LivingnLA

No, but it reminded me that I once went to the apartment of an escort in NYC, and he had a barber chair in his living room, which we used for something other than a haircut.

I'm sorry you're going through all of this @Gar1eth. It really sounds like the two of you are not compatible. The communication divergence is significant and without communication a relationship will not survive. Please think about your expectations and whether you really want to try and make this work because it seems like you will have to significantly shift your actions and thoughts to make anything work with this guy. Do you want to do that to yourself?

Thanks for sharing. We are all human and every human has prejudices and bigotries. They're based on our cognitive biases and a lifetime of experiences and how it all fits in a society's social hierarchy. "Punching down" to feel better is a thing. My wife and I have a pretty diverse friend group because we wanted our kids exposed to as much diversity as possible. It's led to some weird experiences because the gay male couples in our social circles frequently are very politically and socially conservative with some challenging bigotries. We've never confronted them, but we have had very complex conversations with our kids after a dinner party or birthday party where they overheard something upsetting. The most important lesson we've tried to teach is the value of awareness because awareness enables us to respond and react in a more compassionate humane ways. Now I wonder if we should chat with some of these people, in private over a good glass of wine. I'm uncomfortable with how our polite silence may be mistaken for support.
 
https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2015/11/13/rise-gay-bigot
 
https://www.un.org/development/desa/dspd/2018/02/prejudice-and-discrimination/

@crazyivan, welcome to the forum! @azdr0710 provided some good links.
 
Have you been tested? Have you been vaccinated? Have you considered PrEP? Do you have condoms and lube? Have you communicated your interests and established the ground rules? How did you find this escort? How do you know they're real and trustworthy? Where are you meeting? Have you planned for your safety?
 
Sorry for the barrage of questions but the answers to these and many others is how you make sure you're informed and prepared for a great experience for you and the escort. My first experience wasn't great, but it was very educational. When I was ready for the next experience, I found an amazing guy who made it memorable. Good luck. I hope you have a safe hot time!

https://m4m-forum.org/threads/suggestions-advice-for-someone-whos-new-to-hiring-an-escort.145483/
 
https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/dos-and-donts.150718/
 
https://m4m-forum.org/threads/advice-for-a-newbie-please.121765/

I think part of the reason is because gays have been discriminated against for so long as well, collectively a stereotype and reality exists to have their own clique exclusionary to others that ends up being 1950's -ish. I once was in Puerto Vallarta on a trip there with a client I had an semi long term arrangement with during the holidays. It just so happens all of San Francisco gay scene basically migrates there for the holidays as well. At dinner one night the conversation with another gay couple visiting turned so derogatory and insensitive towards trans individuals from the couples end...I am so happy that I am a happy drunk and the wine mellowed me out and numbed me to the nonsense and disgusting things I heard. I am pansexual and never have "came out"...I live my life though as openly being a freak...so whether your male, female, trans, cis, bi, straight, gay....if I feel an attraction towards you I am going to make that known...whether on a sexual level, emotional level, or both. But, I have never felt a need to come out, or moreover a want to come out particularly because of how prejudice and judgmental the gay male community and 'scene' can be at times.

Whoever they are, maybe they monitor this forum or something because that ad was gone in ninety minutes of this post. Impressive.

Of course even long-term relationships end sometimes. O
 
My point was more that there is a large group of men who find other things to do with their lives than looking for sex. If that seems foreign to you, it's more a function of the people you choose to hang out with than that it doent exist.

I'm 6'2" and bearish. The tallest man I have had sex with was 6'5", the shortest about 5'5". I honestly never had any issues having sex with some one shorter or taller than me in any way. Maybe because although I'm a big guy I'm pretty flexible and maneuverable. There are ways around every size.
 
The only difference for me is kissing. Someone closer to my hieght, it's easier to kiss. Someone shorter, I may have to bend down to do so. I remedy that by either picking the guy up so we are face to face or may get in a position, like sitting on a chair while being straddled. You could also lay side by side with s shorter person to match up face to face for kissing. There are more ways to adjust to make it easier.
 
I've had no complaints.

IF I can get away with saving it and still leaving my partner satisfied I will, that way it builds up for the next person, if you happen to be that next person I am cumming twice probably:p
For me at least it boils down to not if I can (I never schedule appointments if I wouldnt be able to) or want to (I always want to btw) but how much fluid I have in the tank or need in the tank for later.

just state your preferences/what you are looking for when first contacting, but keep in general terms for legality.
Example: Im looking to bottom and cum while swallowing a nice thick load...
Post orgasm blues may come into play so if a client cums before me, I let their body language usually speak for itself whether they still want me to cum afterwards....as a side note this is why I stress booking in advance...sometimes I feel I annoy clients actually for wanting to cum multiple times myself before I leave lol!

Wild means different things to different people. It's best to ask the escort what wild means to them. I suggest sharing some of your wild and asking if anything you mention is beyond them.

Wild means different things to different people. It's best to ask the escort what wild means to them. I suggest sharing some of your wild and asking if anything you mention is beyond them.

Wild means different things to different people. It's best to ask the escort what wild means to them. I suggest sharing some of your wild and asking if anything you mention is beyond them.

No so far it's just had two dates. I'd like to get closer. But unless things improve it may have to stay at the buddy stage.
 
Gman

@Gar1eth, congratulations on the date. As I've said before, life goes on, even during a pandemic. I presume both of you discussed this extensively since you know the time you spent together, especially the necking, exchanged many droplets. If either of you were infected, the probability is high that both of you are now.
 
Regarding bisexuality, I identify as bisexual and even after many years of study, it's still an endlessly interesting topic for me because of the diversity of human interests. I have heard many answers from many bisexual people over the years about "why they're bi" or "what they're attracted to" because many monosexuals seem to struggle with the inherent complexity in bisexuality. Human sexuality is very complicated, even when we're discussing a heteo or homo rmonosexual.
 
Like identity, I would take him at his word about his attractions and go from there. I tend to be more into emotional relationships with women and physical relationships with men, but really it boils down to intelligence and personality for me, regardless of their physical attributes. Gender expression tends to strongly influence my level of attraction.
 
You mentioned polyamory, are you okay with him having multiple lovers? That strikes me as a more complex potential area of conflict for many people. If he's into you and you're into each other, go for it! Have fun and make sure both of you communicate clearly and regularly so there are no misunderstandings. Relationships are complicated, adding layers greatly increases the complexity, so communicate and explore together.
 

 
How old is he? It sounds like he's a very relaxed communicator and you should like a high touch communicator. You'll probably want to dial it way down if you don't want to spook him off.

Growing up in a military medical family, we were very casual about the human body. So much so, that my dad walked around the house in less than polite company would expect. I was the kid with Zeig Mal! (Show Me! in English) and the teen with Dr. Westheimer's first book. I was sexually active early but I was responsible compared to peers. It made for some unusual experiences in high school. I'll never forget standing in the locker room after practice with my team captain asking if the rumors were true. He'd just broken up with his girl after a fight about how bad he was in bed. She and I briefly dated the previous year. Discreetly checking out his body while he asked his questions made me realize I was sexually attracted to guys in a different but no less powerful way than my attraction to women.

Yes it's true!! I had a date!!! There's been a 3-1/2 month period of getting to know each other by text. But that's normal, right? ??
 
Actually what happened was the guy contacted me thru one of the hook-up apps, and left his phone number back on February. I contacted him by text. I think it took a day or so for him to respond. Then I responded back -and there was bubkes for a response until the early part of May. I probably did send an interim text in April because I really wanted to meet the guy. But again, he didn't respond until May. And even now he won't always respond to texts for three or more days. So it's frustrating. ??
 
When he did finally respond a week ago, he said he was under a deadline at work. But when it was finished, he wanted to meet. So we set up a day to meet earlier this week. That day he texts me that he's still too busy. But we managed to meet today for a bit. We went to a reopened coffee shop. We also managed to do a bit of necking in the parking lot.
 
He said he likes me. And he wants to meet again. I am worried about Corona-especially since I'm in a high risk group due to age and medical conditions. But I, as many of you are, am lonely. I don't even have any friends here to talk to. I think even though it scares me I'm going to have to go for it.
 
One thing I'd like to get some viewpoints on from our community here. This guy is bisexual. He says that with woman he has to be attracted to them physically. With men he has to be attracted to more to personality. For those of you who are bisexual or have dated bisexuals, I'm wondering if this is a common preference or idiosyncratic to this guy.
 
Gman

Massage is a high risk event. It includes close physical proximity, breath work, talking, physical contact, and extended duration in a typically small room. Leading experts in the field are suggesting masks are a must on everyone, talking must be minimized, strict cleaning and disinfecting of everything must be done between clients, new linens and supplies between clients, and the room must be completely aired out between clients. All of that just reduces the risk. There's no way to eliminate all of the risk given the nature of massage.
 
Remember, just like STIs, the risk isn't necessarily the person you're directly interacting with at the moment. It's all of the people they've interacted with during the previous week or two. Additionally, if you are engaging in any unprotected sexual contact, it's important to know that the coronavirus has been detected in saliva, semen, and feces. We don't know if the viral dose is enough for infection, but the possibility exists. So unprotected sexual contact may spread the coronavirus. Life is full of risk. Be informed. Know your risks. Be mature enough to discuss them with whoever you're interacting with and make your choice.

He's been around LA for awhile. I've been curious about him, but there's something that makes me hesitate and I don't know why. Here's an older thread about him: https://m4m-forum.org/threads/bde-brad-los-angeles.145386/

All of this assumes they are already following all standard cleaning, sanitizing, and disinfection procedures for laundry and everything exposed during the session. It isn't primarily about surface contact, not if current research is right. The main way this blood disease appears to spread is respiratory droplets. Any time a human being is next to another human being, especially indoors, they are exchanging respiratory droplets if they're talking, singing, yelling, or even deep breathing. Two of those are done regularly in massage. Coughing and sneezing create many droplets with high velocity so the spread is greater. Add in duration, and the number of droplets exchanged goes up rapidly. The estimates I've seen suggest being in close proximity (within 6 feet) for 10-15 minutes is sufficient to transmit enough virus particles for infection. That's why some places limit sessions to 30 minutes because decent cloth masks reduce droplet transmission by 50-75% or better, which means 20-30 minutes is a reasonable time limit for some therapeutic benefit with reasonable risk. Beyond that, HEPA filtration per room is a good way to reduce transmission risk more. Another alternative is an outdoor space, so long as there's a breeze, transmission risk would be even lower.