Eric Hassan

i'm sorry to hear that happened. my theory is there are two types of approaches to this work: money-focused or relationship-focused. you need to manage both, but i think most folks approach more strongly from one or the other - and perhaps this guy is more concerned with the dollar figure now than the relationship now and later

whatever the circumstances are, if you've set up your appointments via telephone/text before, you've set a precedent. to not have your phone charged and to not be checking messages may have seemed like the "right thing" to do - you were at a professional conference, probably cost some $, you want to pay attention, etc - but it was not the right thing to do given the circumstances. if you truly had your phone off, neglected to check it and/or the battery died, that's on you. his repsonse wasn't gracious - if someone that i have an ongoing relationship with did something out of the ordinary, i would be first concerned, not mad - but that's beside the point. he might not be the right guy for you anymore, but you could own your side of things. and to bring it to the next level - own your communication. be clear about what people can expect from you, then do it - or don't, and apologize/explain. there is an incredible amount of power to be found when you keep your word, and even more when you break it and own up to it - no matter how small. you get a lot of power when you take responsibility for yourself.

i don't get it - what is there to be afraid of?

You'll always have a bit of home here in NYC! It's also quite capable of sweeping one off one's feet . . .

i used to list myself as vers-top because i have occasionally enjoyed bottoming but it has mostly been a case-by-case basis where the chemistry just works that way. i am hired as a top most of the time, but when i started to get some disappointed folks when i didn't promise i would bottom, and explained the case-by-case thing, i realized it was probably misleading based on how the average guy seemed to interpert that, so i changed it to top. i've bottomed with clients, but it's a once a year kind of thing, and i realized i wasn't giving the best picture of what i can commit to versus what i might aspire to

it's just a matter of time - RM does heavily edit, especially in the US - and the removal process can be quick or slow - i had my rates posted for a while after others were saying they were removed, then mine were removed, and i put them back and they were removed immediately. it's the same with nudes/cock shots - they want them in a private gallery, and we all know that doesn't happen 100%, and yet some folks seem to have their photos moved to a private gallery quickly, and others keep them up with no problem. the enforcement is seemeingly arbitrary and often delayed long after the "infraction" this is why many of us - myself included - have made private sites with all of the necessary information, and then linked that from the RM ad

don't say goodbye to your audience until you're done with the show

i change my underwear daily, sometimes multiple times a day especially when i've been to the gym. most of the year i wear jockstraps, but somtimes i wear either tighty whiteys or trunks. what i don't do is wash my jockstraps and often don't wash my underwear, but that's usually because someone wants to buy them after they've been worn! i do always keep a stock of jockstraps and underwear that are just for me and not for sale, and those i change daily and wash regularly.

The little I know about you tells me you have a big heart and this is further evidence that you truly care. That's sweet, but sometimes doesn't get you anywhere. Personally, the moment I notice I'm dealing with a timewaster, I cut off the conversation immediately. No sad stories, no back and forth, no seeing what might happen - just end it. It might feel cruel or rude, but it's not up to you to figure out what's going on with the person on the other end - they are wasting your time, intentional or not, cognitive impairment or not. Anyway, I love that you also pivoted to learn more about CP. It's not something a lot of people understand.

The OP seemed, to me, to be upset that, during the attempt to use the app to cruise, there were some nasty things said about him that the "kid" didn't address - either with the offending parties or the guy. I was addressing his upset, not the choice to use the app, which the OP seemed to say it was not only something they had done before, but that he was willing to do again. That doesn't mean that when it goes awry there is nothing to do about it, or that it's "his fault" - he was upset, the service provider didn't get it or address it, and it's my opinion that if you're hired for this kind of job, when something does goes awary, you don't sit on "it takes two to tango," but you step the fuck up and make it right. And to your point, yes it was probably naive to think it was a good idea. It can work out great, but it can also spell disaster. And yes, it might have been better that the OP address this with the guy, but I imagine that would have been hard to do in the moment.

AMEN. A good escort is focused on you and your experience and would have made sure you knew that. I understand you might have agreed to app cruising but when it got nasty, that was his chance to show you what you paid for. That's not on you, dude.

thank you! also, it's ok to have a man AND wine

as many have said, it would be wise to discuss this with the guy in question, and get clear on what the offer is and the expectations are personally, i have done this with clients - visited them, stayed with them in a separate room, and had some paid time together - the nice thing was that i had a nice place to stay with folks i liked and was free to come and go and see clients outside of the house, i got paid by the clients for our defined time together, and we got to have some off the clock social time when i wasn't seeing other folks - it can certainly be a win-win, but it does take being very open and communicating clearly

that's not a fact, that's an opinion

first of all, i never said i pay 4000/month second of all, if you read my posts completely, you would have seen that i gave clear examples of unexpected expenses, aliong with an extensive breakdown of what the money we pay covers and i stated at least once that it covers taxes, and it happens to cover the insurance for the building, but not the individual units third of all, there is no way in hell i am going to give "real figures" in a public forum - i came as close as i will to that by stating we pay almost as much in fees as we do in mortgage - fourth of all, i maintain that you don't live here, haven't actually read or understood my responses, and are convinved that you are right and that i - someone who actually lives here and has an understanding of what i'm paying and paying for - don't know what i'm talking about, but you go on and be the expert fifth of all, all of this - to me, at least - boils down to what i choose for my life, and if you don't like it, or think it's stupid, or think i'm wrong, that's fine, but if you want to keep arguing about it, you're going to have to do it without me

i don't think you fiully grasp the reality of living here and i think you're more committed to being right than understanding. also, your math is way off.

exactly - reserves are a good thing for surprise items like that - we recently had to have the roof fixed as well, which cost well over a million (not sure on the exact figure, but this is for some structural issues that we wouldn't have known about if there wasn't an inspection - it just woudl have become a problem further down the road)

we've got doormen, a super, and a porter in the building - labor costs are most certainly higher than 300k and not only do we pay their salary, but we pay for supplies like paper towels, heavy duty garbage bags, lightbulbs, paint, etc - the building also supplies filters for every HVAC unit in the building including in all the units - they also go to each floor daily to clean the carpets and moulding, clear out all the recycling, change lightbulbs as needed, sweep and mop the staircases - they also take out the trash, clean the sidewalks and entryways, and remove snow and ice when necesssary - they also manage packages (coming and going), laundry/dry cleaning (coming and going) also, it's likely that labor is not the biggest expense - we have common areas that are mortgaged and need to be paid for (and cleaned and cllimate controlled) collectively including a lobby, stairwells, hallways, a bike room and a storage room, and we also have three retail space that needs to be paid for when there is not a tenant - recently, a restaurant space we had was vacant for over a year, and they pay a lot of rent - rent that we have to make up when they are not there - and all of this is in addition to real estate taxes additionally, there is regular maintenance that needs to happen on the physical structure - along with routine things like cleaning the boilers, there are multiple pieces of machinery to keep the building going - laundry facilites, the trash compactor, the security system and cameras, etc then there are the surprise items that come up - gas leaks, sewage problems, sudden departure of staff and overtime needed to compensate, broken window in the lobby, etc i know it seems like it's a lot of money each month on top of mortgage, and you could do math and figure out how much you think it should cost, but i can tell you the experience of living in a building and paying one fee that makes sure taxes are paid, there is adequate staff, the building is safely maintained and secured, my trash is taken care of, my laundry and packages can be delivered and received and held for me when i am not there, i don't shovel snow or weed the gardens, there is someone to greet me any time of day or night i arrive, and someone to greet my guests as well makes it worth the money the way i look at it is comparing my experiencce with my brother - he lives in a huge house in the woods of new hamsphire for which he pays a mortage. he's got a huge yard - that he has to mow, fertilize, and water - and he has to purchase and maintain the equipment to do it - he's got a big patio in the back and a long driveway - both of which need to be cleared in the winter of snow and ice - he has to heat and cool the house (which he pays for, and which involves at least 3 vendors - the oil people, the electric company, and the people who maintain the system) and not only does he have to take care of all of the maintenance of the house - cleaning the bathrooms, doing laundry, cleaning windows, fixing broken things, etc - all of which require cleaning supplies, screws, nuts and bolts, etc - he pays his own real estate taxes, take his garbage out, chase down packages that need signatures because he's not home when they deliver, pick up his dry cleaning at the cleaner, rake leaves in the fall, etc - he pays more than i do because he not only has to pay for supplies and maintenance, then he has to do it himself, so his nights and weekends are disproportionally full of the taking care of his house and yard - at both a finanancial and physical cost - all to live in the woods where everyone is in bed by 8pm because they're exhausted from yardwork

we've got 13 floors with apartments, each with about 10 units, most occupied by single people or couples without children (there are a few young families) so the costs are divided among all of us - i won't give numbers, but our monthly fees are close to what our monthly mortgage is - the monthly fees owed to the co-op are based on how many shares you own; smaller places (as measured by square feet) pay less because they own less of the building

i live in manhattan and own my place with my husband - the money we pay monthly pays for the doorman and building staff (24 hour doorman and trash/snow removal, emergency maintenance, regular cleaning and upkeep of shared spaces), the electricity and climate control in hallways, stairways, and the lobby, it pays for flowers/landscaping in planters in front of the building and on the roof, it pays for fines we might get for things like trash issues - it also adds to the reserve we have for projects (a couple years ago when they were planning to replace every window in the whole building, an inspection revealed the roof needed work and the reserve helped pay for that) - also, we have three retail spaces on the ground floor of the building - when those spaces are empty (as one was for the past year or so after the restuarant closed abruptly), the money we pay monthly helps cover the cost of the mortgage for those spaces, which is typically covered by the business that leases from our building

i don't know how long you'll be here and what you might be interested in as far an non-pride related things goes, but i always recommend checking out the transit museum - it's in an unused subway station in brooklyn and is a great look at the history of the subway, including tons of old cars - also, economy candy and essex market on the lower east side are fun spots to check out - for more touristy but outdoors options, the highline is a nice walk, and there's a restaurant on a boat at the end - also, there are cruises around manhattan that go during the day or at sunset that are incredible, and really give you a beautiful view of the city - in brooklyn there are a whole ton of other things - vintage shopping, a unique gin bar i love (and a whisky bar that will knock your socks off), flea markets, good music venues - i could go on and on i've been in the city for a long time and have tons of ideas if anyone else needs suggestions (especially non-pride related things) - and, of course, i'm around if you'd like some company while you're running around nyc (or after, when you need to unwind!) for pride-related activities, i'll be attending the queer liberation march instead of the "official" parade - otherwise, i'm not into the parties so much

i haven't read all the responses so forgive me if this has been said, but i always advise anyone who wants to get into the gym or change their diet or anything to spend time also working on your perceptions about bodies. it's admirable to want to get in shape and be fit, but thinking that a "nice" body means the same thing to everyone or that it will confer some special peace or acceptance or finally make you like your body, you're mistaken. (this isn't just you - we all work in this system where there's tacit agreement about what is attractive, despite each of us knowing that there is no universal "perfect" body, and then we don't question this agreement and we work so damn hard to try and meet the standard that we blindly have agreed to, criticizing and blaming and hating ourselves when we "fail") anyway, when it comes to the practical stuff about working out, i would always advise listening to what @Rudynate has to say - he's got great insight, a practical view, his methods work (they are similar to mine and i'm happy with the results), and he walks the walk - he's fucking ripped!

shame, guilt, and fear - that's why. i've been sexually active for a long fucking time and this whole switcharoo thing is not new at all. it's much easier to lie, attempt to manipluate, and refuse to communicate than it is to confront your own shit, so that's what people do.

i don't change my rate if i'm hired along with other working guys, and (to the best of my knowledge) none of the guys i have been hired with have changed their rate. an hour is an hour is an hour. but, i do find that more people (clients or escorts or both) typically means more time than a 1-1 encounter for maximum satisfaction of all involved.

those "other factors" can be big ones - the cycle of poverty is powerful, and a huge barrier to food for lots of people - combine that with life in a food desert and/or inadequate knowledge, and good luck trying to tell people to "go vegan" once again, PETA is just mis-directing resources to make some SJW porn - if they truly cared about people looking towards a more plant-based diet, they'd teach folks what that means, how to find food, how to cook it, etc AND they would do work to increase access to these products by financially supporting communities in need - instead they just fall back on fear tropes about sex