Bosguy

Ah, what the hek, here'sne to start out the week with a chuckle..

 

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up.

Sam didn't think much about it, and figured maybe he had a cold or something.

But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.

However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know

where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day,

Sam approached the park and lo and behold, there sat Russ.!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him, and told him so.

Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you.?'

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.'

'Jail!' cried Sam.

What in the world for.?'

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue , that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop, where I sometimes go.?'

 

 

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her.

What about her.?

'Well, one day she filed rape charges

against me, and at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.

'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'

Thanks Ed.

So cute! I can just picture the park setting.

Boston Bill

You guys are truly what the Forum was meant to be. A group of men who find humor in life--no matter what.

Thanks,

Boston Bill

Now see Jack...that is exactly why I never got married......well.....it's not the only reason, but you get the picture.

It's never too late BVB. The Palm Springs guys will chip in and get you face cream and a case of bud. Anything for you

Boston Bill

Once again, Thank you so much for instilling humor in our lives. SO IMPORTANT!!!!!!

Bigvalboy. I don't know if you're the new George Burns or Gracie Allen, but you are a breath of fresh air

Boston Bill

[video=youtube;Nti08LWtxJI]

A true classic. Can you imagine learning those lines and being able to perform them?

I think Jackhammer and Oliver should recreate this skit in PS.

Boston Bill

He was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that he normally slept in.

 

As I walked in, almost awake, he turned to me and said softly,

"You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

 

My eyes lit up and I thought,

"I am either still dreaming Or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced him and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

 

Afterwards he said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, his T-shirt still around his neck.

 

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

 

He explained, "The egg timer is broken."[/color][/size][/font]

One of my most memorable encounters with a working guy was both of us cooking a meal in the kitchen and alternating cooking with unbelievable sex in every part of the kitchen, including the table. Hot memory, but now everytime I think of it, I'll think of THE EGG TIMER!!!!

Thanks again

Boston Bill

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

 

'1'

Blaming your farts on me....

not funny... not funny at all !!!

 

--------------------------------------------------

'2'

Yelling at me for barking.

I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

 

------------------------------------------------- -

'3'

Taking me for a walk, then

not letting me check stuff out.

Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

 

-------------------------------------- ------------

'4 '

Any trick that involves balancing

food on my nose. Stop it!

 

--------------------------------------------------

'5'

Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.

Now you know why we chew your stuff

up when you're not home.

 

--------------------------------------------------

'6'

The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.

You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what

a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

 

--------------------------------------------------

'7'

Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip',

then acting surprised when I freak

out every time we go back!

 

--------------------------------------------------

'8'

Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.

Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

 

--------------------------------------------------

'9'

Dog sweaters. Hello ???

Haven't you noticed the fur?

 

--------------------------------------------------

'10'

How you act disgusted when I lick myself.

Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

 

I know it's Saturday, but I couldn't resist this one.

Have you been talking to my little buddy Longfellow? Exactly what I knoww he's saying. Proves that dogs are smarter than men

Thanks

Boston Bill

Another funny clip from the classic CAROL BURNETT SHOW.....

 

 

[video=youtube;PYzuchDBvCs]

[/color][/size][/font]

Another classic from one of the great ones of all time and master of improv

Boston Bill

Have a great weekend!!!! Great guys/great locale.

Boston Bill

JH

Another hilarious post. I read it right before I HAD to go to Walmart. It almost made my visit tolerable.

Boston Bill

I got this in a text today:

 

When three people have sex,

it's called a "threesome".

When two people have sex,

it's called a "twosome".

Now I understand why everyone

calls you "handsome".

I remember when they used to call it "Dating Mary Palm. By the way, you are handsome inside and out.

Boston Bill

A change-up this week if you will permit.

 

I want to take you back to the days of the Carol Burnett show.

One of the fun things was to watch the cast break up at Tim Conway's antics. Vicki Lawrence very seldom lost character but one time she did...

Take 5 minutes of your day and enjoy...

Join Tim, Carol, Vicki and guest star Dick Van Dyke...

It was about elephants....

 

[video=youtube;3qqE_WmagjY]

[/color][/size][/font]

Thanks JH,

I have a sore stomach right now but it's from a good belly laugh provided by a wonderful man!!!!

Boston Bill

Love ya!!!!!!

Boston Bill

Once again. Perfect timing.

If the world only had more Jackhammer's and Oliver's, it would be such a better place!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boston Bill

This was sent in by my friend in Ohio (which may explain the mid-west references) Thanks to him and to all who send me things for the Friday Funnies.

 

 

Three Holy Men and a Bear

 

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains

to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper

Peninsula of Michigan .

 

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk

shop.

 

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really

all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

 

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would

each go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to

convert it to their religion.

 

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

 

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had

various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

 

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I

found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.

So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of

God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to

give him first communion and confirmation.'

 

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and

both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill,

UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle

as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!

 

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying

in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors

running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

 

The Rabbi looked up and said:

 

"Looking back on it, ....

 

circumcision may not have

been the best way to start."

[/color][/size][/font]

My Friday "belly laugh". My poor dog is sitting beside me thinking somethings wrong. Wish I could explain that your posts make EVERYTHING RIGHT

Boston Bill

I guess if I had to choose one of the two dick attributes right now, I'd go with length, but every guy I have been with has the most important attribute "THEY ARE EXPERTS AT USING WHAT THEY HAVE"!!!!!!

Boston Bill

LOL Yes, let me get out my little black book of Jewish escorts. I'm sorry I can't be of help to the rabbi. The last time I identified as Jewish was in 9th grade. I do know some some Jewish people but I'm not sure if my mother is still escorting these days.

I just got a fit of laughter. There are times you can be a real pain in the ass but you are one intelligent, funny man Keep it up

Boston Bill

Hmmph! This coming from "Mr. Pretzel".

Hope you at least mean the big, delicious, hot ones like you get from the street carts in NYC. That's the only reason I go to NYC is to get something big, delicious, and hot.

11 weeks

Boston Bill

One of the top escorts in the country resides in DC. I believe he is Jewish (and definitely do not know if he is orthodox, etc.) but he is a classy gentleman who knows the art of social behavior and sexual prowess. If you're looking for a "boy", you got the wrong guy--if you're looking for a MAN, send me a private message.

Boston Bill

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door,

she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within.

Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you doing?'

 

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years old,

unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever

get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

 

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz

coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door.

Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making

passionate love to her vibrator.To his query as to what she

was doing, the daughter said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried,

and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband.

Please, go away and leave me alone.'

 

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping

trip , placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard

that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room.

She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on

the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.?

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

 

The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'

 

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my son-in-law.'[/color][/size][/font]

Can't stop laughing--since this morning. The last phrase, the father reminded me of my ex father-in-law and the vibrator reminded me of me. Yes, I'm a true twisted individual, but that's what happens for being around Oliver and friends too long

Have a great week

Boston Bill

 

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

 

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

 

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

 

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

 

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

 

"Will you spend this on greens' fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

 

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

 

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

 

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

 

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

 

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

 

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."[/color][/size][/font]

I know it's way past Friday, but today I needed a laugh, so I went to my favorite chair with a glass of wine and turned on my laptop. You see, I knew where to go to find a good laugh. As I was laughing out load, my dog, Longfellow, looked up at me laughing like a fool. I looked back at him and thought "What was I so upset about?"

Thanks for bringing joy into my life once again

Boston Bill

Well the gay and gay friendly neighborhoods are always shifting if at times very slowly.

And where to look and when to look is often difficult to pin down. But that is what makes it so fun.

 

Watching, exploring, street scenes has been an interest of mine since before I moved to Chicago.

Though I'm sort of surprised more people are not interested in it.

 

These scenes are never easy to describe because once the information gets published or posted there

will inevitably be pressure for it to move, change or go deeper underground.

 

Also a whole lot of it is random.

First, I would not venture into exploring "Street Scenes" in any city without guidance from a working guy who is familiar with that city and its people. For Chicago, I would definitely suggest Raul. I spent a whole day with him in Chicago and he certainly knows the city. My next visit we are going "Alley Searching" to find hot pleasures to share in the depths of the many downtown alleys. Can't Wait

Boston Bill

I overlooked this group and Lee just let me know--pushy broad!!

# 13 Anything outdoors is HOT. Great ass. Do they have outdoor showers in PS?

# 21 Great smile/ Great dick

# 24 Any one of these guys would be fine. All three would be great

# 26 That's my favorite shower activity

Boston Bill

Gotta go now. I'm banished to my room now without internet, cable, or cell phone

What's the difference between a circus and the Rockettes? One is a cunning array of stunts...

 

Kevin Slater

Kevin,

I have to take you to see the Rockettes on my next trip to NYC. My daughter auditioned for the Rockettes and , fortunately, was not chosen. I have to tell her this. She'll howl. Besides, if I go to the city to spend time with you, it certainly would not be at Radio City.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Boston Bill

Doit,

I believe both Romann and NYTomcat know him. Don't remember, but think they may have used his place in the city. PM them and I'm sure they'll help out.

Boston Bill