cal

A masseur I used to see offered both a sensual and an erotic massage. When I asked him what the difference was, he said the sensual was nude and there was some mutual touching, but for the erotic we’d get to know each other a lot better.

as suggested, I'd go with a professional provider who has solid reviews at daddysreviews dot com.......when you zero in on a few dudes, mention them in this thread (with links) and see if we have any comments
 
be honest, but I'd wait until the second text/email to get specific (some providers like a modicum of discretion!).....in the first email or text, just say hi, very briefly describe yourself, mention you're new at this and are looking for a "teacher" of sorts (though some providers may not want to bother with all that seems to entail)......be polite, professional, to-the-point and brief, and don't bombard them with too many contacts......
 
the tone of their communication will help a lot.....

in the cities you mentioned, you will find escorts who are also massage therapists; I think an erotic massage might be a great way to experience sensuality with another man; and be sure to explain to the escort what is in your comfort zone

https://rentmasseur.com/wehohugo
 
https://rentmasseur.com/AsnHottie_Max
 
These are two of my current favorites in San Francisco. Karl Kang is also very nice guy good massage.
 
PM for details.

Seems to be running an ad on massuerfinder under the name of Aaron.
https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/13238/
Nice guy.
Saw him a few years back. PM for details.

I’d started getting allot of these that spoof a number a few digits different from mine. It was confusing at first... The HIYA app now grabs these.

The latest wrinkle (at least for me) is the call shows up with a number close to my own. I ignore it. Another call comes in from a slightly different number. After the third call, they stop for a few days.
 
My dad dealt with telemarketers by engaging them in conversation. After about twenty minutes they would hang up never to call again.

My regular guy quoted me $100 for an hour, $150 for 90 minutes. For 90 minutes, I give him anything from $150-$160 - since the ATMs don't have $10 bills in them. I gave him two very nice bottles of wine for Christmas and two more on his birthday. He seems happy with the situation.
 
He also works on me from an hour and twenty minutes up to an hour and fifty minutes, never mentioning he's gone over/under time. He knows I'm usually prepared to pay $150 and that's what he accepts. Once when I attempted to pay him an extra $50 because the previous massage went to 2 hours, he refused to accept the payment.
 
I treat him with respect bordering on adoration and funny, he treats me the very same way.

I have seen him twice, the last time in late March. The pictures in his ad match with who I met with in March. He is conveniently located, clean studio, very friendly, good massage. I would recommend him.

I have seen him twice, the last time in late March. The pictures in his ad match with who I met with in March. He is conveniently located, clean studio, very friendly, good massage. I would recommend him.

Never ask customers for their age, pics or any personal info before meeting. If you want your customers to be a certain age, body type, etc you are in the wrong business.

If you join this forum, don’t spam threads putting down other masseurs to advertise yourself. You’ll get the opposite effect.

While I was transitioning from my 60's into my 70's, I came to realize my physician was right all along with his warnings about my obesity. I began to experience a noticeable physical weakness and shortness of breath. It was then that I began to seriously diet and incorporate a mild daily exercise routine. Soon after, I began to feel more physical strength and dieting became more effective. Now, while I'm a far cry from model or marathon material, I feel I'm at the top of my game and am inspired to continue/maintain my dieting/exercise practices.

I mentioned a little while back that I had an appointment coming up with a husband and wife, well, they had to reschedule TWICE, but finally were able to make it Friday of last week. I had spoken on the phone with the wife and emailed with the husband, so I already had a good feeling about their spirit and energy, but was still anxious about it all. I expressed to her that I'm not really sexually attracted to women and she was fine with that, as this was really about her husband.
 
He shared with her a couple years ago that he wanted to explore intimate and erotic touch with a man, and she was entirely supportive. They told me that they looked at hundreds of profiles and decided they felt most comfortable with me.
 
Well, the entire evening was just amazing. We started with massaging him, then invited him to explore my body and told her to join him as well, if she liked (and she did). Ultimately things got quite erotic with him which she absolutely loved witnessing. In the end he was without words. He said that even though he really enjoyed all the erotic energy we shared, that what probably moved him the most was just being able to hold and be held by a man, in a loving and nurturing way. We talked about how most men (straight identifying usually) aren't comfortable showing any physical intimacy to another man, a hug has to include a hard slap on the back and a handshake has to be firm and forceful.
 
They assured me that they will be back to see me regularly, and I couldnt be more excited to continue this journey with them. I was so emotionally moved by the amount of love and support they have for one another.

It is okay to turn down a client if you do not get a good feeling from your initial contact.

At My Introduction to Martinis, I demanded that I like them dry. Very dry.
I got the first one. "No, this isn't right, it's too wet." I finished it off, of course, not wanting to waste ...
I got the second one. It was worse than the first. "No, this isn't right, I like them dry, we're headed in the wrong direction."
I got the third one. It was worse than the first two. "I told you, I like them dry. This is definitely wrong."
"Sir, that's straight gin. It doesn't get any drier than that."
 
Turns out, I like them wet. 3:1 is perfect. I used to like Bombay Sapphire, but I've switched to Hendricks. And four olives, to munch on until something more appealing comes.
 
Story of the Evening:
 
Anna Russell, comedienne and performer, would tour with her Accompaniest. They would always go to the hotel bar, and ask for Dry Martinis. What they received were always interesting, but usually dreadful.
 
They were at the Grand Hotel in Melbourne, Australia [don't ask me the State] They ordered martinis, and were overwhelmed! They were the best Martinis either of them had ever had!
 
They asked the bartender where he'd learned to make them.
 
"Oh, the Queen Mum [ER II's mum] was on tour, and I had to learn to make them for her. She likes them rather dry ..."
"12:1."
 
Of which, the Queen Mum got a little loose in the tongue when she became older, and was kept from the public for that very reason. One wonders what reaction the recent Nuptials would have provoked. At any rate, she was a tad unsteady on her feet, and as a precaution, usually had a pair of Good Looking and Well Build Males, on on each side. [One assumes they were gay, if for no other reason than being Good Looking and Hunky.]
 
One day, she started to get up, and they came to her side. She looked at them, and pronounced:
 


"Well, I don't know about YOU TWO, but THIS Queen needs a drink!"

I miss the old girl.

It is okay to turn down a client if you do not get a good feeling from your initial contact.

Don

 
Don't ask or worse, demand for tips. A masseur did this to me. Just bad form, gentlemen.

I wish more masseurs did this. The few times I’ve received a follow up thank you text, it made me very happy and made me look forward to our next encounter.

I wish more masseurs did this. The few times I’ve received a follow up thank you text, it made me very happy and made me look forward to our next encounter.

A lot of these best practices go both ways.

I thought about trying that for a hot minute and came up with several reasons it’s a poor choice, at least for me.
 
The biggest reason I would not choose that method is that I want to individualize my time, approach, and services to the person. Simply having an appointment for Jim at 5 on Thursday tells me nothing actually useful for doing my job, particularly if this is someone I’ve never spent time with before.
 
It also doesn’t allow you to screen clients. It doesn’t allow you to negotiate times and dates. I also really don’t care to share my full schedule openly with anyone passing through my site.
 
I think it’s really important - particularly now - for us providers to not turn to automation or less personal experiences. We’re called on to be with people for some very intimate and vulnerable times and we ask for a considerable fee for our time. Part of what a client is paying for is to feel taken care of and provided with the special attention they deserve. I can understand the temptation to look at something like automatic scheduling that ostensibly appear to make life easier, but if I were a client and felt my escort was removed from the experience of interacting with me by some software, I’d move on.

I think it's a horrible idea. I'd say just cash in the life insurance policy, get the money, and spend it, if that is your choice.
 
That's the simple answer. Now here's the psychodrama answer.
 
Maninsoma did an excellent job of summing up the practical considerations of why an escort might not like such an arrangement. As in, "Show me the money." I'd never agree to that kind of a proposal, for the reasons he said. If I were you, I'd be a little bit worried about both the intelligence and reliability of an escort that would agree to such an arrangement.
 
At various points I had offers from clients to go into real estate together, including structuring the payment of fees around some sort of long-term commitment to own property together. Like: I'll loan you money, we'll own a place together, you can pay me back in services. I thought establishing those kinds of strings was generally a bad idea. The few times somebody offered to own property together, I said no.
 
There is an exception to that rule, which is not the same but is in the ballpark of your idea, which I think proves my point. One client who I've known for over 15 years and who I still consider a friend did lend me significant amounts of money I used as down payments to purchase homes. The loans were repaid in services. As money was repaid, he'd lend me more money. So for a period of years I always owed him money, and in some years the amount was substantial enough that he asked for and I agreed to a lien on a property, in the event that I died. In that sense, it was no different than a "hard money" loan one might get - no pun intended - except there was no interest.
 
With the benefit of hindsight, I think I can say honestly that his generosity had little impact on the financial outcome for me. In one case I bought a house in a declining market sooner than I should have, for more than I would have if I had been forced to wait. In another case, I was able to buy a house in an appreciating market quicker than I would have been able to otherwise. In the end, any pluses or minuses were marginal. But it was more "legit" than what you are proposing, in that I got real money now, not a promise. In theory, it was a bigger risk for him, in that I could have said, "Fuck you." But like I said, he also covered his ass by asking for a lien.
 
The biggest problem with this arrangement is that I think it fosters resentment. I can't read minds, so I can only speak for myself. And what I'll say is nuanced. Part of the reason I accepted his offer - it was his idea, not mine - is that I knew by the point he offered it that he always liked having some hook in people, that made him the dominant one. So in a sense my calculation went like this: "I could use the money, and he'll feel like he owns a piece of me, and I can live with that." So I could argue it worked for about a decade. But I don't think that's an optimal way to construct trust, even among an escort and a client.
 
He often took the opportunity to point out to me that I had somehow missed an opportunity to express my gratitude for how kind he was to me, and how grateful I should be for the way he provided unique opportunities for me. When I called him on this, he of course insisted he wasn't serious, and he was just teasing me. Again, I know him well enough to know this was his MO with everybody - family, friends, employees. But it didn't stop me from feeling like, "This guy is kind of an arrogant asshole." I can't read his mind, but I'm pretty sure that I was one of many people who he felt didn't properly appreciate all he had done for them.
 
So I could actually argue this either way, emotionally. I could argue it made the relationship possible, because it gave him the sense of inequality and dominance I think he needed. Or I could argue it made the relationship impossible, because it gave him the sense of inequality and dominance I think he needed. Eventually I just paid him off, cleared the liens, and ended the "business" part of our relationship with a sense of relief.
 
Part of the way I look back on my time as an escort is this. I have a sense of humility, gratitude, and grace that even though I am just a whore, I was able to touch certain people's lives in a meaningful way, that helped them to discover or express something about themselves. You were one of those people. I really enjoyed the days when I'd fly to NYC, then hop on one train at one train station and go see you, and then come back to NYC and hop on another train at another train station and go see a handsome and well built lawyer, who was younger, smarter, more successful, and probably more kind than me. His coming out story was interesting, and he just needed someone to hold his hand and make him feel confident as a Gay man. Within a few years he was married to an equally hot man, and he'd show me pictures of them in the slinkiest little speedos, until he just stopped hiring me. You and him were different people, but in both cases there was this sense of being able to touch people, both literally and emotionally, in a way that felt really meaningful. That was true whether that was about a loving man who was longing to get married, or a loving man who was looking to get over the pain of losing his spouse.
 
My point is that with almost everyone I really got to know - you, this other guy, many of the the frequent members of this board - I have this sense of grace. I use the word grace intentionally, because grace refers to a blessing in life that is given freely. For me, emotionally, it flows from the fact that at its core there was something liberating about each relationship, and that it was reciprocal. I was having the time of my life. Using words like "grace" could of course just mean I believe my own bullshit. But I do feel that way. And since this is all very subjective, all that really matters about it is how the people in an intimate relationship feel.
 
So that obviously says more about me than about you, PK. But it is meant to be a compliment of you, personally, because you did in fact make my life richer. And I don't mean it was about the money. Ironically, and perhaps sadly, one of the people who I feel that way about least is the person who did the most to look out for my financial well being. It didn't end badly, for either one of us. I guess I could say I got what I wanted out of the bargain. I'm not 100 % sure he felt the same way.
 
I guess my advice if you do this is this. If you are going to build a relationship with all kinds of strings attached, you are going to have to work hard to make sure the other person in the relationship does not feel like there are all kinds of strings attached. For the reasons maninsoma said, I could see how something relating to being a life insurance policy beneficiary could create all kinds of doubts and questions about trust, and even flat out resentment.
 
So, bottom line, if you want to do it, I'd say it would be far better to just cash in the policy and spend it, hire by hire, day by day. There are plenty of fish in the sea, after all. And I know how much you like using your pole. Why limit yourself, anyway?

This goes both ways. If you have pets disclose this in advance due to allergies and lock them up. I don’t have allergies but I don’t appreciate cats and dogs around me when I’m getting a massage and worse... when a cat or dog use my clothes as a bed

Ideally when you have the initial contact...text, email or call. If you only do outcalls it is okay to walk out if you do not feel comfortable/safe when you arrive at clients place.
It would be nice if the masseur communicated why he felt the need to leave.
 
I would be curious to hear from masseurs if this is an issue or something they have experienced.