ReynST

I finish my massages with a hug and it is the one thing he needs to keep going. When his marriage turns sour, when a parent passes, and when he loses his job or his children lash out, he comes. He comes other times as well, but always when he's at his lowest. I give him a hug and sometimes he cries, sometimes uncontrollably. He says that he tries so hard and I say nothing back. I hold onto him as long as he needs someone to hold on to and when the tears have stopped, I let him go. I wipe him down with warm towels, he thanks me and he goes his way. 
The first time he said "I love you" I said "you're welcome". He wanted to express his thanks using stronger words and I gave my response to his gratitude. 
He says I love you every time afterwards and he's been saying it for for years. Recently he moved to a different coast. He has a fulfilling new position and a new house in suburbs of an exciting new city. He also has a great relationship with his children.
Whenever he visits, he comes and he's full of smiles but even still he sometimes cries, and sometimes uncontrollably. And he says I love you.
It's still just a thank you 
(Yes, this is a true story)

I’m 55 - in shape and willing to travel.  Woo me. 

I understand clearly the stereotypes of gay guys, particularly perpetuated by straight men, and they go beyond the trivial things you mentioned. Let’s get into the heavy stereotypes straight men have about gay guys (and the hypocrisy of it all):
1.) “Gay men are extremely promiscuous, and will have sex any and everywhere”. 
Straight men love saying this, especially as they think they have “proof” of this, as the one major circumstance they are in proximity to gay men where they can make this assumption is the gym sauna and steam room. The moment they catch some gay slut having sex in the sauna, they gasp at it with such shame, knowing good and well their true feeling is envy. If women were allowed to be as sexually liberated as men are (without that shame), they’d all be fucking in saunas and other public places too. 
 
2.) “Gay men spread STDs and are the reason why AIDS has impacted women.” The truth is that more women have died from cervical and uterine cancers, stemming from the dirty dicks of their straight male counterparts, via  HPV… and many women suffer from multiple auto-immune diseases and suffer from interfility due to the many STDs their straight partners give them. If you know any gynecologist, they will tell you that lesbian women have the best gynecological health, because their sexual activities involves no men. 
 
3.) “Gay men are sexual deviants”. 
Well the truth is that on a global perspective, straight men have plagued society with human sex trafficking, the sexual exploitation of children and the sexual abuse of women. Look at any state’s sexual offender list, and 90 percent of the men are straight. 
further, even your most deviant gay slut is picky and has “standards”. 
Go to your local truck stop or hoe stroll;  the nastiest of female lot lizards and crack whores are making steady cash from straight men. There’s even a documentary in a county in Central America where they have to take great measures to protect the donkeys, because straight men are raping them. 
So no….. I don’t give any consideration or deference to straight men. They’ve ridiculed the reputations of gay men with ridiculous stereotypes for generations, all the while, they are far worse. 
 
 

There’s a lot to unpack here, but the core issue seems to be the idea that being attracted to “straight” men is somehow more natural or universal among gay men than being attracted to other gay men. That’s simply not true. Yes, many gay men have had crushes on unattainable straight guys growing up, but that’s often because we lacked representation and safe spaces to explore our desires. That doesn’t mean all of us fetishize straightness into adulthood or see it as an ideal.
The real issue with “straight guy” fetishization isn’t about individual preference—people are attracted to different things, and that’s perfectly fine—but about the way it can reinforce internalized homophobia. Elevating straightness as the ultimate form of masculinity suggests that being openly gay makes someone less desirable, which is a toxic mindset rooted in shame. It also plays into a broader cultural problem where queer men are often expected to diminish or hide parts of themselves to be seen as attractive.
As for the escort argument, marketing is about selling a fantasy, and “straight” sells because of lingering stigmas about gayness, not because it’s some universal truth about attraction. The idea that most gay men prefer “straight” men is a broad generalization that erases the many men who love and desire other gay men without apology.
At the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their preferences, but it’s worth asking—do those preferences come from an authentic place, or are they shaped by cultural bias and internalized messaging?

I hear you, and I’m not saying your attraction isn’t real or valid—people are drawn to what they’re drawn to. But I think it’s worth examining why masculinity is often seen as more “authentic” in straight men versus gay men. Masculinity isn’t something that only straight men inherently possess, nor is it something that gay men have to perform or belong to as part of a “subculture.” There are plenty of gay men who are naturally masculine without it being a “show.”
I think the bigger issue is how society conditions us to view certain traits as more desirable when they’re associated with straightness. But at the end of the day, attraction is personal, and as long as it’s not rooted in shame or invalidating others, people are free to have their preferences. I just think it’s important to question where those preferences come from sometimes.

This doesn’t surprise me at all.  You are so giving and gracious.  You allow a lot of space for healing and create space that feels safe.  I’m grateful for you and your gift of restorative and awakening energy. 
 
and since this is in a thread about falling for your provider, no I haven’t.  🤓

🙄
I agree with most of your "tips" but this one about "If their English is bad" is a bit xenophobic. English fluency does not make someone a more skilled massuer, and it certainly isn't a prerequisite for learning massage. Some of the best massages I've had have been from non-native English speakers.

I finish my massages with a hug and it is the one thing he needs to keep going. When his marriage turns sour, when a parent passes, and when he loses his job or his children lash out, he comes. He comes other times as well, but always when he's at his lowest. I give him a hug and sometimes he cries, sometimes uncontrollably. He says that he tries so hard and I say nothing back. I hold onto him as long as he needs someone to hold on to and when the tears have stopped, I let him go. I wipe him down with warm towels, he thanks me and he goes his way. 
The first time he said "I love you" I said "you're welcome". He wanted to express his thanks using stronger words and I gave my response to his gratitude. 
He says I love you every time afterwards and he's been saying it for for years. Recently he moved to a different coast. He has a fulfilling new position and a new house in suburbs of an exciting new city. He also has a great relationship with his children.
Whenever he visits, he comes and he's full of smiles but even still he sometimes cries, and sometimes uncontrollably. And he says I love you.
It's still just a thank you 
(Yes, this is a true story)

Definitely! But post the good experiences you've had as well

I have had a few sensual massages and tend to tip well. Last session was 90 minutes, he was really good! The cost was $280, I tipped $60. I'm very appreciative of a good massage with extras. I am an older guy, in good shape, and really like it when a masseur takes care of me!

Situations for tipping: 
1. Your provider accommodates your irregular requests.
-  ...
2. You are high maintenance. 
- If you need to be strangled and spat on to cum, you should probably be tipping
3. You have a reason to apologize.
- If you've made same day cancellations, untimely reschedules or arrive late 
 
A good 2/3rds of my clients tip. Most 10-20 bucks.  I think it's because it's become national habit and because my rates are very reasonable.
An interesting amount pay the standard rate online and tip higher than the nude rate in person. I also get newer clients who tend to be wide-eyed after a session and like to empty their wallets ... 🤷🏾‍♂️ 
Under regular circumstances you should never feel obligated to provide a tip and you SHOULD NOT tip if it lowers the frequency for which you can get a massage.
Please read that again, because if you're calculating the tip to meet budget costs it's counterproductive. 
 
Tipping is also useful for making a lasting impression on your provider. But only outrageously high ones, so this should never be used as a tactic ... unless you're attempting to hire someone for a Diddy party in the future and want them open to it 

I finish my massages with a hug and it is the one thing he needs to keep going. When his marriage turns sour, when a parent passes, and when he loses his job or his children lash out, he comes. He comes other times as well, but always when he's at his lowest. I give him a hug and sometimes he cries, sometimes uncontrollably. He says that he tries so hard and I say nothing back. I hold onto him as long as he needs someone to hold on to and when the tears have stopped, I let him go. I wipe him down with warm towels, he thanks me and he goes his way. 
The first time he said "I love you" I said "you're welcome". He wanted to express his thanks using stronger words and I gave my response to his gratitude. 
He says I love you every time afterwards and he's been saying it for for years. Recently he moved to a different coast. He has a fulfilling new position and a new house in suburbs of an exciting new city. He also has a great relationship with his children.
Whenever he visits, he comes and he's full of smiles but even still he sometimes cries, and sometimes uncontrollably. And he says I love you.
It's still just a thank you 
(Yes, this is a true story)

Definitely! But post the good experiences you've had as well

Definitely! But post the good experiences you've had as well

I finish my massages with a hug and it is the one thing he needs to keep going. When his marriage turns sour, when a parent passes, and when he loses his job or his children lash out, he comes. He comes other times as well, but always when he's at his lowest. I give him a hug and sometimes he cries, sometimes uncontrollably. He says that he tries so hard and I say nothing back. I hold onto him as long as he needs someone to hold on to and when the tears have stopped, I let him go. I wipe him down with warm towels, he thanks me and he goes his way. 
The first time he said "I love you" I said "you're welcome". He wanted to express his thanks using stronger words and I gave my response to his gratitude. 
He says I love you every time afterwards and he's been saying it for for years. Recently he moved to a different coast. He has a fulfilling new position and a new house in suburbs of an exciting new city. He also has a great relationship with his children.
Whenever he visits, he comes and he's full of smiles but even still he sometimes cries, and sometimes uncontrollably. And he says I love you.
It's still just a thank you 
(Yes, this is a true story)

I finish my massages with a hug and it is the one thing he needs to keep going. When his marriage turns sour, when a parent passes, and when he loses his job or his children lash out, he comes. He comes other times as well, but always when he's at his lowest. I give him a hug and sometimes he cries, sometimes uncontrollably. He says that he tries so hard and I say nothing back. I hold onto him as long as he needs someone to hold on to and when the tears have stopped, I let him go. I wipe him down with warm towels, he thanks me and he goes his way. 
The first time he said "I love you" I said "you're welcome". He wanted to express his thanks using stronger words and I gave my response to his gratitude. 
He says I love you every time afterwards and he's been saying it for for years. Recently he moved to a different coast. He has a fulfilling new position and a new house in suburbs of an exciting new city. He also has a great relationship with his children.
Whenever he visits, he comes and he's full of smiles but even still he sometimes cries, and sometimes uncontrollably. And he says I love you.
It's still just a thank you 
(Yes, this is a true story)

I finish my massages with a hug and it is the one thing he needs to keep going. When his marriage turns sour, when a parent passes, and when he loses his job or his children lash out, he comes. He comes other times as well, but always when he's at his lowest. I give him a hug and sometimes he cries, sometimes uncontrollably. He says that he tries so hard and I say nothing back. I hold onto him as long as he needs someone to hold on to and when the tears have stopped, I let him go. I wipe him down with warm towels, he thanks me and he goes his way. 
The first time he said "I love you" I said "you're welcome". He wanted to express his thanks using stronger words and I gave my response to his gratitude. 
He says I love you every time afterwards and he's been saying it for for years. Recently he moved to a different coast. He has a fulfilling new position and a new house in suburbs of an exciting new city. He also has a great relationship with his children.
Whenever he visits, he comes and he's full of smiles but even still he sometimes cries, and sometimes uncontrollably. And he says I love you.
It's still just a thank you 
(Yes, this is a true story)

I finish my massages with a hug and it is the one thing he needs to keep going. When his marriage turns sour, when a parent passes, and when he loses his job or his children lash out, he comes. He comes other times as well, but always when he's at his lowest. I give him a hug and sometimes he cries, sometimes uncontrollably. He says that he tries so hard and I say nothing back. I hold onto him as long as he needs someone to hold on to and when the tears have stopped, I let him go. I wipe him down with warm towels, he thanks me and he goes his way. 
The first time he said "I love you" I said "you're welcome". He wanted to express his thanks using stronger words and I gave my response to his gratitude. 
He says I love you every time afterwards and he's been saying it for for years. Recently he moved to a different coast. He has a fulfilling new position and a new house in suburbs of an exciting new city. He also has a great relationship with his children.
Whenever he visits, he comes and he's full of smiles but even still he sometimes cries, and sometimes uncontrollably. And he says I love you.
It's still just a thank you 
(Yes, this is a true story)

I finish my massages with a hug and it is the one thing he needs to keep going. When his marriage turns sour, when a parent passes, and when he loses his job or his children lash out, he comes. He comes other times as well, but always when he's at his lowest. I give him a hug and sometimes he cries, sometimes uncontrollably. He says that he tries so hard and I say nothing back. I hold onto him as long as he needs someone to hold on to and when the tears have stopped, I let him go. I wipe him down with warm towels, he thanks me and he goes his way. 
The first time he said "I love you" I said "you're welcome". He wanted to express his thanks using stronger words and I gave my response to his gratitude. 
He says I love you every time afterwards and he's been saying it for for years. Recently he moved to a different coast. He has a fulfilling new position and a new house in suburbs of an exciting new city. He also has a great relationship with his children.
Whenever he visits, he comes and he's full of smiles but even still he sometimes cries, and sometimes uncontrollably. And he says I love you.
It's still just a thank you 
(Yes, this is a true story)

@Callas 
While you're in Palm Springs be sure to check out the providers there. There's a good pool of talent and many providers make it a regular travel destination 🥳🙌🏾

One of my regulars actually IS a cop, though he technically operates in a different city. 
It's not cops that providers are concerned with, but entrapment and some questions and approaches are definitely hinting at that. So have some discretion and decorum in communication.

Yep.  I tip generously because I want to make sure the provider/masseur will see me again since I’m no longer the hot young hunk I once was (or thought I was).

@ReynST I love the way you worded that. More than a decade in to hiring masseurs, I believe the tip is perhaps more for my sake than anything else in that I'm older, prefer evening massages in my home and I live in the suburbs. From the pool of 130 masseurs advertising on RM in my area, maybe 5 that I'm interested would be willing to accommodate that service, so I understand tipping well is important.
That said, I'm often the wide-eyes client after the first massage for I typically hire the same masseurs repeatedly and upon discovery of one that I really like, it's like damn, struck gold, pay the man and make it worth his while so he'll be agreeable to the next session. 
I've also read commits on threads regarding tipping masseurs in that they're comparable to other well-paid professionals as in doctors, lawyers and CPAs where tipping is not the norm. I would dispute in that every lawyer and CPA I've worked with has always padded their billable hours and my last two primary care physicians recently began charge concierge fees between $3-5k a year which isn't cover by insurance nor accessed to my annual out of pocket. Point being, gratuity has established itself in every service profession in this country but simply referred to in sectors by another name. 

I've had almost this exact situation. Young athletic guy with two toddler kids and a woman (presumably his wife, who I didn't encounter but could hear) at home. It was a nude massage in an office and the door was unlocked the entire time.
I could hear the kids moving through the hallway and later playing outside. The dynamics wouldn't impact my life at all, but I had to wonder how the kids would react if they opened the door to show their dad a rock they found and saw him getting teabagged.
... I can only guess it's a regular occurrence

Many guys like a deep thorough massage and women are less reliably good at delivering that. 
Massage generally makes you horny delivered by either gender.  They may or may not want a happy ending, but who delivers it isn't the priority of the session. Gay guys can get HEs from guys they're not at all attracted to or get aroused when massaged by women. 
It makes sense for straight guys to go to guys even for erotic massage, and it's not as telling as you might think of their sexuality.