samhexum

The Twinkies had part of another bro set before they traded lefty Taylor Rogers to SD, where he's competing against righty twin brother Tyler of the Giants. I'd say birthin' two big leaguers at once trumps Mrs. Megill's feat... with bonus points added for the righty/lefty thing. Yeah, but Arenado's cuter... especially now that Reitz has been dead for 13+ months.

Family beef is sizzling over the future of the iconic New York grocery store chain Western Beef. In 2020, the founder of Western Beef, Peter Castellanas Sr., died from COVID-19. During his life, he was charged and found guilty of many mob-related crimes, among them selling adulterated meat, defrauding the government in a stolen food stamps scheme, committing bankruptcy fraud, lying to the Securities and Exchange Commission and extortion (for having meat suppliers threatened with bone breakage over a debt), according to Curbed. Now, his grandson, Peter III, who was until recently Western Beef’s CEO, is attempting to take the company in a new direction. He hopes to cash in on skyrocketing land prices in the boroughs by razing his family’s stores and developing luxury residential buildings in their place. He shuttered seven Western Beef stores to build projects like the Astor in Long Island City, where rent is roughly $5,000 per month for a two-bedroom unit. In The Bronx, he teamed up with a developer to create a nine-story, 159-mixed-unit development. “I had a business plan, all the numbers worked out,” he told Curbed. “I had some of the best economical minds available to me.” But his father and Western Beef board chairman Peter Jr. — who grew up in the family business, building it into a $300 million chain with 20 stores and 2 million square feet of real estate in the New York area — has a bone to pick with his son. “I just want to get our business back,” he told the magazine. “This is my baby. This is what I live for.” He has since relieved his son of his position and halted the redevelopment projects. “[They] offered us big, big money for the real estate,” Peter Jr. said of a Western Beef near the Marcy Projects. “They wanted to put huge condominiums over there, like they’re doing in the whole area.” He’s not having it. But Peter the younger isn’t done “steaking” out his territory. He’s since launched a real estate firm that manages more than 25 mixed-use developments and Western Beef properties. He plans to target Western Beef stores and other businesses in areas like Carroll Gardens and The Bronx for redevelopment going forward.

Mike Hagerty, ‘Somebody, Somewhere’ actor, dies Character actor Mike Hagerty — who memorably played roles on “Friends” and the series “Somebody, Somewhere” — has died. He was 67. His cause of death has not been revealed, though a statement from his “Somebody, Somewhere” co-star Bridget Everett was shared on social media. “With great sadness, the family of Michael G. Hagerty announced his death yesterday in Los Angeles,” Everett posted on Instagram Friday. In her tribute, Everett called Hagerty “a beloved character actor, his love of his hometown of Chicago and his family were the cornerstones of his life.” “Mike, a devoted husband, is survived by his wife Mary Kathryn, his sister Mary Ann Hagerty [and] her wife Kathleen O’Rourke, and their daughter Meg. He will be sorely missed,” she wrote. Hagerty was best known for playing building superintendent Mr. Treeger on “Friends.”

He has a real cousin on the Twins as well.

Dear Abby: I have a daughter, “Molly,” who is in her late 30s. Her father and I divorced when she was an infant, and I raised her, with help from my family, until I remarried. Her father had visitation and paid child support, but that’s where it ended. Throughout Molly’s life, I have taken care of all medical expenses, extracurricular activities, etc., and I sacrificed so she could have what she needed. The problem I’m having is that she treats me badly, while her father, his family, her husband’s family and members of my family are put on a pedestal. The disrespectful way she talks to me and her superior attitude have sent me into depression. She doesn’t answer texts or return my phone calls unless she feels like it or wants something. There’s the possibility that I’ll be coming into some money soon, and I have been thinking about changing my will and not leaving her anything. I am seeing a therapist to figure out why I can’t tell her how much her words and actions hurt me. I love Molly very much, but I don’t like her. Shouldn’t she be the one in therapy to figure out why she treats me this way? — Mistreated Mom in Georgia Dear Mom: People don’t usually seek therapy unless they are hurting, as you are. Don’t waste your time waiting for her to seek help for something she doesn’t think is a problem. Your daughter is fine with the status quo because you haven’t drawn the line and demanded to be treated with consideration. I don’t know if she’s aware that you are about to come into money, but when she finds out, you may discover she has a sudden change of attitude. If the money comes through, I hope you will spend that windfall on things you enjoy — travel, cultural events, all the activities you missed out on while sacrificing for Molly. You deserve it; she doesn’t. Please tell your therapist I said so. I’m quite sure your therapist will agree. IF YOUR THERAPIST HAS ANY DEGREE OF COMPETENCY SHE'LL HELP OPEN YOUR EYES TO THE OVERBEARING, NEEDY PERSON YOU MOST LIKELY ARE, WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN WHY YOUR POOR DAUGHTER APPEARS TO HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN YOU ! (OR JUST KILL THE BITCH!) Dear Abby: I renovated and moved into my girlfriend’s house a year ago, to the tune of $80,000. We have been together 12 years and agreed that although neither of us wants to remarry, we should stop paying two mortgages because we are nearing retirement and should save money.Your stories live here.Fuel your hometown passion and plug into the stories that define it.She has an old cat that is peeing all over the house. She says, “What do you want me to do about it?” I’m asking her to help me figure something out, but after more than a year of dealing with her cat peeing on everything from my children’s beds to the carpets, nothing has changed. What can I say to get through to her that this is ruining our home and potentially getting people sick? I can’t have guests over because of the smell. Dear Frustrated: You and your girlfriend should discuss this with the cat’s veterinarian to find out if the animal’s behavior is age-related and can’t be controlled or a behavioral problem that can be corrected. Please don’t wait to do it! You have my sympathy. TELL HER THE BENEFITS OF HER PUSSY DON'T OUTWEIGH THE PROBLEMS WITH HER PUSSY. (OR JUST KILL THE BITCH!)

The Twins' recent call-up, Juan Miranda, has a cousin who's some kind of big deal in the theater world. Nauseating loss for the Phillies tonight (or thrilling win for the Mets, depending on your perspective) Steve Cohen wanted to thank fans with partial season ticket plans for staying with them after the lockout, so they're all getting vouchers for 2 free tix.

I didn't know whether to post this here, or in the 'Poor @JoeMendoza' thread... Garcelle Beauvais: Whoopi Goldberg was ‘cringeworthy’ during my ‘View’ audition Garcelle Beauvais looks back on her 2015 audition for “The View” — as well as Whoopi Goldberg’s “cringeworthy” behavior — in her new memoir, “Love Me as I Am.” “I was shocked and appalled to see how testy Whoopi was with the show’s producers,” the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star, 55, writes. “I was embarrassed and disappointed, to say the least. It was cringeworthy!” Beauvais was asked to try out for a co-host position in the wake of Rosie O’Donnell’s exit from the ABC series. The model-turned-actress jumped at the chance to potentially fulfill her dream of becoming a talk show personality. “Here I was the eager new kid in class and I ran smack dab into the reality of an uninviting workplace,” she recalls in her book, describing her interactions with Goldberg, Rosie Perez and Nicole Wallace.Enlarge Ima “There was a brief nonchalant recognition that I was the co-host up to bat that week. No greetings or welcoming niceties, just a hey and they continued on with the [top-of-the-morning] meeting [with producers]. Okay.” Beauvais thought she did “pretty well” on camera but couldn’t be sure as “nobody” talked to her afterward or provided any feedback. “The energy was cold, unfriendly and standoffish,” she remembers. “The atmosphere was so opposite to my friendly nature and definitely not what I had expected or hoped for.” Beauvais felt as through Goldberg, now 66, Perez, 57, and Wallace, 50, “contradicted” most of what she said on the show, so she switched up her strategy. Instead of giving her opinions too quickly, Beauvais “would just settle for piggybacking on whatever that said” — but, as she notes, “that didn’t work either.”rge Image In the middle of making a point, Beauvais claims that Perez kicked her leg underneath the table: “It was a shut-the-f—k-up-bitch, you’re-talking-too-much signal kick!” Later, off camera, Beauvais says Perez, “in her Brooklyn pitch,” told her, “‘Girl, you know, I just wanted you to know that you needed to be quiet. I thought you were gonna go on too long. You know, we have a system here and we know when the other one is about to talk. So I just wanted to stop you from talking too much.’” Beauvais then thought to herself, “What kind of system is that where grown women kick each other like f—king mules? Was this a new type of morse code or something? GTFOOH!” The Bravolebrity — who went on to co-host “The Real” for some time — ultimately decided that the job was “not for [her],” she writes. Enlarge ImagBeauvais explained to Page Six on Tuesday why she wanted to include the anecdote in “Love Me as I Am.” “Because it happened! I’m not making this s–t up, you know what I mean?” she said with a laugh at “RHOBH” co-star Sutton Stracke’s “Cashmere & Caviar” party in West Hollywood. “If these stories happened and it’s my memoir, then I’m talking about it. It was unfortunate because I’m still such a fan and even still record the show.” She added, “I love what they do. I think they’re smart, and I love the cast, especially now. I think Sunny [Hostin]’s great.” Beauvais clarified that she thinks Goldberg is great, too — especially after they reunited to work together on “Caught in His Web,” a 2022 Lifetime movie starring Beauvais and executive produced by Goldberg. Enlarge Image“I got reintroduced to Whoopi, and I think sometimes you don’t get a second chance like that. Sometimes you have to be open for a reintroduction,” she said of reconnecting with the EGOT winner. “She’s an icon. And I get that. I would never take away from her in terms of what she was able to do in the industry way before a lot of us. So kudos to her for that.” Beauvais said she also made sure to give Goldberg a heads-up about what she wrote in her memoir. “Of course I addressed it with Whoopi. She didn’t remember,” she told us. “But I told her because I didn’t want to go into the film like I was bamboozling her. That’s not my thing. So it was important that she knew that was in my book. We’re all good now.” Enlarge IStill, Beauvais — who has yet to reestablish contact with Perez (who is busy with her new career as a FLIGHT ATTENDANT) — told us that another audition for “The View” and a subsequent move to New York City are out of the question. “My kids live here [in Los Angeles],” said the mom of three, whose eldest son, Oliver, 31, resides in Las Vegas, while her twins, Jax and Jaid, 14, are local. “They’re in middle school, going into high school, and I don’t want to miss these years for anything in the world. There would have to be a crazy job for me to move.” Now that “The Real” is over (stay strong, JoeMendoza!) , Beauvais wouldn’t mind hosting a talk show of her own from the West Coast. “That’s what I want more than anything — either late-night, daytime, any of it,” she said. “I would bring my authenticity, my realness and also my curiosity about people. I just love talking to people — and not just celebrities. Celebrities, we already know a little bit about what they’re like. I want to talk to real people.” https://pagesix.com/2022/05/05/garcelle-beauvais-whoopi-cringeworthy-during-view-audition/

Ousted “Fall of the House of Usher” actor Frank Langella has more than a few choice words for Netflix. Langella was axed from the upcoming show following allegations of sexual misconduct levied against the four-time Tony Award-winner. Responding to Netflix, which chose to part ways with Langella after an investigation into claims of “unacceptable behavior” on set, Langella penned an open letter Thursday on Deadline decrying his forced departure. “I have been canceled. Just like that,” the 84-year-old thespian began in a lengthy statement. “In the increasing madness that currently pervades our industry, I could not have imagined that the words collateral damage would fall upon my shoulders. They have brought with them a weight I had not expected to bear in the closing decades of my career. And along with it has come an unanticipated sense of grave danger,” he continued. The “madness” to which he’s referring is not international conflict or a deadly pandemic — but apparently “cancel culture,” which he labeled “the antithesis of democracy.” Langella wrote that the “glorious role” — one he thought would be his “last hurrah,” as Roderick Usher in Edgar Allan Poe’s classic, was taken away from him “by Netflix for what they determined to be unacceptable behavior on set.” The controversy prompted the “Frost/Nixon” actor to hire “crisis managers” and legal experts to be “professionally sympathetic at $800 per hour” — all of whom instructed him: “Apologize. Apologize. Apologize.” He goes on to recount the alleged misconduct. “On March 25 of this year, I was performing a love scene with the actress playing my young wife. Both of us were fully clothed. I was sitting on a couch, she was standing in front of me. The director called cut. ‘He touched my leg,’ said the actress. ‘That was not in the blocking.’ She then turned and walked off the set, followed by the director and the intimacy coordinator. I attempted to follow, but was asked to ‘give her some space.’ I waited for approximately one hour, and was then told she was not returning to set and we were wrapped,” Langella explained. By his own admission, according to the piece, Langella ignored instruction by the set’s intimacy coordinator regarding where he should place his hands on his co-star during the scene — instruction he calls “absurd.” “It was a love scene on camera. Legislating the placement of hands, to my mind, is ludicrous. It undermines instinct and spontaneity,” he argued. A representative from human resources reportedly instructed Langella to refrain from trying to contact “the young lady,” the intimacy coordinator or anyone else at Netflix, telling him they “don’t want to risk retaliation,” he claimed. Begging that they understand his hand misplacement wasn’t his “intention,” the rep reportedly said: “Intention is not our concern. Netflix deals only with impact.” The Oscar-nominated actor said that he hoped his next role would be “his last hurrah” — before being fired for alleged inappropriate behavior. Langella then prefaced the allegations by characterizing his on-set demeanor as “light and friendly.” “Nevertheless, these were some of the allegations: 1. ‘He told an off-color joke.’ 2. ‘Sometimes he called me baby or honey.’ 3. ‘He’d give me a hug or touch my shoulder,’ ” he wrote. But a producer reportedly told Langella he “cannot do that.” “You can’t joke. You can’t compliment. You can’t touch. It’s a new order,” Langella said he was instructed. The “Diary of a Mad Housewife” star pivoted his message to call the media’s initial portrayal of events “demonstrably false … a total lie.” According to Langella’s Deadline story, a number of details in TMZ’s initial report on the incident last month were removed or otherwise “corrected” on the site, reportedly including the removal of the name of the actress in question. By April 14, Langella was “fired,” without “a hearing,” he contended, adding that his request for a “one-on-one” with his accuser “was denied,” and directors and producers “stopped answering” his messages. A full press release and notice to cast and crew was sent out “within 30 minutes” of Langella’s expulsion, he claimed. The “impact” it has on his career is “incalculable,” he insisted. “I lost a thrilling part, the chance at future earnings, and perhaps face a stretch of unemployment,” he lamented — adding that he’s also “yet to be fully remunerated” for the three months of shooting he’d already completed. “Most importantly, my reputation has been tarnished,” Langella asserted. “These indignities are, to my mind, the real definition of unacceptable behavior,” Langella continued. “Cancel culture is the antithesis of democracy. It inhibits conversation and debate. It limits our ability to listen, mediate, and exchange opposing views. Most tragically, it annihilates moral judgment.” In conclusion, he declared: “This is not fair. This is not just. This is not American.Late last month, series creator Mike Flanagan (“The Haunting of Hill House”) announced that Langella was replaced by “Star Trek” film actor and “dear friend” Bruce Greenwood. The eight-episode miniseries, the release date of which has not yet been announced, will also see appearances by Mark Hamill, Carla Gugino (“Gerald’s Game”), Mary McDonnell (“Major Crimes”), Carl Lumbly (“Cagney & Lacey”), Henry Thomas (“E.T.”), Samantha Sloyan (“Midnight Mass”), Zach Gilford (“Friday Night Lights”), Katie Parker (“Absentia”), Michael Trucco (“Battlestar Galactica”), Robert Longstreet (“Septien”) and Annabeth Gish (“The X-Files”). https://nypost.com/2022/05/05/frank-langella-slams-his-firing-cancel-culture-as-not-american/ I do kind of feel a little sorry for all these older actors who can't adjust to a new world that is so alien to them. Funny how there don't seem to be a lot of older actresses having the same problem. I haven't heard one actor say that Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, or Maggie Smith had put her hand on his crotch.

Well give it back! He's probably been looking for it everywhere.

I was reminded by an article yesterday of another reason to hate the owners for the lockout... Tyler was traded (for basically nothing) to open up a spot on the 40 man roster to protect a minor leaguer in the rule 5 draft... which was cancelled due to the @!%*ing lockout! I still haven't watched an inning this year, though I'm reading articles & watching highlights... SO... This Aaron Judge home run turned into one very uplifting moment. Judge’s sixth-inning long-ball in the traveled 427 feet into the upper deck at Rogers Centre in Toronto on Tuesday night during the Yankees’ 9-1 win over the Blue Jays. It was quickly picked up by a fan wearing Blue Jays gear — who almost immediately turned around and offered it to a youngster seated behind him wearing a Judge T-shirt. The feel-good moment — shown the Blue Jays’ Sportsnet broadcast — didn’t stop there. The young Yankees fan teared up at the gesture and hugged who we can only assume is a new friend for life. “There are Yankee fans all around the world that are passionate about the game,’’Judge said after the game of the heart-warming moment he didn’t see live. “He’s starting out the right way.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eqto63A82yE

There's a couple of "good" puns at today's thefarside.com

Hand out, palm up, awaiting payment

I FEEL LIKE A BROKEN RECORD (YOUNGER READERS GOOGLE WHAT A RECORD IS) DEAR ABBY: A year ago, when I discovered my husband’s porn videos and naked pictures of his ex-girlfriends, he assured me he would delete them. It has been a year, and he still hasn’t done it. When I mention it, he claims he doesn’t look at them and doesn’t have time to delete them. I ask him to be honest with me about if he intends to keep them, but he insists he “will” delete them. It makes me believe he has an emotional attachment to these women. How should I continue to deal with this issue? — HE’S GOT A WIFE NOW DEAR WIFE: Your husband may be less emotionally attached to the ex-girlfriends than titillated by their pictures. From what you have written, your husband isn’t being completely honest with you. And THAT is the issue you should be dealing with, with the help of a licensed counselor, because solid marriages are based on trust, and there can’t be trust without honesty. KILL THE BASTARD! DEAR ABBY: Our 24-year-old daughter is dating a 28-year-old divorced man who has two kids. Her father is very upset about it and refuses to meet him. The reason is the children. We both think they will be a burden to our daughter and she will eventually have problems with his ex-wife. How can we tell her we don’t accept him without pushing her away or making her break up with him? She doesn’t live with us. — SAD IN FLORIDA DEAR SAD: At 24, your daughter is an adult. At this point, she should have achieved enough independence to decide — without coercion — with whom she wants to be romantically involved. I do not advise refusing to meet the man she cares about because it may be counterproductive. Children from prior relationships do not necessarily cause problems, and not all ex-spouses fly around on brooms causing trouble. You and your husband should make an effort to get to know him and, if you see red flags afterward, point them out then. KILL THE BASTARD! DEAR ABBY: I’m a front desk clerk at a hotel where a regular guest has stayed for years. We have become acquainted as we’re both retired teachers and each have written books. When she told me she could no longer afford to stay at the hotel, I offered her my spare bedroom to use on occasion, and she calls at least once a month to stay here. My husband is over it. The whole evening revolves around this woman. Since I have gotten to know her better, I have realized she’s very self-centered. She barely thanks us for her stay, although we include her in our dinner plans and she eats breakfast here as well. I’m a softy and I have used various excuses to stop this. Any suggestions for me, a coward, to call a halt to her inviting herself to my house for the night? — SOFTY IN THE SOUTH DEAR SOFTY: Yes. Quit making excuses and tell her almost all of the truth, which is that your husband is “over it” and therefore she will have to make other plans. Period. KILL THE BITCH!

David Birney-Baxter, 83, after a 5 year battle with Alzheimer's.

A former friend I used to travel with hit 120 MPH on a highway in France (as we passed signs for EuroDisney). This frightened the heck out of me until I took the wheel and did the same.

The Chicago Bears and quarterback Nick Foles their most well-hung player have agreed to part ways. His agent confirmed the move on Saturday, and he was officially released on Sunday.According to NFL Network's Mike Garafolo, the Bears hadn't been able to find a trade partner for Foles (because he couldn't FIT IN anywhere?), so they decided to release him so he could control where he goes next. Foles made eight starts over two seasons with the Bears. He was originally supposed to compete with Mitch Trubisky for the starting position, but neither player performed well. The move ended up being an expensive mistake, which was clear once the Bears acquired two new quarterbacks before the 2021 season. Foles may have the resume of a journeyman QB, but his name dick is sacrosanct in Philly. He started his career with the Philadelphia Eagles in 2012, returning to the team in 2017 to back up Carson Wentz. That turned out to be a history-making move, as he stepped in as the starter after Wentz tore his ACL. He led the Eagles all the way to Super Bowl LII, where they beat the New England Patriots to win their first-ever Super Bowl. Foles called for the gutsy Philly Special, an all-time great Super Bowl play, and was named MVP Big Dick Nick. The Bears were Foles' second team since he left the Eagles in 2018. He signed a four-year deal with the Jacksonville Jaguars in early 2019, but broke his clavicle in the first quarter of his first start when he tripped over his dick. He returned in Week 11, but would start just two more times before being benched for Gardner Minshew, who had started in Foles' absence. Where Foles lands next is up to him. His stint with the Jags pretty much ended any illusion that he's a starting quarterback, and his time in Chicago didn't do much to boost his stock as a backup. But his experience dick could still make him an attractive option as teams begin to ramp up for the regular season.

Dear Abby: For more than 20 years, my mother-in-law has shown blatant favoritism toward my husband’s younger brother. Several people, including her own mother and my father-in-law, have tried to discuss it with her, but she refuses. My husband has accepted that there is nothing he can do to change her behavior. Abby, she has recently, on the rare occasions we see her (once every three to four years), started making snide comments, implying she’s “concerned,” regarding the intellect of our children, one of whom is in an AP program. While my husband accepts her lack of love for him and would never cease contact with her, I find her difficult to be around because she is just plain cruel. I would like to discourage her from visiting us in the future. Am I wrong to feel as I do? — Proud Wife and Mom Dear Proud: No. By all means keep your mother-in-law away from the grandchildren, because even though she sees them rarely, she’ll likely find some way to make them feel “less than.” If you thought someone was tainting their food, you wouldn’t stand by and watch. Well, the same is true if someone is attempting to lower their self-esteem with snide comments. KILL THE BITCH! (I seem to be offering that advice a lot lately.) Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for 35 years. Five years ago, he lost the ability to perform sexually. I admit it hasn’t been a priority since I’ve gotten older and have some health issues. We have figured out other ways to enjoy each other. The problem is, he makes ugly comments about our lack of intimacy as if it’s my fault he can’t perform. The comments are hurtful and cause me to not want to do anything. It seems he can turn any remark I make about something into one about sex, and my feelings are often hurt. One minute he’s saying how he wouldn’t change anything about our life together, and the next he’s saying something mean. I’m at a loss about what to do. It’s almost like he’s two different people. I dread nighttime because that’s when it starts. Any ideas? — Extremely Frustrated Dear Frustrated: Your husband may be embarrassed, angry and frustrated that he can no longer perform, and he’s projecting all of that onto you. He could also be starting to “lose it.” I assume you have expressed to him how hurtful his remarks are. Now it’s time to discuss this with your family physician, who knows your husband better than I do. KILL THE BASTARD! (REALLY?!? People need to write in for common sense advice?) Dear Abby: Under what circumstances is it socially acceptable to read a stranger’s tattoo? I often admire the beautiful artwork, and one can appreciate that with a quick glance. But nowadays, I often encounter people tattooed with a phrase, a quote or even a whole paragraph on their body. Is it rude to stop, stare and read the tattoo? Should I first ask permission? — Intrigued in St. Louis, Mo. Dear Intrigued: When in doubt, ALWAYS ask permission before ogling. If you don’t, your admiration could be misconstrued, which could get you in trouble, depending upon where the tattoo is located. THAT DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION; IF YOU STOP TO READ DURING SEX, YOUR PARTNER MIGHT FIND THAT RUDE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU CHARGE BY THE HOUR.