former lurker

I agree, but there's some differences between the time to prepare for an escort/client meeting, travel, meet, etc., and the general maintenance of maintaining good health, one's physique, etc. In my profession, we bill for our time. My costs to buy appropriate clothing, take care of my health, maintainin currency in my field through reading and ongoing coursework, membership in professional associations, and transportation to an from work. My clients are billed for my time to work on their behalf, to travel to and from locations to do so, etc. And they are billed for that time if they cancel the meeting I've flown to attend, or if the work I performed doesn't achieve the hoped for result. Maybe the difference in our emphasis boils down to a distinction between hiring a professional for a service versus buying a product based on an advertised function. If it's the former, you're paying for preparation, attendance and best efforts. If the latter, your paying for a functionality. Consider this: if an escort presented an ala carte menu of activities each separately priced plus a basic fee for more basic services, it would be perfectly appropriate to not pay for the activity he couldn't deliver. But most of us clients don't want encounters like that -- we want a "session" that reflects the "preferences" discussed beforehand and is adapted to us during the time we spend with the escort.

I always thought he was hot in his porn work. Unfortunately, his life outside of porn is disturbing. It was easier to enjoy porn from some hot guys before we became privy to their arrest records, particularly when they've been nailed for sex with minors as adults.

I'm confused. The $90 is not going to the guy seeking the arrangement, but to the site, right? So the goal would be to use the site to find a guy, make the arrangement, then stop using the site. But the arrangement would likely be for orders of magnitude more than the cost of using the site. If you're anticipating covering some guy's rent and living expenses, why is the monthly fee to find that guy an issue?

I'd reiterate, in agreement, what I said in a prior post: clients ARE paying for TIME even if the intent and understanding of both parties is that the time will include certain activities. Part of what clients pay for is the time that the escort blocks out to prepare, travel or set up his location, etc. The time he commits to prepare for, travel to and from, and spend with the client is time he cannot spend on other things or with other clients.

Do you bring the same brand of charm and warmth to your interpersonal encounters with escorts? Perhaps that's the disconnect.

Equally important, however, is to be realistic about the factors that, other than the sexual activity, go into a meeting. The escort needs to prepare, to block his schedule, to either set up his home or travel to/from the meeting location. So you ARE paying for his time as part of the fee. If he cannot meet because he takes ill or has an emergency, he should cancel and save the client the fee -- but odds are some clients would trash him for "flaking" so there's really no perfect response. For the client, it's the same. I book in advance. If something happens to prevent the meeting or prevent what I want to happen at the meeting (only happened twice over more than a decade), I always try to compensate the escort for the loss of his time (of course, a lot of that depends on how much notice I am able to give). There are no guarantees that an escort will be able to perform exactly as requested or promised. We rightly spend a lot of time/ink id'ing escorts who repeatedly promise one sort of activity, then show up and say they don't do that. Those folks should be penalized in payment and exposure. But an escort who shows up and attempts to deliver what he promised is a different case. Escorts aren't machines. There is always the possibility that something may go awry. If you expect them to be, insist in advance on some kind of refund policy and be just as clear about its terms as you are about what you want to happen in the session.

Thank you for clarifying this situation.

If the account you're following is not too private, could you share a link?

When I read this, I remembered reading that Zak was also publicly critical of another scene partner, Brad Stone. Given how many scenes and how many scene partners active porn performers engage with, I'd assume there are quite a few models who have negative things to say but don't. I've also read some accounts from former Sean Cody models who are gay about how the straight models were more focused on keeping to schedule and had less patience for things like the loss of an erection, the need to take a break while bottoming, etc.

I'm sorry that my comments came across that way. I do hope you find a way to make your future experiences fulfilling. As to the rest, I'm just reading what you've written. If I misread something, or said something that struck a nerve, I apologize. Be well, and best of luck.

A professional would be a good idea, and not of the escort variety. You may not have told him you were projecting your issues onto him, but you did tell him you wanted some of the money back, and wrote a negative review. Now, if you're saying had he only said that, if you would stay, he'd try to "get you off" even if he couldn't get an erection again, that's also on you for rushing out. I'm not judging you. I'm trying to encourage you to address for yourself, preferably with the aid of a professional, whatever issues are at the root of YOUR expectations and insecurities. And you did post here. I presumed you were looking for honest feedback, not a string of affirming posts. That's what you wanted to get from the escort, and when you didn't you feel bad about the whole experience.

Bingo. From your initial description of the encounter, his behavior, and your response to it all, it sounds like a lot of your sense of disappointment has more to do with your own issues and not as much with how you were treated. If you are going to continue hiring, you'll need to go into sessions with less psychic baggage and set more reasonable/achievable goals for yourself. You reacted negatively to the escort in large measure, per your description, because his physical mishap left you feeling unattractive and blaming yourself. That's a lot to put on an escort, especially one who is pleasant, looks as you expected, and tried to provide a good time. You even said you opted to cut the session short because of how you felt (embarassed?). Unless you can get past being concerned about whether you're attractive enough to the escort, that worry will overhang any future encounter. Escorts may help you/one feel better about themselves, but they're not therapists helping you work through your issues over a period of time and sessions. My guess, without knowing you or who you saw, is that you are too hard on yourself and that leads you to need affirmation, and when something went wrong you projected your own issues onto the escort because he wasn't able to make you feel attractive. Try to work on whatever it is that's causing you to feel the need for affirmation. That should make much more of a positive impact than finding the "perfect" escort.

The same as I am now, except for not posting but just reading.

First, you can submit a review to the site that supports this set of forums, Daddy's Reviews. And should. Second, while you may be contracting for more than just time, you are contracting for time. This is not a profession like any other given the variables that go into a good connection and session. But even using other professions as a gauge, they don't charge based on outcomes. Doctors charge for their time, and for the treatment costs, whether your disease is cured quickly or not at all. Lawyer's charge you for their time to prepare for taking a deposition, and deposing the witness, whether or not the deposition ends up helping your case. Same for briefing and filing motions in court. You don't get a discount because a motion was denied. Let's be honest. You're looking for a way to exert control over the outcome. There is only so much control you can reasonably employ. You can hire based on research and reviews. You can book shorter sessions as introductions to be certain of who shows up. You can scour the internet for hints/clues as to whether the ad that piqued your interest has taken pictures from an instagram model who is posting from another continent at the same time the escort claims to be be in your city. You can, as many do, ask if others have seen the escort via posts on this board. And you can simply not repeat with an escort if you had a less than satisfying experience. There is going to be some "spillage", meaning any encounter is going to be beyond your complete control. If that's not a risk worth taking, don't hire or only hire "regulars".

Why is his mother's religion relevant?

There are too many variables that could explain the inability to maintain an erection, some of which may not be the escort's "fault" -- did the client ply him with wine/alcohol for example. In any event, unless the escort had reason to know, before meeting up, that he'd run into the problem, he still showed up for the meeting and blocked out the time.

The problem with your proposed approach, as has been explained by several posters, is that it is offensive to those who do not need the incentive to represent themselves honestly. So exactly what do you accomplish? You weed out BOTH those who are misrepresenting themselves out of fear that you're serious about rejecting them if they are not who they say, and those who are who they say and don't appreciate the high handedness, or frankly the hint of a miser that you present in the approach.

I'm not clear about what verfication involves for RM. For most sites/services, verification usually involves supplying proof that the person opening the account is the same person. For example, you might have to provide a copy of a legal id with a picture, perhaps provide a picture of you holding the id. They also make sure that the payment card is owned by the account holder.

The site is still accessible, and people post once in a blue moon. At this point, it's mostly dead with a few posts reminiscing about days past or noting that the site is basically dead.

Too many to count or remember because I worked for several years as the administrator overseeing large scale events with speakers and performers. Among those I got to meet and talk with: Tito Puente, BB King, Richard Thomson, Liz Winstead, Bill Maher, Eleanor Holmes Norton, George Mitchell, Angus King. I sat next to JR Reid at a step show put on by the Black frats at UNC, and met a number of the UNC mens basketball players over the years. While living in New York I ran across, but didn't directly interact with, Tommy Lee Jones (at the White Horse Tavern), Sigourney Weaver (she was exiting a bathroom in a bar and spoke briefly with a friend who was waiting to use the facilities), Steve Martin at a restaurant, a few of the regulars from the Law and Order shows, and Justice Sotomayor a few times when I was clerking and she was a district court Judge then Appellate Court Judge. I've also met a number of politicians over the years, including John Kerry who was in my parents house seeking support from my father and his crowd when he first ran for Senate, and Ed Markey, for whom I worked as an intern and as the Assistant Campaign Manager for one of his reelection campaigns to the House of Reps. Of them all, I know Markey the best having worked with him, driven him around during the campaign, had dinner with him a number of times, etc. He also knew my parents. When my brother died, he sent flowers and called to offer his condolences.

This is an inherently personal and complicated process, and it speaks quite well of you that you are approaching it with this level of thoughtfulness and integrity.

WRT the last point I made, it was not in reference to comments in the present thread but to comments I've seen on the boards in the past. Not recent.

Is it any wonder why some escorts are requesting deposits? You have a confirmed appointment and still feel free to cancel. I'm sure that happens a lot. How many times have we all read a post from someone saying he's confirmed for a session but wants more information to be sure if he should go through with it. The time for second guessing is before you confirm. On the other hand, if an escort cancels after a session has been confirmed, he's lambasted as a flake, time waster, etc. It cuts both ways.

It is most likely a networking/business tactic on his part.

I've read the same Tumblr posts from him. I don't see him as saying he'll like you "more" if you pay the deposit. Instead, he's saying that settling the payment removes tension. I try to approach escorts with an open mind and to understand that they have, on occasion, been burned. I also find it distasteful when clients suggest that holding payment over the escorts head is the way to ensure a good session. Same for clients who, in the past according to older posts, used to hold the potential for a positive or negative review over the escorts head. My approach is to work out the terms if they are acceptable to me and the escort and go from there.