badger

Yes hi! I'm ok! That first interaction wasn't great. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't what I was looking for (or paying for!)
But I decided to try again with someone else a few weeks later and had an amazing time with that guy. I ended up seeing him several times.
I've hired a couple of people since I first posted and all but the first have been amazing. I'm meeting someone new tomorrow actually

I've been seeing a really great guy fairly regularly, and I'd like to ask him to make videos for me. The problem is, I am not sure how to talk about payment. I know that I should of course pay for somethinng extra like that, but I don't know how to handle that. I know I am probably overthinking this, as he's a very chill guy and I know it's unlikely that I'll offend him or whatever, but talking about the money stuff feels very awkward to me. There;s other things than videos that I'd like to ask about also, which I would obviously not expect as free bonuses, but this seemed like the easiest example.
I have posted about similar issues here before. I have some difficulties with social interactions and communication (some have suggested that it's a bit of autism, or even asbergers,) and I have found it extremely helpful to come here and ask for advice. Yall have been very helpful to me so far!

Here's a sample of existing discussions that may help:


 

It really depends where you are.  If you're in the US especially, RentMen is the most useful option.  It has the most listings and very granular search capabilities.  Hunqz is another option, but it's exposure in the US is more limited than in Europe (though that seems to be changing over time)  Friendboy and Mintboys are also well known sites, but suffer from poor search and lots of poor quality ads (providers that are no longer available, etc).
Adam4Adam also has listings for "Pros", but it seems to be pretty sketchy in most cities.
Beyond that, some people have had success contacting performers (OF/JFF) through Instagram or Twitter, and there is Seeking.com (formerly seekingarrangements.com) which focuses more on guys looking for a sugardaddy.

And after all of this, the guy ghosted me! On Saturday night we agreed to 2pm today, he would host. I messaged him around 9 this morning, saying "good morning, still good for 2pm today?" And never heard back.
But I'm glad I made the original post anyway, y'all really gave me some very helpful information and opinions.

Wow yeah as socially awkward as I can occasionally be, I DEFINITELY know not to be this guy lol
I do like to have a chance to put out my interests and requests ahead of time, I also enjoy it if texts get hit or flirty, but I certainly don't want to monopolize anyone's time. 
I would like a way to say, basically, "hey are you up for some text conversation beforehand to lay out interests and requests, possibly set a little vibe, possibly a little sex talk, I am willing to pay a bit extra for that if you'd like, or also you can just say no you're not open to more than a basic introduction text" but, y'know, a little more succinctly. 

And after all of this, the guy ghosted me! On Saturday night we agreed to 2pm today, he would host. I messaged him around 9 this morning, saying "good morning, still good for 2pm today?" And never heard back.
But I'm glad I made the original post anyway, y'all really gave me some very helpful information and opinions.

I tend to start a dialogue via the 'message me' function on rentmen. It's a kind of fairly brief standard intro along the lines of....'Loving your profile - very hot - and just wondered if you might be interested in meeting up at some point? Looking for an hour in-call so let me know the rate & roughly whereabouts you are and we can maybe go from there...'
I'll usually follow up with a 'Just so you know....' message, which says a bit about who I am, what I'm into, what I'm looking for etc., which ends with a 'Let me know if this sounds like your kind of thing and we can go from there...'
Depending on what happens next, things will either go nowhere (not really compatible), or we'll start setting up a meet.  At this point, I switch to WhatsApp and message them directly, making contact to set the date, time, location along with details like, 'Will message you when I'm on my way...' etc. 
I love it when guys get flirty ahead of meet ups - just thing it builds a bit more rapport and adds to the building expectation BUT I always take my cue from them and let them lead this.  I never push for it.  From my perspective, we've agreed to meet for an hour, anything else they want to offer outside of that is at their discretion. 
A couple of times guys I've met have wanted to speak ahead of meeting up - and we've had some pretty steamy phone sessions.  A couple have asked for photos and sent  XXX photos back.  Mostly, though...it's strictly business & logistics.  Hotel room no. Message me when you're nearby and I'll meet you in the foyer....that kind of thing. 
Afterwards, I always send a WA saying 'thank you' and expressing what I've enjoyed about our time together and asking them if they'd like me to post a review on RM.  Most will WA me back after seeing a review and then we kind of go our separate ways.....until the next time maybe...

Personally...I prefer to mention a few basics upfront:  "I'm a top". "Wild over mild"...etc. and then see where the provider naturally takes things. Gives me a better sense of their natural inclinations...and skills.
Then afterwards discussing any special role play that I may want to schedule for a separate meet. I can tell you from much experience that giving someone a script doesn't always work whether you're paying a pro or hooking up with a rando. Best to check how adaptable someone is before getting too specific.

I frequently have some back-and-forth about the session in advance of it taking place. Not cyber-sex but going over things we both like/don't like/are absolute showstoppers. However, I'm also careful to avoid turning the exchange into sex-via-text. As @pubic_assistance's post implies, there is a limit to the amount of off-the-clock time should be spent discussing specifics. Another way to approach the situation is to ask if the provider would be willing to have a 15-minute call/message exchange in return for one quarter of his hourly rate. 

There’s a fine, but distinct line between talking about the activities you like and your expectations and sex talk. The former is welcomed the latter is annoying and I close it down quickly. 

I like clients to share with me some of their preferences (not all…some of the fun is discovery) but sex talk is always indicative of him cancelling before the session. So ask, explain, share your likes etc but keep your underwear on and both hands on your phone when doing it. A good provider will appreciate that. 

I don't know who you're meeting.......but I'm sure you know some providers are fine with extensive pre-meet chat and others (usually, but not always, the lower-rated ones) definitely don't want to hear from giddy/nervous/chatty first-timers too much.........you may have to tread carefully here and, frankly, not piss him off!......if you haven't already told him what you like to do at a meeting, you should probably tell him that - in one to-the-point, discreet, polite text/email.......ask him for his thoughts and ideas and then minimize communication before the meet except for location/time/access logistics.......
and I don't know what this pre-meet chat is/was going to involve.......if it was about what you want to do at the meet, most providers do want that information........if it is about social anxiety, personal drama, etc., keep that to one or two sentences!.......
sounds like this isn't your first meet with a provider, though......that should help your nerves, but I know this is your first meet with this guy......as usual, firm handshake, look him in the eyes, smile, talk slowly, minimize weather talk and don't talk about yourself(!)......suggest an easy light massage by you on him (may show you care about him having fun, too).......then ease that into bigger fun.....
that's all I got!!.....let us know how it goes! 

This is an example where an upfront  deposit might make sense. (As much as I'm opposed to sending money to randoms). If you want to spend time discussing your session..that's reasonable. But you're on the clock.

You should feel comfortable to ask anything.. It's your session, remember that.   I prefer clients to ask questions, etc... Keeps an open dialog.... Don't think you are a pest, because you are not... Good Luck. 

Sure! Dominik Ward and Donnato, both from rentmen

Yes hi! I'm ok! That first interaction wasn't great. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't what I was looking for (or paying for!)
But I decided to try again with someone else a few weeks later and had an amazing time with that guy. I ended up seeing him several times.
I've hired a couple of people since I first posted and all but the first have been amazing. I'm meeting someone new tomorrow actually

Effective communication is key to a successful provider-client relationship. A good provider will expect you to ask for exactly what you want. There's no need to be shy; I can guarantee you won't ask for anything they haven't heard before. While good providers are skilled at reading clients and guiding the session accordingly, leaving them to guess your preferences isn't the best approach when hiring.

OP sounds like a re flag asking this question!  hahaha I jest (sort of)
 
 
I have seen a provider who when I went to tip him he said to me - keep the tip, pay for membership and leave me a review on RM. It would be more valuable to me. 
 
I wouldn't leave a bad review for someone, unless they were dangerous.  If someone has that many positive reviews it cant be faked- it means they are doing a good job and at the least, the photos are a true reflection of how they look. If you have over 100 people confirming it, I don't know what else you need!
Go for it! Enjoy. 

It's important to recognize that relying solely on RM reviews isn't advisable. Providers can inflate their review numbers. If you search this site, you'll find several threads discussing this topic.
I do read reviews and often reach out to reviewers directly. I'm cautious when I see multiple reviews from the same person for a single provider. I also look out for accounts that have only one review and were created on or just before the review date. Personally, I tend to avoid leaving negative reviews unless there's a significant issue, like a scam or a major problem. I'm sure many others share this approach. Therefore, the absence of negative reviews for a provider doesn't necessarily reflect their quality.
I've hired providers with many 5-star reviews and had less than memorable experiences, and I've also hired providers with few or no reviews and had great experiences.

As most everyone has said check to see how many are multiple reviews by the same user. Also the reviews I take most seriously are the ones where the reviewer has been a member for at least six months before the review was posted.

Sounds like more of a green flag than a red flag.
Only caveat is when there's only a handful of people giving those reviews.  That's how a druggie managed to stay on RM so long a few years ago.

I know of one provider who’s been around for a couple decades with several hundred 5-star reviews on RentMen. The length of time makes sense why he would have gathered so many, but when I inquired here on CoM about him, I learned in private messages that he is known to badger his clients into leaving positive reviews, and he harasses or even threatens them until they leave one (or remove a bad one). Presumably he gets RM to remove the bad ones anyway, perhaps anything less than 5-stars.
Nothing surprising here, but you would never be able to tell on the surface if he’s just really well regarded in the industry or if he is taking extreme measures to manufacture and maintain his reputation. It will catch up to him eventually. It always does.
Ask here for references and verifications both publicly and privately. What may not show up in public reviews will likely surface here. Reviews are just the tip of the iceberg. For every one good review, I have dozens of client appointments that went really well and in person the clients sing my praises, but you will never see their feedback in a review. 
 

Not necessarily a "red flag", but, as with a used motor vehicle, indicative of high mileage and wear and tear.

check the reviews for patterns.
frequently, there are many reviews by same person. also, look at when the reviewer became a member - lots of reviews by people who signed up same month.  Or, if several reviews happen in a short period of time.
there are definitely some guys gaming the system.  not possible w hundreds of reviews tho

I don't think it's a red flag- you can check how old the account is at the bottom. If he's been around for years that's not unreasonable.