Rudynate

I didn't say I had the answers to your problems, I encouraged you to look within to find the source of your problems. And I freely admit that I was speculating. I submit, though, that it was informed speculation, based on your ongoing complaints about your clientele. The fact that you reacted angrily, rather than reading carefully, is just more evidence that you are the source of your own problems.

He seems like a timewaster. In my business I encounter them all the time. I don’t waste too much thought on them.

is it even possible to send a telegram any more?

That's a gentler conversation, but, to me, also a different conversation.

What I have noticed with you and your frustrations about your business is that the client is always the problem. I'm wondering what would happen if you tried assuming that you, somehow, were the problem. And I don't pretend to know that this would work, but it might be illuminating to assume that you, ultimately, are the source of your client problems. I'm not saying that's true, but it might be a productive way to look at it.

I've been playing with the idea. I get enough requests to make me think there's a market for daddy escorts my age. I don't need the money, but if I can get my mind right, I think it would be great fun, and I certainly wouldn't mind a little extra cash. I saw an ad not long ago for a guy who made the switch from client to provider, but he was quite a bit younger than I am.

Even though I was attracted to him, I could never warm up to him because I was suspicious of him. Who knows what would have happened if I was more receptive - I might be dead or I might have a great story to tell about the mad affair that I had with a closeted bad boy in high school.

If you knew the guy, it makes perfect sense-a deeply conflicted young man

I had sort of a crush on a bad boy in high school. He was a year older than most of us because he had been held back a grade. And he was always getting in trouble - in middle school, he got drunk one weekend and broke into the school and went on a rampage, doing a lot of damage. The first time I saw him in the shower - I was almost overcome - he already had a mature manly body and his ass was really hairy. I had never seen a hairy ass before and I was initially shocked but got over soon enough. I used to beat off at home thinking about his hairy ass. One time we were swimming relays and he and I were on the same team. I was standing behind him, and he suddenly turned and looked at me, put an arm on my shoulder and said, "You're really a nice kid." I was in heaven. Another time, he came and sat with me at lunch. I didn't know what to do about all this attention so I just didn't do anything. Ultimately, he ended up going to reform school for beating a gay man to death at a cruisy spot in a local park.

I tried an experiment awhile ago. I wanted to see if I could get an exhibitionist charge out of flexing for somebody that I wasn't that into. This guy approached me on A4A and wanted to see me flex. I went over to his house. He was a nice guy but I wasn't into him sexually. I started posing and flexing and he started beating off. He licked my biceps and sniffed my armpits and I had him punch me in the gut quite a bit. Occasionally, when I'm really inspired, I can come up with pretty good dirty talk, but I wasn't feeling it with him. I did enjoy having an audience - just a little. And it was somewhat gratifying that he sat there and got it off while I showed off for him. But there was no sexual thrill. He's asked me a couple times to come back. So that was my first foray into flexing. Bodybuilders are very into having the right mindset. I have been playing with it recently and I can adopt a confident mindset pretty well. Maybe I could learn a slutty mindset.

I start out soft, but I’m the same way- zero to 60 in no time, no restraint.

Guys go there to suck and fuck. They don’t normally go there to suck fuck just one guy but a succession of guys. You decide- is that “hygienic?” Are they clean? The last time I went to the Steamworks it was very clean- for a bathhouse. Would I want to have a sterile procedure done there? Probably not.

I can’t imagine there aren’t some guys doing it. I wouldnt. It could become your personal superspreader event.

AFAIK he isn't a sex worker - it's just a day of shopping and lunch with a very sexy, but probably unattainable, straight guy. And it wasn't inexpensive- as I remember, he charged $2K for the day. I thought it sounded great - his attention totally on me for an entire day while running around Atlanta shopping for clothes. I looked at his website recently to see if he still did it, but I didn't see any mention of it. He has a much bigger reputation and following now so maybe he doesn't have time for a high-touch service like that. I've looked at a lot of his videos. I think one of the most useful was when he taught how to groom your stomach hair to give yourself a happy trail. I still do it - and it looks totally convincing.

Do the looks actually fade, or do they just change?

Agree-those young fathers really get your attention

Silverdaddies has been very good to a friend of mine. He has met some great-looking young guys and actually met his partner of 10 years or so on there - there's approximately a 30-year difference in their ages

Yes, but it's the new part of SOMA. There's been an enormous amount of construction in that part of the city. Another neighborhood that's in that area you might like is Dogpatch.

SOMA (south of Market Street area) is probably still the best place for you to find the kind of vibe I think you're looking for. Potrero Hill might also be good. You might also like the DuBoce Triangle. But San Francisco has become very homogenous, compared to the way it used to be. And of course the pandemic has had a profound effect on the way people live here. So nothing is really the same.

I don't know what the therapeutic dose is for NG, but I had to have it once. At that time, the protocol was to give oral and injection. I had serious diarrhea for days afterward.

We live in a society in which racism is institutionalized - it pervades everything. Given that, of course it will find it's way into male-on-male sex work. Perfectly well meaning clients will, by reflex, treat a black provider differently - because they have been programmed to do so, not because they have any animus toward the black provider. My heart is completely in the right place with respect to questions on race. In spite of that, I monitor myself carefully in interactions with people of color because those unconscious biases can suddenly make themselves known - they may even seem quite innocent at the time. For example, some months ago I was talking with the branch manager of my bank - an American-born Chinese. He speaks several languages - Japanese, Mandarin and Cantonese. I commented that I really liked the sound of Mandarin when it was being spoken by an American who knew it well better than the sound of a native speaker. It occurred to me later that that was sort of a tone-deaf remark - throwing shade on an entire language that only sounded good when it was being spoken by Americans. I hired a black provider a while ago and met him at his hotel. When I arrived, he wasn't quite ready and texted me to wait in the lobby for ten minutes. I was annoyed and would have been annoyed if a white provider had asked me to do the same thing. But later, I thought my irritation was way out of proportion to what had happened, and was willing to examine whether that was an unconscious racial bias popping up. I was deeply affected by an episode of Geraldo that aired in the late 80s. The topic was racism. He had a panel of black guys - academics, therapists, that sort of person. The panel was taking questions from the audience and a young white guy stood up and talked about how wracked with guilt he was about his own unconscious racism and didn't know what he could do about it. One of the panelists responded, "It's not your fault. You are a product of a racist system so you can't help but be racist." He also said, "I'm a product of the same system, so I have all of those unconscious biases that you do, and I'm black." So each and every one of has the responsibility to decide whether we are going to be used by these impulsive biases or whether to exercise the self-awareness that allows us to act another way.

I would think part of the calculus for the escort would be how long is the appointment? He’s more likely to say yes to someone who is hiring for a weekend than he would be to someone who is hiring for an hour.

I'm fine with being called daddy. sometimes younger men ask me how I want to be addressed. I prefer "boss" or "papi."

It's very individual. I like men of all ages, but I think I have a preference for older guys, but not older guys as a type. I especially go for older men who are very fit. But that's not an absolute - sometimes somebody who's kind of heavy trips my trigger. Sometimes I get a boner over a man in his 70s. I have pretty much discarded my checklist and let my dick tell me whether or not a guy is sexy.

If he has the client's permission, I don't see anything wrong with it. If he doesn't, it is very invasive and he's being extremely presumptuous.