Bosguy

As surrogate for jackhammer, I submit:

 

Skinny little white Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this huge black guy standing next to him.

 

The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.'

 

The Irishman faints and falls to the floor.

 

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.. The big guy says, 'What's wrong with you?'

 

In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'

The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me................. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.'

 

The Irishman says:

 

'Turner Brown'?!....Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around"!

Thanks Oliver!!!!

Almost accurate except a True Irishman wouldn't have fainted--he would have had a Guinness and turned around. A Boston Irishman would have added "You can paak that wherevaa you want"

Boston Bill

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

I used to look forward to Fridays as the last work day of the week. Now I look forward to your sharing of humor which puts last week's happenings in perspective and gets me ready for next weeks challenges. Plus I laugh so hard, my puppy thinks I've lost my mind (did that a long time ago)

Boston Bill

I've done a number of shoots for Kink (pun intended) including one just this past Monday in a bar. Yes, the "blue pills" provide help but over the course of a 5-hour shoot there is a need for fluffing despite the chemical assistance. There are no official fluffers on the set, but there is quite a bit of fluffing between cast members between takes. In the last one there was one guy who was particularly into sucking dick and volunteered to be a fluffer. In fact, sucking got him hard so in providing fluffer services he was able to get "fluffed" himself. It's a win-win if there ever was one :-)

 

As for the tours of the Armory, I'd highly recommend it. The place is amazing in it's own right as a piece of historical architecture, and the overlay of the porn studio makes it even more intriguing. Should be on every gay man's list of attractions when visiting SF!

Nate,

You could be a fluffer by just walking in the room naked with some leather--your body and sexy way would make sure there wasn't a limp dick in the house!!! I intend to make the Armory a part of my west coast visit (no date set) but I would need a HOT tour guide!!

Boston Bill

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 76).

 

We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors - green, red, orange, and blue.

 

My dad kept staring at her.

Every time the teenager looked up she would find my dad

staring at her. Every time. When the teenager had enough, she looked over at my dad and she sarcastically asked:

"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

 

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response. He responded without batting an eyelid ....

 

"Got stoned once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you might be my kid."[/color][/size][/font]

Thank you once again. I did not read this till a few minutes ago and I'm still sitting here with tears running down my face (was gonna say "cheeks" but you know how piggy Oliver can get) because it is exactly something my Dad would have said. I was actually at a Dunkin Donuts at the mall today and saw this young lady looking as you described and saying to myself "Thank God Dad's not Here" and then on the way home, I wished he had been.

Thanks for the most dependable bright spot in my week.

Boston Bill

Our pets are our peers. Sometimes I think Longfellow knows me better than I know myself.

Congratulations on being the type of person this crazy world needs!!!!!

Boston Bill

Can't believe I'm a 60 something year old man sitting here howling laughing by myself to these stories. Now I know it's gonna be a great weekend.

Thanks so much for sharing.

Boston Bill

Definitely # 2 for me

Although I usually like a hairy guy, with all his other attributes, who cares! I'd love to find out why he needs "caution tape" around him. Also like his "weapon of choice" and I bet he could get # 1 to lend us that sling.

Boston Bill

Just saw a cut-in report on cable using the Weather Channel guy you mentioned.. Jim Cantore.

 

Two things come to mind seeing him. He has pretty good sized hands and several times during the report he placed his hands on his hips which in my years in television was a no-no because it looked "gay".

 

Now before Rick Munroe comes and asks me what does gay look like, I just want to point out that it was usually producers and directors who gave that instruction to actors, not me. It was hard to tell seeing this guy all bundled up in his rain gear but I could imagine him playing for our team (even as an occasional pinch hitter). He was not wearing any ring. His channel bio talks about his two kids but mentions no wife or partner.

 

As for Rick Munroe, Cooper and all of our friends in NYC and on the east coast, our thoughts are with you even if we may be obsessed with TV weathermen.[/color][/size][/font]

He used to wear a wedding band, but not wearing it any longer doesn't mean he's gay. On this unbelevable day in Boston, I needed a bright thought.

Boston Bill

0 to 200 in 6 seconds

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was

really pissed.

 

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the

driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

 

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke

up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box

gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

 

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought

the box back in the house.

 

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

 

Bob has been missing since Friday. [/color][/size][/font]

Thanks for that hilarious tale. It was funny but when it got to the last line "Bob has been missing since Friday." it became hilarious and I lost it.

Needed it now. Double checking my hurricane survival list and realized I forgot the most important item---an oversexed hairy, horny, handsome, versatile hunk to keep me busy so I wouldn't worry!

Boston Bill

So this is what goes on in offices now. 'm going to un retire

# 1 & # 7 are real hot couples. I think it's time they started adding some spice to their lives--ME

# 17 The chair scene is one of the hottest scenes I've ever STARED AT--I'd take steno any day

# 25 Just cause a guy is incredibly handsome and has the body of a Greek god, you never know what lies under----LEATHER- the man is all things

Boston Bill

I have not hired him, but I believe he does the standard Northeast tour--DC, NYC, Boston. I've seen his Rentboy ad for Boston in the past.

Bill

I saw a yard sign that said:

 

NEED HELP?

CALL JESUS

1-800-005-3787

 

Out of curiosity, I did.

 

 

 

 

A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.[/color][/size][/font]

That just struck my funny bone and I can't stop laughing. It's amazing how some one or some thing jumps in when you're having a less than positive moment. I've enjoyed and look forward to this thread as part of my "Things I WANT to do List" Please keep it up. I can see why Oliver (one of the greatest men I ever had the privilege of meeting) thinks the world of you.

Bill K.

LOL - this is the best one yet! And, by the way, both are extremely common for escorts to hear.

Improved sayings from FOS last post:

Goofus: You aren't done yet, are you???

Gallant: What can I do to help you come AGAIN?

Bill .

Anyone into medical fetish? ie. like faux exams and enemas and fertility exams and...

 

Tyger!

tygerkink@yahoo.com

971.400.2633

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To love without personal gain can be the most significant expression of self acceptance and giving human gift possible given our human nature. Strive for the Will to Love~

 

Love is not some place you come from. It's something you are through the acceptance of Life and living it and giving back to those learning how.

 

Desire is easy to suffice and satiate~ Need is the more important then satisfaction. Strive to understand how desires can suffice need and strive for that~ What you need will bring you more then what you desire unless your desires suffice your needs~

 

If humankind can not understand and utilize technology to necessary needs provision, what is the point of technology?

 

A flower is just a flower until it comes into the reality of another thing where it is then consumed, cherished or simply ignored to be what it is~

All things are like this~ and in all forms accepted as one purpose or another according to the understanding of the two.

 

You can't retire from who you truly are~

 

Life is the profound influence not any particular person or words~. .. but becoming aware of the profound nature of life is the blessing that we can acquire and pass along.

Have never experienced this , but it is extremely intriguing. Having spent a little time around medical professionals lately, would love to get it on in an examination room with assorted equipment and white lab coats as the only attire. I recentlydiscussed this scenario with a good friend of mine and Dr. Flip Flop came up with endless possibilities. Go for it.

Bill K.