DWnyc

many firms and services require you to fill out a form or have a live conversation for the free quote / initial consultation etc so that people don’t just have the provider running around for empty leads. Adding a step of requesting unlocking is a filter genuine interest though some leads may get lost. there’s a wide range and some have 20+ photos and videos and some have barely anything. I can live with that, but don’t see how someone can expect a hire without at least a face. And it’s infiuriating when even the private pictures have no face. Discretion is to be respected but those providers are in the wrong profession.

Good providers will have no problem with what you’re describing - you’re engaging them not the other way round. Treat them respectfully and professionally and from these good ones you will get the same in return. @Jamie21 @Simon Suraci fall into that category as you can see from their replies But yes some providers are not so cool. Good advice above in how to manage that. Pay attention to the tone and content of any comms while enquiring / setting up appointments for clues on how they may be with you. Don’t be intimated and go forward. If you’re in a position to hire you deserve whatever is standard for a provider with their clientele. Dont be afraid to air anything on your mind and to be assertive in asking for what you need. You can’t fault providers for not delivering by reading your mind - none of us can. Good luck and have fun!

I didn’t know what Mr Number was until a year after being on this site - and 5-6 years after seeing providers regularly. In my case using a burner had nothing to do with my reputation on MrN. And I assume many others aren’t focused on that logic either. A burner number isn’t fake - it just can’t be traced through regular background checks (until it can - the more someone uses it info builds up). If what you’re really saying is you need someone’s name, ability to run background checks on them etc - and you need their “real” number for that, to build up leverage, that’s a different matter. My Mr Number reputation is stellar. It says I’m sweet but get annoyed if kept waiting. Someone tried leaving something nasty and I got it removed because a provider alerted me while we were meeting - wasn’t a problem for him. Here’s more advice for clients: I’ve rarely met a provider who had a problem with my burner number. If they ever did I would Move on and they would lose my business. Because in my experience the odds are 90% it’s not a problem.

All good … but providers should be in the business of … providing. Clients can be upfront about certain requests. But providers will often be vague or ambiguous in their response (or even in their original advertisements) and as a result clients may think they don’t even need to ask. More than once I’ve had a provider say something like “well we can talk about that when you get here” or “why are you making it so clinical, why not come over and we’ll go with the flow” etc Fine if providers have preferences that mean they place a premium on certain services, or only perform those depending “on the moment” (ie what they make of the client) but they should disclose this beforehand whether asked pre booking, or in their original posts if a common expectation (eg kissing). A few do (they’ll say “it depends” or something similar). Some will just leave it out so clients shouldn’t complain if they missed that in the ad and didn’t stop to ask. But many are vague and perhaps deliberately so (eg to maximize bookings, hoping once a client is in the door they won’t miss something important to them or be prepared to pay extra for it).

So 0% out of a sample of 2-3 thousand? Given that many on here have said they use burner numbers (I would be surprised if it’s not close to half or even more)- your hypothesis has to be incorrect about the industry as a whole. I understand from the grapevine you have an … interesting … screening process including demanding real numbers from those who don’t meet your criteria - maybe that is what puts off burner users from following through with you specifically. I love statistical analysis.

Providers who insist on real numbers will likely lose more business from that policy than from time lost because of ghosting / flaming burner users. As with asking for photos.

Good bargaining by both parties despite being in the heat of the moment! He spotted an opportunity. Always helps to remember this is ultimately a transaction and as client you are the boss once terms agreed - puts a strain on the moment as you say but ultimately you are responsible for getting the what you want out of the deal.

I think some clients get a little coy about asking for something beforehand or even in the moment given the nature of the service. Good providers help clients through this. The bad ones can take an opportunity to avoid providing a service worthy of the donation received, or go down the upcharge path. I recall a text exchange with a provider years ago when I realized many were starting to bareback as the default. I asked him to confirm he was ok using condoms. His reply was something like: “yes but it’s $50 extra to go raw”. I was confused and repeated the question to avoid misunderstanding. His reply: “sorry honey that was a typo - it’s $50 extra for safe” …

I haven’t gone through different studies though given my initial skepticism my doctor gave me a ton of reading material to go through when I first started PrEP and much of that covered tests before the drug companies got involved. Several National governments like South Africa and India turned around dire infection forecasts based on policy projecting from some of these studies. I’d add that even if those lower numbers are accurate in some scenarios - 89-92% - they’re astounding given infection and mortality rates in the 1980s. I’d say still a miracle - separate issue from any supplementary precautions to further reduce risk.

Having said that they need to get to the point of having care options to follow. I’d say many hobbyists (don’t know about %) - are also unlikely to be on PrEP for broader “discretion” reasons such as fear of a secret part of their lives being revealed / recorded by insurance companies / their doctor

Should be about anyone’s word - not just that of a provider. Some providers may lie or be unaware of status but typically I suspect the better ones are more vigilant about testing (and not just for HIV) and do so more frequently than average. So the window between a negative result and something unfortunate for them when they can transmit may be lower than for the average population with high frequency risky behavior.

I can empathize with those who say “I don’t trust science and will still use traditional precautions” especially those older who have seen the worst years of the pandemic in person. Sometimes this include skeptics on potential negative side effects PrEP (eg on kidneys) with not enough time since launch to assess long term effects. However, I don’t get another demographic I see frequently: “PrEP seems to work for some, my risks go down as people taking I are less risky for me”. Particularly among those who ditch or never used precautions such as condoms at all. And totally baffling: those who lie (ie those who aren’t on PrEP but say they are and/or willing to use condoms). I’ve heard rationale l like: ”to shut up the PrEP n*zis” (which used to be the condom n*zis” ”I will eventually (take PrEP), I guess, just don’t want to miss out till then, my risks are really low” ”I hardly ever fool around outside of X, Y, Z (supposedly safe or celibate behavior)” ”I’ve been (not on PrEP) for years without problem, you know some people are just immune…” ”If other people want to believe something someone they don’t know tells them, isn’t it on them?”

Also applies to remaining in undetectable status for those positive Ie missing medication can change that Again the risk here is from the individuals adherence rather than in the drug efficacy (which should be studied but is a different issue)

I now cannot review my blocked list on the mobile app and only on the web version several comms also have been delayed significantly when it seemed people had blocked me or I had done so accidentally (they disappeared) only to return in one batch several hours later (and of course that always goes down well)

I’d add sometimes providers with the best of intentions can make it seem like it’s real life interaction. “I miss you”, “I’m so horny when are we seeing each other again” etc messages sent … and before people reply saying that’s unprofessional, uncommon etc I’ll say I’ve experienced that kind of thing more times than I can mention. Fell for it the first few times, got a rude shock when a provider texted me as I was a block away after our session saying he just wanted me to come back and play through the night … and as I naively returned he dropped the act and asked how many hours did I have in mind. I’ll add that a few times providers have offered to extend the session and even invited me over out of the blue making it clear it’s not a paid appointment. On the few times I’ve followed through I’ve repeatedly said “this isn’t a paid appointment, right?” And had interesting responses like “I’m a human being I have my needs too …” or “shut up, you’re on my terms now, I get to do what I want with you …” - sounds hot and it kind of is but I’ve found it so stressful and confusing I’ve told myself, never again. And to make the point clearly: these are legit providers mostly with reviews on here.