AZN_NYC

All of those I know who do sex work (and this includes me) are doing it because they choose to, not because they have to. They’re intelligent, successful, interesting people. I’ve found that if you’re successful in one field it’s possible to take learnings from that and bring them to sex work and be successful there too.
Similarly with guys I’ve met whilst making porn. They’re invariably intelligent switched on people doing it because they enjoy it and are good at it. If you don’t enjoy the work you really won’t last long doing it. 

You seem like a great client and treat your providers so well. I think for extended trip like this, it would need both parties to be very careful and to make sure that both sides are comfortable spending such a long time together. Ideally, both should have met for a brief time before deciding to do overnight or weekends. However for clients out of state, it would not be an option. Even when dating, people do not see the bad sides of each other until they move in together. As @Simon Suraci mentioned, some providers do not like to do overnight because they don't want client to see the not-so-good side of them such as morning breath, snoring or fighting for blanket at night etc.. People also have different preferences such as room temperature, level of noise, lighting.... and without knowing the other well enough, it would be hard to predict if both would share similar preferences to have a good night sleep. To me I would only spend extended time with a client if I know that it would be a pleasant experience because there is some chemistry.  Overnight can be very intimate, very romantic, very passionate but it could also end up in a nightmare situation where both can't sleep and tired the day after because you can't tolerate the other party sharing the bed at night. Staying up all night to play is not really a thing for most people, the goal of an overnight experience is to simulate a bfe experience as much as possible and couples  do not stay up all night when they date, do they? I always tell myself that overnight or weekends can be lucrative but at the same time it could be your last contact with a good client if it ends up a bad experience, so proceed with caution. 

Most of the providers I've hired are from other states. I usually bring them to me. Sometimes they visit the area I live in on their own accord or sometimes I visit their state. The furthest place I brought a provider in was from Argentina.
What usually happens if I'm interested in someone from another state is I contact them; introduce myself; tell them what i'm in to; ask their rates for an overnight or weekend; and give a description about myself. If they show interest, I'll give them some meet-up dates and offer to cover travel costs. If we've built a level trust that they'll tell me their real names/info I'll buy their tickets, or offer to reimburse them once they arrive. The vast majority were ok with me buying their tickets. As I mentioned in another forum topic, to me this is my idea of a guaranteed deposit of my seriousness in hiring them. Otherwise, I don't do deposits. 
Sometimes, we discuss expectations before we meet... sometimes the day we meet. Things like, do they need alone time for working out, personal business, etc. I also will sometimes discuss what interests them outside the bedroom. If they stay with me for more than overnight, having things lined up outside the bedroom (i.e. movies, plays, museums, etc.) is always good. On occasion, i've met providers who would prefer to stay in the hotel room almost the entire time together and just fuck. I'm getting old... I can't do that anymore. LOL!
In general, if we're together for extended periods, I feel I'm responsible for travel costs (if they specifically come in to see me); cost of food; and extracurricular activities. For the provider, I expect them to delivery upon whatever we agree upon before the meet up. I know they are only human. So if things don't click, I understand that.  I try my best to make the visit as enjoyable for them as possible. I don't try to plan everything... a little spontaneity is always fun.
Above all, make sure you discuss specifics and expectations before hand. If the client doesn't treat you like a human being... get the hell out of there asap. In turn, don't treat the client like a walking cash register. Well, unless that's what he's into.

That's unfortunate, he took your time for granted and didn't care for you telling him that.  I'd say if he ever tried to set up something again, simply say you're not available if you don't want to see him again. No need to explain to him further or set any conditions, you don't owe him that.  Make it easy for yourself and put your attention on clients who will make the effort to keep a meeting or let you know what's going on if things don't work out to plan.
 

I actually have more forgiveness for the overslept part.  Less so for the not immediately apologizing and offering compensation. 
We all make mistakes and it's about what we do after the mistake happens.  It's why I wouldn't write the client off immediately but would be more guarded on the next time. And look for some way to get compensated  either in money or in clarifying the boundaries..

When I was younger,  "She's the Man" was so hot.  So many scenes of Channing Tatum and other guys shirtless. Such a funny movie. It doesn't quite affect me the same way now that I am older. 

In General, He'd be expected to pay for round trip air,, round trip to the hotel,nd for a reasonable predium meal.  He's booking you for the day even though he's only going to use 3-5 Hours of that time.  If you want to add Anything then that's on you and any cost changes as a result are on you.  As an aside even if hes only using a short portion of your time. He? Is. Paying for the day and if he has an opportunity to call you or make other arrangements with you. I think it's appropriate for you to be available.

Not a movie but have you watched the TV Series "Spartacus"? Not only there are tons of full frontal muscular men, there are also lots of nude fighting. It is a mainstream TV series but closest to porn ever produced and where male actors are nude more often than female counterparts

Not a movie but have you watched the TV Series "Spartacus"? Not only there are tons of full frontal muscular men, there are also lots of nude fighting. It is a mainstream TV series but closest to porn ever produced and where male actors are nude more often than female counterparts

One of my providers is a practicing attorney. He just enjoys the escape of escorting. His partner, a therapist, is also an escort. I enjoy seeing them simultaneously. They groove on having 3-somes especially if they can both top.
Another escort I see just got his PhD in neurobiology. He enjoys the diversion as well.
I seen all kinds of guys with day jobs including nursing, flight attendant, gym owner, teacher, programmer, etc. Nothing wrong with a side hustle.

I won't have had that experience until I meet you!

hey i’m not saying you’re wrong. common decency would be nice. but it’s often not afforded to us in this industry. even in this forum we get talked down to and talked over. 
the only thing i can say is to develop a thick skin so the next time this happens you won’t be as disappointed. 
and also to develop a contingency plan so when this happens again you’ll know what you want to do. 

How difficult is it to just text back that he cannot make it for the night so the provider can just move on or sleep early. If the client said something to not let me wait in limbo, then I would feel much better. However, I suspect that this client just shopped around providers or Grindr and then decide to move on with a new one instead of repeating with someone he already met. "Fell asleep" is just a lame excuse which makes me feel even worse. I have decided to block such client on RM and unless he texts me to apologize for his behavior, I won't see him again. I am not doing this solely for a living so losing a client like this is no big deal. 

I've had regulars give me a bit of a deal on longer sessions. I had one for a while where we'd still do 300 per hour but we'd do like $500 for an extended session. These often ended up being like 3-6 hours in length mostly because we enjoyed each other's company and often would watch a play since we were both into theater.
So really like 2-3 hours of bedroom time and another 2-3 hours of watching a play or having dinner or something else. It was a great deal for both of us I think since I enjoyed his company so much and I think at $500 it was worth it for him to just not stress about hustling for another client and just have a fun night doing something he enjoyed anyway. I always ended up giving him $50 as a tip too since I always had a great time with him. 

In my experience as soon as you start discounting (whether that’s offering reduced rates for regulars or students or whatever) the discounted rate becomes the new ‘floor’ for your standard hour rate. It bleeds to other clients and then becomes the expectation. So I have a simple rule: no discounts ever.  The rate is the rate, that’s it and it’s not a matter for discussion. The sooner the conversation moves from ‘how much’ to ‘this is what I like / want’ the better. I like to minimise the transactional nature of the meeting because it doesn’t help with creating the right atmosphere. 

I think they should have a little card like subway used to offer, you put the stamps on it per purchase.  Fill up the card and get a free 12 incher.

I can tell you are well intended here.
 I think hiring providers is a slippery slope for many because they want to make it something other than what it is - meaning paying for sex.  It’s a huge taboo in our culture and quite unexpectedly taboo among gay men.  If I had a nickel for every time one of my friends said “I don’t need to pay for sex”.  I’m not exactly sure what they even means other than a passive/aggressive judgement when I’m open about my hiring.  It doesn’t bother me really - but just confirms that most people think it’s wrong, even relatively liberal minded gay men.
I’m of the opposite mind - I have zero shame or stigma attached to hiring providers in any context. And I don’t care who knows it.  With the providers, I’ll treat them as any invited guest in my home but with a clear understanding of the transaction and what is expected.  To me it’s the same as other intimate service like massage.  
Just because it’s sex and I’m paying for it doesn’t mean I have to craft some narrative to mentally work around it and allow myself permission to go there.  
I’ve literally hired hundreds of guys over the years and had some long term “relationships” yet there was never any confusion that money is what held the connection together. 
Of course the money isn’t always discussed - it’s more like the oxygen in the room that allows the entire transaction to happen.  And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. 
 

I reject quite a lot of appointments because they’re last minute requests. I swear some people think I don’t do anything else except wait for their call! 

I agree wholeheartedly but I value quality than quantity so having a good client that you met before always trump meeting a totally new one.  I think what makes me feel bad is that despite having 2 good sessions earlier, this client still behaves like this. Maybe he thinks that all providers are just in for the money and therefore he can treat us whatever he likes as long as he pays. I am sure he will meet with many providers who are in for his deep pocket, but it would be very transactional and mechanical and for him to find someone truly take the effort to make it real fun, he needs to treat them with respect. I always believe in this business, it is to the client benefits to make the providers feel comfortable, you treat him good, and you get better session in return, otherwise you can just play with your toys instead. 

I agree wholeheartedly but I value quality than quantity so having a good client that you met before always trump meeting a totally new one.  I think what makes me feel bad is that despite having 2 good sessions earlier, this client still behaves like this. Maybe he thinks that all providers are just in for the money and therefore he can treat us whatever he likes as long as he pays. I am sure he will meet with many providers who are in for his deep pocket, but it would be very transactional and mechanical and for him to find someone truly take the effort to make it real fun, he needs to treat them with respect. I always believe in this business, it is to the client benefits to make the providers feel comfortable, you treat him good, and you get better session in return, otherwise you can just play with your toys instead. 

I actually prefer advanced booking and hate last minute ones. How do you expect someone to be 100% ready in a few minutes, do you expect the same when you date in real life? Providers are human too and they need time to adjust and prepare before a session. I think if someone wants a good experience, advanced booking is still preferrable. I understand that sometime clients only book when the urge is high, in that case it depends if I am in a ready state to take the appointment, if I feel I am not ready then I would politely reject. 

I'm sorry to hear that! There was certainly chemistry between the two of you, but I think he was playing games from the beginning. Almost all the time someone says he fell asleep is nothing but an easy way out. 
Believe me... the only surprising thing about this is the fact that you've already met him, don't get misbehaviors like this too personal they happen on a monthly basis and please don't write "only right now, no advanced appointment", be flexible. Some folks call at the moment while others schedule days ahead and unlike this guy keep their word. 
Never count your chickens before they hatch, if you have time to meet another client before someone who already booked you just do it. 

next time certainly ask him for a deposit. 
I also know guys who would only see top clients if they send a deposit in order for them to take time to prepare as you indicated you did. 

sorry that happened, a lot of us have been there. at this point i’m iffy on clients that have business dinners.
 
business almost always run late. just had a client earlier this week that got roped into one and it ran late. 
i ask them to let me know when dinner is over, but if it’s later than my cutoff time, i’ll  politely say we should meet another time. 

I know that clients often complain about providers who are late, no show, flake etc.. but I want to share an experience recently from a client that I was really upset about. The client was a great one and we had met twice before, both was fun and pleasant, so I was very excited when he called again to set up a meeting a few days in advance of his trip to the city. We exchanged texts to make it hot and I have prepped it well before the session (edging to make myself super horny). I also declined/postponed several requests the day before we met just to make sure I am in the optimal stage for a good time. On the day of meeting, he sent text early in the morning telling me that he will keep me in the loop on when to meet as he have some meetings during the day. Then throughout the day he kept silence all the way and when I asked for an update, he just texted back several hours later that he is still having dinner with his counterparts. I was wasting the whole night waiting for him and ended up so upset as it was already midnight and no update from him. Then I texted him that if he want to postpone or cancel just let me know. Still no response. The next day he texted me back "sorry, I fell asleep"! I feel like a piece of "sh*t" being treated like this. I know this business is transactional sometime and I hate it when clients have no respect for providers' time. Just a simple message to cancel/postpone would be so much helpful. Clients like this make me feel like quitting. Maybe I am new to this so it hurts me more, I have seen providers putting the note in their ad that "only right now, no advanced appointment" and now I know why. Just ranting after a bad experience!