youngboldone

Exactly. I'm paying a premium amount, and an escort should be able to deliver the fantasy without having to know what a client looks like beforehand. If they can't, I still contend they are in the wrong business. If I want to be pre-screened and body shamed, I can go on Grindr and Scruff for that. But I don't expect that when someone is asking me to pay them triple digits per hour. I'm a decent looking guy, relatively fit (training for my 6th marathon), and have a killer ass. But I am plagued with body shame and self confidence issues - always have been. An escort wanting to know what I look like ramps up my tension and self doubt, and that's not going to end well for me. So I just move on. But yes, it pisses me off. These prissy, choosy escorts are ruining the profession for everyone else.

Exactly. I'm paying a premium amount, and an escort should be able to deliver the fantasy without having to know what a client looks like beforehand. If they can't, I still contend they are in the wrong business. If I want to be pre-screened and body shamed, I can go on Grindr and Scruff for that. But I don't expect that when someone is asking me to pay them triple digits per hour. I'm a decent looking guy, relatively fit (training for my 6th marathon), and have a killer ass. But I am plagued with body shame and self confidence issues - always have been. An escort wanting to know what I look like ramps up my tension and self doubt, and that's not going to end well for me. So I just move on. But yes, it pisses me off. These prissy, choosy escorts are ruining the profession for everyone else.

Yep:
Thank you Guy for giving us this sandbox to play in. And, as a side comment to Steve’s point around following the money, everyone here should recognize the fact that they’ve never had to stare at a screen full of banner ads. Someone has chosen to forgo a huge amount of money to sustain a platform where free speech is nurtured.
 
And I concur that there will be a big “ahah” moment once the practical challenges of implementing this are realized by the general populace. When your Aunt Mildred is planning her spring garden and Google blocks her search for “seeding young plump tomatoes” because she’s suspected of trafficking and placed on a watch list then she’ll likely not be too enthusiastic about being surveilled. (Especially after being groped by a Federal TSA agent and having her blood pressure medication from Canada seized.)

It's been mentioned by some in this thread that the escort may be asking to ensure that it's not entrapment or LE on the other end. I can certainly understand that mentality, but it can be flipped the other way. When these escorts start asking for my pics, I automatically assume it's a sting out to entrap me! I could lose my job if it got out that I'm engaging in an illegal activity, so I just avoid the risk. And with this FOSTA/SESTA bullshit impending law, the risk seems even greater for clients now. I have always struggled with how explicit to be regarding my expectations for a session. Someone earlier suggested that being explicit could also explain why the escort wanted face pics. But how are you supposed to ask for what you want and clearly articulate what it is you're looking for without being explicit? When there's this amount of money involved, a client wants to make sure he's going to get what he's paying for.

I'd like to take it much further than that and say THANK YOU Guy for sticking up for freedom of speech.
 
https://www.theverge.com/2018/3/23/17155110/craigslist-personal-ads-anti-sex-trafficking-bill
 
Anybody who runs a website is now vulnerable. Whether it's Craiglists personals or Twitter missed connections, it's understandable that many are making a decision to just go silent. That is a sad day for freedom of speech.
 
So every day we get to come to this online community is also a reason to celebrate and be grateful.
 
We haven't stopped being a country governed by the rule of law, judges, and juries. Lawyers can argue whatever they want, and politicians can pass misguided laws. But that doesn't mean rule of law or elections or common sense just goes away.
 
My hope is that we all double down on fierce devotion to freedom of speech. Part of the problem with Backpage is that while they used freedom of speech as a defense, it appears they actually were making millions of dollars in ads involving sex trafficking. I don't see ads like that here. So every day we are practicing and defending freedom of speech, I think the purpose of this forum speaks for itself.
 
My hope is that we also all double down on fierce devotion to fighting sex trafficking. Whether you call it FOSTA or SESTA, the key words in both bills are sex trafficking. The core goals are to stop enabling sex traffickers, and to empower the victims of sex trafficking. It's pretty clear that how we do that is going to get way more complicated for a while. Forget for a minute about "facilitating prostitution." We've now just entered a Twilight Zone were there are AI-based website filters that will try to figure out whether people talking about going to a floral shop or buying a used car online are actually sex traffickers in disguise. The dust hasn't even begun to settle. And at least one company - Recognant - is selling the idea that up to 20,000 words or phrases may be suspect. It's understandable to me why some people or websites might just prefer silence if there are now 20,000 unique ways to sound like a sex trafficker.
 
As a community of predominantly older Gay men, we know more than a little bit about being victims of oppression. We know what it's like to live in a country where the way you want to have consensual sex with other Gay adults is a crime. We know what it's like to live in a country where you can't meet the man of your dreams, fall in love, get married, and have the same legal protections as everyone else. We've been in the victim role a lot. So it's not hard to relate to the victims of sex trafficking. One thing I actually like about the current environment is that every American who goes online is getting an education, like it or not, about how this is a national problem that won't just go away.
 
I think the plain meanings of words and the subtext of words eventually speak for themselves. Ultimately, Backpage could not hide what they were doing. Ultimately, I think the best way to thank Guy is to be what we are: an online community of LGBTQ people of every political persuasion that is passionately for freedom of speech and passionately against sexual oppression and sexual exploitation, including sex trafficking. If Guy ever has to defend this website and this community in front of a judge or jury or the editorial board of The New York Times, I think that is our best defense.
 
Walker1 is right that if you don't defend your freedoms, you lose them.
 
For me today is a day to ground ourselves in being a community that respects each other, has nothing to hide, and has lots to be proud of. I'm drinking to that at Oliver's pool party this weekend. Actually, I may drink to it a lot.
 
Thank you, Guy, for guiding us wisely through this storm. I hope we will have many more parties and reasons to celebrate in the years to come.

Exactly. I'm paying a premium amount, and an escort should be able to deliver the fantasy without having to know what a client looks like beforehand. If they can't, I still contend they are in the wrong business. If I want to be pre-screened and body shamed, I can go on Grindr and Scruff for that. But I don't expect that when someone is asking me to pay them triple digits per hour. I'm a decent looking guy, relatively fit (training for my 6th marathon), and have a killer ass. But I am plagued with body shame and self confidence issues - always have been. An escort wanting to know what I look like ramps up my tension and self doubt, and that's not going to end well for me. So I just move on. But yes, it pisses me off. These prissy, choosy escorts are ruining the profession for everyone else.

It's been mentioned by some in this thread that the escort may be asking to ensure that it's not entrapment or LE on the other end. I can certainly understand that mentality, but it can be flipped the other way. When these escorts start asking for my pics, I automatically assume it's a sting out to entrap me! I could lose my job if it got out that I'm engaging in an illegal activity, so I just avoid the risk. And with this FOSTA/SESTA bullshit impending law, the risk seems even greater for clients now. I have always struggled with how explicit to be regarding my expectations for a session. Someone earlier suggested that being explicit could also explain why the escort wanted face pics. But how are you supposed to ask for what you want and clearly articulate what it is you're looking for without being explicit? When there's this amount of money involved, a client wants to make sure he's going to get what he's paying for.

Absolutely. The escorts I know who screen don't make much and are not the hottest. I know several of the hottest and they make money hand over fist because they treat it like a massage business.....open to all comers. (Did I fit enough puns in?). A lot is racial.
 
Seriously, is this a business or a beauty pageant?
 
OTOH it's totally reasonable that we insist on pre-date verification photos from escorts.

It's been mentioned by some in this thread that the escort may be asking to ensure that it's not entrapment or LE on the other end. I can certainly understand that mentality, but it can be flipped the other way. When these escorts start asking for my pics, I automatically assume it's a sting out to entrap me! I could lose my job if it got out that I'm engaging in an illegal activity, so I just avoid the risk. And with this FOSTA/SESTA bullshit impending law, the risk seems even greater for clients now. I have always struggled with how explicit to be regarding my expectations for a session. Someone earlier suggested that being explicit could also explain why the escort wanted face pics. But how are you supposed to ask for what you want and clearly articulate what it is you're looking for without being explicit? When there's this amount of money involved, a client wants to make sure he's going to get what he's paying for.

Exactly. I'm paying a premium amount, and an escort should be able to deliver the fantasy without having to know what a client looks like beforehand. If they can't, I still contend they are in the wrong business. If I want to be pre-screened and body shamed, I can go on Grindr and Scruff for that. But I don't expect that when someone is asking me to pay them triple digits per hour. I'm a decent looking guy, relatively fit (training for my 6th marathon), and have a killer ass. But I am plagued with body shame and self confidence issues - always have been. An escort wanting to know what I look like ramps up my tension and self doubt, and that's not going to end well for me. So I just move on. But yes, it pisses me off. These prissy, choosy escorts are ruining the profession for everyone else.

All I can say is that my best experiences have come from escorts who do not request my stats. If they do, I move on now.

I hardly think Eric's statement comes from a place of privilege. Anyone who is making $50 or more per hour (which is on the low end of the escort scale and is significantly higher than many degreed professionals such as nurses and teachers) and is still "struggling" is doing so because of issues that are likely self-generated.

Okay, so I reached out to a newbie in my city after doing some research and getting positive feedback from someone who had met him. He wanted to know if I had Venmo, which means he was wanting payment upfront. I feigned ignorance about Venmo. He didn't pursue advance payment, but then he wanted me to send him pics of myself. What the hell? This is the second time this has happened that an escort wanted me to send pics and stats of myself. These guys are in the wrong business!! They need to be on Grindr, not Rentmen! Pisses me off. A shame, too, because he was hot.
 
This hiring thing is becoming more difficult by the day. Just seems like there aren't any authentically skilled escorts out there - just scammers and fakes who only want your money. It's becoming just as much of a hassle as trying to find some action on the apps.

If the escort can't or won't do his job..get another job..

I don’t think I’m naive in wanting every meeting to be a win/win - an experience we both enjoy. My experience is that if one person is unhappy then the other is unlikely to enjoy themselves.
If I walk into the room and the escort is clearly unhappy with what he sees then 1) I did a lousy job of screening HIM, 2) I’m pretty sure I’m going to get the vibe pretty quickly, and, 3) I’m going to decide if we should do each other a favor and terminate the meeting. I've learned the hard way that not doing #3 is going to make a bad situation worse. On a couple of occasions it’s gotten much worse.
 
Yes I know what direction the money flows in but one of the things I want in a session is genuine intimacy and throwing $100 bills at someone isn’t going to change their nature.

Okay, so I reached out to a newbie in my city after doing some research and getting positive feedback from someone who had met him. He wanted to know if I had Venmo, which means he was wanting payment upfront. I feigned ignorance about Venmo. He didn't pursue advance payment, but then he wanted me to send him pics of myself. What the hell? This is the second time this has happened that an escort wanted me to send pics and stats of myself. These guys are in the wrong business!! They need to be on Grindr, not Rentmen! Pisses me off. A shame, too, because he was hot.
 
This hiring thing is becoming more difficult by the day. Just seems like there aren't any authentically skilled escorts out there - just scammers and fakes who only want your money. It's becoming just as much of a hassle as trying to find some action on the apps.

Agree with you two. If we are paying, they should not care. Some other poster here says he sends a pic of $100 bill and says “this is the picture you’re looking for” or similar.

Okay, so I reached out to a newbie in my city after doing some research and getting positive feedback from someone who had met him. He wanted to know if I had Venmo, which means he was wanting payment upfront. I feigned ignorance about Venmo. He didn't pursue advance payment, but then he wanted me to send him pics of myself. What the hell? This is the second time this has happened that an escort wanted me to send pics and stats of myself. These guys are in the wrong business!! They need to be on Grindr, not Rentmen! Pisses me off. A shame, too, because he was hot.
 
This hiring thing is becoming more difficult by the day. Just seems like there aren't any authentically skilled escorts out there - just scammers and fakes who only want your money. It's becoming just as much of a hassle as trying to find some action on the apps.

They are in Scene One from Treasure Island Media's Cumsloppy Buttholes.
http://store.treasureislandmedia.com/CUMSLOPPY-BUTTHOLES.html

No way... If folks have that much money to "blow", why not spend it on helping someone less fortunate or buying book(s) for a college kid...

I’m with @Lance_Navarro and @VictorPowers on this one. I absolutely love what I do and I’m interested in continuing to be busy. I don’t see raising my rates as an effective means of protesting; it ultimately stands as a fear reaction that screws clients and is counter to my goals.
 
I think we all might benefit from taking a step back and honestly evaluating our reactions. There is a lot of fear and we all know by now that fear is a poor motivator for change, and doesn’t solve problems. I’m not saying that what’s happening right now is right, or fair, or makes any kind of sense at all – like many of you, I’m ready to fight, and I’m ready to see this law go down against a constitutional challenge. But, conducting ourselves as if money is the only thing that matters and acting as if our world will end because of this law is lunacy.

I won't raise my rates even if so many others choose to do so. I dont feel the market would take that well. I feel it's a matter of affordability and I dont want to gouge clients that are already great to me. I feel a rate hike would deter many many hires and would do more harm than good.

Great points and this is exactly what I meant when I said that I don't think that M4M escorts can charge, nor should they try and charge as much as women. The myth and stigma that women don't want sex as much as men do, gives female sex workers greater leverage for higher rates, whereas gay men (stereotypically) can get laid much easier because men always want sex.
 
I said in my post that I've only raised my rates twice in 8 years, but I realized that I've actually only done it once. I would never want to raise my rates to a point where I've priced out a majority of guys out there and am only accessible to the very wealthy. I love what I do and want to be busy.

My god man, you come across so arrogantly, it is amazing that you can maintain a business. I suppose either you act the fool in your business or you are acting the fool here, or perhaps both. Or perhaps your client base really doesn't care what you have to say as long as you have what they want between your legs. I am actually now sorry to read that you are doing well, because your sort of arrogance is a a scar on the escorting profession, in my opinion. I would never have hired you, but I can only imagine that most here who might have, have long lost patience with your pontification and smugness, so your "I do not need anyone here" thrust is working.
You might want to consider getting a second job, because with the attitude you have shown here, even niche buyers are going to get tired of your schtick and even your 5 figure weeks might not carry you through, expensive hobby or not.

He definitely went all the way with me. Let me top him and was willing to top me, too, but for some reason I didn't. I've been kicking myself for passing up that opportunity ever since! IMHO, Jake is the sexiest man alive. Just thinking about when I saw him last March has me hard.