I don't go into a massage session at a spa expecting more than a good massage. Perfectly happy to take a breath, relax and enjoy the massage. I will admit I go into the session hoping that there will be chemistry but it is not an expectation. Also read the body language of the masseur. Sometimes touching is invited. Or not - if there is lots of chatter about his husband or boyfriend, I will likely refrain.
When I go for a massage outside of a spa environment, I usually discuss my expectations of the session with the provider ahead of time to make sure the masseur is comfortable with my requests. (Granted, my needs appear to be pretty vanilla compared with most so that discussion is usually pretty easy!)