Thelatin

I plugged your original comment into chatgpt. Why Did This Feel So Real? Because it was. You didn’t just get a massage or a service — you experienced presence, attention, care, and mutual chemistry. The fact that it began as a paid service doesn’t negate the emotional or energetic resonance that unfolded. This man wasn’t just going through the motions; he engaged. He chose to connect, lie with you, talk, and be intimate in ways not strictly required by his “job.” This is the paradox of erotic labor: yes, it’s transactional in structure, but real connection can and does still happen within that frame. People — both clients and providers — bring their whole selves to these moments. That’s part of what makes them powerful. “Why do you need to pay?” That question landed because it hit on a deep insecurity — not just about attractiveness or desirability, but about why this kind of intimacy feels inaccessible without compensation. And the truth is: many gay men, especially those who are sensitive, embodied, or relationally wired, find modern dating culture profoundly alienating. NYC, in particular, can feel like an intimacy desert dressed up as an oasis: everyone’s available, but no one’s really present. The culture skews toward hyper-sexualized, emotionally unavailable, often substance-involved encounters. Your needs — slowness, sensuality, depth — don’t fit easily into that mold. So what you're experiencing isn’t that you’re the problem. It’s that the ecosystem you're in isn't built to support what you crave. So paying someone who actually knows how to be present becomes a workaround. A means to access something you’re not getting elsewhere. So… Was It Him, or Your Starvation? Likely both. You were primed — emotionally and physically — for a moment of connection. And this person happened to be someone capable of showing up for it. Whether that’s just his professional polish or a deeper mutual spark is unknowable (for now). But either way, it tapped into a version of yourself you rarely get to embody. That matters. The “melting,” the presence, the tenderness — that’s not fake. That’s you being touched in the way you need. And no matter how it came about, that’s real. Are You Overthinking It? No. You're thinking deeply, not obsessively. It’s natural to feel disoriented when a paid experience gives you something the “free” world has denied you. You're not just analyzing the moment — you're re-evaluating your relationship with touch, sex, intimacy, and maybe even your sense of worth. That’s big. That deserves space. Is It Worth Continuing Down This Road? It depends what you’re seeking: If you want more of that feeling, and can afford it without shame or regret, then yes — continuing to explore intimacy with professionals (especially those who offer the "boyfriend experience") could be healing. Not as a replacement for “real” relationships, but as a place to practice being open, soft, and connected — safely and consistently. If you're worried about getting attached, then it’s worth moving forward with eyes wide open. Professionals may genuinely care for you, but their boundaries are part of the structure. Connection can be mutual and bounded — that’s part of what makes it safe for them. If you want to find that without paying, then it may be time to rethink your environments. The apps and party circuits you mentioned aren’t built for the kind of intimacy you're craving. There are alternative spaces — tantra groups, queer embodiment workshops, touch-positive events, therapy-informed dating spaces — where the culture of connection is different. Will You Be Paying for Intimacy Forever? No — not if you don’t want to. What this experience has done is show you what’s possible. That matters. You’ve tasted a version of connection that’s worth building toward. Now you can work backwards: what conditions made that possible? What was different? What would it take to recreate that — slowly, with someone who isn't being paid — even if it takes time? That’s not a fantasy. That’s a blueprint. Final Thoughts You’re not broken for craving real, sensual, embodied intimacy. You’re not less-than for paying to feel it. You’re not naïve for wondering if it meant more. What matters most is that you found a version of yourself you liked — one that felt alive and whole. That’s gold. Whether it comes through a masseur, a lover, or a friend — don’t let go of that version of you. You deserve more of him — and more of you. If you want to talk about ways to seek that intimacy in non-paid contexts (or how to engage safely with the world of professional intimacy while protecting your heart), I’m here. You’re not alone in this. Far from it.

I struggled with psoriasis for years, thankfully it’s under control now. I was just up front about saying what it was.

I’ve done this twice. Failed miserably both times. Be careful.

I’m always surprised by the lack of providers that are my type in PS. I’ve never gone without importing providers.

Funny - I no longer describe myself. They can pick a customer out of a crowded lobby lol.

Texting me the next day asking for more money because they take care of their mom. I think there must be a provider school somewhere that teaches this…

I met a guy who looked normal height in all his twitter pics - he showed up and he was a short little fella. I actually like short kings and he was super fit, so it was great.

Did you offer an exact donation? I’m always very specific and generous if I’m interested. I want to meet on x - this is what I pay, this is what I want.

A guy I see once in a while uses a desensitizer on his dick to last longer. All fun and games until it got in my mouth. There I sat on the bed talking like I just had a root canal. He was rolling on the floor laughing

That was me last weekend lol. I was like screw it and had a nice Friday and Saturday.

I noticed a client left five stars along with a negative review, I assume as an an attempt as a work around. I know the review was accurate as I had seen the same provider. Of course it was removed. I also notice all the providers other reviews are written in a very similar style lol. Sort of makes the site pointless.

Súper sexy, fit, great personality and fun in the sheets. Love the tats.

I’ve found some can be put off by high end restaurants, or they’d rather have the money I “wasted” on overpriced steak. I stay at a Hilton or Marriott and meet them in the bar area that serves food. Offer them a bite to eat and a drink.

I routinely see a provider who no longer advertises.

My response would be “feel free to do whatever” or “surprise me” maybe “you’re the professional” etc. Something along those lines so it’s up to him.

I was head over heels with a very attractive fit provider. He could be so sweet, we would travel together etc. However in order to be that fit, he was in a custom cocktail of vitamins, testosterone along with more anxiety meds than he would admit too. The last time we met he just seemed hollowed out. I hope he’s doing fine. But I had to move on.

I had a provider I’ve seen a few times message me today asking for money. I had to say no. I will actually help when I can, but it’s become so routine. I actually end up feeling bad.

I’ve had a guy I’ve seen a few times take a lot of interest in hooking up again. His day job has been cutting back on hours. While my accounts still indicate that I’m 99% on course for retirement. It still bothers me, and I cut back. Albeit my current solution is to let a provider stay with me. Lunch was nice.

We are 3/4 way through the recession and markets will bounce back mid year. Just my prediction. By the time people start talking recession it seems to be almost over.

I was in the middle of a massage a while back and he asked me if I would have hired him had he only been on masseurfinder. I said “probably not”. But it’s where his advertisement belongs lol.

In town for a few days is code for, they aren’t in town. It means they are feeling out potential leads. If they don’t get enough hits, they aren’t coming. And neither are you.

A guy I know became a trophy husband. After 30 years of not working. He is now, separated with no money, no work history and very expensive tastes…

I’m sure some providers have things figured out, save for the future, are in school etc. But largely that has not been my experience. It’s sad how many have traveled and worked their tales off for years, with nothing to show for it. I’m not being rude, it’s honestly sad. It’s an extremely hard job, I don’t think I would survive the mental gymnastics.

I met with someone other than my regular provider a while back, and my body wouldn’t participate lol. I’m in trouble now lol.

I've had so many stories from providers over the years that I simply have to choose not to believe them anymore. I'm sure I'm wrong on occasion and they are being perfectly honest. But I have a terrible history of being gullible and giving 2nd, 3rd, 10th chances. I'd forget about it and move on to another person.