full of flakes that have no consideration for another persons time. get used to that in the deep south... they seem to operate on a different time frame. either that or they like to make a dramatic late entrance.

Thanks for your input and yes now i do ask that question. i usually always ask: "do u have any injuries , surgeries, neck pain , back pain, or chronic pain in ur body . Are you in pain now anywhere? do you have blood clots or are you on blood thinners?" so now i add: " are you allergic to any fragrances or essential oils, have skin allergies or sensitivities that would lead you to break out from receiving a massage with professional plant based massaged lotion which may contain lavender or other herbs.?" and i guess i should also include "are you prone to cancer from being around wind turbines and what is your blood type and zodiac sign" jk about the last one

why would screwing someone be expected services??? i don't advertise that i offer penetration. I don't offer penetration with my massage and that is always made clear up front. on rare occasion tho i have had people still pursue that from me when i get there EVEN THOUGH i let them know up front that its not offered. but that is really very rare. most of my clients are not wanting to get screwed. they want a great massage . and i deliver that. THE client in this scenario NEVER said i gave him a lousy massage. make note

as to the question of why i brought this to forum, well because i was CONFLICTED at the time . And i guess i was wrong for asking the question. excuse me. so WHAT ARE we supposed to talk about here? let me know so i can figure out once and for all if this is a site that i want to continue to hang out on. MANY folks i see here everyday chatting about everything under the sun. BUT asking a question about refunds is off ...IS THAT IT ? I barely come here at all and the few times i do its about true professional input and so that makes me a villain? okay. noted

Because this is a good and a safe place to get feedback.

thanks...thats what i was thinking. he said he broke out in hives all over and made a huge fuss over it yet he was inked up almost everywhere on his body so i am wondering why someone like that would be such a "cupcake" ? i think he just wanted me to fuck him and got upset when i rejected the idea.

Jeopardized his life? With an allergy to lavender that he did not disclose? Bullshit. You owe him nothing but a polite apology. Sounds like he is experiencing The Velvet Rage.

Hell no on the refund! Out of curiosity, was it a 60 minute or 90 minute massage?

Refund
For all the reasons above.

1.) If he’s allergic to lavender, I’m wonderig why he didn’t specify this allergy prior to the massage.
 
2.) Did he not smell the lavender as he was being massaged with the lotion? Lavender has a distinctive smell. I find it strange that he didn’t notice this during the massage.
 
3.) If you showed him pics of the lotion used, would he be willing to show you pics of his allergic reaction to the product?
 
I know I’m going to get slammed for this, but in my opinion, he shouldn’t be refunded. His allergy is HIS responsibility.
 
For example, if a customer has a specific food allergy, and they visit a restaurant and order a meal, they typically confirm if that ingredient is in the dish they want, prior to ordering it. They don’t eat the food, without verification, then demand a refund after they’ve eaten the food and have had an allergic reaction.
 
Lavender is a commonly used aromatherapy product. If one received a massage, it would make sense to ask if it is being used, if there’s an existing allergy.
 
However, if you do decide to give him a refund, inform your local peers in the business of this customer’s allergy.... just in case he’s running a scam.
 
Also, now you can ask prospective clients if they have any allergies before performing massages. ☺️

so far i can add albuquerque to my list of worst cities becuz the guys here are really full of shit . lol total ""hide behind my keyboard talking shit for hours with no intention of doing anything becuz i'm such a tweeker""... kinda town.

so far i can add albuquerque to my list of worst cities becuz the guys here are really full of shit . lol total ""hide behind my keyboard talking shit for hours with no intention of doing anything becuz i'm such a tweeker""... kinda town.

thanks for the info !!

Actually my dermatologist was telling they are having some data coming in that the vaccine may help some people somewhat with regular warts. It's possible you get some cross-strain immunity now that the vaccine covers more different strains of HPV.

My physician once commented that it’s rather difficult to get warts from skin/skin contact. He pointed out that he’d touched and examined lots in his working life but never had one himself.

If it were THAT hard to get they'd be a lot less common. He's also likely promptly washing his hands, which people don't do in every instance of skin-to-sking contact they have. There's also a difference between touching someone for 30 seconds versus 60-90 minutes...he has orders of magnitude less exposure than a masseur or sex partner.

Are you sure they were warts and not seborrheic keratosis?
https://www.aad.org/public/diseases/bumps-and-growths/seborrheic-keratoses
 
Also, they have recently expanded the age guidelines for Gardasil, the HPV vaccine, and I would think all massage therapists should get it.