NyGold

The problem is that providers who screw in the non biblical sense can often come after you in other ways. Deposits, electronic trail with ID and other info etc. My policy now is no deposit, and I’ll show a provider an envelope containing their donation if it seems they’re uneasy when we meet (after all they have bad experiences with clients too) but payment upon full receipt of goods. My bad experiences come under the following categories: - financial: deposit, upfront payment etc then they disappear or change terms (something @Jarrod_Uncut can’t understand is a common experience) - service: they can’t get physically ready for what is expected and discussed prior to accepting the appointment, and don’t offer compensation (if already paid) or discount (if yet to be paid) or even apologize (personally even if out the whole donation I’d likely be ok with an attempt at even faking being sorry). One provider said he was really straight and doing this as he was totally broke hence being unable to perform - my response to him as I walked out and he was threatening to track me down and make my life miserable (in whispers as he was nervous about his neighbors) was he should find another way to figure out his identity issues and if the issue was he wasn’t “in to me” he shouldn’t be in this profession, or should have screened me beforehand. - misrepresenting themselves or set-up: outdated photos, claiming they can host then demanding a hotel fee right before the apt (in one case the provider met me in the lobby of a hotel which I assumed was for his comfort, but was actually because he hadn’t checked in yet), having roommate who is present (in one case in a studio apt, in another in a hotel room at 2am with “nowhere for him to go”, being in the living room of a friend the provider was crashing with and being unable to use the bathroom as “my friend doesn’t like strangers using it”’etc) - threatening behavior: it can turn nasty, one can feel unsafe either physically there in the moment (when you are literally naked and most vulnerable) or more generally (passive aggressive comments showing they’ve researched you based on ID etc). In one case the provider made reference to something and I was surprised as I hadn’t discussed that about myself (and wouldn’t) and he himself revealed he had my car license plates checked from the time I arrived and his friend (doing the check) had sent info to his phone. In another I left my wallet in someone’s hotel room; I realized as soon as I was in the lobby. He wouldn’t let me come up to get it but said he would bring it down but asked me to meet at Dunkin Donuts across the street. He arrived 40 mins later (originally saying he would be right down), gave me my wallet and didn’t say a word and left, I checked for my license, credit cards, cash etc and everything seemed ok but later found a note saying “you will never be free of me” with the date of the encounter. - manipulation that makes you want to be screwed: sob stories, typically of domestic abuse from a partner, sickness either theirs or a close relative, can’t pay rent etc These are all with providers having great reviews. Yes they can have off days, they can have difficult times, we are all human. But the legality requiring donations for time doesn’t mask the reality of what is understood to be the purpose. As with dating I’ve incorporated all this into my equation of what might be out there and am prepared to endure this for the (more likely) better encounters. But eyes wide open.

It’s come up a few times; I’ve generally found providers willing if no faces and no commercial benefit Ie for your personal pleasure / memento - I think this was common without further thought before the online content business came on stream A new trend - a couple of providers have offered a discount if I would let them film aspects of our encounter (no face option) and I’ve refused. I’ve seen some providers now have active content sites and I lean towards avoiding them. Different business goals in their minds.

I love a good reality show. Haven’t found on in here yet 🥳

Bottom line: don’t get upset if clients also make “alternative arrangements” 🥳

I’m still rather baffled as to what this post was about no one trying to gaslight the OP - if anything the other way around The op doesn’t need validation from readers here - if his business model works since his instincts and policies are, he believes, appropriate for the market he is in, no further validation needed.

One man’s bargain is another’s extravagance.

If you’re looking to make some extra dollars while traveling anyway - it’s fair to question need to be prepared to host at every moment and to be opportunistic and only seek out convenient and biz savvy ways to make that extra $. But if your road trips are really about selling on the road exploring new territories, taking a break from your home base if it feels saturated etc - you’ve got to adapt to local market conditions and be smart on cost drivers. No one stopping you from doing whatever you want - on deposits, total amount, hosting or not, charging extra for things like hosting etc - but what the market will tolerate is another matter.

Nothing is written anywhere in this business. And you won’t be able to write it here and get it enforced anywhere either 😀

Do you mean he complained you didn’t give him an outstanding review? That raises a flag.

I see more providers reaching out to me proactively (which tells me times are tough rather than I was memorable or they are getting more professional). And if the takeaway from discussions on here is that providers are so busy, and unlike anyone else their time is so valuable, the world ends if you engage with them and don’t intend to hire that minute etc etc, am I supposed to even respond? I follow my grandma’s rules and reply politely to any message received - which is typically “thanks, not right now, hope you are well’.

Didn’t misinterpret one bit. I don’t ever ask for discounts but frequently get them. I don’t send any pictures. Other than hopefully realizing I’m not a nightmare client, I’m not making a providers job any easier than it should be. Their reason for offering me a discount is their business.

Surely providers are out to maximize profits? If you were so attractive they all found you very easily beddable, surely that would be an easier way for them to get the profit, rather than then giving you a hottie discount lol. Reading the posts on here I think a lot of people get offered discounts on the starting rate quoted (I do, typically, around half the time, and without trying, it’s usually as I’m taking time to think and reply and they may think I’m uninterested because of price etc). No photo at that stage of the negotiation for me (or ever) so it’s not because I am attractive (or unattractive) to them. The point being your discount could be just about them wanting to close a deal and get cash for time that would otherwise be unpaid for them.

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Depends how you define it … if you agree on a time and they say let’s keep going when that time is up … and you either say you don’t want to book more or they volunteer “you don’t have to pay …” is that considered a freebie? That happens often - for me maybe 1/3 times. I think the expectation is you pay in tip (which is where it can get sneaky as the provider is relying on goodwill after unilaterally extending) or get converted to a repeat. I’ve often turned down the offer for extra time … as I had another appointment or … I wasn’t actually that interested!

Masseurs offering erotic or sensual who take offense if you indicate you want something more … lroviers in general taking (or should I say faking) offense at anything fine if an individual provider doesn’t offer a service (that’s not the part that annoys me) and a client should figure that out before confirming an appointment, but in this industry I find it so disingenuous to act like there is moral outrage at the idea of something that isn’t atypical with other providers or in regular male-male interaction.

What does “off the clock” even mean in this business?

I once got some helpful feedback from a provider about something (the way I was doing something) m … I could tell he was waiting to tell me something or holding something back for a while. He was very nice about it and it felt bad at the time but then it clicked … it explained some reactions I’d had from partners before. Made a big difference to my future encounters. I often thought of going back and booking a session for the sole purpose of thanking him but then I thought he’s not even going to remember me … lol

If that’s the case it suggests you go on for unpaid interaction … so what’s the complaint? Everything affects business … even the weather. But then it would affect everyone equally surely. You just said it wasn’t your style … despite what you say here about you not initiating it. No one is going to go on Grindr, see your profile and think “omg he’s going to be the best experience ever, even though this is designed for unpaid interaction I’m going to offer him $ out of the blue as he’s so amazing etc. “ So you are at some point bringing up the topic of payment, likely as a bait and switch.

Your logic doesn’t make sense to me. If I’m seeking a masseur or professional I’m looking for a specific experience. I know I can’t typically get that on Grindr. I’m not looking to pay $300 just because I didn’t score when I was horny and spent 2 hours trying to find someone online. I’m sure that happens … but if that’s your competition guess what you have to work on changing the mindset of the person on the hookup ap to wanting the different experience otherwise guess what, while he’s talking you, figuring out you tricked him and now want money, he’ll find another hookup and go silent or he’ll just be annoyed and go silent and you’ll come on here and complain about its full of time wasters. What’s the point about people complimenting your looks? So every handsome guy should just be able to make money based on that? So if you hit me up on Grindr or vice versa I need to pay you? And if there’s more competition on the sites designed for your business that’s a complaint too? Why not figure out how to compete? And when you say you get dozens of hookup offers on Grindr (nothing unique - most of us can, may not want them all but it happens) and they’ll book you as long as it’s free … dude do you understand they’re not booking you!!! I don’t think anyone reading your posts thinks you’re complaining about lack of sex. I believe they think what I do: you’re complaining about not making enough money and not being able to figure out how to do it from the way you operate and not being flexible or open minded enough to think about other ways to do it.

I don’t know how many times the average gay man hooks up online from something like Grindr. I know guys who claim they do so every night of the week and multiple times on weekends. So maybe I’m a fraction of that. But I’ll tell you if I paid each time I hooked up on one of those apps I’d be bankrupt. So your point doesn’t make sense to me.

Do you mean you think they’re asking for photos because they’re trying to make sure you’re not Indian? Surely that’s a small percentage of potential clients so not worth annoying people just for that group of people?

Yeah love the guys who say in their profile “all my pictures are within the last 3 months” but they’ve had the same pics up for 2 years!

A lot of people mentioned no reviews or not many 5 star reviews my twist on that would be if you look through the reviews and it’s pretty damn obvious that half of them are written by the same person, the same writing style, the same narrative etc. and inconsistencies … some are stupid enough to have contradictions in their profile and stats .., so they’re “bottom only” in one place but “love topping” somewhere else … or 28 in the stats but 32 in the text … I can forgive fiddling with stats to make the cut for whether a client calls or not (eg 29 yo as you’re worried 30 rules you out for people) … but not the sloppiness of the different details on the same page

“I’m ok with condoms in theory … I just don’t have any …” Like you have every toy and substance imaginable here but you don’t have one of those even though a client may walk out as a result? Lol.

It’s false equivalency. Like saying any escort asking for a deposit is really saying “I want to scam you” lol. Couldn’t resist. it’s not the same as saying no one of a specific race at all. Nor is he saying “no one who has ever escorted in their life or does so now even if it’s an unpaid encounter as I find you repulsive”. He’s just saying he doesn’t want a paid experience. You write page after page on here saying you end up wasting time with people who have no intention of hiring. Doesn’t it make it easier for you if someone tells you that isn’t for him in the first place? Those hookup apps like Grindr are not for picking up clients. Maybe it happens but I would say 99% of people there are not looking for that when on there even if they look for it somewhere else.