pubic_assistance

Absolutely adorable. But I wonder if his presence on RM is more to direct traffic to his OnlyFans.

Sounds more like a new boyfriend who's not 100% comfortable with the particulars of the profession.

The guy is definitely "on the spectrum".

You probably would have figured it out. Even the most simple communications are weird.

I would tend to agree with that statement. The issue of party boys is also why I immediately delete any profile on Grindr or Rent.men etc that even discreetly mentions partying.

I'm sure there are plenty of "party boys" who lose track of their meds for days at a time while snorting meth and "taking loads". But - Those aren't the only people contracting HIV while on PreP. If you take it without missing a dose your chances of infection are small. However research shows that only 50% of the population of gay men who are prescribed the drug take it every day without fail.

Yes. Pharmaceutical company says 99% effective. Independent studies put it around 89% to 92% depending on the study. No one saying its not effective. But the drug industry makes it sound like a miracle. There is always a small risk of failure. Obviously skipping doses is your own failure not the drug.

LOTS of "undetectable" 20-somethings out there when you look around on Grindr. These kids are all getting a rough lesson about pharmaceutical companies. THEY LIE.

"I don’t do wrong to anyone ever" ...so then why bring this up ? 🤔

I think its possible that if @lseactuary90 is meeting and trying to date other 30-something men exclusively there may be a lot of indifference when the possibilities seem endless. Young sexually active people don't always prioritize relationships until something really clicks in an extraordinary way.

What I meant is that I don't think he's getting past a first date...so there's no "worry" component of limmerance since they can't leave him if they aren't even following up for a second date. But it's also not clear that he's meeting anyone he particularly WANTS to date. So basically searching for a moment of mutual cathexis to occur. Always elusive ..but eventually possible.

I think you're referring to cathexis..which is the more natural state of "falling for someone". Limmerance is a more obsessive state where you compulsively adore someone and worry they don't love you in return. It sounds like @lseactuary90 hasn't quite gotten past cathexis with anyone enough to be obsessing over them leaving him.

There are definitely exceptions, because I have dated many men and women who are non-white. When I was younger I was good looking enough to get whatever I wanted. I dated several wonderful people ...and never felt that I was held up as superior simply because I was white. (Possible that I missed that)...but I don't think so. I was attractive/ they were attractive. The subsequent relationships always felt balanced in regard to who was "valued". I can say that I've always dated outside my own CULTURE since I was in college...and i know THAT can be a challenge no matter what your skin color.

Super cute...but sadly I'm on the wrong coast. Looks promising for the California crowd.

I recently chatted with a handsome young man (24) on Grindr who claimed he was on PreP for 5 years but is now poz because he was irregular about his doses.

Is this a problem for P.o.c. dating white men or other P.o.c. ?

Well of those three places, the only Spanish speaking destination is P.R. in Mexico. Although Catalan and Portuguese speakers will often understand Spanish

Ok. Let's look at THAT. What feels like systemic racism about your dating history ? 🤔 There are definitely people who fetishize ethnic groups with little interest in the challenges of crossing the aisle to learn about other people's culture in a relationship.

Are all your friends from LA ?

I wasnt referring to escorts. I was talking about my random hook ups with straight-identifying friends-of-friends.

NYC is a giant candy store. There's people from everywhere here. Moving isn't likely going to solve your problem. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places ? Hook up sites are for hooking up. Dating sites for dating. Sexually active people sometimes forget about "normal" ways to meet people. You said you're not sexually attracted after a friend's-first relationship. Maybe start looking at THAT. Why is a "friend" sexually uninteresting ? What is in that sexual connection that isn't satisfied when someone is already there with you ? Are you expecting too much up front ? Looking to be swept off your feet romantically and sexually ? As we mature we realize that's not always going to be our destiny...so we settle for what works and makes adjustments in life to keep it working. Hollywood often fills us with unrealistic goals in romance.

What happened ? Did you fly him on Spirit ? 🤣

Handsome. Seems to have quite a repertoire of sexual satisfaction available..including "electro stimulation".

You're a class-act @BaronArtz

I think the overarching principle is that everyone agrees on is that you need to provide some down-time for your friend to be "off the clock". Yes. You're paying him to be attentive, but you're hiring a human, not a robot. We all need time to decompress and disengage from others. All the rest should obviously be discussed up front so there are no feelings of your expectations being dashed. But communicate what you would LIKE, not what you EXPECT. Let your friend have some input about his limits.