The Chisox & Rockies are no longer on pace to break the record for losses, & the Marlins are just about there.

The Sox have been getting a bit more hitting, and Luis Robert should be back in a few weeks.  The Rox have been getting surprisingly competent starting pitching the last few weeks.

NOT ANYMORE...

Dear Abby: I am a middle-aged gay man who has never had any serious relationships. A few months ago, I met a 22-year-old guy. He seemed really sweet and nice, and we had good times when we were together, so I let him use me for money. He played on the feelings I thought I had for him, and I think I still do.

The other night, I caught him lying to me again and went off the deep end. He ended up blocking my number, so I know he’s not getting my text messages. I have called him at least 100 times and it goes straight to voicemail. Must I just chalk it up as “lesson learned” and try to go on? Must he just chalk it up as “lesson learned” and try to go on and find another ‘mark’ who won’t turn into a stalker?

I doubt I will ever forget him. A lobotomy might help. I know I need to go on with my life. He’s in my head right now and it’s difficult. A lobotomy might help. If it were to happen, I can’t go back to him the way we were. Although this may sound stupid and immature, I think I fell in love with him. I’m not sure. He hurt me badly because I let him use me. Thank you for any advice you can offer. — Tricked in Tennessee

Dear Tricked: I’m sorry you’re hurting but, yes, you should chalk this up as a lesson learned. You stated you’ve never had a serious relationship. If you would like to pursue one, meeting someone closer to your age with whom you have more in common would be beneficial. Check in at your nearest LGBTQ community center and sign up for an activity or event and you may meet someone. you are too stupid and gullible to be in a relationship. A lobotomy might help. I wish you luck.

Dear Abby: I am a caregiver for my elderly diabetic mother and my disabled husband, who is an alcoholic and also epileptic. Every single household responsibility falls on me — cleaning, upkeep, shopping, driving, food preparation, etc. My mother refuses to eat right for her medical condition. It’s a daily struggle. I keep everything on hand to make it easy for her, but I still have to beg and plead.

I am not well. I have several autoimmune diseases that zap my strength. I love my mom and my husband, but this has taken every bit of joy from my life. My mother doesn’t have dementia — she’s very aware of what she is doing.

As for my husband, his love for me will never come close to his love of alcohol. He is never abusive, but I have never felt so overwhelmed and alone at the same time. There are no siblings to help, and my children live out of state. Do you have any suggestions on how to keep what is left of my sanity? — Overworked in Virginia

Dear Overworked: Yes, I do, but you may not like what I have to say. It’s time to quit trying to “save” your mother and your husband from the fates they have chosen. Your mother is an adult and in possession of her faculties. Let her assume responsibility for herself and her treatment. (Or not — also her choice.)

As to your husband’s alcoholism, join Al-Anon and start attending meetings. Only he can fix his drinking problem IF HE WANTS TO. In fact, you should accelerate the inevitable…

KILL THE BITCH
 

AND
 

KILL THE BASTARD!

Ruining your health trying to help people who don’t want to be helped may be well-intentioned, but it is also misguided.

1 hour ago, WilliamM said:

What was the source of this Article

https://theathletic.com/5458004/2024/04/29/the-uniforms-nightmare-will-come-to-an-end-masyn-winns-constant-energy/

On 4/30/2024 at 1:34 AM, samhexum said:

Kosher-adjacent?

3 hours ago, Monarchy79 said:

“Kosher Adjacent”?

That sounds like a newfound term created by Gweneth Paltrow….. 

Only if the bitch plagiarized moi.

11 minutes ago, purplekow said:

I would willingly eat any of the combinations I mentioned from my childhood, while I would not touch that Ohio offering.    

😁😍😋😊😊😋😍😁

11 minutes ago, purplekow said:

Also SamHexum, tube-iquitous is more of a portmanteau than a pun.  The relish statement is a pun, but in reality, it is not a good pun.  

😥😭😓😰😰😓😭😥

@pubic_assistance has died and gone to heaven!

Hot dogs are so hot right now: NYC invaded by bizarre new wiener cocktails, 65-foot franken-sculpture

Hot dogs have never been hotter.

Indeed, these tube-iquitous (I LOVE A GOOD PUN!) treats certainly seem to be everywhere in New York City nowadays, from ice cream to streets — a so-called “toxically masculine” 65-foot wiener installment was erected in Times Square last week.

As folks begin to relish (I LOVE A GOOD PUN!) the frankfurter phenomenon, newly opened Williamsburg rooftop bar LilliStar is offering its own spin on Gotham’s quintessential tube steak — a boutique “hot dog cocktail.” Yes, you read that right.

On 5/1/2024 at 6:18 PM, ShortCutie7 said:

I know lots of people who keep kosher at home but will eat in non-kosher restaurants, though that’s not the same concept as the aforementioned kosher-style 😛

We did NOT keep kosher, but I remember that when I was little, we weren't allowed to bring McDonalds into the house, though we could eat there.  I never asked for an explanation, but I think it had to do with cheese on burgers.

Dear Abby: My husband had an affair. I found out after seeing a motel charge on our bank account. I asked, and he confessed that it was with an old school sweetheart. I asked how long it was going on. He said two years. He then called her and told her I knew. He told me he had told her if I ever found out, it was over for them.

When I got on the phone with her, she said he was lying, and their affair had been going on for 20 years! WHO IS THE BIGGER MORON — HIM, FOR TELLING YOU THINGS SHE WOULD CONTRADICT, OR YOU FOR NOT IMMEDIATELY WALKING OUT THE DOOR? He invited her to his mom’s visitation when she passed. He invited her to other things as well. Now she no longer wants him because he is a liar UNLIKE THE UPSTANDING DUDE HE’D ALWAYS BEEN WHILST A-SCREWIN’ HER? and he expects me to go back to the way it was. I don’t know if there’s time to go through it all — he also had an affair with someone at his work. He said it was a one-nighter. Who knows? WHO CARES? GET THE FUCK OUT!

I’m having so much trouble with this and all the things they did together. My husband didn’t do anything with me — he skipped funerals, weddings and engagements. YOU WERE AN OBLIVIOUS DOORMAT FOR YEARS. IT HAPPENS. GET THE FUCK OUT! I was going everywhere alone. People always asked where he was, and I always had to say “working.” AND BEHIND YOUR BACK THEY HAD TO SAY SHE’S AN OBLIVIOUS DOORMAT. SHE SHOULD GET THE FUCK OUT!

The way things are now is not comfortable. YOU HAVE A GIFT FOR HYPERBOLE! He doesn’t care. He just wants his way and to not let anyone else in the family know. CAN YOU AFFORD TO RENT A BILLBOARD? It’s been two years and it’s still fresh in my mind. I don’t know what to do. KILL THE BASTARD! Counseling hasn’t helped. He wants me to forget everything. I’m going crazy. How do you trust after that? GO ALL LORENA BOBBIT ON HIM! — Lost Faith in Missouri

Dear Lost Faith: You are not crazy. You are married to a lying, narcissistic womanizer. For you to “forget everything” might require OBVIOUSLY HAD a lobotomy. Are you willing to do ADMIT that? (Don’t answer too quickly; some people would rather do anything than be alone.)

I think it would benefit you to discuss this with a licensed mental health professional HITMAN YOU FIND ON THE DARK WEB. TALK with your friends and your family as well. You need all the support they can give you ADVICE ON HOW TO KILL THE BASTARD! Your husband has plenty to be ashamed about NEEDS TO SUFFER!

A marriage without trust is no marriage at all. If you were to separate, your life would not be much different than it already is. It might even be better. From what you have written, you have already been alone for a very long time AN OBLIVIOUS DOORMAT FOR YEARS. IT HAPPENS. KILL THE BASTARD AND GET THE FUCK OUT! 

Dear Abby: Ever since our daughter moved out, married and had children, she has become a different person. She doesn’t treat my wife like a mom. They used to be close, but now it seems my wife can’t do anything right. She can’t post pictures of the grandkids when others can, and she can’t hug or kiss her grandkids when others can. When asked what she did to be treated this way, my daughter responds, “I don’t know.”

My wife wants to be a typical grandma and love, spoil and have a relationship with the grandkids, but she keeps being pushed away. I have had it to my wits’ end with my daughter because when my wife hurts, so do I. I’m ready to write her off and move on. What are we to do? — Frustrated Grandparents

Dear Frustrated: Your daughter may fear that her children will love Grandma more than they do her. You might ask your daughter if she would be open to family counseling, but don’t be surprised if she isn’t. If I’m right about that, then your idea about moving on and finding other interests with your wife to fill that empty space isn’t a bad one.

If she craves being around little children and needs to fill the time, perhaps she could volunteer for a program such as Foster Grandparents, in which volunteers work as aides in schools, day care centers, Head Start programs and family support centers. To find out more about them, visit americorps.gov. 

IS A BITCH. OR SHE’S REPRESSING YOUR WIFE’S ABUSE WHEN SHE WAS GROWING UP. EITHER WAY, IT’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM. CUT THE KID OUT OF THE WILL AND SPEND HER INHERITANCE LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE.

Dear Abby: I am allergic to a wide range of scents — perfume, cologne, laundry detergent, etc. When I am caught in someone’s cloud, my sinuses and lungs burn, which causes instant wheezing and coughing.

My husband’s friend bathes himself in a scent akin to household cleansing powder. It’s so strong, both of us can smell it in our house for more than a week after he visits. I avoid that friend like the plague and hide at the other end of the house, doors shut, yet I still suffer an allergic reaction. Forgive my being graphic, but his caustic scent gives me a bloody nose.

My husband refuses to tell his friend about the health problems I suffer after his visits. He doesn’t want to make him feel unwelcome or upset him by being “rude.” What about ME? I can’t go near the upholstered furniture the friend sits on for well over a week.

There’s no reason in the world why I should suffer in my own home. I’m afraid I’m going to explode in rage the next time he visits, embarrassing all involved. Could you please advise me how to tell the friend he stinks without being rude? –Suffering in California

Dear Suffering: It isn’t a breach of etiquette to tell someone you have an allergy problem you have been hesitant to discuss for fear of seeming rude. Call the friend BEFORE his next visit and explain that one of the products he is using causes you to have an allergic reaction that results in bloody noses. Then ask that he please not wear it when he’s in your home. This may be a conversation that’s uncomfortable for you, but to have it is essential.
THIS BLOWS! 

IT REALLY STINKS! 

IT MAKES NO SCENTS THAT HE DOES THAT. 

DO YOU THINK HE NOSE HOW STRONG IT IS?

SERIOUSLY, IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT, OPEN THE DOOR WEARING A HAZMAT SUIT AND GAS MASK AND SPRAYING A CAN OF LYSOL WITH EACH HAND NEXT TIME HE VISITS.

3 minutes ago, Typical said:

Back as “Ale” on Masseurfinder. Danger. Danger. Danger.  Don’t engage.  

https://www.aol.com/news/homeless-woman-living-inside-michigan-165735135.html

Homeless woman was living inside Michigan rooftop store sign with computer and coffee maker

Contractors curious about an extension cord on the roof of a Michigan grocery store made a startling discovery: A 34-year-old woman was living inside the business sign, with enough space for a computer, printer and coffee maker, police said.

“She was homeless,” Officer Brennon Warren of the Midland Police Department said Thursday. “It's a story that makes you scratch your head, just somebody living up in a sign.”

The woman, whose name was not released, told police she had a job elsewhere but had been living inside the Family Fare sign for roughly a year, Warren said. She was found April 23.

The store is in a retail strip with a triangle-shaped sign at the top of the building. The sign structure, probably 5 feet wide and 8 feet high, has a door and is accessible from the roof.

“There was some flooring that was laid down. A mini desk,” he said. “Her clothing. A Keurig coffee maker. A printer and a computer — things you'd have in your home.”

The woman was able to get electricity through a power cord plugged into an outlet on the roof, Warren said.

There was no sign of a ladder. Warren said it's possible the woman made her way to the roof by climbing up elsewhere behind the store or other retail businesses.

"I honestly don't know how she was getting up there. She didn't indicate, either," he said.

A spokesperson for SpartanNash, the parent company of Family Fare, said store employees responded “with the utmost compassion and professionalism.”

“Ensuring there is ample safe, affordable housing continues to be a widespread issue nationwide that our community needs to partner in solving,” Adrienne Chance said, declining further comment.

Warren said the woman was cooperative and quickly agreed to leave. No charges were pursued.

“We provided her with some information about services in the area,” the officer said. “She apologized and continued on her way. Where she went from there, I don't know.”

The director of a local nonprofit that provides food and shelter assistance said Midland — which has a population 42,000 — needs more housing for low-income residents.

“From someone who works with the homeless, part of me acknowledges she was really resourceful,” said Saralyn Temple of Midland's Open Door. “Obviously, we don't want people resorting to illegal activity to find housing. There are much better options.”

Swanson's on the IL with a knee sprain.  Perhaps @deej can run his fingers through Dansby's hair to make him feel better.

6 minutes ago, BOZO T CLOWN said:

Greer Garson

How proud she would have been of her son Willie's career.

Lecy Goranson wrote last night's episode. She wrote one episode in season four; the one about gun violence. And she was credited for the storyline for an episode in season two.

Good boy Heroic police dog rescues missing woman, 85, clinging to tree in Colorado ravine

He deserves a round of a-paws.