Eric Hassan

that doesn't scare me bring it on.

EXACTLY!!! But let's do more than just sniff forearms

I love you guys Forearms are my thing, but they're not my only thing, and I would never allow my personal lack of attraction to your forearms allow me to miss out on everything else you've got to offer. So, uh, bring it ... And @Beancounter - you beautiful man! - I'm stealing "the Hassan plunge"

My thesis for my masters was related to this and incorporated this perspective. I discussed the role of metacognition - the ability to think about thinking - as an important guide for behavior. I think it is simply our ability to ask “what does this mean?” that guides our thoughts: we think there might be a purpose to life because we are able to ponder the possibility. These thoughts, in turn, influence our actions - the OP started this thread and we are replying. My own beliefs are best shared with time, a meal, and a measured dose of your favorite intoxicant. I can talk a lot on this topic! In short, I think our function is to forgive our illusions - the things we’ve made that are not love. I don’t think life has any meaning, per se; you’re free to place any meaning you want on it.

I expect to be paid in local currency, though I wouldn't object to getting US money in Canada. I don't personally change my rates nor do I recalculate based on exchange. My hourly US rate is in line with the NYC market; in Canada, the same number of dollars (but just Canadian dollors) is a bit high for the market. I keep my rates the exact same number, just in Canadian dollars. Yes, it means I am making less per hour with the exchange rate, but I'm focused here on the experience of the guy hiring me - he's paying a lot more than he might pay a local and I think I would cost myself some business by changing my rate to account for the exchange; effectively, if I did that, my rate would be about twice the average for a market like Toronto.

More like a conscientious objector to BS. And a Red Sox fan.

I’m a New Yorker - NYC treats me well and I think a lot of working guys do well when visiting. I also always have outstanding experiences in Philly and DC. Given the relatively close proximity of each of these to the others, it might be something to consider.

My experience in Boston as a working guy has been horrible - hands down worst city I’ve visited for work. On my last trip, I had 7 appointments scheduled - 6 of them cancelled at the last minute; the 1 that didn’t was visiting from NYC. Not one to let a few cancellations stop me, I put out feelers and followed up with people I had not been able to schedule. Nothing. I went out and the bars were practically empty. Online hookup apps were like meth dens. I love Boston and pass through frequently, but can’t justify spending work time there. Unfortunately, I’ve heard similar stories from other guys. I’m not sure when Boston shit the bed, but I suspect the escort scene isn’t going to improve anytime soon. I’d love to hear from anyone who had a great experience in Boston!

I think you're not going to have a very fun time if you keep getting upset at what's happening, or if you keep searching for the "logic" behind it all. I personally have experienced many of the things you've mentioned (as I'm sure many of the working fellows have), and I sometimes find they seem to come and go; at times, there are more oddball questions and flakes than others. This is part of the business and I would assert that nearly every business on earth has the time wasters, the people who don't read, the people who communicate ineffectively, etc. To me, part of the work we do is dealing with these things. Essentially, you can be right or you can be happy.

Even the researchers acknowledge this might be a multi-factorial issue and not solely related to PrEP. Remember that correlation does not necessarily indicate causation.

What @Shawn Monroe said ... The reason an escort makes any choice about where to post travel plans is to make sure that people get it. As someone who travels, I post my travel plans here, on my calendar on my site, and on my RM ad. Despite all of that, I get requests from people trying to see me “tonight” when I’m not in that city for another week, or four days after I leave the city. I also get periodic requests from people who seem to not understand that I live in New York City, and are trying to see me “when I am home in Baltimore.” I am no @Kevin Slater so I don’t have exact numbers, but I would venture a guess that half of the people who contact me for appointments when I am traveling have not clarified my travel dates and are asking to see me when I am not in that city – I can’t imagine how many more people would be doing that sort of thing if I didn’t put clear dates.

Like others have mentioned, I have a supply bag that goes with me nearly everywhere. It has lube, condoms, cockrings, poppers, etc. I never thought much about who’s responsible for what, I just like to be prepared. Even if I don’t have my bag, I always carry poppers, a pen, and bubble gum.

Not exactly. To say that shame changes behaviour is incomplete and simplistic; a more accurate response would have been "not really, and you're missing the point." Shame never comes by itself - it's accompanied by guilt and fear - and thus, the change that ostensibly occurs because of shame is guaranteed to be accompanied by something just as ugly. That's the point I referred to above: shame does not really change behaviour, and if the point is to change behaviour towards something more healthy, and you end up dosing your victim with a shitload of fear and guilt, haven't you just solved one problem and created another? Your assertion is incomplete and simplistic because it ignores other factors. For example, someone might choose to use condoms more often because they've heard the statements shaming barebackers AND they don't have insurance anymore to cover the cost of PrEP AND they've got a new partner that insists on condoms. Shame never works alone because it involves at least 2 people. That means someone has to do the shaming and someone else has to acknowledge it and choose how they will respond. When you are shamed, you compare the information with what you think about yourself, how credible the person shaming is to you, previous experiences, something your mother once said, etc. Just like shame comes with a whole host of ugly friends, the experience of shaming (for BOTH parties) is rich with "other stuff." Also, the whole trope of someone being told not to do something and then doing it anyway exists for a reason. That's the kind of personality I have - shame me about something, and I want to do it more. In your face, if I can. Shame doesn't work on people like me. Here's what we can agree on: shame works, and for some, it can create (some) healthy change. I don't mean to invalidate your point or your experience. I think there are more kind and loving approaches for evoking change. I also think, at the end of the day, we need to let people make their own choices, even when we don't like them. I hope this helps clarify my answer.

Um, no.

I highly recommend that if you plan on being with your guy for 3 hours, you do one of two things: either pay him his fee for 3 hours, or ask him for a 2 hour appointment with an offer of dinner off the clock afterwards. Asking to spend 3 hours with someone and saying you'll only pay for 2 ... well, how does that sound to you?

The requirement to wear pants at work was enough to make me leave my clinical job, despite a nice salary.

Whenever people get stuck on sex questions, I suggest switching to a restaurant scenario to help clarify your thinking. This is how it would apply here: you go to your favorite diner. You’ve been craving a mushroom swiss burger. When the waiter comes over to take your order, would you hesitate at all to make it clear that you specifically wanted mushroom and swiss on your burger? Of course not! You’d ask, and you’d get it. Or he’d say they don’t have swiss and suggest an alternate cheese, at which point you get to choose if you want that alternative. Or, he’d say “sure” but your burger comes without mushroom and swiss, at which point you might ask for it to be remedied. Or you won’t, and you’ll just have to suck it up. In the same way that you’d ask for mushroom and swiss if that’s what you wanted, it’s entirely appropriate to ask for cum if you want it.

Maybe, as an act of good faith, you could share the details of your income in this public forum. That way, it might not feel so invasive when you ask us to do the same.

I can understand that struggle. Using French and English on your profile might help people be a bit more forgiving with grammar and could attract French speakers. Plus, it's an endearing and interesting thing about you - at least from my perspective! I started my own website almost 5 years ago. I added a section to the site with information about my escorting services, which has been nice, but now I am in the process of opening a site - erichassan.com - that will be solely dedicated to my escort services, and I'll leave thedudenextdoor.com as my porn site. Having a website is a great tool to help communicate more of who you are and there are many ways to do it - you can also check out lancesf.com (@Lance_Navarro's site) or david-sf.com for some ideas of what's possible. (Edited for, of all things, my poor grammar.)

I think something that you’re alluding to is a good idea – offering “packages“ can help people choose a certain experience. It will be helpful to you to offer different length appointments because different people will want different things, and if they see only one option and it doesn’t work for them, they might not choose to hire you. Also, you really need to clean up your grammar and spelling, and avoid making up words. The little details really matter.

Happy Birthday!

I’m always up for exercising that option, and they told me last time that if I stay there one more time, they would name a room after me.

Check out dayuse.com or hoteltonight.com. Dayuse is a great option – you just go on, and it will tell you what hotels have rooms and for how long – typically it’s from 3 to 6 hours somewhere in the afternoon for a reasonable rate. If you’re feeling really low budget and/or sleazy, there is always the Senton - 3 hours for 70 bucks (cash only) and zero frills – I don’t think they even know what a frill is there. It does the trick, especially if you’re looking for a really sleazy time.

That sounds like a good approach to me. You never have to feel rushed into any situation that you don’t want. Also, please know that many of us get to know each other and who we work well with, so if those guys aren’t available in your area or in the time you want, you might find contacting an escort and asking him who he works well with to be just as helpful. Either way, enjoy yourself!

Thanks, Daddy! The link at the top is very helpful