Rudynate

If you are already taking offense at some of the quirks of this business, you might be in for a rough ride.

If the goal is to be buff and muscular you pretty have to go to the gym, or have a good assortment of equipment at home and it takes hard work. If you just want to be HWP, much less effort is required. You still have to increase your activity level, and you still have to reduce your food intake and it still requires commitment. If you hate exercise, it doesn't mean that you're doomed. It just means that, for you, that is an obstacle that has to be negotiated. Others may not be bothered by that obstacle.

I knew it was always a longshot - too many moving parts. I was one of the moving parts, actually. On the one hand it was an attractive proposition, but I didn't think my husband would be on board with me going off every few months to spend a weekend with these guys.

What is this problem that no one seems to understand?

Agreed. I've never understood his appeal.

I find Ryan Gosling and Tom Cruise facially attractive but I'm not wild about their builds. I'm more of a body guy than a face guy so that rules them out for me. I think George Clooney is one of the best-looking men ever. I have a mental list of celebrities I would like to have lunch with and George Clooney is right at the top.

She's insecure and feels threatened by the competence you bring to your job.

They might be more noteworthy now since people are so isolated from each other by the pandemic.

Aren't they called "human interest stories?" I agree - the media love to cover good deeds.

You need to keep looking. There are guys out there who can help you feel special and desirable, but you have to do your part. It's a bit like enjoying a movie - it takes some suspension of disbelief.

Me too.

What's the worst that could happen?

I like 'em all. Any skin tone, any ethnicity. I interact with a lot of black guys on hookup sites. Nothing usually comes up regarding ethnicity, race or skin color. I hire blacks and whites - more whites than blacks. I had an interesting interaction a couple years ago. Two black guys reached out to me on A4A. They were both on the DL, wives and families, and they had had this relationship with each other for several years, where they got together for a weekend a few times a year. They hit me up because they liked my profile and they both like white daddies and they wanted to bring me into their relationship as a third. I was very interested, but as usually happens on hookup sites, it ended up going nowhere.

I have, on occasion, met with other forum members. I really enjoyed it, glad I did it.

My parents are both dead. My father died more than 30 years ago. I was devastated by his loss - I was sad and depressed for months - it was beginning to get scary. Then one morning I was thinking about it and I remembered that everyone loses their parents and they all get through it. After that, I was fine in a day or two. My mother died about 8 years ago. On the surface, it didn't seem to bother me that much, but whenever I talked about her, I involuntarily teared up. I didn't want to be breaking out in tears in front of others, so I just stopped talking about it. I'm sure a mental health professional would say that stuffing your grief is not a good way to deal with it, but it seemed to work for me. I've found that the less I talk about difficult events in my life, the more quickly I forget about them.

I cancelled a trip to NOLA last weekend. I'm not that worried about my own health - but my husband has HIV and absolutely will not fly. If I had to completely miss the event I was planning to attend, I might have gone, but as it was, I was able to attend virtually.

A good personal coach could help get everything sorted.

Lot's of people don't like cops, and might resent being inconvenienced by a cop's funeral. And their hostility to cops doesn't have anything to do with race. Your inference that her remark was racially motivated doesn't seem warranted.

And currently owned by Rupert Murdoch.

It's a mine field - offering advice/opinion. I only speak frankly if someone says, "I really want to know." Of course, when I'm being paid to give advice, I speak freely. In my personal life, the only ones who spontaneously get my unvarnished opinion are my husband and very old friends.

Agree completely. I'm a big believer in not offering unsolicited advice. Even when someone asks for advice, I assume that they actually are looking for me to tell them what they want to hear so I offer advice very gingerly.

I take my meals along if I'm going to be gone for more than a day or two. I don't want to eat nothing but restaurant food for several days in a row. I order them from a company called Flexpro. They come frozen and packed in a box with foam insulation. I have a small duffel bag. I line the duffel bag with the foam insulation and pack the meals in it. And they are fine short or non-stop flights. I make sure I have a refrigerator and microwave in my room and I get utentsils from the hotel. I have never tried this on a flight with a layover.

Often, they don't know that they are obese. In the 80's, I didn't have a weight problem but my diet was frightfully bad - I had entire days when I ate nothing but sugar. I began to think I had an eating disorder because I had such gluttonous eating habits - I couldn't eat just one cookie, for example, I kept eating them until I felt sick. I tried a few OA meetings hoping to get some control over what I ate. Several times I heard REALLY large people (sometimes weighing over 300#) say that they didn't realize how bad their weight problem was until they came to OA - that until then they thought they just had a few pounds to lose. Denial is a wonderful thing.

I agree if you're looking for sex - it's a hunt. As with any hunt - be it for elk or duck or horny men, you often come up empty-handed. If you're looking for love, it takes different skills, different venues. It is true that most people "look for love in all the wrong places." It is my belief that if you find love, you appreciate for the rare thing it is and you take care of it. It isn't impossible to find love on a hookup app or in a sex club - I had a friend who met the love of his life at Blow Buddies. The odds are against it, though.

My dad had CHF and end-stage kidney disease - He was on a VERY restricted regimen. He wasn't allowed even sips of water - just sucking on ice chips. He just wasn't up to transitioning from a live-to-eat guy to a eat-to-live guy, so all the changes were very difficult for him. I am on lifetime anti-coagulation for a clotting disorder. For 13 or 14 years I took coumadin, which is a very difficult drug to take - there are dietary restrictions and you have to have regular blood testing. At first the changes were difficult, but as I integrated them, it became easier, and seeing how compliant I could be became a small source of satisfaction. I got so that I only needed to go into the lab for testing once a month.