jazeboy

My reply is unrelated to this thread ... but I just wanted to say that this is some of the most awesome advice I've heard in a long time ... and the timing happens to be great ... THANKS!!

In an ideal world. But it's so hard ... and all the more so the older you are. I wish I had the courage when I was younger. I wish the world was more tolerant / accepting when I was younger.

I went to King Spa yesterday. It was my first time at any spa, so my post is not in context of wider experience, but two things stood out which I thought I'd share: The steam room closes at 5pm (the spa is open until 2am) I had a female masseuse; the massage area is co-ed and the doors to each room is left open. (I've never encountered this in any massage place, whether or not a HE-type place or not!) I was there from 6pm-ish to 9pm-ish, and it was fairly quiet. A few nice-looking guys, but no eye-candy fest.

Which spa is Robin at?

I am in a very similar position than OP. I am certainly not very experienced, but I offer this opinion, hoping that it might help OP and others in same or similar situations. As an older virgin, or at least sexually-inexperienced guy, I assumed that I was missing out on 'sex'. Because I am uncomfortable with my sexuality (yes, I'm still stuck in that old-school way that I grew up in, but that's a different story), I only recently started allowing myself to experience intimacy with another human, and I did it in the gradual way of massage, sensual massage, erotic massage as many of the responses here suggest. It's been great to have physical contact with another human, but I understand now that this physical contact is really what I have been missing out on. Not 'sex' as such - we can satisfy that need on our own. But touch, connection, closeness is what we're missing. And while some providers are kind and supportive and empathetic, and can provide the illusion of these things, briefly, it is not real. It is, and remains transactional. (This is not a criticism to providers at all.) And if you are lucky enough to find a provider that is kind and caring and supportive, and one who physically also enjoys your time together, there is the danger that you might interpret it as being more than just transactional: that you might think they could be truly interested in you as a friend, a human, a boyfriend maybe ... not just a customer. I feel like I'm rambling a bit and I'm not really sure where I'm going with this ... but I just wanted to put it out there, for some context. I guess what I'm saying is don't hire someone because you think it will fulfill what you have been missing. I'm not saying don't hire ... I'm just saying that you should temper your expectations, be clear about what you want out of it ... and be clear about what you can actually get out of it. I have had some amazing massages / interactions, and I will continue to pursue those, but I have to remind myself that I should not confuse it for real human connection, that I should not misconstrue it for something it is not.

Great advice. But reeeally difficult for someone who's never done any of that ... and who is in the closet. I know this first hand.

Why would you say that? It's really not helpful or constructive to OP.

Any recommendations for Korean spas in the NY/NJ area with nice eye-candy (younger, fitter guys)?

bump

Not disputing what T_B is saying, but just another data point: Semenax did absolutely nothing for me; I think it is snake-oil. And while I can absolutely see erection-improvement from L-Arg, I cannot say that I have noticed any increase in semen volume. (I have noticed less forceful ejaculations since on L-Arg, although that may be coincidence rather than correlation.)

I know not to believe everything I read on the internet ... but do you guys think the reviews on RM are fake? Most of this guy's reviews say his pics are accurate.

I think that ship has sailed I think I asked the wrong question / asked the question wrongly ... and have now made a fool of myself. I'll bow out of this conversation with the little grace I have left. I hope I can take part in future conversations on here without prejudice. Thanks all for your responses.

Thanks everyone for your responses Maybe another way of asking my question is: would it be okay if I called him up and said "Hey, I'm in your neighborhood. Fancy a BJ?"

Thanks for all the comments. Just for clarification: I was not suggesting anything, I was just asking an honest question. I paid (of course!) (and tipped well also). I had a great time ... pubic_assistance is right!

I am curious to know your thoughts on paying a provider when he also ends up having a good time. Especially if I want to arrange a second meeting. I rented a masseur and ended up blowing him ... which he seemed to really enjoy. (I did too, don't get me wrong!)