Walker1

I hear what you’re saying. It’s all valid. However, when you say kids, pets, family, etc...not everyone has that. It’s easy to fall back on and build a life once those default things are in place. I also know of a guy who has an older daughter as well...and even though we’ve talked of meeting, I’m telling myself I don’t want to go back down that “path” again: Namely one where I’m playing 2nd base. So, my options will certainly involve others outside of that.

 

My question: what do you think you’d be if you didn’t have the kids, family and dog to center you? Not saying that to imply those values are “material”, but hypothetically: if you didn’t, how do you think your world would be different?

 

I personally don’t have any kids. Pets aren’t a good option right now either, because I’ve been out of my own place for going on 2 years now, and trying to race to get back into one. And most places make it pretty undesirable to move in with a pet, on top of everything else. No desire to have kids (and why would I considering everything) I know there are guys who can play the role of family man, and single gay guy.

 

But in my opinion, it’s capitalizing on the “system”. Not just money either. And rightfully advantageous in doing so. With kids you get tax dependents, and a broader social horizon. You can be the “respected” family man that this country is so infatuated with, but in the same vein, the “gay men” out here having kids knowing they are gay, is throwing biologically gay and “out” men under the bus...making it seem like gay men without kids don’t have responsibilities, have lesser importance and contribute less to “the family society”, and are selfish and can’t take care of anyone but themselves. Meanwhile, reaping all the benefits of being a “family man” on the side.

 

I’m not citing that all gay guys who have kids are doing it for a gain, but I do many want their cake and eat it too. They want gay camaraderie, on the side when it’s convenient for them. And some may even want it long term and are consistent. But anytime you have kid in the mix, it’s almost like having to contend with another partner. Like the guy I’ve been talking to since we first hooked up earlier this year said to me yesterday, “I can’t meet, I’m going out of town with my daughter for the weekend”. How does one interpret that? I’m supposed to feel like..nothing about it? You said it right: “my kids come first and because of that, I don’t have a desire to be in a relationship.”

 

And that’s exactly what happens. Some want to have 1 foot out the door. Half being family man, other half being gay man. That's fine for client/escort arrangements. But in regular situations, it's not going to work being 1 in the same, unless both parties actually move in together. Which I've seen happen. But I always feel some sort of way about the one who moves into that situation, ultimately playing substitute mother or father to the person's kids.

 

No Thankyou. I ain't about being bamboozled into becoming some live in babysitter for nobody. Obviously if the person had adult sons or daughters, that could make a difference. Or not.

It really depends. If I didn't have kids, I might have moved to some place in nature, have long walks, travel a lot , keep friends. I may not have reached out to my family as I was hurt by their attitude when I was gay. No abuse or conversion therapy such-but my family is ostrich head in sand-just do what you do as long as you do in private and don't rock the boat. What will people think? Now they have evolved and grown. My old gay scene lifestyle was killing me in the inside. I had to move on-not from being gay, but from that persona I had built and taken on and find a way to live without that stress.

Tax benefits and kids-thanks for the laugh -those tax benefits are a drop in the bucket when compared to actual expenses. It is upto the individual how you want to lead your life . Life is short and this country at least being gay is not a crime-other countries you can be put in jail for it. Now the supreme court has actually ruled gays and transgender are protected from being fired due to our sexuality-so one more step for us.

But you have to figure out what your interests are, where you can be yourself and do you really need a relationship or perhaps friends/hobbies that you never thought of, but sounds interesting -say kite flying or knitting and meet people you would never meet and who don't look at you from that sexual angle or your sexuality or such. Whether in a relationship or outside, all of us need to let loose and be ourselves without all the outer shell.

And that's 100% fine (pardon if the rating I gave your post comes off as a dislike, just referring to the general idea).

 

Why does it have to be a Disney way of things when it pertains to gays though? Why do I have to be out here, can't even fucking have a movie date or Saturday night plans, when straight people out here are going out on dates and shit? Yes, I Agree many marriages are for practical reasons. But at the same time, I'm not talking about marriage lol. I'm talking about consistency.

 

It says a lot when somebody can connect with me on a sexual level, but yet can't seem to turn it into anything substantial. Does this person not like ANYTHING else about me? Or did they? If someone feels like no desire or prerogative to at-least feel like wanting to be seen with me outside of the bed, then I might as well stick with paid appointments. I'm not looking for a notch on my belt, I'm hoping for a connection outside of clients... it doesn't have to be marriage, but at-least an attraction that carries some type of friendship.

 

I'll say, this used to be a little more common circa 2000-2005. Guys would at-least put some kinda effort into making the other gay feel human. Nowadays, they don't even try. Worse yet, they rub it your face...no tact. No class. Just trash.

Again it depends on what you are looking for and the circumstances. There is really not much difference between straights and gays once you have kids. Kids become priority-you can't dump them in a kennel and go off to Ibiza for a party for two weeks and come back. In my circumstance, it is one of the reason I struggle to get a gay relationship-my kids come first and as they should-I chose to have them-as a single parent no less.

Another thing-I don't know how good looking you are, that plays into it. When I look at a very good looking dude, I am hardly thinking -oh wow what a great candidate for a long term relationship. It is like a beautiful rose that you want to possess. Unfortunately the interest wanes when the next beautiful rose comes along.

Long term escort client relationships are different than long term relationships. I have had 1 maybe another one I had would qualify . There is a big element of control-client controls money, time and circumstances. There is no expectation escort not sleep with others. Escort is usually on his best behavior-you don't show up and say I have a headache , not in the mood. Or show up in sloppy clothes, drunk, high, throwing up with dysentery and expect client to take care of you and nurse you back.

They say the brain is the biggest sex organ . Sex with an image-a buff body/type/look is just that. you have a fantasy or some thing that gets you going and that is what you are having it. That that fantasy is an actual human who beyond the muscles and looks and type is a human with faults, likes/dislikes just like anyone else is unfortunately beyond the point. Now a true connection is something else. but that I have had just when I am in nature, with my kids , dog, friends, sometimes just hiking and with the trees.

Sometimes when you desire/lust after a fantasy -muscle god/twink/whatever -you don't want the whole picture. Its why it is easier for me to pay for sex and then move on. I don't have time for apps and games and such. It also gives you a sense of control in this crazy world.

I myself am not in a relationship. But due to kids, I hang out mostly in the straight world, as my world revolves around them/ their friends and their parents/PTA etc for now. But I am not seeing this magical deep connections you see in the moves. All types -some men who at jealous of their wives attention to their own kids, women who cheat and had a kid with another man and passed it off as the husband's, couples who are open, couples who don't have sex and are fine if one cheats, couples who are great and happy, couples who can't stand each other, couples who can't being apart from each other even more than a day etc. it runs the gamut.

But one thing, when you are together a long time -the mask/persona drops. I myself when I was in the gay scene was a fat femme who adopted a drag queen persona. not that I sat there consciously and thought it up-it just was the easiest way for me to cope , being femme, somewhat fat by gay standards and in a new city. I had hoped to be welcomed into a new gay family and instead it was like falling into hard concrete. Put on what I thought made me popular-or infamous-but got me attention and "friends" . but friends who related to me on a persona level-not me. That isn't their fault. Same way if someone is gorgeous or musclebound-I am sure you get people who are attracted to that and that only and not the whole. Hey this whole site is more or less dedicated to the gorgeous men and the men who love them!

For me , having kids, reconnecting with family helped me tremendously. They knew who I was from the day I was born. They might not have approved me being gay, but now almost all have come around and it really doesn't bother them. many have had divorces, child custody wars, bankruptcies, suicides, addictions etc etc-that me being gay and having kids through scientific means seems to be a very minor issue in comparison. Surprisingly it is easier for me to be a whole being as these people know everything about me-from the day I was born, my likes, my dislikes and my kids also have cousins etc.

If you are consistently missing something -a deep close connection-good for you. That is what drove me to my path of kids and back to family. However that may be poison to you-as they say one man's meat is another man's poison. But I was very depressed with my persona as that had become me and my whole friends and circle revolved around said persona and not me. Perhaps find out something else, hobbies, go to meet up groups that are not sexual in nature-but expand and meet people that you might not normally meet and who may not care about things like looks or gay or straight. One thing I learnt is you can't change the world-even if you can-it will change again-it never stands still. instead for me figuring out what works for me and accepting others for what or who they are has brought happiness . There are a lot of avenues that allow you to meet people who you may never give a second glance . it may not lead to a relationship, but you can get more people in your life, where you can be yourself -warts and all-and not always be someone. It is relaxing. Relationships -no magic bullet-there are all kinds-some people spend a lifetime in misery too!

I think one has to be practical. Many marraiges are/were for practical reasons. Welfare and social safety nets are one or two or maybe three generations old. before that family trumped everything . There was division of labor. Many countries of the world still function that way, with men and women having their roles-especially child care/home/earnings. Many third world countries men go out and earn money in other countries and stay there for years supporting their families.

This whole Disney concept of the one and such is new. Sure we had fairy tales and fables -but they were fairy tales and fables. In the end, even in the best relationships, one grows old and dies and leaves the other alone. Plus no one is perfect. In today's world especially it seems we live in ether -like some fairy tale. There is almost a rabid hatred of things not upto our standards. It is what it is. I have a circle of friends, my kids, all have their foibles, we accept each other warts and all. I would like a wonderful gay relationship, but somehow am not able to get past just the sex thing. but I know several of my straight couple friends who haven't had sex in years -so it is what it is. I think my world is more than half full-if I meet someone, I meet someone. if not I have my kids, dog, my circle of friends and family-so no worries.

Maybe you might meet someone where the sex is lousy and have something on the side. Lot of old school family values types had that lifestyle -down low. A wife and family for the community and a side piece for the excitement. Such is life-we don't know if it will be our last day when we step out of our house. The more I realize I can't make sense of life and accept it, the happier I am !

Monkey see, monkey do me?!!

Straight men and women have affairs too. A close friend of mine got his heart broken when he found out the daughter he loved wasn't his biologically, but from his wife's lover. It happens. Just because someone is a parent doesn't make them an enlightened all knowing being. Unless someone is a monster, accepting others for who they are -warts and all-and moving on with your life makes life far more easier and lighter.

I was debating whether to post this song as it might turn off most...but to go along with the straight up theme of yours *pun intended lol*

 

Haha-some more of those In your face horny songs. I like all forms of art-soul, rap, R and B, pop. The only thing I don't like that much is country western . but these songs at ejust so in your face, no apologies-so fun -especially if you are looking ot get into the groove and have fun.

What a song and what lyrics!! Lyrics included in this version! No double entrade-just straight up!

People marry others for money or power or fame . I doubt Meghan Markle would have married Prince Harry, if he were a balding ginger bus driver living in a trailer park with not a cent to his name and with trailer park relatives. People work in jobs for years or decades that they hate and spend the majority of their day there. I don't see how a few hours of sex with people you may or may not like is any more or less than the choices most of us make and live with every day. Plenty of non sex workers who are damaged too.

Maybe as we age, we lose some virility -without viagara and want a hot young stud to take you?

Is it even possible to have an effective vaccine. I have gotten flu shots every year and still occasionally come down with the flu. If this virus is in the same family, will it even be possible to create a vaccine or is it just a dream everyone is working towards?? SARS and the other virulent strains seemed to have disappeared?

That top is an invitation to come suck his nips!

Jokes aside, if this continues longer , we could be in for some trouble. I tried to order some non essential items from Amazon and my delivery date was June2nd to June 26th. If I chose express delivery, it would be May 22- May 28th and today is 4/22. I have never seen dates like that on Amazon. I don't know how long of this we can take, before the whole supply chain crumbles.

Wow he is only 41.

Apart from the hurt feelings , you got away lightly for just 150 bucks. I was reading an article about someone who was scammed 10s of thousands by one the women he met on those mail order bride companies.

"The Dawson County Sheriff's Office arrested nine men during a three-day sting using Grindr, charging them with a host of misdemeanors and felonies after aggressively pursuing at least one of the men on the hookup app."

https://www.projectq.us/atlanta/Nine_men_arrested_in_Grindr_sex_sting_in_North_Georgia

Idiots. These people were just trying to hook up and that smug POS Sherriff decided to do something to justify his salary and pension. I honestly don't know why the US is so backwards in sex and drug laws.

Wow-where is that? I don't see such sights in the streets I frequent?!

China seems to have lifted travel restrictions in Wuhan?

I found this bisexual porn quite hot!

https://www.xvideos.com/video52665367/bisex_redheads

There may be a drug:

https://nypost.com/2020/03/19/old-malaria-drug-hydroxychloroquine-may-help-cure-coronavirus-study/

 

If expanded tests work.....

Since it is a malaria drug and been there a long time, perhaps it won't need much extensive trials for safety, side effects-as plenty of people take malaria drugs. Hopefully they try out more expansively and this becomes a memory.

I'm adding this as an amendment to the above. Again, I think if we want to know whether we are heading into a recession or a Great Depression, the best thing to do is ask a scientist, not an economist. I posted a different part of this long interview in a different thread.

 

Dr. Fauci is a straight shooter. The answer to whether we will have a Great Depression or not is ................... we don't know. But we know what we can do to tip the scale to the recession end. The good news is that other countries have proven they can suppress or mitigate this in a few months:

 

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1102777/south-korea-covid-19-daily-new-cases/

 

It's not great news that in the last few days the number of new cases in South Korea have inched up a little. But the US as a whole is now diagnosing over 1000 new cases a day, which was the peak in South Korea back in late February before they hunkered down.

 

HH: Now Dr. I want to close with you, and Senator Cotton’s coming up pretty quick. But the big unanswered question, because I don’t know that many members of the White House press corps have actually read The Great Influenza, is that between its appearance in Kansas in the spring of 1918 and its devastating second wave, it went through 12 iterations according to John Barry’s book. And the second and third and fourth, they got deadlier. The hardest question for me to answer is during the summer when the virus appears to disappear, will it be iterating into a more deadly virus? Is there any science to tell us if we’re like getting crowd immunity, or if it’s going to come back in a more virulent form?

 

AF: You know, we do not know. When we suppressed the SARS Coronavirus, it went away and never came back. We are hoping that if we can suppress this by mitigation and by containment over the next few months that when we get into the deep summer, that it will disappear. If it doesn’t and comes back, hopefully, that will give us more breathing room to develop therapies as well as a vaccine. But the direct answer to your question is we do not know if it will come back and how it will come back. It’s a possibility, but we just need to be prepared for it.

 

 

I'll springboard off what Dr. Fauci said and suggest an optimistic way to think about this. The worst case scenario is that there will be a second, and even deadlier wave, this Fall. But it pretty much can't get worse than Ebola or AIDS, as far as mortality to untreated individuals goes. So let's assume that happens.

 

We don't know when we will have "herd immunity", which is a term scientists generally use to describe the purpose of a vaccine. It's up to us whether we have herd intelligence. It's completely up to us. And that is exactly why South Korea was on this quicker than most. They've been through this before, fairly recently. In effect, the acquired herd intelligence.

 

If we can get this genie back in the bottle, the optimistic view is that like China and South Korea and Singapore we will be far better prepared to not let it back out.

Perhaps. But everything is at a peak. Housing, stocks just a month ago. Housing hasn't even started its descent and it does a lot slower. Is the DOW done or just a half way down? I am lucky I sold my rental property-horrible property taxes, no appreciation and everyone fleeing the state and this was before this pandemic. But worldwide, it is a bit different. Travel between Europe and the US had been shut down and many countries have instituted travel bans to other countries. India for example has banned everybody but their citizens-because they have very few cases-mostly from people returning from abroad and want to keep it that way. At the very least it will impact a few quarters. Will it just go back up or if housing starts going down-who knows. My entire company is working remote-bar extremely essential personal -who knows for how long. Companies might enjoy this curtailment of business travel and may eye smaller workspaces and make it semi permanent. Restaurants that are closed for a month or two still have to pay rent, loans etc -just a mess. It is not the old days of WWII where cash was king. Now everything is credit and our country is borrowing trillions. Who knows how this ends.

Or we may become like Europe or Japan with no growth and who really knows? Of course one point is usually when I panic the bottom is near and when I get comfortable the top is near !

I am just wondering if this is going to be another Great Depression?

Ugh, why???

Because I didn't know if there would be rolls when I needed them. I have never seen the toilet paper aisle empty, save a few rolls. So I figure might as well load up . Probably what everyone else is doing!

The biggest emergency is the toilet paper shortage! I can't believe the local Target was almost out of toilet paper and of course that got me spooked and I loaded up on the remaining rolls along with other last minute shoppers!

Just young and bubbly and full of life. Let him have his fun, he will get to being cynical, jaded and a what difference does it make attitude someday . Hopefully not, but most likely will. Let him enjoy till then! Whoever said ignorance is bliss was very wise. It is why when I hire they have to be at least 30 soemthing-need the maturity.