LivingnLA

Fight club rules apply. ?
 

Have you ever considered how much time it takes to review 154 pages? The rules are very specific about what will happen when a violation occurs.
 
Perhaps you should place the blame where it belongs; Congress and the President. Me, I'd prefer not have to explain your actions to a judge. End of Story.
 
Go read the rules or better yet, go read the law: HR1865
 

Reminder, it is against the rules to post reviews in the message-forum.
Discussion of "Extras" is not appropriate.
Please be careful so as not to compromise their licenses.

I'm so glad to read that you are working productively toward your goals! As I'm sure you'd agree, it's trite but true that we can't control everything that happens to us but we can control how we understand and react. It can be empowering to do that. And from what you've said, it's clear you have approached this entire situation with care, thoughtfulness and integrity. That alone would make you incredibly lovable and attractive to many, many, many people.
 
Onward and upward!

I greatly appreciate you explaining your earlier remarks. At first I did feel personally attacked by your comments, but I whole-heartedly agree with you about therapy. It was through my therapist that I came to the decision that hiring an escort to fulfill a fantasy did not make me desperate or less than, and it will be through my therapist that I will work through the failed experience ? When I posted this, I was looking for a simple yes or no, but I’ve gained so much more knowledge about client expectations. I now believe my escort did everything right by me, possibly above and beyond. That already makes me feel much more at ease. I’m sure had I listened to him and stayed, we could have worked through it. However, just as he is human and could not finish the deed, I acted human and let my emotions take over in that moment. While it’s a shame he and I will probably never get to make up that session, I have removed my negative review, as I was getting several DMs about my review and I do not wish to cost him business. I’ll be seeing my favorite masseur this weekend and with time will start to seek out a new escort to live out my fantasy...with new expectations.

I came to understand how my suggestion sounded, especially to the OP, after he responded to it. I'm not suggesting that the situation was his "fault", and certainly not entirely his fault. Rather, my point was that he brought certain self-image issues to the encounter and that what transpired fed into those issues and caused him distress. I am not a therapist (although I have a number of close relatives who either are therapists or have benefited from therapy) and so I shouldn't have made what sounding like a cavalier comment as a post on an open forum. My instinct was to be helpful by suggesting that the OP would benefit from tackling whatever led him to be vulnerable and to be so affected by a disappointing escort experience. But my intentions aside, I can see how it sounded to the OP. If I could go back in time, I would have omitted some of what I said on the forum and perhaps written to the OP in a DM.
 
I don't consider therapy to be a stamp of shame or an indication that the therapy client has something wrong with him. It's a form of treatment that can be helpful with any number of obstacles one may be facing. Some use therapy to overcome addictions. Some use it to develop better interpersonal skills and understandings. Some use it in combination with other forms of treatments to deal with, for example, bi polar disorder (as an Uncle of mine did). My brother resisted therapy when he clearly needed it and ended up taking his own life. My Uncle used therapy to deflect the need for medication until the therapy helped him realize he needed the medication. My brother died before he turned 60 in a year when his only son was set to marry, and our father was clinging to life with stage 4 kidney failure. My Uncle lived to 87 and succumbed to cancer earlier this year. Still, I recognize that being told to seek therapy strikes you one way, while coming to that conclusion yourself has a much different impact. Ultimately, we all have to figure out what works best for us.
 
So, I didn't mean to come off as flippant and apologized if that's how it did come off. I do think a lot of us could benefit from introspection and the assistance of professional therapy. I don't want to make it about the OP, although that's what prompted all of this. Do I think he could benefit from therapy? Yeah, but I don't know anything about him other than what he wrote here so my impression is based on very limited information. More to the point, in my experience, therapy is something the patient has to believe will be helpful to work. There are cases where people are committed or court ordered to be in therapy. Some of those situations turn out well. Most don't change anything, at least without further incidents and further consequences causing a course correction.
 
If the OP can benefit from counseling/therapy, I hope he opts to avail himself of that option. If he doesn't perceive a need or benefit, and finds it offensive to have some stranger suggest it in a public forum about escorts and clients, I completely get that, too. It's his life and he should live it the way that makes sense to him.
 
Now, as far as how all of this impacts the escort-client dynamic, I suspect that a lot of the best escorts have a good deal of empathy for their clients and do their best to make them feel good about themselves and the experience. But that doesn't guarantee an erection for x amount of time, and if the lack of an erection is perceived by the client as a rejection, what's the best response? I tend to favor self awareness and introspection, perhaps to a fault at times. The encounter was a snapshot. The OP's life is ongoing, and he will figure this all out in his own way on his own schedule with or without the assistant of a professional. Or he won't. If he and I were close IRL, I'd look for opportunities to figure out what would be in his interest and how to encourage him to pursue that path. But we're not, I'm limited in what I know, and my advice apparently came off as judgmental rather than productive encouragement.

I think it's simpler than that. He, and others, see our ads wherein we sport hardons. Those hardons are alluring. They book an appointment and spend the interim thinking and drooling :-) about those hardons. The day comes, Unfortunately, the hardon does not show up OR doesn't last as long as they hoped and dreamed And so, for them the session is poisoned.
 
You, F. Lurker, see a whole person, and if in the rare instance one part of that person is shy on the day of the appointment, you do your best to find other things to enjoy about the experience. Maybe you do this because you are a compassionate person or because you prefer to protect your own psyche and keep a general good mood, which to some seems pollyannaish but it works for you.
 
Clearly others see it as false advertising, the Big Mac in the package not looking at all like the Big Mac in the photo. It happens. It sucks.

Ha. You said that people are never robots and when on to say that if the parts ever don't work we should quit.
 
I'm not taking medication for a medical problem I don't have just because you or someone else who measures the success of a session along just ONE thing, might come by on one of my very very rare human days, and I don't think other escorts should feel threatened into doing so either.

I think it lacks credibility when you don't think of hiring an escort in this way. Fundamentally, you are hiring the escort for his time. X money for X time is still how this transaction is communicated by basically all escorts and clients (at least in my experience) even in places where sex work is decriminalized. It's up to both client/provider to communicate wants and the fulfillment of those wants in the time provided. Most time you get most of what you want, but not always. A credible client will pay regardless.

Obviously, you are not spending $300 to just sit silently and stare at his face. But escorts are human beings providing an entertainment service and we should treat them as such. It's like when you pay money to see a concert or comedian and yeah sometimes the band doesn't play your favorite song or the comedian isn't funny. That doesn't mean you get to demand a refund at the end of the performance.
 
I feel bad about the experience of the OP and feel that the escort should have done a better job being ready to perform. But I think it's absolutely ridiculous and unfair to ask for a refund to an escort who shows up on time, does his best in the situation to perform for you (but cannot) and is willing to try to make something fun happen in the time that you have together. This is exactly the case according to the OP's description of events.
 
It can be hard the first time when you have a lot of built up expectations of what you're "supposed" to get as a client, but reality often doesn't meet our expectations. This has happened to me multiple times hiring (though probably only one out of every 10 or so) and with experience I have learned that through communication and adaptability, you can usually still have a great time even if you don't get 100 percent what you originally wanted.
 
It's completely ridiculous to say that just because you didn't get exactly what you want, that you shouldn't have to pay the escort for his time. That's some self-entitled BS and is I think an attitude that leads a lot of escorts to increasingly give up on continuing in the profession.

http://untitled-magazine.com/online/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/On-The-Side-The-Untitled-Magazine-Photography-by-Tina-Turnbow-Nico-Tortorella_1.jpg

Good News to report. I went to Austin to meet a guy I met on SA. Lived up to everything he said. Delightful weekend. Made a regular arrangement at a reasonable monthly amount. Fights are nonstop and reasonable. I actually prefer a guy out of town. I understand that not everyone would. Anyway, SA does work. I put the outrageously expensive monthly fee on vacation. SA does work, but it is work!

That is certainly an exaggeration, but it is true that at any time in history there has always been somewhere in the world where normal conditions have been truly horrendous for most people. I have just finished a book about the "Black Death" in Europe in the 14th century, when no one understood what they were dealing with, how to prevent it or how to treat it, and people were dropping dead within a day or two of developing repulsive physical symptoms. Plagues have ruined lives throughout human history, and we are lucky to understand and have as much control as we do over our situation.

That’s a hazard of this so-called hobby. It’s happened to me 3 times. First one was a masseur. in my naive way, I was sure it was two-sided, but eventually when I pushed for more, the let-down was crushing. The next one was an escort. Movie star quality - Mr. Perfect. And he picked up on the vibes and took me on a long, fantasy ride for over a year. And like the first one, he had met “someone” new and it was over. Yeah, after I’d taken him to Hawaii for a week, and spent gawd-knows how much $$$ on his wardrobe, sports tickets and food. Number three was even more painful. Again, Mr. Adonis was nearly perfect and we went so far as to move in together. My job changed and he had some family obligations that mysteriously appeared at the same time. So I was headed to a new city, and he was going back “home” - it was a tough breakup; but then through the wonders of social media I discovered that he found another dude within days. Moral of these stories? Escorts and masseurs are entrepreneurs- and they for the most part are wonderful people. But they are almost always not seeking a love interest in their client base.

Cut bait and run.
 
This hobby can be fun, but like all fun things there is a dark side.
Keeping a healthy perspective can be difficult and kudos to you
for realizing that you may be in over your head. If he’s a true professional
he’ll understand and help you depart gracefully with your dignity intact.
 
Although I have occasionally developed strong feelings, I’ve never fallen
in love with an escort. If I ever did realize I was starting to develop deeper
feelings I would disclose that to the escort and then stop seeing them.
 
Its hard to do, but like ripping off a bandaid, it’s less painful in the long run.

As long as you're comfortable doing that and he's receptive, that's awesome ?
 
So many docs don't keep up with where meds have gone (and are going). They're stuck in the 'take two amoxil a day and call the nurse on duty if it gets worse' ideology. That's why- for me- finding not only a gp, but also an infectious disease specialist has been the silver bullet.
 
Now I feel medically well-cared for and as an escort, that's perhaps the most important tool in our arsenal.

https://preprx.ucsf.edu/2-1-1-prep
 
As Frank says above, 2-1-1 begins with a double dose 2-24 hrs. before sex, and is followed by a single dose the next 2 days. It would be prudent to follow that protocol for all sexual encounters, not only "unprotected," but that's up to you. If you a very active with different partners, the daily dose of Truvada or Descovy probably makes more sense.
 
All PrEP therapies are based on those 2 prescription drugs. I'm sure there are sketchy operators out there in internetland willing to take your money to bypass the physician-pharmacist route, but IMHO doing that is not very wise.
 
A reminder that for most people with commercial insurance, PrEP is free or low cost with the manufacturer's copay programs, available for both drugs
https://www.descovy.com/treatment/co-pay-assistance
 
Many states and most big cities have programs to provide PrEP at little or no cost to those without commercial insurance.
 
If you feel unable to ask your regular physician for a prescription, or you don't have a regular physician, I would check out local HIV services or STD clinics, you can almost certainly find a physician who will manage PrEP therapy without judgement at or through such facilities.

And don't forget their are always condoms which also help prevent stds, which prep does not.

Thanks for canvassing this important issue, @Oliver, no one is unaffected by the pandemic and for the most part people's reactions have been understandable. I exclude those who have sought to deny it, who claim to have greater insight than the medical experts and who seem to regard the economy as being more important than our lives.
 
I too am of a certain age, although not as certain as some other forum members. I am lucky to live in a country that has largely been spared the harsher effects of the pandemic, and the restrictions I've had to endure have not been particularly burdensome. I have managed the last six months reasonably well and coped with the spending most of my time inside my house. The internet has made it easier, as it brings so many things into my bubble, this forum not the least of them, as has the 'serious' network of our public broadcaster. There are things I cannot do, but I didn't feel constrained by it. That said, I am aware that I won't live forever, so the time I have to do things isn't unlimited.
 
Even now, as I think about travel, i don't feel resentment at those or any other limitations, although I have the beginnings of a degree of frustration. I can travel to most of the country but not overseas, and I am looking at places around Australia with new eyes. Last night in a current affairs piece about the impact of the pandemic restriction on various communities around the country they covered a flash hotel that was at 10 to 20% occupancy and rather than just think 'That's interesting' I immediately thought about a short break there. (No, I haven't booked. Yet.) The possibility of travel to New Zealand seems to be tantalisingly close, and I'll be on a plane there pretty soon after it becomes possible.
 
I recognise that if our restrictions were harsher I'd be more likely to feel oppressed by them and perhaps resentful, so I'm in no position to criticise others who are. Are they being selfish? Maybe, but to me wishing restrictions away is natural, it's not really being selfish unless you convert your frustrations into flouting the restrictions. For now, I'm content to count my blessings, plan on taking up opportunities as they arise and hoping for there to be more of them. And even to dare to hope that Palm Springs 2021 will be a thing, and one that I can travel for!

I was sitting here thinking "wow - polio, diphtheria, and mumps season is almost here." And then I remembered that these diseases are no longer common in the US. How did we eradicate those diseases again? ?
 
Of course, thanks to anti-vaxers, measles has reared its ugly head again in the last 15 years.

FACT: Vaccines keep a myriad of deadly diseases at bay.
 
I always get my flu shot. Never had a side-effect, thankfully.
 
I am fully vaccinated not only for my protection, but for the health of people around me.

This past flu season was a double barrel flu season - where two strains overlap, making it easier to get it twice, or the vaccine less effective - and around 62,000 died. Covid-19 has killed some of my clients, and a lot of the 200,000 people that have died so far are in the age range of my clients. And my parents, for that matter.
 
Getting my flu shot next week. I didn't use to get one because I'd never had the flu and I had a lot of friends who got sick every year when they get it, so I shrugged it off. But I think that was selfish of me because getting the flu shot is more about protecting others than protecting myself - like wearing a mask, or not j-walking in front of children, or not punching people in the face.
 
I do not feel inconvenienced by the possibility of getting sick from the shot, or getting the flu anyways, because I can survive either and I hope that when I feel comfortable to start working again my clients and parents are still alive.

I have both psoriasis and eczema and its a constant struggle. I hate my skin and it makes me very insecure. I've had clients and hookups turn me away because they thought I had Syphilis. Smoking makes it worse. Stress makes it worse. Not drinking enough water makes it worse. Honestly, if it weren't for my skin problems I wouldn't have spent so much time developing a healthier lifestyle and habits...
 
Topical prescription steroids are the best. Spray for easy application, or an ointment you can mix into lotion for larger areas.
Using too much soap or the wrong soap can perpetuate the problem. For Psoriasis, T-Gel from Neutrogena (with Tar Oil) shampoo works on your scalp but just as well on problem skin area. Body wash with Salicylic acid works as well. I wash my elbows, lower legs, and scap with these. Depending on their water, a filter in their shower and kitchen (not just Britta) can make a difference.
 
Intermittent fasting does wonders for Psoriasis, inflammatory, and autoimmune disorders.
 
If their skin is dry or combo (not oily) I recommend more organic and super-rich products like shea butter and products marketed towards "ethnic" skin and hair. It's best to moisturize your entire body - not just the problem areas. This will also keep them looking younger longer. The women in our life were never joking about that. The single best OTC remedy and moisturizer I have found for psoriasis is Organic Olive Oil. You'll smell like a salad, but you'll shine like gold and it really calms your skin.

I generally leave the OC when I'm looking for this kind of "massage." I haven't had a good experience with a large variety of different providers in OC over the years. And one was even physically dangerous, almost aggressive enough to cause injury.

I used to when the kids were little and likely to wake us up or sleep with us because I wanted my morning wood well controlled. Now, I'm back just in my boxer briefs because I run hot. Nude is just one step too far for me.